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BUSINESS  ENGLISH 

ITS   PRINCIPLES 
AND  PRACTICE 

:0 


BY 

GEORGE  BURTON  HOTCHKISS,  M.A. 

Professor  of  Business  English  in  New  York  Universitu 
School  of  Commerce,  Accounts  and  Finance 

AND 

CELIA  ANNE  DREW,  Ph.B. 

Instructor  in  English  in  Julia  Richman  High  School 
City  of  New  York 


AMERICAN  BOOK  COMPANY 

NEW  YORK  CINCINNATI  CHICAGO 


Copyright,  1916,  by 
GEORGE    BURTON   HOTCHKISS 

AND 

CELIA  ANNE  DREW 


All  rights  reserved 

HOTCHKISS- DREW   BUSINESS  ENGLISH 
W.   p.      2 


PREFACE 


The  biisiness  man  must  finally  judge  the  value  of  any 
textbook  on  business  English.  Its  value  is  measured  by 
its  success  in  preparing  young  men  and  women  for  prac- 
tical everyday  work  in  his  oflBce;  in  helping  them  to  use 
English,  written  and  spoken,  more  effectively  in  con- 
ducting his  transactions.  For  that  reason  this  book  has 
been  written  primarily  from  the  business  man's  stand- 
point. What  he  wants  to  know  and  what  he  wants  his 
employees  to  know  about  English,  is  presented  here. 

These  are  the  four  main  requirements : 

1  An  understanding  of  people  and  of  the  ways  to 

win  their  favorable  response. 

2  A  command  of  the  essentials  of  good  English, 

especially  sentence  structure  and  diction. 

3  A  familiarity  with  the  common  business  forms 

and  usages,  such  as  the  correct  make-up  of  a 
letter,  remittances,  and  the  like. 

4  A  general  knowledge  of  the  most  important  types 

of  commercial  transactions,  such  as  buying, 
selling,  and  collecting,  and  the  right  methods 
of  handling  them. 

The  fourth  requirement  is  capable  of  indefinite  ex- 
pansion, but  it  is  obviously  impossible  to  ask  more  than 
a  general  knowledge.  The  student  cannot  be  given  a  set 
of  formulas  for  writing  every  conceivable  type  of  busi- 
ness message.  These  types  are  innumerable;  they  differ 
according  to  the  individual  requirements  of  business 

ill 

345196 


iv  Preface 

houses.  There  are  some  general  principles,  however, 
that  apply  to  all,  and  other  principles  that  apply  to  each 
main  group.  These  principles  can  and  should  be  mas- 
tered by  the  student. 

A  complete  mastery  of  principles  comes  only  after 
practice  in  their  application.  Throughout  the  book  is  a 
profusion  of  exercise  material,  all  of  which  has  been  se- 
lected from  the  actual  day's  work  of  business  houses. 
These  exercises  have  been  carefully  graded  and  arranged 
progressively  from  the  easy  to  the  more  diflScult.  A 
large  proportion  of  them  have  been  planned  for  written 
work,  but  may  also  be  used  for  oral  work. 

The  four  parts  of  the  book  correspond  only  roughly 
to  the  four  requirements  of  business  English  enumerated 
above.  Part  I  begins  by  explaining  the  right  business 
attitude  toward  people.  In  the  other  parts  this  require- 
ment is  still  further  explained  and  illustrated.  In  fact, 
it  is  the  backbone,  so  to  speak,  of  the  book,  for  the  right 
mental  attitude  is  the  most  important  factor  in  good 
business  English. 

Part  I  also  presents  the  important  elements  of  good 
English.  Grammar  and  punctuation  are  treated  not  as 
a  system  of  rules,  but  as  a  structural  part  of  composi- 
tion. This  method  has  been  adopted  not  only  because 
the  business  man  is  not  interested  in  grammar  and 
punctuation  except  as  they  are  applied,  but  also  because 
experience  has  shown  that  students  obtain  a  better 
working  mastery  of  good  sentence  structure  and  diction 
when  it  is  taught  in  this  way.  The  experienced  teacher 
knows  that  a  knowledge  of  rules  and  the  ability  to  write 
clearly  are  often  far  apart  in  actual  practice.  No  essen- 
tial principle  of  syntax  or  punctuation  has  been  omitted. 

The  plan  here  used  also  makes  the  book  especially 
suitable  for   advanced   classes   who  are  already   well 


Preface  v 

grounded  in  grammar  and  punctuation  and  need  only  a 
review  in  their  application.  As  nearly  all  the  examples 
used  in  the  exercises  are  taken  from  actual  business  let- 
ters, the  student  is  able  to  avoid  the  more  common  mis- 
takes and  to  secure  the  important  virtues. 

Part  II  contains  the  most  important  forms  and  usages 
of  business,  and  many  other  technical  matters  a  knowl- 
edge of  which  will  enable  the  beginner  to  overcome  some 
of  the  difficulties  commonly  met  in  the  business  office. 
Material  of  similar  character  which  is  not  important 
enough  for  class  study,  but  is  helpful  for  reference,  is 
included  in  the  appendix. 

Part  III  treats  of  general  business  correspondence, 
which  forms  the  largest  part  of  business  English.  The 
principles  of  writing  the  most  important  types  of  busi- 
ness letters  are  explained  separately  and  are  illustrated 
by  good  and  bad  examples.  None  of  these  is  to  be  taken 
as  a  model  for  imitation.  The  imitation  of  models  is  a 
handicap  to  the  development  of  power  in  using  business 
English. 

Part  IV  is  devoted  to  the  most  difficult  types  of  busi- 
nesss  English,  including  sales  letters,  advertisements, 
and  reports.  This  part  may  well  be  used  for  the  work 
of  advanced  classes,  and  its  treatment  presupposes  fa- 
miliarity with  the  material  given  in  the  other  three 
parts. 

The  whole  plan  of  the  book,  however,  has  purposely 
been  made  elastic  so  as  to  suit  the  requirements  of  classes 
working  under  widely  different  conditions.  In  the  order 
here  presented  it  has  been  tested  out  successfully  not 
only  with  classes  of  students  preparing  for  business,  but 
with  those  already  engaged  in  business.  From  the  busi- 
ness man's  standpoint  the  plan  and  material  have  been 
found  practical.   It  is  believed  that  the  teacher  and  stu- 


vi  Preface 

dent  will  find  the  book  equally  interesting  and  usable. 
Certain  it  is  that  one  who  has  mastered  it  will  have  little 
that  needs  to  be  unlearned  after  entering  upon  the 
everyday  work  of  business,  and  much  that  can  be  put  to 
immediate  and  profitable  use. 

The  authors  acknowledge  indebtedness  to  many  suc- 
cessful business  houses  for  courtesy  in  permitting  the 
use  of  some  of  the  effective  letters  and  other  material  as 
illustrative  examples.  Among  those  to  whom  thanks  are 
especially  due  are:  the  Curtis  Publishing  Company;  the 
Goodyear  Tire  and  Rubber  Company;  the  Alexander 
Hamilton  Institute;  the  George  Batten  Company;  P.  F. 
Collier  &  Son,  Incorporated;  the  A.  W.  Shaw  Com- 
pany; Printers'  Ink;  the  Vogue  Publishing  Company; 
the  David  Williams  Company;  the  American  Business 
Book  Company;  and  the  Ronald  Press  Company. 

This  list  might  be  extended  indefinitely,  for  all  the 
principles  and  practice  presented  here  are  based  upon 
the  successful  experience  of  these  and  other  progressive 
American  business  houses. 


CONTENTS 

Part  I  —  The  Essentials  of  Business  English 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I    The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English  1 

II    Clearness  in  Sentences  (Through  Unity)      .  16 

III  Clearness  in  Sentences  (Through  Coherence)  24 

IV  Correctness  in  Sentence  Structure     ...  40 

V  Correctness  of  Diction 49 

VI    Force  in  Sentence  Structure 64 

VII    Force  in  Diction       75 

VIII    The  Paragraph .     .     .     ,  85 

Part  II  —  Business  Forms  and  Usages 

CHAPTER 

I    The  Standard  of  Business  Usage      .     .     .     .  103 

II    The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter      .  110 

III  Official  and  Social  Forms 125 

IV  Remittances 139 

V  Telegrams  and  Cablegrams 145 

Part  III  —  Business  Correspondence 

chapter 

I    The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters  153 

II    The  Construction  of  the  Letter      .     .     .     .  167 

III  Routine  Letters 182 

IV  Claims  and  Adjustments 197 

V  Collection  Letters        211 

VI    Applications  and  Recomjuendations  ....  231 

Part  IV  —  Sales  Letters  and  Advertising 

CHAPTER 

I    Sales  Letters 249 

II    The  Appeal  to  Various  Classes 273 

III  Follow-up  Letters 284 

IV  Advertising  Copy 294 

V  Reports 311 

VI    Business  Narrative        322 

vii 


viii  Contents 

Appendix 

PAGE 

Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Systems    .     .     .  331 

Legal  Points  in  Correspondence 350 

Printer's  Proof  Marks 356 

Abbreviations 360 

Index 367 


BUSIiNESS  ENGLISH 


PART  I 
THE   ESSENTIALS    OF   BUSINESS   ENGLISH 

CHAPTER  I 

THE   SUBSTANCE   AND    STYLE   OF   BUSINESS 
ENGLISH 

Handling  Business  Problems  in  Person 

Suppose  you  are  a  clerk  in  a  shoe  store  and  a  cus- 
tomer comes  in  to  complain  that  one  of  a  pair  of  patent 
leather  shoes  she  bought  at  a  sale  a  month  ago  has 
cracked  and  is  practically  ruined.  She  wants  you  to 
exchange  the  pair,  or  refund  her  money. 

You  might  say: 

"  We  are  very  sorry,  Madam,  but  we  cannot  exchange 
these  shoes  or  allow  you  anything  on  them.  They  are 
worthless  to  us,  for  the  manufacturer  won't  take  them 
back  and  we  can't  sell  them.  We  never  guarantee  patent 
leather  against  cracking.  However,  this  make  has 
always  given  satisfaction.  We  never  had  a  complaint 
about  it  before.  You  must  have  got  the  shoes  wet  and 
then  let  them  dry  too  quickly.  Besides,  we  never 
exchange  goods  bought  at  a  sale." 

If  you  should  talk  this  way  you  would  surely  lose  a 
customer.  Your  English  might  be  correct,  but  it  would 
not  be  good  business  English. 


2  ,    ,  Business  English 

It  would  be  much  better  to  say  something  like  this: 

'*  That  certainly  is  too  bad,  Mrs.  Brown.  We  wouldn't 
have  had  it  happen  for  a  good  deal.  Of  course,  patent 
leather  is  always  a  little  of  a  risk,  for  the  manufacturers 
won't  guarantee  it  and  once  in  a  while  a  shoe  does 
crack,  no  matter  how  careful  you  are.  And  with  the 
kind  of  weather  we  have  been  having  it's  pretty  hard 
to  keep  shoes  from  getting  wet  and  then  drying  too 
quickly.   That  is  always  bad  for  patent  leather. 

"  This  is  a  fine  make  of  shoes,  too.  Every  pair  we  had 
in  the  sale  was  snapped  up  the  first  day,  and  you  are 
the  only  one  who  has  had  trouble  with  them.  Still  you 
will  get  a  good  deal  of  service  out  of  that  shoe  yet.  Of 
course,  you  can't  wear  the  shoes  for  dress,  but  they  will 
be  all  right  to  wear  around  the  house." 

By  this  time  Mrs.  Brown  would  probably  be  in  better 
humor  and  you  could  safely  go  on: 

"I  don't  believe  you  would  have  worn  them  for  dress 
much  longer  anyhow.  That  style  is  going  out  —  we  had 
the  sale  because  we  were  discontinuing  the  line,  you 
know.  Now  I  have  something  new  here  that  I  want 
you  to  see  —  a  new  line  of  kid  boots  that  has  just  come 
in.  Only  one  or  two  women  have  seen  them.  Mrs.  Styles 
bought  a  pair  this  morning.  Just  let  me  show  them 
to  you.    They  are  going  to  be  the  thing  this  season." 

Such  a  talk  would  show  Mrs.  Brown  that  you  under- 
stand her  feelings  and  sympathize  with  them;  that  you 
have  considered  her  interests  as  well  as  your  own.  It 
might  not  result  in  a  sale  of  another  pair  of  shoes  to  her 
now,  but  it  would  tend  to  keep  her  good  will  and  thus 
lead  to  future  trade.  It  is  good  business  English,  for  it 
illustrates  the  principle :  always  remember  the  other  person. 

In  your  business  experience  you  may  never  face  the 
particular  situation  that  is  described  above.    You  will 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English     3 

meet  others,  however,  that  demand  the  effective  use  of 
oral  or  written  English.  All  of  them  —  selling  goods, 
collecting  money,  adjusting  complaints — have  their 
special  diflficulties.  To  solve  them  requires  a  knowledge 
of  the  principles  of  business  that  have  proved  successful 
in  practice. 

But  you  must  remember  that  they  are  principles,  not 
rules.  There  is  no  set  formula  for  collecting  money. 
There  is  no  model  letter  of  application  that  will  insure 
a  job  to  the  one  who  signs  it.  There  is  no  ideal  sales 
talk  that  will  loosen  the  purse  strings  of  every  customer. 
Every  business,  and  every  transaction  of  every  business, 
has  its  own  peculiarities.  The  study  of  business  English, 
therefore,  implies  the  study  of  business.  If  your  message 
is  to  impress  the  reader,  or  hearer,  and  secure  a  favor- 
able response,  the  ideas  it  contains  must  be  rightly 
selected.    They  must  he  selected  from  his  viewpoint. 

This  principle  holds  good  for  written  as  well  as  oral 
communications.  Of  course,  it  is  easier  to  deal  with  a 
person  orally  than  by  letter,  because  if  the  ideas  you 
present  first  do  not  seem  to  be  favorably  received  you 
can  change  to  another  line  of  approach.  You  can  be 
more  certain  of  getting  the  other  person's  viewpoint. 

You  must  use  greater  care  in  handling  business  trans- 
actions by  letter.  Even  though  you  sit  alone  in  your 
office  there  is  another  person  somewhere  who  is  inter- 
ested in  the  other  side  of  the  transaction.  If  you  are 
selling,  he  is  buying;  if  you  are  collecting  money,  he  is 
paying  out;  if  you  are  looking  for  a  good  position,  he  is 
looking  for  a  good  employee.  Consider  his  side  of  the 
matter  as  well  as  your  own.  Write  to  him  as  you  would 
talk  to  him  if  he  were  present.  Then  you  can  put  into 
the  message  the  ideas  that  will  appeal  to  him  and  lead 
him  to  respond. 


4  Business  English 

Distinctive  Purpose  of  Business  English 

The  communications  that  aid  in  business  trans- 
actions —  whether  sales  talks,  letters,  reports,  or  adver- 
tisements —  share  the  general  purpose  of  business, 
which  is  profit.  And  profit  results  from  action.  Hence 
our  communications  in  business  must  influence  the 
action  of  other  people.  It  has  rightly  been  said  that 
business  English  is  *'the  art  of  using  words  so  as  to 
make  men  do  things." 

Suppose  you  were  trying  to  sell  a  house  and  lot  by 
means  of  a  letter.  You  might  write  a  very  interesting 
description  of  the  house,  one  that  pictured  the  old  colo- 
nial doorway,  the  fluted  pillars  of  the  veranda,  and  the 
dormer  windows,  and  still  fail  to  induce  your  reader  to 
buy  the  property.  The  things  you  liked  might  not  be 
the  things  he  was  looking  for.  Perhaps  the  distance 
from  the  trolley  line  and  the  railroad  station,  or  the 
kind  of  heating  system  might  be  of  more  importance 
to  him.  Before  you  write  to  him  you  should  make  some 
attempt  to  discover  his  likes  and  his  interests.  In  any 
case,  your  letter  should  contain  more  than  an  interest- 
ing description  if  it  is  to  be  good  business  English. 

It  is  well  to  remember  that  practically  all  business  mes- 
sages, written  or  spoken,  have  to  do  more  than  merely 
amuse  or  instruct.  In  many  kinds  of  literary  composi- 
tion, such  as  stories  and  essays,  it  is  enough  to  do  these. 
It  is  not  necessary  that  such  compositions  secure  an 
active  response.  Hence  the  ideal  of  the  literary  writer 
has  usually  been  to  express  himself.  We  praise  his  work 
by  saying  that  it  is  a  fine  piece  of  English  expression. 

'Expression  and  Impression 

In  business  messages,  you  should  be  able  to  express 
yourself  well;   but  this   is   not   enough.    You   should 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English      5 

impress  yourself  upon  the  reader  (or  hearer).  To  put 
your  ideas  on  paper  is  of  small  value  unless  these  ideas 
are  received  by  the  reader,  and  impressed  upon  him  so 
that  he  responds  to  them.  Business  English  must  con- 
tain ideas  that  will  appeal,  and  the  form  in  which  these 
ideas  are  conveyed  must  be  suitable. 

Good  business  English  is  closely  connected  with  good 
business  policy.  One  who  has  the  ideal  of  service  in  his 
conduct  is  likely  to  have  the  ideal  of  impressing  it  in 
his  writing  and  speaking.  A  simple  example  will  illus- 
trate this. 

Suppose  you  were  in  the  order  department  of  the 
manufacturer  of  Speed  King  bicycle  tires  and  received 
the  following  letter: 

45  Spruce  Street, 
Rochester,  N.Y. 
January  7,  1916. 
Speed  King  Tire  Co., 

Akron,  Ohio. 
Gentlemen: 

I  liave  heard  about  your  tires  from  a  friend  and 
wish  to  buy  a  pair.  Please  send  them  to  me  by  express 
and  I  will  pay  for  them  when  they  come. 
Very  truly  yours, 

John  Stone 

Now  you  know  that  the  company  does  not  do  a  retail 
business,  and  therefore  does  not  fill  small  orders.  When 
such  an  order  comes  from  a  town  where  only  one  dealer 
sells  your  tires,  you  send  it  directly  to  him  to  be  filled. 
But  when  the  order  comes  from  a  large  city  like 
Rochester,  where  a  number  of  dealers  handle  your 
goods,  you  cannot  justly  send  the  order  to  any  particu- 
lar dealer  but  must  ask  the  customer  to  make  his  own 
selection.  Your  answer  to  Mr.  Stone's  letter  might, 
therefore,  be  as  follows: 


6  Business  English 

THE   SPEED   KING  TIRE   COMPANY 
AKRON.  OfflO 

January  8,  1916. 
Mr.  John  Stone, 
45  Spruce  Street, 
Rochester,  N.Y. 
Dear  Sir: 

We  have  received  your  order  dated  yesterday  for 
a  pair  of  Speed  King  tires,  but  note  that  the  size  was 
not  specified.  We  are  compelled  to  decline  the  order 
as  we  are  manufacturers  and  wholesalers  exclusively. 
It  would  be  subversive  of  our  policy  of  protecting  our 
retailers  if  we  consented  to  accept  retail  orders  our- 
selves. If  you  will  make  inquiry  of  your  local  dealers 
you  will  doubtless  be  able  to  obtain  our  tires  without 
difficulty. 

Very  truly  yours. 
The  Speed  King  Tire  Company 

Such  an  answer  might  be  considered  correct  from  the 
standpoint  of  Hterary  expression,  but  it  would  not  be 
good  business  English.  It  does  not  indicate  that  the 
writer  has  any  desire  to  serve  the  reader,  or  that  he  has 
considered  the  reader's  interests  in  the  slightest  degree. 
It  does  not  even  give  the  necessary  information.  After 
reading  it,  Mr.  Stone  might  well  feel  that  he  did  not 
wish  to  buy  tires  from  a  concern  that  showed  so  little 
regard  for  him.  If  he  did  try  to  find  a  dealer  who 
handled  Speed  King  tires,  he  might  visit  several  who 
did  not  have  them,  and  one  of  these  might  induce  him 
to  accept  some  other  make  instead. 

The  purpose  of  your  letter  should  be  to  enable  Mr. 
Stone  to  get  Speed  King  tires  without  trouble,  and  inci- 
dentally to  make  him  a  good  friend  of  the  company. 
The  following  letter  would  be  a  better  example  of 
business  English. 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English     7 

THE   SPEED   KING   TIRE   COMPANY 
AKRON,  OHIO 

January  8,  1916. 
Mr.  John  Stone, 
45  Spruce  Street, 
Rochester,  N.Y. 
Dear  Sir: 

We  thank  you  for  your  order  of  January  7,  1916  for 
a  pair  of  Speed  King  tires.  It  must  have  been  a  good 
friend  of  yours  —  and  ours  —  who  brought  them  to 
your  attention. 

When  we  first  put  these  tires  upon  the  market  we 
determined  to  have  dealers  everywhere  in  the  United 
States.  In  justice  to  these  dealers  we  do  no  retail  sell- 
ing ourselves;  in  justice  to  you,  we  have  made  it  pos- 
sible for  you  to  buy  from  a  dealer  in  your  locality  with 
less  expense  and  delay  than  you  would  have  in  buying 
directly  from  us. 

The  following  dealers  in  your  city  can  supply  you 
with  Speed  King  tires: 

Elwood  &  Eckes,  191  Main  Street; 

Hamlin  &  Stokes,  684  Main  Street; 

Marshall  Unger,  36  Northern  Boulevard; 

The  Green  Bicycle  Co.,  25  Cedar  Street. 

We  are  not  referring  your  order  to  any  one  of 
these  firms  because  we  thought  you  would  prefer  to 
make  your  own  choice.  All  of  them  are  reliable  con- 
cerns who  will  take  pleasure  in  furnishing  you  with 
the  necessary  equipment.  They  are  authorized  to 
make  good  our  guarantees  of  satisfactory  service. 
Very  truly  yours. 
The  Speed  King  Tire  Company 

This  letter  contains  all  the  information  Mr.  Stone 
needs  in  order  to  obtain  Speed  King  tires,  and  presents 
it  in  a  courteous  way.  Instead  of  refusing  to  supply  him 
because  it  is  contrary  to  '*our  policy"  it  shows  how  the 
method  of  buying  from  the  local  dealer  is  more  conven- 
ient for  him.   It  is  written  from  his  point  of  view. 


8  Business  English 

The  Style  of  a  Business  Message 

The  style  of  business  English  as  well  as  the  substance 
is  governed  by  the  principle  of  taking  the  reader's  point 
of  view.  This  ''you  attitude"  is  in  fact  the  whole  key 
to  success  in  securing  a  favorable  response.  Let  us  see 
how  it  applies  to  the  style.  A  message  has  three  factors : 
the  sender;  the  subject  (the  substance  or  ideas) ;  and  the 
receiver.  Properly  speaking,  the  message  does  not  exist 
until  it  has  been  received  and  understood. 

The  wireless  operator  of  an  ocean  liner  taps  his  keys 
and  sends  out  electric  waves  of  a  certain  order  and  dura- 
tion. This  is  not  a  message  until  some  other  instrument 
has  received  them  and  recorded  the  signal,  say,  SOS. 
This  in  turn  is  not  a  message  unless  the  receiver  knows 
that  it  means,  "We  are  in  distress.  Send  help."  Then 
there  is  a  message  and  a  response  will  follow. . 

Hugh  Jennings,  the  baseball  manager,  dances  up  and 
down  on  the  coaching  line,  pulls  three  blades  of  grass 
and  slaps  his  knee.  To  the  spectator  it  is  a  meaningless 
and  absurd  series  of  contortions.  To  Ty  Cobb  on  first 
base  it  means  "Steal  on  the  first  ball  pitched."  It  has 
become  a  message  to  him  because  he  has  received  it,  and 
he  responds. 

The  business  message  is  not  so  different  from  these  as 
it  at  first  appears.  Words  are  a  code,  just  the  same  as 
dots  and  dashes  or  baseball  signals.  We  discover  this 
when  we  attempt  to  learn  a  foreign  language  and  find 
that  symbols  on  paper  do  not  make  a  message  until  they 
are  read  and  translated  into  ideas.  There  must  be  a  com- 
mon understanding  between  the  writer  and  the  reader. 

The  Language  of  Business 

Every  message  of  any  kind  is  transmitted  by  means 
of  a  code  which  must  be  understood  by  both  sender  and 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English     0 

receiver.  They  must  use  the*  same  language  whether 
this  consists  of  dots  and  dashes  or  of  words. 

We  do  not  think  of  the  EngHsh  language  as  a  code  of 
symbols,  for  to  most  of  us  it  is  our  native  tongue.  But 
if  you  doubt  that  it  is  really  a  code,  take  up  to-day's 
newspaper  and  try  to  read  the  financial  column.  The 
talk  of  hardening  rates,  narrow  movements,  and  short  com- 
mitments will  convey  little  meaning  to  you.  Ask  your 
grandmother  to  read  the  account  of  yesterday's  ball 
game,  or  your  uncle  to  glance  through  the  fashion  page. 
The  English  language  of  to-day  is  made  up  of  many 
codes.  Every  trade  and  profession  has  its  separate 
vocabulary  of  words  that  mean  little  to  those  outside 
the  group. 

Business  has  many  words  peculiar  to  itself,  like 
invoice,  voucher,  draft,  and  receipt.  These,  however,  do 
not  constitute  business  English  as  we  understand  the 
term.  Still  less  are  such  stilted  and  lifeless  expressions 
as  pursuant  to,  beg  to  advise,  and  esteemed  favor,  to  be 
considered  business  English. 

There  was  a  time  when  business  communications  were 
composed  largely  of  words  and  phrases  of  this  type,  and 
business  English  still  suffers  from  this  handicap.  They 
were  perhaps  legitimate  fifty  years  ago  when  business 
was  confined  to  the  few,  and  transactions  were  carried 
on  chiefly  by  personal  contact.  Written  communica- 
tions then  served  mainly  as  "black-and-white"  records 
for  legal  purposes,  and  naturally  acquired  some  of  the 
legal  phraseology  and  much  of  the  legal  atmosphere. 

Conditions  to-day  are  different.  Business  has  reached 
out  and  touched  everybody.  Great  mail-order  houses 
have  sprung  up  and  have  developed  businesses  involv- 
ing over  a  hundred  million  dollars  a  year  without  the 
personal  contact  of  buyer  and  seller.  Written  messages 


10  Business  English 

have  increased  a  thousandfold  in  amount  and  range. 
They  are  doing  nearly  everything  that  can  be  done  by 
persons,  and  they  have  had  to  become  personal.  There 
is  now  little  reason  or  excuse  for  using  stilted  phrases 
that  would  not  be  used  in  personal  conversation. 
Compare  the  style  of  the  following  letters : 

Dear  Sir: 

Replying  to  your  esteemed  favor  of  the  23d  inst. 
we  beg  to  say  that  our  supply  of  catalogues  has  be- 
come exhausted,  due  to  the  unpreceder\,ted  demand  for 
same.  A  new  edition  is  now  in  press,  and  delivery  of 
a  portion  thereof  is  promised  us  by  the  2nd  prox.  Copy 
will  then  be  mailed  you.  Trusting  that  the  delay 
causes  you  no  inconvenience,  we  beg  to  remain, 

Yours  very  truly, 
Dear  Sir: 

We  acknowledge  with  thanks  your  letter  of  May  23, 
requesting  our  latest  catalogue.  An  unusually  large 
demand  has  exhausted  our  supply  of  catalogues,  but 
we  are  now  having  a  new  edition  printed,  and  shall 
probably  have  some  copies  by  June  2.  We  shall  see 
that  one  is  mailed  to  you  as  soon  as  we  receive  them. 

We  regret  this  unavoidable  delay  and  hope  that  it 
will  cause  you  no  inconvenience. 

Very  truly  yours. 

The  first  of  these  two  letters  is  a  compound  of  worn- 
out,  lifeless  expressions  that  convey  nothing  of  the  per- 
sonal feeling.  The  second  is  in  language  that  might  be 
used  in  everyday  conversation.  The  first  is  not  the 
true  business  English  of  to-day;  the  second  is. 

Adjustment  to  the  Reader 

An  excellent  reason  for  avoiding  stilted  phrases  and 
using  simple  conversational  language  is  the  fact  that 
the  code  of  a  message  must  be  understood  by  both 
writer  and  reader.  This  usually  demands  that  an  adjust- 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English     11 

ment  should  be  made  by  one  or  the  other.  The  reader 
of  a  foreign  language  makes  an  adjustment  to  the 
writer  when  he  studies  the  grammar  and  syntax  of  this 
language  and  acquires  a  knowledge  of  its  vocabulary. 
The  reader  of  Chaucer,  Shakespeare,  Browning,  or  any 
other  great  English  writer  makes  an  adjustment  in  the 
same  way.  Often  he  has  to  be  helped  by  some  one  who 
has  made  a  long  study  of  the  author  and  can  understand 
his  meaning  completely. 

The  important  thing  to  remember  is  that  in  the  case 
of  literature  the  reader  usually  has  to  make  the  adjust- 
ment. He  is  willing  to  do  this,  for  it  is  worth  some  sacri- 
fice of  time  and  energy  to  receive  the  message  of  a  great 
writer.  The  reader  who  is  looking  for  instruction  or 
amusement  may  always  be  depended  upon  to  make  the 
adjustment. 

This  is  not  the  case  with  business  messages.  They  are 
to  bring  profit  to  the  writer.  The  reader  cannot  be 
expected  to  go  out  of  his  way  to  receive  or  understand 
the  message,  even  though  it  may  mean  profit  to  him 
also.  It  must  meet  him  on  his  own  level.  It  must  be  in 
his  own  language.  It  must  economize  his  time  and 
effort.  In  short,  the  ''golden  rule"  of  business  English 
is  ''Adjust  the  language  to  the  reader."  Only  by  doing 
this  can  we  hope  to  make  the  impression  that  will  secure 
a  response. 

Many  people  to  whom  we  wish  to  write  business  mes- 
sages are  unfamiliar  with  the  terms  used  in  business. 
Many  more  are  unfamiliar  with  such  words  as  subversive, 
obtrude,  and  obviate.  We  must  not  tax  our  readers  with 
them,  if  we  would  impress  our  message.  It  is  always 
safest  in  writing  to  a  person  to  use  only  such  words  as 
would  be  used  in  personal  conversation  with  him. 

As  we  shall  see  later,  the  principle  of  adjusting  Ian- 


12  Business  English 

guage  to  the  reader  involves  not  only  the  choice  of 
words  but  all  the  other  details  of  style.  It  involves  an 
attempt  to  learn  the  character,  position,  education,  and 
interests  of  the  reader  and  adapting  the  form  of  the 
message  to  these  conditions. 

Style  depends  largely  on  the  individual  reader  or  class 
of  readers,  but  there  are  some  qualities  that  are  always 
essential  because  they  are  universally  necessary  for  an 
impression  upon  the  reader.  The  most  important  of 
these  qualities  are  clearness,  correctness,  and  force. 

Clearness 

To  make  a  strong  impression  upon  any  reader  we 
must  save  his  time  and  mental  energy.  We  must  make 
it  easy  for  him  to  read  and  to  grasp  the  meaning  at  once, 
and  without  any  possibility  of  misunderstanding.  If 
this  involves  the  sacrifice  of  our  pet  methods  of  expres- 
sion or  our  recently  learned  phrases,  these  must  be 
sacrificed.   Impression  is  the  important  thing. 

Messages  that  lack  clearness  are  classified  as  obscure, 
ambiguous,  or  vague.  They  are  obscure  when  no  meaning 
whatever  is  obtained  from  them.  This  usually  occurs 
when  the  language  or  construction  of  the  writer  is  un- 
familiar to  the  reader.  The  remedy  is  to  use  simple  words 
and  simple  sentence  forms  wherever  possible.  If  there 
is  any  fear  that  abbreviations  may  not  be  understood, 
write  words  out  in  full.  Remember  that  it  is  the  reader's 
time  and  energy,  not  the  writer's,  that  should  be  saved. 

Vagueness  and  ambiguity  are  somewhat  different.  A 
message  is  vague  when  the  meaning  is  indefinite.  It  is 
ambiguous  when  it  may  mean  either  of  two  things.  The 
remedy  for  vagueness  and  ambiguity  is  exactness.  The 
language  used  should  be  capable  of  meaning  only  one 
thing  to  the  reader. 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English     13 
Correctness 

Correctness  is  a  necessary  aid  to  clearness,  for  clear- 
ness is  largely  a  matter  of  the  words  used  and  the  sen- 
tence structure.  The  words  themselves  must  be  correct; 
that  is,  they  must  conform  to  the  standards  of  good  use 
as  established  by  authorities.  It  is  only  because  of  a 
general  agreement  that  a  certain  word  stands  for  a  cer- 
tain idea  that  people  are  able  to  communicate  thought 
in  writing  at  all.  For  the  same  reason  the  combination 
of  the  words  should  be  in  accordance  with  the  accepted 
rules  of  grammar. 

But  correctness  is  necessary  for  other  reasons.  Even 
though  the  reader  might  understand  a  message  that  did 
not  conform  to  the  requirements  of  good  use,  he  would 
be  likely  to  be  distracted  from  it  by  its  faults,  and  he 
would  be  almost  certain  to  get  a  poor  impression. 

Force 

The  third  great  quality  of  an  impression  that  leads  to 
profitable  response  is  force.  The  message  must  have 
something  distinctive  about  it  that  sets  it  apart  from 
others.  Even  though  the  language  is  simple,  it  should 
not  be  commonplace,  and  it  must  not  be  trite.  That  is 
one  reason  why  models  are  to  be  avoided  in  learning  to 
write  business  English.  It  is  one  reason  why  the  stand- 
ardized or  stereotyped  language  that  so  many  business 
houses  use,  can  never  secure  the  best  response. 

A  message  that  is  forceful  makes  the  receiver  read  it 
and  remember  it.  It  is  different  from  the  others  on  his 
desk.  It  has  life  and  vigor.  It  represents  a  man  speak- 
ing to  him,  and  not  the  mechanical  clack  of  the  type- 
writer. Advertising  men  usually  speak  of  this  quality 
as  the  ''punch,"  and  it  is  their  constant  aim  to  secure  it. 

These  qualities,  clearness,  correctness,  and  force,  are 


14  Business  English 

essential  to  good  business  English  style.  They  must  be 
acquired  first.  Other  qualities  are  essential  to  some  kinds 
of  messages  and  will  be  considered  later. 

Keep  constantly  in  mind  the  fact  that  all  messages 
used  in  business  require  a  knowledge  of  business  meth- 
ods, and  seek  to  obtain  this  in  every  way  possible.  Still 
more  important,  remember  that  business  English  must 
be  written  from  the  reader's  point  of  view.  In  substance 
and  style  it  should  be  adapted  to  him,  should  economize 
his  time  and  effort.   Then  it  is  likely  to  be  efficient. 

Exercises  for  Oral  Work: 

In  the  following  situations  a  student  should  take  the 
part  of  A  and  the  teacher  or  another  student  may  take 
the  part  of  B. 

1  A  is  cashier  of  a  large  grocery.  B  comes  in  to  complain  that  on 
her  monthly  bill  she  has  been  charged  with  an  item  of  $1.62  for 
groceries  purchased  over  three  months  before.  This  item  has  not 
appeared  on  previous  monthly  bills,  all  of  which  have  been  paid 
promptly.  She  thinks  there  is  some  mistake.  A  should  explain 
that  the  bookkeeper  failed  to  enter  the  item  at  the  proper  time, 
and  that  the  error  was  discovered  in  the  semiannual  audit  of 
the  books.  He  shows  her  the  sales  slip  and  the  entries  for  the 
month  in  question. 

2  A  is  clerk  in  a  shoe  store.  B  complains  that  a  pair  of  shoes  pur- 
chased the  week  before  and  worn  only  two  days  are  too  tight  and 
wishes  to  exchange  them.  A  should  try  to  satisfy  him  by  ha\  ing 
the  shoes  stretched  in  the  necessary  places. 

3  A  is  collecting  some  long  overdue  bills  for  groceries.  B  owes 
$43.40.  Some  of  the  items  are  ten  weeks  old.  He  says  he  has  been 
out  of  work  for  two  months  and  has  just  secured  a  job.  A  should 
get  B  to  promise  to  pay  a  part  of  the  bill  on  his  first  pay  day. 

4  A  calls  upon  B  on  a  day  which  the  latter  has  fixed  for  the  pay- 
ment of  $10  on  account.  B  now  wishes  to  postpone  payment 
until  a  later  date.  A  should  hold  him  to  his  promise. 

5  A  is  a  clerk  in  a  stationery  store.  B  asks  for  ruled  letter  paper  of 
good  quality.  On  account  of  the  fact  that  this  paper  is  out  of 
style  and  not  in  demand  there  is  none  in  stock.  A  should  try  to 


The  Substance  and  Style  of  Business  English     15 

sell  plain  paper.  With  each  pad  and  box  there  is  a  blotting  sheet 
with  ruled  lines  to  be  placed  beneath  each  sheet  of  paper  as  used, 
so  that  the  writing  may  be  kept  straight. 

6  A  is  clerk  in  a  sporting  goods  store.  B  asks  for  a  make  of  camera, 
talking  machine,  or  revolver  that  is  not  kept  in  stock.  A  should 
try  to  sell  B  something  equivalent. 

7  A  has  a  prospective  customer  who  is  considering  the  purchase 
of  an  article  (anything  the  students  know  about  and  are  inter- 
ested in).  He  should  try  to  convince  the  customer  (B)  of  the 
value  of  the  article. 

8  A  is  private  secretary  to  the  president  of  a  corporation.  B,  a 
stranger,  enters  and  asks  to  see  the  president.  A  should  tactfully 
try  to  find  out  B's  mission  before  disturbing  the  president,  who  is 
a  very  busy  man. 

Exercises  for  Written  Practice: 

(Some  of  these  exercises  may  profitably  be  used  in 
connection  with  the  exercises  in  sentence  structure  and 
paragraphing  in  the  later  chapters.) 

1  Write  to  an  acquaintance  recommending  some  book  that  you 
have  recently  read. 

2  Write  to  your  parents,  giving  some  reason  for  being  permitted 
to  play  football. 

3  Explain  why  you  wish  to  go  into  business. 

4  Explain  why  the  talking  machine  is  a  good  investment. 

5  Write  to  a  local  merchant  who  uses  horse  and  wagon  delivery, 
explaining  the  superior  advantages  of  the  automobile. 

6  Write  a  brief  statement  of  some  reasons  for  buying  from  local 
retail  stores  rather  than  from  distant  mail-order  houses. 

7  Write  a  description  of  a  piece  of  property  in  your  city  that  you 
think  would  be  a  suitable  site  for  a  factory. 

8  You  are  employed  in  a  grocery  store.  Write  to  Dick  &  Dill, 
wholesale  grocers,  for  their  prices  on  best  creamery  butter  in 
pound  packages. 

9  Write  Dick  &  Dill's  reply. 

10  You  are  employed  by  a  real  estate  firm.  A  man  who  is  to  move 
to  your  city  in  the  near  future  has  inquired  about  houses  selling 
for  $8000,  or  less.  He  has  three  small  children.  Write  a  descrip- 
tion of  some  house  that  you  think  would  appeal  to  him. 


CHAPTER  II 

CLEARNESS   IN  SENTENCES  (Through  Unity) 

Methods  of  Securing  Clearness 

Clearness  is  the  most  necessary  quality  of  business 
English.  To  obtain  it,  each  sentence  must  be  clear.  It 
must  have  a  single  definite  meaning,  and  that  meaning 
must  be  revealed  immediately  and  unmistakably. 

Two  great  principles  to  be  applied  in  constructing  the 
sentence,  or  in  revising  it  to  make  it  clearer  are  first, 
the  principle  of  concentration,  or  unity;  second,  the 
principle  of  progress,  or  coherence. 

Unity  or  Concentration 

The  principle  of  unity  requires  that  a  sentence  have 
oneness  of  thought  and  idea.  It  should  contain  one  and 
only  one  main  idea  with  its  closely  connected  modifying 
ideas.  Nothing  that  is  necessary  to  a  complete  under- 
standing of  this  idea  should  be  omitted.  Nothing  that 
is  superfluous  should  be  included. 

There  are  four  ways  in  which  sentence  unity  is  com- 
monly violated: 

1  By  omission  of  necessary  words; 

2  By  incorrect  punctuation; 

3  By  separating  an  idea  into  fragments; 

4  By  coinbining  irrelevant,  or  loosely  related,  ideas. 

Omission  of  Necessary  Words 

No  word  should  be  omitted  which  is  necessary  to  the 
complete  understanding  of  the  sentence.    Such  omis- 

16 


Clearness  in  Sentences  17 

sions  are  frequent  in  business  letters  of  careless  people, 
and  are  usually  due  to  a  desire  for  brevity.  Even  when 
the  reader  may  safely  be  relied  upon  to  supply  the  miss- 
ing word,  it  is  unwise  to  put  him  to  this  trouble. 

"This  machine  is  better  than  any  on  the  market,"  im- 
plies that  this  machine  is  not  on  the  market.  What  the 
writer  intended  to  say  was,  "This  machine  is  better  than 
any  other  on  the  market." 

Sometimes  the  subject  is  omitted,  especially  where 
the  first  personal  pronoun  would  be  required  by  the 
sense,  as,  "Received  your  letter,"  or  "Am  sixteen  years 
of  age."   The  subject  should  be  expressed. 

Similarly,  the  auxiliary  of  the  verb  is  sometimes 
omitted  for  the  sake  of  brevity.  "Your  letter  received," 
should  read,  "Your  letter  has  been  received." 

Again,  the  omission  may  be  that  of  the  article  and  its 
accompanying  adjective  with  the  second  of  two  con- 
nected nouns.  For  example:  "We  wish  to  inform  you 
that  at  the  last  business  meeting  of  the  stockholders  we 
elected  a  secretary  and  treasurer  to  fill  the  vacancies 
made  by  the  resignations  of  Mr.  Jones  and  Mr.  Smith." 
If  the  reader  is  to  understand  that  only  one  officer  was 
elected,  the  sentence  is  correct;  but  if  two  were  elected, 
the  sentence  should  read,  "a  secretary  and  a  treasurer." 

In  a  long  sentence,  repeat  the  subject,  or  some  word 
relating  to  the  subject  as  a  summary  of  what  precedes. 
"The  best  material,  the  finest  workmanship,  the  quick- 
est distribution  are  our  boasts."  The  sentence  would 
be  clearer  if  written,  "The  best  material,  the  finest 
workmanship,  the  quickest  distribution  —  these  are  our 
boasts." 

It  is  well  sometimes  to  repeat  the  subject,  or  a  word 
relating  to  the  subject,  when  the  omission  would  result  in 
ambiguity.    Here  is  a  case  in  point:  "He  claims  to  be 


18  Business  English 

working  for  the  Fusion  Party  which  is  really  being  in- 
jured by  his  action,  and  is  unwilling  that  any  one  else 
should  take  his  place."  Clearness  is  gained  by  saying, 
"and  he  is  unwilling  that  any  one  else  should  take  his 
place." 

Exercises 

Bearing  the  above  points  in  mind,  make  the  following 
sentences  clear  by  supplying  the  omitted  word  or  words. 

1  A  good  ad  in  the  "Star"  brings  a  larger  number  of  replies  and 
makes  a  greater  per  cent  profit  than  any  publication. 

2  You  take  no  risk.  We  put  up  the  strongest  possible  guarantee  on 
our  values,  and  if  not  satisfied  with  results  refund  the  money. 

3  We  believe  our  prices  are  lower  than  our  competitor  and  our 
product  better. 

4  Have  been  in  the  business  for  years. 

5  In  addition  to  operating  architectural  and  structural  plant  have 
well  equipped  machine  shop. 

6  Passengers  are  warned  not  to  get  off  cars  while  in  motion. 

7  He  did  not  know  the  manufacturer  had  so  heavily  insured  the 
plant. 

8  No  factory  in  America  is  as  well  equipped  as  ours  in  Milwaukee. 

9  Offer  received  and  terms  accepted. 

10  He  reported  that  the  majority  were  in  favor  of  abandoning  the 
strike,  for  which  I  was  not  prepared. 

Incorrect  Punctuation 

The  chief  value  of  punctuation  is  as  an  aid  to  clear- 
ness.' Punctuation  marks  should  show  where  one  com- 
plete idea  ends  and  another  begins;  and  they  should  also 
show  the  relation  between  main  ideas  and  subordinate 
ideas.  The  period  (.)  is  the  mark  of  finality  and  should 
be  used  at  the  end  of  every  declarative  sentence. 

A  frequent  error  is  that  of  writing  two  complete  ideas 
as  a  single  sentence  with  only  a  comma  (,)  for  separation. 
This  is  called  the  '*  comma  fault." 


Clearness  in  Sentences  19 

Example:  We  have  examined  the  samples,  they  are 
not  of  the  right  quality  for  our  purposes. 

The  simplest  way  to  correct  this  fault  is  by  substitut- 
ing a  period  for  the  comma,  and  beginning  the  following 
word  with  a  capital. 

Correct:  We  have  examined  the  samples.  They 
are  not  of  the  right  quality  for  our  pur- 
poses. 

Sometimes  the  sentence  can  be  made  a  unit  by  supply- 
ing connecting  words  that  show  the  relation  between  the 
two  clauses.  If  the  second  clause  is  closely  connected 
in  idea  with  the  first,  the  semicolon  (;)  may  be  used  in 
place  of  the  comma;  if  the  second  clause  repeats  the  idea 
of  the  first,  the  colon  (:)  may  be  used. 

Correct:  We  have  examined  the  samples,  and  find 
that  they  are  not  of  the  right  quality  for 
our  purposes. 

Another  error  is  that  of  separating  subordinate  clauses 
from  the  independent  clause  and  punctuating  each  one 
as  a  separate  sentence.  A  group  of  words  is  not  necessa- 
rily a  sentence.  A  sentence  must  have  a  subject  and  a 
predicate;  and  it  must  not  be  introduced  by  a  subordin- 
ating conjunction  if  it  is  to  have  the  dignity  of  a  capital 
at  its  beginning  and  a  period  at  its  end. 

Wrong:     Sales  of  this  brand  are  already  above  the 

thousand  mark.    Although  it  has  been  on 

the  market  less  than  a  year. 
Right:        Sales  of  this  brand  are  already  above  the 

thousand  mark,  although  it  has  been  on  the 

market  less  than  a  year. 
Right:        Although  this  brand  has  been  on  the  market 

less  than  a  year,  its  sales  are  already  above 

the  thousand  mark. 


20  Business  English 

Exercises. 

Make  the  following  sentences  unified  by  supplying 
correct  punctuation: 

1  Our  line  of  fall  overcoats  is  not  complete  in  all  sizesTwe  are  selling 
them  at  greatly  reduced  prices,  come  and  see. 

2  We  are  surprised  that  the  goods  have  not  been  delivered,  they 
left  our  factory  a  week  ago. 

3  It  is  an  exceptional  chance,  some  one  is  going  to  take  advantage 
of  it,  why  not  you? 

4  You  were  pleased  with  these  goods,  we  expected  you  to  pay  for 
them  promptly. 

5  I  have  had  a  good  education.  Being  a  graduate  of  Old  town  High 
School. 

6  This  is  positively  our  lowest  price.  As  we  are  making  a  very  small 
margin  of  profit  on  this  line. 

7  We  are  sending  you  our  latest  catalogue,  you  will  find  it  interesting. 

8  The  Beaver  will  take  any  size  paper.  While  others  are  limited  to 
nine  inches. 

9  When  a  clerk  sells  goods  over  the  counter,  a  mental  appeal  is 
made  by  a  sales  talk,  and  a  sales  talk  is  used  to  direct  the  mind 
of  the  customer  to  the  goods  displayed.  The  goods  making  the 
physical  appeal. 

10  This  machine  has  an  enviable  reputation.   Which  fact  our  com- 
petitors cannot  dispmte. 

Fragmentary  Ideas 

In  some  cases  the  form  of  the  clause  indicates  that  it 
is  a  main  idea  when  it  is  really  subordinate  in  sense  and 
should  be  combined  with  the  sentence  that  precedes  or 
follows.  Judgment  has  to  be  used  in  combining  these 
fragmentary  ideas  so  that  each  sentence  shall  be  a  com- 
plete unit  of  thought. 

Example:  This  machine  is  substantial  and  durable. 
It  will  last  a  lifetime. 

Correct:      This  machine  is  substantial  and  durable:  it 
will  last  a  lifetime. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  21 

Clearer:  This  machine  is  so  substantial  and  dur- 
able that  it  will  last  a  lifetime. 

Exercises 

Revise  the  following  sentences  for  greater  clearness 
by  making  them  unified: 

1  A  good  deal  of  statistical  information  has  been  collected.  It  cost 
$10,000  to  get  it. 

2  Regular  reports  are  difficult  to  get.  Managers  have  found  this  to 
be  the  case.   That  is  when  office  work  is  unorganized. 

3  We  guarantee  perfect  satisfaction.   Or  refund  money. 

4  This  silk  is  imported.   We  get  it  from  China.   And  we  buy  only 
the  best  quality. 

5  Coffee  is  a  harmless  beverage.  That  is  when  it  does  not  contain 
caffeine. 

Combination  of  Irrelevant  or  Loosely  Related  Ideas 

Unity  requires  that  there  should  be  a  logical  relation 
between  the  ideas  in  a  sentence.  If  that  relation  does 
not  exist,  the  sentence  must  be  divided. 

Example:  The  business  barometer  indicates  high 
prices  on  all  woolen  goods  this  fall,  and  we 
are  offering  a  full  line  of  specialties  that 
we  are  sure  will  appeal  to  the  trade. 

Since  these  two  ideas  are  unrelated,  express  them  in 
two  sentences. 

Correct:  The  business  barometer  indicates  high 
prices  on  all  woolen  goods  this  fall.  We 
are  offering  a  full  line  of  specialties  that 
we  are  sure  will  appeal  to  the  trade. 

A  long  sentence  containing  many  ideas  is  frequently 
obscure,  even  where  the  ideas  are  logically  connected. 
The  reader  finds  it  difficult  to  retain  the  thought  in  his 


22  Business  English 

mind  to  the  end.   Such  a  sentence  should,  therefore,  be 
divided  and  thus  made  clearer. 

Example:  We  have  adopted  the  policy  of  large  pro- 
duction for  we  have  found  that  this  en- 
ables us  to  sell  our  cars  at  low  prices  and 
the  large  demand  that  has  resulted  has  en- 
abled us  to  counterbalance  the  small  profit 
on  each  car  by  a  wide  sale,  so  that  both  our 
customers  and  ourselves  have  been  the 
gainers. 

Better:  We  have  adopted  the  policy  of  large  produc- 
tion for  we  have  found  that  this  enables  us 
to  sell  our  cars  at  low  prices.  The  large 
demand  that  has  resulted  has  enabled  us 
to  counterbalance  the  small  profit  on  each 
car  by  a  wide  sale.  Both  our  customers  and 
ourselves  have,  therefore,  been  the  gainers. 

Exercises 

Revise  the  following  sentences  for  clearness  by  mak- 
ing them  unified: 

1  Reliable  goods,  and  attractive  styles  are  to  be  had  at  Jones'  store 
and  Mr.  Jones  has  an  energetic  sales  force. 

2  An  attractive  picture  may  be  spoiled  by  an  inappropriate  frame 
and  our  prices  are  the  lowest. 

3  I  agree  with  you  partly  as  to  the  amount  of  education  I  get  in 
your  office  insomuch  that  it  is  practical  and  not  mental,  whereas 
in  taking  this  course  I  have  a  chance  to  get  more  of  the  mental 
facts  of  your  branch  of  business,  which  of  course  will  help  me 
very  much  as  a  foundation  for  the  practical  experience  that  I  am 
having  every  day  in  your  employ. 

4  The  business  outlook  for  this  spring  is  excellent,  and  we  have  a 
large  line  of  imported  novelties  to  dispose  of  at  remarkable  re- 
ductions in  prices,  and  trust  that  our  service  in  the  past  has  been 
satisfactory. 

5  My  services  have  always  been  satisfactory  to  my  employer  who 
will  gladly  testify  as  to  my  business  ability,  and  I  have  the  degree 
of  C.  E.  from  the  university. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  23 

6  You  know  that  sound  is  transmitted  by  vibrations,  if  you  stop 
vibrations  you  deaden  sound. 

7  Sales  are  larger  this  year  than  ever  before,  and  this  would  not 
have  been  the  case  if  our  goods  had  not  given  satisfaction  for 
satisfied  customers  are  the  basis  of  our  success. 

8  His  intention  was  to  produce  a  catalogue  which  would  reflect  credit 
on  the  company  which  he  felt  was  the  leader  in  the  field. 

9  On  account  of  the  scarcity  of  dyestuffs,  caused  by  the  war,  we 
advise  all  the  young  men  and  women  who  wish  to  avoid  wearing 
white  stockings  this  winter,  to  lay  in  a  supply  as  soon  as  possible. 

10  Americans  do  not  know  the  delight  to  be  had  from  well-made 
tea,  if  they  did  it  would  become  a  more  popular  drink. 

11  A  condition  had  come  about  whereunder  it  was  absolutely  impos- 
sible for  the  railroads  to  hold  their  expenses  in  proper  relation  to 
their  gross  earnings,  and  this  was  due  to  many  different  influences 
which  have  been  at  work  for  a  number  of  years,  and  this  condi- 
tion was  greatly  intensified  by  the  war  and  immediate  relief  made 
necessary. 

12  We  guarantee  satisfaction,  and  if  you  are  not,  your  money  will  be 
refunded. 

13  Our  claim  is  that  this  garment  will  fit  and  look  better  on  more 
men  than  any  on  the  market. 

14  You  are  not  the  only  manufacturer  of  shoes,  but  there  are  a  num- 
ber of  others  e^ngaged  in  the  same  industry,  and  all  of  those  so 
engaged  are  striving  to  obtain  for  themselves  the  largest  propor- 
tion possible  of  the  business  that  is  offered  and  no  matter  how 
well-grounded  you  may  be  in  the  fundamental  principles  of  man- 
ufacturing and  selling  and  no  matter  how  well  you  may  realize 
that  in  order  to  do  a  prosperous  business  you  must  obtain  some- 
thing in  excess  of  the  cost  of  your  goods,  you  are  no  longer  a  free 
agent  as  you  would  be  under  monopoly,  but  affected  by  the  acts 
of  others,  many  of  whom  are  ignorant  of  the  first  principles  of 
business,  and  are  groping  in  the  dark  and  hoping  against  hope 
that  they  may  conduct  their  business  at  a  profit,  and  this  condi- 
tion is  called  "competition,"  the  striving  of  two  or  more  persons 
for  the  same  thing,  and  it  is  a  condition  that  exists  not  only  in 
the  line  of  manufacture  covering  shoes,  but  in  nearly  every  other 
that  can  be  mentioned. 


CHAPTER   III 

CLEARNESS   IN   SENTENCES    (Through  Coherence) 

Coherence  in  the  Sentence 

Coherence  is  equally  as  important  as  unity  in  secur- 
ing clear  sentences.  It  demands  that  the  exact  relation 
of  the  words  that  make  up  the  sentence  shall  be  shown 
by  their  order,  their  construction,  and  their  connection. 
Unless  this  principle  is  observed,  obscurity  and  ambigu- 
ity are  likely  to  result. 

Five  ways  in  which  the  principle  of  coherence  is 
commonly  violated  with  resulting  lack  of  clearness 
are: 

1  By  illogical  order; 

2  By  unnecessary  changes  of  construction; 

3  By  lack  of  agreement  between  subject  and  predi- 
cate; 

4  By  faulty  reference  of  pronouns  and  participles; 

5  By  inexact  punctuation. 

Order  of  Words 

The  most  essential  rule  of  order  is  that  grammatically 
related  words  should  be  ais  close  together  as  possible. 

Example:  There  should  be  no  possible  doubt  as  to 
the  position  and  relation  of  a  modifier  in 
the  reader's  mind. 

Better:  There  should  be  no  possible  doubt  in  the 
reader's  mind  as  to  the  position  and  rela- 
tion of  a  modifier. 

24 


Clearness  in  Sentences  25 

Adverbial  modifiers,  such  SiS only  smdalone,  are  frequent 
causes  of  difiiculty.  Such  modifiers  should,  if  possible, 
be  placed  next  to  the  words  they  logically  modify. 

Example:   These  prizes  are  only  given  to  subscribers. 
Improved:  These  prizes  are  given  to  subscribers  only. 

Exercises 

Make  the  following  sentences  clearer  by  keeping  the 
related  words  together: 

1  Why  will  you  lose  your  chance  to  have  these  books  at  your  side 
to  show  you  how  to  write  any  kind  of  business  letters  by  delay? 

2  The  letter  heads  received  contrary  to  our  order  were  not  bundled 
in  100  sheets. 

3  Your  letter  of  Jan.  20  has  been  given  to  me,  a  student  taking  the 
course  in  business  English  for  reply  by  the  secretary  of  this 
commercial  school. 

4  I  am  willing  to  leave  the  consideration  of  these  matters  to  others 
for  which  I  have  no  time. 

5  We  have  only  considered  two  of  the  many  selling  points  of  the 
article. 

6  Every  soap  is  not  good  for  washing  woolen  blankets. 

7  Drop  the  little  tablet  you  will  find  enclosed  in  a  pint  of  water. 

8  Do  not  write  without  further  direction  to  Jones  and  Company. 

9  All  hosiery  is  not  guaranteed  for  six  months. 

10  These  are  the  suits  advertised  for  ten  dollars  in  the  newspaper. 

Change  of  Construction 

The  point  of  view  and  the  construction  of  the  sen- 
tence should  not  be  changed  unnecessarily.  This  princi- 
ple applies  to  the  subject,  the  voice,  mpde,  and  tense  of 
verbs  and  the  parallel  objects  and  modifiers. 

Do  not  change  the  subject  needlessly: 

Example:  These  goods  were  sold  on  our  usual  terms, 
and  you  should  have  paid  for  them  long 
ago. 


26  Business  English 

Improved:  These  goods  were  sold  to  you  on  our 
usual  terms,  and  should  have  been  paid 
for  long  ago. 

Improved:  You  bought  these  goods  on  our  usual 
terms  and  should  have  paid  for  them 
long  ago. 

Do  not  change  the  voice  of  the  verb  from  active  to 
passive,  or  vice  versa. 

Example:  I  bought  these  goods  and  they  were  paid 
for  by  me. 

Improved:  I  bought  these  goods  and  paid  for  them. 

Ideas  that  are  parallel,  or  similar,  should  be  put  in 
similar  form.  If  one  is  an  adjective,  the  other  should  be; 
if  one  is  an  infinitive,  the  other  should  be;  and  so  on. 

Example:  We  wish  to  impress  upon  you  the  im- 
portance of  paying  your  bills  promptly 
and  to  take  advantage  of  cash  discounts. 

Clearness  is  gained  by  keeping  the  participial  con- 
struction throughout  the  sentence. 

Improved:  We  wish  to  impress  upon  you  the  impor- 
tance of  paying  bills  promptly  and  taking 
advantage  of  cash  discounts. 

The  rule  of  parallel  construction  applies  rigidly  to  cor- 
relative words,  phrases,  and  clauses.  Either  and  or,  not 
only,  and  but  also,  and  the  like,  should  always  be  fol- 
lowed by  the  same  construction. 

Example:  We  must  insist  either  upon  your  returning 
the  goods  or  that  the  bill  be  paid. 

Improved:  We  must  insist  that  you  either  return  the 
goods  or  pay  the  bill. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  27 

Exercises 

Revise  the  following  sentences  for  greater  coherence: 

1  The  manager  suspecting  something  and  in  order  to  prevent  con- 
cealment, ordered  us  all  in. 

2  The  paper  has  been  ordered  and  we  should  have  it  by  next 
week. 

3  It  is  used  as  an  office  building  with  stores  on  the  first  floor,  and 
has  a  theater  on  the  top. 

4  He  has  good  qualifications:  honesty,  fidelity,  courtesy,  and  of 
pleasing  personal  appearance. 

5  We  contend  that  these  shoes  cannot  be  made  better,  stronger, 
nor  to  wear  longer. 

6  The  time  that  was  formerly  devoted  to  pleasure  I  now  use  to 
study. 

7  The  student  is  taught  the  different  methods  essential  to  reach  the 
mind  of  the  person  with  whom  you  have  to  deal. 

8  We  guarantee  each  and  every  part  of  this  flexible  shaft  and  its 
accessories  against  workmanship,  material,  and  to  give  you 
satisfactory  results. 

9  Advantages  to  be  gained  by  this  method  of  financing  your  busi- 
ness are  as  follows:  You  are  enabled  to  increase  your  profits 
through  the  larger  volume  of  business;  economy  in  cost  of  pro- 
duction; saving  money  on  purchases;  the  power  to  make  your 
capital  work  continuously. 

10  While  he  was  demonstrating  his  proposition,  I  noticed  his  fine 
face  and  that  his  clothes  were  neat  but  not  showy. 

Co-ordination  and  Subordination 

The  construction  of  the  sentence  should  also  show  the 
exact  relation  between  the  ideas.  And  and  but  should 
not  be  used  unless  the  ideas  they  connect  are  logically 
equal  or  contrasted.  If  one  idea  is  subordinate  to  an- 
other, it  should  be  connected  with  it  by  a  subordinat- 
ing conjunction  or  by  a  relative  pronoun. 

Incoherent:  Demands  on  us  are  very  pressing  at  this 
time  and  we  must  request  an  early 
remittance. 


28  Business  English 

Improved:  As  demands  on  us  are  very  pressing  at 
this  time,  we  must  request  an  early 
remittance. 

Just  at  this  point  the  student  may  find  valuable  the 
following  list  of  transitional  words.  A  command  of  them 
will  aid  the  writer  in  giving  both  unity  and  variety  to 
sentence  structure. 

{A)   Co-ordinating  Connectives 

1  To  indicate  the  same  line  of  thought: 
and,  besides,  moreover,  further,  likewise. 

2  To  indicate  contrast: 

yet,    nevertheless,   and  yet,   but,  however,   still, 
only,  whereas,  while. 

3  To  indicate  a  choice  or  alternative: 

either  —  or,  neither  —  nor,  or,  nor,  else,  otherwise. 

4  To  indicate  result: 

consequently,  accordingly,  hence,  therefore,  where- 
fore, so,  so  then,  so  that. 

5  To  indicate  source  of  knowledge: 
for. 

(JB)    Subordinating  Connectives 

1  To  indicate  time: 

when,  then,  before,  While,  after,  since,  till,  until, 
as  soon  as,  as,  as  long  as,  whenever,  now  that. 

2  To  indicate  place: 

where,  whence,  whither,  wherever. 
.   3  To  indicate  comparison: 
as,  than. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  29 

4  To  indicate  manner:  , 
as,  as  if,  as  though. 

5  To  indicate  cause: 

because,  for,  as,  since,  seeing  that,  inasmuch  as, 
now  that,  in  that. 

6  To  indicate  condition : 

if,  so,  unless  (=  if  not),  on  condition  that,  in  case 
that,  but  that,  so  that,  say,  let,  suppose,  provided, 
wherever  (=  if  ever). 

7  To  indicate  purpose : 

that,  so  that,  in  order  that,  lest. 

8  To  indicate  result: 
that,  so  that,  but  that. 

9  To  indicate  concession: 

though,  although,  albeit,  however,  whoever,  no 
matter  how,  even  if  (=  though),  notwithstanding. 

Do  not  use  also  as  a  substitute  for  and  in  compound- 
ing sentences. 

Wrong:       We  enclose  a  booklet,  also  send  samples 
under  separate  cover. 

Improved:  We  enclose  a  booklet  and  send  samples 
under  separate  cover. 

Be  sure  that  a  subordinating  conjunction,  especially 
the  conjunction  when,  is  placed  with  the  clause  that  is 
logically  subordinate. 

Wrong:       Prices    were    raised    two    cents    a  gallon 
when  the  demand  fell  off. 

Improved:  When    prices    were    raised    two  cents    a 
gallon  the  demand  fell  off. 


so  Business  English 

Do  not  connect  a  relative  clause  with  its  antecedent 
by  and  or  hut. 

Wrong:       It  is  a  valuable  treatise  and  which  should 
be  in  every  library. 

Improved:  It  is  a  valuable  treatise  which  should  be 
in  every  library. 

Exercises 

Revise  the  following  sentences  for  greater  clearness; 

1  There  are  only  a  few  of  these  suits  left  and  we  are  selling  them  at 
a  great  reduction. 

2  Your  cheek  arrived  four  days  late  and  we  cannot  allow  you  the 
discount. 

3  While  I  gave  you  liberal  credit  terms  I  cannot  act  as  your  banker. 

4  My  father  died,  when  I  came  to  the  city. 

5  I  have  made  a  good  record  and  which  my  references  will  show. 

6  This  is  the  most  complete  volume  published  on  the  subject  and 
competent  authorities  have  repeatedly  said  so. 

7  Our  factory  is  an  airy  and  well  lighted  building  and  which  is  kept 
immaculately  clean. 

8  He  is  a  self-made  man,  and  who  is  proud  of  the  fact. 

9  I  didn't  wish  to  study  law  but  I  wanted  to  please  my  employer 
and  so  I  registered  for  the  course. 

10  The  factory  is  a  fine  stone  building;  also  it  is  covered  with  ivy. 
Agreement 

A  frequent  cause  of  incoherence  and  consequent  ob- 
scurity, is  the  failure  of  the  writer  to  see  that  his  subject 
and  predicate  are  in  agreement.  A  somewhat  similar 
error  is  the  failure  to  have  pronouns  agree  in  number 
with  the  antecedent. 

The  verb  should  agree  with  its  subject  in  person  and 
number.  Avoid  using  a  plural  verb  with  such  words  as 
each,  every  one,  and  the  like,  as  a  subject;  and  avoid  a 
plural  pronoun  in  referring  to  them. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  31 

Wrong:  At  such  a  time  every  one  have  their  own 
obligations  to  meet. 

Every  one  is  singular;  therefore,  the  verb  and  pronoun 
should  be  singular. 

Improved:  At  such  a  time  every  one  has  his  own 
obligations  to  meet. 

Wrong:  Each  of  the  campaigns  referred  to  have 
their  own  peculiar  merits. 

Improved:  Each  of  the  campaigns  referred  to  has  its 
own  peculiar  merits. 

A  collective  noun  has  a  singular  verb  when  it  con- 
veys the  idea  of  unity;  a  plural  verb,  when  it  conveys 
the  idea  of  plurality. 

Examples:  The  army  have  shouldered  their  knap- 
sacks. 
The  army  has  won  a  victory. 

In  a  long  sentence  where  a  singular  subject  is  followed 
by  a  plural  object  or  other  substantive,  be  especially 
careful  not  to  use  a  plural  verb  or  a  plural  pronoun  in  re- 
ferring to  the  subject. 

Wrong:  The  number  of  the  inquiries  that  we  have 
received  and  tabulated  were  not  suffi- 
cient to  warrant  our  continuing  the 
campaign. 

*' Number,"  not  "inquiries,"  is  the  subject  of  the 
sentence. 

Improved:  The  number  of  inquiries  that  we  have 
received  and  tabulated  was  not  sufficient 
to  warrant  our  continuing  the  campaign. 

The  antecedent  of  a  relative  pronoun  should  be  a 
noun  or  a  pronoun  in  the  nominative  or  in  the  objec- 


32  Business  English 

tive  case,  or  a  phrase,  a  clause,  or  a  sentence  used  as 
a  noun. 

Wrong:       We  offer  for  sale  a  man's  house  that  has 
moved. 

Improved:  We  offer  for  sale  the  house  of  a  man  who 
has  moved. 

Exercises 

Point  out  the  errors  in  agreement  in  the  following 
sentences.   Write  the  sentences  correctly. 

1  It  will  not  deprive  any  one  of  rights  that  they  already  possess. 

2  We  consider  it  one  of  the  most  valuable  books  that  has  appeared 
upon  the  subject. 

3  Part  of  the  order  has  been  delivered  but  there  is  still  35,000  letter 
heads  to  be  sent. 

4  The  Public  Service  Company  now  occupy  their  new  office. 

5  Each  of  you  are  invited  to  our  Spring  Opening. 

6  We  say  this  for  the  benefit  of  the  discriminating  users  who  in 
every  instance  is  personally  represented. 

7  His  order,  together  with  those  of  two  friends,  were  received 
to-day. 

8  The  manager  went  to  the  house  of  the  clerk's  mother  who  had 
stolen  the  lace. 

9  Just  as  its  appearance  is  stylish  so  is  its  quality  and  workmanship 
good. 

10  The  student  body  in  large  measure  cast  its  vote  for  John  Henry 
Parker. 

Reference  of  the  Pronoun 

Make  sure  that  the  antecedent  of  the  pronoun  is 
always  perfectly  clear.  Note  the  ambiguity  in  the 
following  sentences: 

Wrong :       He  sent  a  box  of  cheese  and  it  was  made 

of  wood. 
Improved :  He  sent  the  cheese  in  a  wooden  box. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  33 

Wrong:       The   manager  told   his  son   to  take  his 
place  in  the  store. 

Improved:  The  manager  said  to  his  son,  "  Take  your 
place  in  the  store." 

or 
The  manager  said  to  his  son,  "  Take  my 
place  in  the  store." 

In  relative  clauses  ambiguity  of  reference  may  some- 
times be  avoided  by  placing  the  relative  clause  as  near 
as  possible  to  the  noun  it  limits. 

Wrong :       A  grape  vine  had  grown  along  the  fence 
which  was  full  of  grapes. 

The  grammatical  inference  would  be  that  the  ante- 
cedent of  "  which  "  was  fence. 

Improved:  A  grape  vine  which  was  full  of  grapes 
had  grown  along  the  fence. 

"  Which "  should  not  be  used  with  a  clause  or  a 
phrase  as  its  antecedent. 

Wrong :       He  told  us  to  cancel  his  order,  which  we 

did. 
Improved :   We  canceled  his  order  as  he  had  directed. 

or 

When  he  told  us  to  cancel  his  order,  we 

did  so. 

Exercises 

Improve  the  following  sentences  by  making  the  refer- 
ence of  the  pronoun  clear : 

1  Do  not  take  the  life  out  of  your  rugs  by  beating  them.  Let  us  do 
it  in  a  more  scientific  way  with  our  steam  process. 

2  The  new  teacher  was  severe  but  it  did  not  seem  to  make  her 
unjust. 


34  Business  English 

3  At  the  end  of  the  year  I  had  my  machinery  overhauled  to  deter- 
mine whether  any  carbon  had  deposited  on  the  pistons  and 
about  the  walls  of  the  cyUnders  which  occurred  with  other  oils. 

4  We  make  a  specialty  of  one  kind  of  furniture.  We  are  equipped 
to  make  it  as  economically  as  possible.  It  saves  money  for  both 
of  us. 

5  We  take  pleasure  in  sending  you  descriptive  circulars  containing  ex- 
cerpts from  many  press  opinions  of  the  day  that  will  interest  you. 

6  From  the  experience  of  others  you  must  have  been  aided  to  attain 
your  success.   This  is  what  I  am  endeavoring  to  gain. 

7  We  are  urging  you  to  take  out  an  insurance  policy,  which  is  the 
only  wise  thing.    • 

8  The  manager  told  the  advertiser  that  he  was  responsible  for  the 
success  or  the  failure  of  the  campaign. 

9  It  is  a  waste  of  time  to  read  any  but  the  best  books.  They  say 
that  such  corrupt  the  mind. 

10  If  when  you  go  to  the  railroad  station  after  your  shipment  you 
notice  that  it  is  damaged,  ask  the  agent  about  it. 

Relation  of  the  Participle 

As  another  aid  to  clearness,  let  there  be  no  doubt  as  to 
what  word  the  participle  in  the  sentence  modifies.  The 
most  fruitful  source  of  error  in  this  respect  is  the  par- 
ticiple that  begins  the  sentence  but  does  not  modify 
the  subject. 

Incoherent:  Desiring  to  help  the  dealer,  advertise- 
ments have  been  inserted  in  the  local 
papers. 

** Desiring"  evidently  depends  for  its  construction 
upon  some  word  understood.  Clearly  the  sentence 
should  read: 

Improved:  Desiring  to  help  the  dealer,  we  have 
inserted  advertisements  in  local  news- 
papers. 

It  is  always  unsafe  to  place  a  participial  phrase  at  the 
beginning  of  a  sentence,  unless  it  modifies  the  subject. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  S5 

Again,  the  sentence  should  not  be  constructed  so  that 
there  may  be  two  words,  upon  either  of  which  the  par- 
ticiple may  depend.  Here  is  an  example:  "I  saw  your 
friend  Jones  this  morning  when  I  was  in  Boston  walking 
down  Tremont  Street."  "Walking"  may  depend  upon 
"I"  or  "Jones." 

The  absolute  participle  should  be  avoided,  because  it 
does  not  show  the  relation  that  exists  between  the  parti- 
cipial phrase  and  the  independent  clause  of  the  sentence. 
Where  the  context  allows  more  than  one  meaning  to  a 
participial  clause,  the  meaning  of  the  sentence  will  be 
clearer  if  the  participle  is  expanded  into  a  clause  that  ex- 
presses the  exact  relation  of  the  participle  to  the  rest  of 
the  sentence,  be  that  relation  temporal,  causal,  hypo- 
thetical, or  any  other.  "My  father  having  died,  I  came 
to  the  city,"  may  mean  "Because  my  father  died  I  came 
to  the  city"  or  "After  my  father  died  I  came  to  the 
city." 

Exercises 

By  relating  the  participle  to  the  word  it  modifies,  or 
by  expanding  the  participle  into  a  clause,  make  the  fol- 
lowing sentences  clearer: 

1  The  letterheads  were,  however,  not  bundled  in  lots  of  100,  mak- 
ing it  quite  a  task  for  me  to  count  and  bundle  them  myself. 

2  Divided  up  into  sections,  you  can  quickly  turn  to  any  subject 
that  you  are  particularly  interested  in. 

3  The  season  being  late,  we  are  selling  our  overcoats  at  half  price. 

4  Coming  into  the  store  on  a  dark  day,  it  seems  very  gloomy. 

5  The  building  having  been  remodeled  and  enlarged,  we  are  now 
ready  to  do  business  on  an  increased  scale. 

6  Using  only  the  finest  grade  of  cotton,  naturally  the  hosiery  is  of 
high  class. 

7  Working  by  day,  and  studying  by  night,  there  is  little  time  for  me 
to  get  into  mischief. 


36  Business  English 

8  Returning  to  the  subject  with  which  we  started,  a  word  or  two 
more  may  be  added. 

9  Steadily  pursuing  your  course,  the  village  will  be  reached  in  two 
hours. 

10  The  sales  increasing  every  day,  yet  the  manager  was  not  satisfied. 
Punctuation  as  an  Aid  to  Coherence 

Punctuation  often  helps  to  secure  coherence,  hence 
clearness,  by  showing  the  relation  of  different  word 
groups  to  one  another.  The  omission  of  a  comma  may 
cause  misunderstanding  and  loss.  If  it  does,  the  writer 
is  responsible  for  the  loss.  Punctuation,  however,  should 
not  be  used  unnecessarily.  Each  mark  should  have  a  real 
purpose  in  separating  groups  of  words  and  showing  their 
relationship. 

The  comma  (,)  indicates  the  smallest  degree  of  sepa- 
ration between  words  and  word  groups  in  the  sentence. 

Commas  are  required  to  separate  the  members  of  a 
series  of  parallel  words  or  short  phrases,  unless  all  the 
connectives  are  expressed. 

Example:  We  have  all  kinds  of  omelets:  plain,  ham, 
jelly,  onion,  tomato,  and  cheese. 

Note  —  If  the  comma  before  the  and  were  omitted  it  might  be 
thought  that  "tomato  and  cheese"  formed  one  kind  of 
omelet. 

Commas  are  required  to  set  off  parenthetical  or  ex- 
planatory words  and  phrases,  and,  in  fact,  any  short 
word  group  that  might  be  omitted  without  destroying 
the  grammatical  completeness  of  the  sentence. 

Example:  His   bill,   though  long   overdue,  has   not 
been  paid. 

Commas  are  required  to  separate  clauses  that  are 
simple,  and  only  moderately  long,  and  that  have  some 
expressed  connective. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  37 

Example:  You  cannot  secure  better  quality,  even  if 
you  pay  more  money. 

The  semicolon  ( ;)  marks  a  wider  degree  of  separation 
than  the  comma.  Ordinarily,  it  is  used  to  separate 
clauses  that  are  long  and  complex,  or  that  are  loosely 
connected. 

The  semicolon  is  usually  required  between  clauses  con- 
nected by  such  words  as  nevertheless,  yet,  however,  there- 
fore, hence,  then,  and  the  like. 

Example:  The  Blitz  Traveling  Typewriter  is  made 
of  aluminum;  therefore  it  is  very  light. 

The  semicolon  is  required  between  clauses  connected 
by  and  or  but,  if  the  clauses  are  long  and  contain  commas. 

Example:  If  properly  advertised,  this  machine  can  be 
placed  in  every  bank  in  the  country,  and 
in  many  large  corporations  and  depart- 
ment stores;  and  some  smaller  retailers 
will  also  buy  it. 

The  semicolon  is  required  to  separate  clauses  when 
their  relation  is  close  but  no  connective  is  expressed. 

Example:  No  time  like  the  present;  no  present  like 
the  time. 

The  colon  (:)  is  the  mark  of  equality.  It  is  used  to 
separate  clauses  that  are  approximately  equivalent  and 
have  no  expressed  connective. 

Example:  This  dictionary  is  a  bargain:  you  will  not 
find  its  equal  at  the  price. 

Quotation  marks  ("  ")  are  used  at  the  beginning  and 
end  of  every  quotation. 

The  dash  ( — )  indicates  a  break  in  the  thought  or  in 
the  logical  construction  of  the  sentence. 


38  Business  English 

Exercises 

Punctuate  the  following  sentences  to  make  the  mean- 
ing clearer: 

1  Every  little  girl  who  has  tasted  this  candy  says  I  like  Park  and 
Tilford's  Mother. 

2  It  is  a  good  hat  if  it  bears  the  name  Fox  it  may  not  be  a  good  hat 
if  it  does  not  bear  this  name. 

3  You  have  failed  to  reply  to  our  letters  yet  we  hope  and  believe 
it  has  been  due  merely  to  an  oversight. 

4  The  color  combinations  are  red  and  black  green  and  blue  gray 
and  brown  and  purple  and  white. 

5  It's  a  Fownes  that's  all  you  need  to  know  about  a  glove. 

6  We  are  not  in  the  market  when  we  are  we  will  notify  you. 

7  We  know  you  are  interested  in  reducing  your  costs  therefore  we 
are  sending  you  our  latest  booklet. 

8  The  problems  before  us  are  two  how  large  shall  the  advertising 
appropriation  be  how  shall  it  be  proportioned. 

9  The  Postum  slogan  There's  a  Reason  acquires  a  new  significance 
on  the  end  of  an  ad  which  reads  There's  one  food  that  will 
not  advance  in  price  a  food  Europe  is  now  calling  for  Grape- 
nuts. 

10  All  the  best  things  best  clothes  best  automobiles  best  paper  com- 
mand instant  attention. 

General  Exercises  for  Clearness 

Revise  the  following  sentences  for  clearness  by  mak- 
ing them  unified  and  coherent: 

1  American  tonnage  is  extremely  hard  to  get,  which  on  account 
of  the  war  is  preferred. 

2  At  his  oflace  I  met  several  of  his  partners  whom  I  had  seen  before 
but  did  not  know  their  names. 

3  Answering  your  letter  of  October  2,  the  arrangement  was  made 
with  the.  railroad  whose  bill  of  lading  we  hold. 

4  By  all  means  make  your  plans  to  go  to  California  now,  and  by  the 
Rock  Island  lines.  This  means  low  altitude  and  safety.  It  means 
comfort  and  service. 

5  Try  this  cure  once  and  you  will  never  use  another. 


Clearness  in  Sentences  39 

6  Perhaps  one  of  the  finest  but  least  conspicuous  in  his  life  of 
merchants  was  B.  Altnian. 

7  In  taking  this  practical  evening  course,  I  am  sure  you  will  notice 
a  big  improvement  in  my  work  which  means  increased  efficiency 
to  you. 

8  Enough  has  been  said  to  show  how  easily  the  machine  operates, 
and  that  it  is  economical  in  its  use  of  fuel. 

9  Being  baked  for  hours  in  a  slow  oven,  we  guarantee  that  the 
beans  are  digestible. 

10  This  varnish  will  not  turn  white  in  water  which  I  can  prove. 

11  The  students  have  formed  an  advertising  club  who  intend  to  go 
into  that  work. 

12  Our  prices  are  lower  than  any  store  in  town. 

13  The  room  to  be  decorated  is  12  feet  high,  14  feet  wide,  and  has  a 
length  of  twenty  feet. 

14  The  clothes  being  soaked  over  night,  the  washing  is  only  a  matter 
of  an  hour  or  so. 

15  I  told  him  to  write  to  me  at  once  and  that  he  should  inclose  his 
report. 

16  The  prices  being  so  unusually  low,  we  expect  to  dispose  of  the 
entire  stock  within  a  few  days. 

17  Settled  upon  one  of  these  beautiful  farms,  you  will  appreciate  the 
advantages  of  which  I  have  told  you. 

18  The  manufacturer  wishes  to  protect  his  own  interest  and  besides, 
some  of  his  employees  might  not  hesitate  to  reveal  the  secret 
process. 

19  Not  only  should  you  consider  the  appearance  of  the  article  but 
also  its  usefulness. 

20  You  did  not  write  clearly  and  so  we  had  to  guess  the  meaning  of 
your  letter. 


CHAPTER  IV 

CORRECTNESS   IN   SENTENCE   STRUCTURE 

The  Reasons  for  Correctness 

Correctness  is  chiefly  valuable  as  an  aid  to  clear- 
ness. For  that  reason  the  two  preceding  chapters  have 
included  many  principles  of  sentence-structure  that 
might  properly  belong  in  this  one.  There  still  remain, 
however,  a  number  of  principles  of  grammar  and  good 
use  that  are  to  be  observed,  because  their  violation 
would  give  a  bad  impression. 

"I  has  received  your  letter"  is  not  less  understand- 
able than  "I  have  received  your  letter,"  but  it  is  avoided 
by  every  careful  writer.  It  would  distract  the  attention 
of  the  reader  from  the  message  and  make  him  feel 
contempt  for  the  writer. 

It  is  always  safest  to  avoid  any  construction  that  is  not 
recognized  as  correct.  Even  though  it  does  not  result  in 
lack  of  clearness,  it  may  be  noticed  by  the  reader  and 
harm  the  chance  of  a  favorable  response.  It  almost  al- 
ways causes  awkwardness  and  clumsiness  of  expression. 

Usage  and  Grammar 

It  should  be  remembered  that  correctness  means  con- 
formity to  good  use;  that  is,  conformity  to  the  practice 
of  the  majority  of  good  writers  and  speakers.  Gram- 
matical rules  are  derived  from  usage;  not  usage  from 
grammatical  rules.  And  these  rules  are  not  fixed:  they 
are  constantly  changing.   It  is  only  in  a  dead  language 

40 


Correctness  in  Sentence  Structure  41 

like  Latin  that  the  rules  of  syntax  are  fixed  forever. 
English  is  a  living,  growing  language. 

There  are  many  good  words  in  our  present  vocab- 
ulary, such  as  chunk,  mob,  and  scrimmage,  which  our 
great-grandfathers  would  not  have  permitted  themselves 
to  use.  Similarly  there  are  many  correct  word  groups,  or 
idioms,  that  cannot  find  justification  in  the  old  gram- 
matical rules.  The  statement,  ''I  had  rather  be  right 
than  be  President,"  used  to  afford  some  amusement,  for 
there  were  those  who  pointed  out  that  its  author  was 
not  right  in  saying,  "  I  had  rather."  "  I  would  rather,"  is 
required  by  strict  syntax.  Now  we  have  accepted  "I  had 
rather"  because  usage  has  established  its  correctness. 

The  usage  of  English  in  business  is  somewhat  less  se- 
vere than  in  literature.  This  is  natural  in  view  of  the 
fact  that  business  men  are  not,  as  a  rule,  of  high  literary 
attainments.  They  are  satisfied  if  their  messages  are 
clear  and  are  correct  enough  to  pass  unchallenged  by 
their  readers.  The  standard  is  becoming  higher  every 
day,  however,  and  for  all  practical  purposes  the  require- 
ments of  good  use  in  business  English  are  the  same  as 
those  for  literary  English. 

There  is  this  one  important  point  to  be  considered  by 
the  student.  Too  rigid  insistence  upon  grammatical 
rules  that  are  not  uniform  with  present-day  usage  is 
likely  to  defeat  its  own  ends.  A  construction  must  not 
only  ie  correct;  it  must  look  correct.  If  it  calls  atten- 
tion to  itself,  because  of  pedantry,  it  may  distract  the 
reader  from  the  idea  of  the  message,  and  thus  cause  as 
much  harm  as  if  it  were  incorrect. 

The  student,  of  course,  is  not  always  in  a  position  to 
know  what  the  present  usage  of  good  writers  is.  He  is 
compelled  to  rely  upon  the  crystallization  of  usage  as 
found  in  the  dictionary  and  the  grammar.   It  is  safe  to 


42  Business  English 

rely  upon  these.  But  if  a  sentence  that  is  correct  accord- 
ing to  grammatical  rules  sounds  awkward  or  pedantic, 
it  is  best  to  revise  it  so  as  to  avoid  the  danger. 

Correctness,  then,  includes  two  main  considerations: 
first,  usages  that  are  sanctioned  by  good  writers,  al- 
though not  in  accordance  with  grammatical  rules;  sec- 
ond, grammatical  rules  that  must  be  observed  by  the 
writer  of  business  messages. 

Idioms 

A  word  group  that  may  not  be  justified  by  any  gram- 
matical rules  but  is  in  common  usage  may  become  an 
idiom. 

The  following  is  a  list  of  the  more  common  idioms  in 
business : 

and  with  a  finite  verb  instead  of  to  with  the  infinitive, 
after  try,  send,  come,  and  go. 

Right:  Try  and  deliver  this  to-morrow. 
once  in  the  sense  of  if  ever  or  whenever. 

Right:  Once    you   try  them,  you  will  use  them 
always. 

anywhere  else,  for  elsewhere. 

Right:  You  cannot  find  this  quality  anywhere  else. 

as  it  were. 

either,  at  the  end  of  a  sentience. 

Right:  He  will  not  do  it,  either. 

every  other  day. 
every  now  and  then, 
get  rid  of. 
given. 

Right:  Given  these  conditions,  you  will  agree. 


Correctness  in  Sentence  Structure  43 

go  hard  with  one. 

had  better, 

had  rather. 

hard  put  to  it. 

in  this  connection. 

let  alone  and  much  less,  as  connectives. 

let  him  alone. 

many  a. 

nothing  is  better. 

of  mine,  of  yours,  of  his,  of  theirs. 

Right:  He  is  a  good  friend  of  mine. 
over  in  the  sense  of  more  than. 

Right:  It  will  cost  over  fifty  dollars. 
Note.  —  Above  is  not  correctly  used  in  this  sense. 

since  for  ago. 

Right:  He  left  more  than  an  hour  since. 

take  it. 

Right :  You  expect,  I  take  it,  to  send  us  an  order 

under  the  circumstances, 
up  with  such  verbs  as  eat. 

Right:  It  will  not  eat  up  your  profits. 

me,  you,  him,  them  without  the  preposition  to  with  such 
verbs  as  send,  write,  give. 

Right:  Send  me  two  dozen  boxes. 
Plural  verbs  with  none. 

Right :  none  of  us  are  going. 
Plural  verbs  with  kind. 

Right :  people  of  the  kind  that  are  found  there. 


44  Business  English 

Verb  Forms 

Before  a  verbal  noun  (some  part  of  a  verb  used  as  a 
noun)  use  the  possessive,  not  the  objective  case. 

Wrong:  The  City  Council  objected  to  him  re- 
ceiving so  large  a  salary. 

Here  "receiving"  is  a  verbal  noun,  the  object  of  the 
preposition  *'to."  Its  modifier  should  be  in  the  posses- 
sive case,  "his,"  not  "him." 

Right:  The  City  Council  objected  to  his  receiv- 

ing so  large  a  salary. 

Parts  of  the  verb  to  be  are  followed  by  the  same 
case  as  precedes  them. 

Examples:  "It  is  /."  "  It "  is  nominative.  Therefore, 
the  pronoun  referring  to  it  should  be 
nominative  also. 

"I  knew  it  to  be  him,''  "  It "  is  objective. 
Therefore,  the  pronoun  referring  to  it  is 
also  objective. 

Nqte.  —  The  subject  of  an  infinitive  is  always  in  the  objective  case. 
Comparison 

Avoid  using  a  double  comparative  or  superlative,  and 
avoid  using  the  superlative  where  only  two  are  compared. 

Wrong:        This  is  the  most  intensest  red  you  can  find. 
Right:  This  is  the  most  intense  red  you  can  find. 

Wrong:        He  was  the  eldest  of  the  two  sons. 
Right:  He  was  the  elder  of  the  two  sons. 

Note.  —  Although  it  is  illogical  to  use  a  comparative  or  superla- 
tive with  such  adjectives  as  complete,  square,  true,  per- 
fect, and  the  like,  usage  has  justified  the  practice.  Thus 
we  say :  The  Star  Company  has  the  most  perfect  sales 
organization  in  the  field. 


Correctness  in  Sentence  Structure  45 

Split  Infinitive 

Avoid  placing  an  adverb  or  other  word  between  the 
infinitive  mode  and  its  sign.  This  error  is  commonly 
called  *'the  split  infinitive." 

Example  of  split  infinitive:  I  wish  you  to  carefully 

consider  this  proposition. 
Better:   I  wish  you  to  consider  this  proposition  care- 

fuUy. 
Note.  —  The  split  infinitive  is  sometimes  allowable  when  its 

avoidance  would  cause  great  awkwardness. 

Possessives 

Do  not  use  the  possessive  case  of  a  noun  to  indicate 
the  object  of  an  action.  Use  an  of  phrase. 

Wrong:  Bolton's  discharge  was  a  complete  surprise. 
Right:    The  discharge  of  Bolton  was  a  complete  sur- 
prise. 

Avoid  using  the  neuter  possessive.  To  say  "the  top 
of  the  building"  rather  than  "the  building's  top"  is  not 
only  better  English  but  also  more  euphonious. 

Sequence  of  Tenses 

The  tenses  of  the  same  sentence  should  be  consistent, 
and  in  case  of  sequence,  logical. 

Wrong:  You  would  not  try  to  do  a  thing  one  way,  if 
you  know  you  can  reach  the  same  goal  in 
another  way  with  less  effort  and  expense. 

"Would"  is  past  tense;  therefore  the  verb  following 
should  be  "knew"  instead  of  "know."  Similarly  "can" 
should  be  "could." 

Right:  You  would  not  try  to  do  a  thing  one  way,  if  you 
knew  you  could  reach  the  same  goal  in  another 
way  with  less  effort  and  expense. 


46  Business  English 

Note.  —  Present  facts  and  unchangeable  truths  are  expressed  in 
the  present  tense,  regardless  of  the  tense  of  the  principal 
verb. 

Right:  He  learned  only  yesterday  that  Chicago  is 
not  the  capital  of  Illinois. 

Adjectives  and  Adverbs 

Avoid  using  an  adjective  for  an  adverb,  or  an  adverb 
for  an  adjective. 

Wrong:  Sales  testify  more  eloquent  than  words  to  the 
quality  of  our  goods. 

Say  rather  "more  eloquently  than  words,"  since  only 
the  adverb  can  modify  the  verb  "testify." 

Wrong:  When  the  vegetables  are  exposed  to  the  dust 
of  the  street  they  look  badly. 

In  this  case  a  pronoun  "they"  is  qualified;  hence  the 
adjective  "bad"  should  be  used,  —  "they  look  bad." 

With  such  verbs  as  look,  seem,  sound,  smell,  taste,  and 
feel,  an  adjective  is  used  to  describe  the  condition  of  the 
subject;  an  adverb  can  only  be  used  to  qualify  the  action. 

Right:  He  looked  strong. 

Right:  He  looked  carelessly  about  the  room. 

Wrong:  The  music  sounds  delightfully. 

Right:  The  music  sounds  delightful. 

Wrong:  I  feel  badly. 

Right:  I  feel  bad. 

Double  Negative 

Avoid  the  double  negative. 

Wrong:  We  never  sell  to  no  one  on  the  install- 
ment plan. 


Correctness  in  Sentence  Structure  47 

Right:       We  never  sell  to  anyone  on  the  install- 
ment plan. 

Avoid  using  such  adverbs  as  hardly,  only,  scarcely, 
and  but  (in  the  sense  of  only)  with  a  negative. 

Wrong:      They  couldn't  hardly  let  us  have  these 
two  cases. 

Right:        They  could  hardly  let  us  have  these  two 
cases. 

Exercises 

•    Point  out  the  errors  in  the  following  sentences  and 
correct  them. 

1  The  goods  looked  so  badly  we  could  not  sell  them. 

2  It  is  difficult  to  readily  distinguish  between  all  wool  and  part 
wool. 

3  This  lot  of  paper  will  not  be  of  no  use  to  us  after  October  30,  and 
we  would  cancel  the  order  if  it  is  not  delivered  at  once. 

4  Who  do  you  think  to  be  the  loser  by  this  method  of  procedure? 

5  The  popular  clerk's  dismissal  caused  some  comment. 

6  The  whole  success  of  the  venture  depends  upon  you  doing  as  we 
have  suggested. 

7  You  cannot  but  fail  to  see  the  advantage  of  this. 

8  We  invite  you  to  again  favor  us  with  your  patronage. 

9  I  assure  you  this  is  the  most  desirable  garment  of  the  two. 

10  Sales  are  reasonable  easy  to  make  when  the  salesman  has  a  com- 
plete knowledge  of  the  commodity  he  is  to  sell. 

11  We  mean  to  so  satisfy  you  that  you  will  continue  to  trade  with 
us. 

12  The  stockholders  did  not  approve  of  the  management  raising  the 
wages  of  the  workmen. 

13  Every  advertising  campaign,  no  matter  how  successful,  have 
their  weak  points. 

14  I  consider  the  way  you  handled  these  sales  one  of  the  best  links  in 
helping  me  to  successfully  dispose  of  this  tremendous  amount  of 
property. 


48  Business  English 

15  If  any  one  wishes  to  interview  me,  let  them  call  after  three 
o'clock. 

16  There  are  two  teachers,  prosperity  and  adversity;  the  former  is 
great,  but  the  latter  is  the  greatest. 

17  In  order  to  best  handle  our  great  volume  of  business  we  set  aside 
a  special  day  for  receiving  payments. 

18  You  can  count  on  me  being  a  booster  for  Emery  Oil. 

19  The  increase  in  sales  was  due  to  him  demonstrating  the  article  so 
good. 

20  This  is  only  a  sample  of  the  many  beautiful  fabrics  that  is  on  sale 
to-morrow. 

21  We  trust  that  the  matter  has  been  adjusted  satisfactory. 

22  I  hoped  you  will  agree  with  me  that  advertising  was  a  matter  of 
good  business  policy. 

23  You  could  hardly  make  a  mistake  if  any  one  of  these  patterns 
are  chosen. 

24  What  music  could  sound  more  beautifully  than  a  song  by  Caruso 
on  the  Victrola. 

25  Success  in  the  position  depends  upon  the  applicant  being  a  rapid 
stenographer. 


CHAPTER  V 
CORRECTNESS   OF  DICTION 

As  has  been  emphasized  in  the  previous  chapters,  the 
aim  of  business  Enghsh  should  be  to  economize  the 
reader's  attention  —  to  present  ideas  so  that  they  may 
be  grasped  clearly  and  quickly  with  the  least  expendi- 
ture of  mental  effort.  Clearness  in  sentence  structure 
and  correctness  of  syntax  are  aids  to  economy,  but  no 
less  so  is  the  correct  use  of  words. 

Good  diction  is  the  result  of  clear  and  correct  thinking, 
and  of  unceasing  care  in  the  selection  of  words,  the  sym- 
bols of  ideas.  Use  words  that  are  "present,  reputable,  and 
national. 

Correct  Words 

One  need  not  go  outside  the  English  language  to  find 
words  that  will  adequately  express  his  thoughts.  To 
resort  to  French,  Latin,  and  other  foreign  languages,  is 
both  pedantic  and  affected.  Moreover,  the  use  of  such 
words  often  violates  economy  of  attention,  since  the 
reader,  unfamiliar  with  the  foreign  words,  is  hindered  in 
comprehending  the  message  of  the  writer. 

However  some  foreign  words  are  so  much  a  part  of  the 
language  that  we  hardly  recognize  their  foreign  origin. 
Alias,  alibi,  cafe,  data,  gratis,  depot,  and  the  like,  are  per- 
fectly allowable.  The  case  is  different  with  fin  de  siecle, 
faux  pas,  multum  in  parvo,  sine  qua  non,  recherche, 
chic,  distingue,  and  the  like.   These  should  be  avoided. 

49 


50  Business  English 

If  you  would  use  words  correctly,  bear  in  mind  the  fol- 
lowing rules : 

1.  Avoid  foreign  words  and  expressions  that  have  not 
been  naturalized;  for  example:  "This  offer,  gentlemen, 
is  strictly  entre  nous  J'  It  is  better  to  say:  "This  offer, 
gentlemen,  is  strictly  confidential." 

2.  Avoid  coining  words,  or  using  those  newly  coined. 
The  language  that  contains  words  enough  to  express  the 
ideas  of  writers  and  speakers  of  authority,  is  certainly 
sufficient  for  the  writer  in  business.  It  is  unnecessary  to 
twist  a  word  to  an  unwarranted  meaning,  or  to  coin  a 
word  when  there  is  already  one  in  good  use  to  express 
the  idea.  Search  for  the  right  word,  and  don't  be  content 
until  you  find  it.  That  is  one  way  to  acquire  a  large  and 
efficient  vocabulary. 

Example:  The  course  that  we  offer  is  very  thorough 
and  instructful. 

Correctly  written:  The  course  that  we  offer  is  very 
thorough  and  instructive. 

Vulgarisms  may  be  classed  with  coined  words.  The 
use  of  these  is  especially  undesirable  since  they  show  a 
lack  of  culture  on  the  part  of  the  writer  and  are  not  used 
legitimately  by  any  class.  Under  this  head  are  such 
words  as  gents,  pants,  hike,  hoodoo, 

3.  Avoid  localisms,  words  or  expressions  common  to 
a  restricted  locality.  They  may  be  used  in  rare  cases 
where  the  reader  is  without  a  doubt  one  of  the  class 
who  use  these  localisms.  Every  part  of  the  country  has 
its  special  vocabulary,  although  the  greater  freedom  of 
communication  has  rendered  these  small  peculiarities 
much  less  numerous  and  noticeable.  Such  words  as  tote, 
pesky,  reckon  and  allow  (meaning  to  think)  are  localisms. 


Correctness  of  Diction  51 

Example:    I  reckon  you  know  something  about  these 

properties,  but  not  so  much  as  I  can  tell 

you. 
Corrected:  I  presume  you   know   something   about 

these  properties,  but  not  so  much  as  I  can 

tell  you. 

4.  Likewise  avoid  the  use  of  class  or  technical  words, 
unless  you  are  writing  to  a  member  of  the  class  or  tech- 
nical group  who  use  these  words.  Adaptation  to  the 
reader  is  of  first  importance.  If  he*  is  sure  to  understand 
technical  words,  they  may  be  used;  otherwise  not. 

Correct  Use 

Words  should  not  only  be  correct;  they  should  be 
correctly  used.  There  are  many  common  errors  in  word 
use  which  should  be  carefully  avoided.  Usually  they  are 
due  to  similarities  in  sound  or  sense. 

Shall  and  Will 

Of  all  confusions  none  is  more  common  than  that  be- 
tween shall  and  will.  This  matter  is  so  important  that 
it  is  worth  giving  in  detail  here.  The  future  form  of  the 
verb  to  he  is  used  as  an  auxiliary  to  express  futurity  of 
action  in  the  following  ways : 

I  shall  go  We  shall  go 

You  will  go,  You  will  go 

He  will  go  They  will  go 

These  same  forms  in  the  second  and  third  persons, 
when  stressed  or  emphasized,  express  the  volition  or  in- 
tention of  the  subject. 

Examples:  You  will  go,  I  presume,  in  spite  of  the 
weather. 

He  will  go  in  spite  of  all  objections  of  his 
family. 


52  Business  English 

The  volition  of  the  speaker  is  expressed  by  the  follow- 
ing forms: 

I  will  go  We  will  go 

You  shall  go  You  shall  go 

He  shall  go  They  shall  go 

When  used  in  the  second  and  third  persons,  these 
forms  may  be  taken  either  as  commands  or  predictions. 

The  forms  should  and  would  are  governed  by  exactly 
the  same  considerations.  It  is  apparent  from  the  above 
that  the  frequently  used  expressions  —  I  will  he  glad  — 
we  would  like  —  and  similar  forms,  are  absurd.  It  is 
hardly  possible  to  express  volition  in  regard  to  feelings 
like  these. 

In  asking  questions  the  auxiliary  will  or  shall  should 
be  used,  according  to  the  answer  that  is  expected.  For 
example : 

Will  you  lend  me  five  dollars?   (I  will) 

Shall  you  be  present  at  the  meeting  to-night?  (I  shall) 

Shall  I  forward  your  mail?   (You  shall) 

It  is  to  be  noted  that  will  is  never  used  in  a  question 
in  the  first  person.  "Will  I  go?"  is  absurd,  because 
the  speaker  knows  better  than  anyone  else  his  own 
wishes  in  the  matter. 

In  dependent  clauses,  as  a  rule,  shall  is  used  to  ex- 
press futurity  in  all  persons  and  will  to  express  volition. 
If  the  subjects  of  the  two  clauses  are  different,  the  form 
used  in  the  dependent  clause  is  the  same  as  would  be  used 
if  the  clause  were  independent. 

Would  is  sometimes  used  to  express  a  customary  or 
habitual  action  in  the  past. 

Example:  The  mechanicians  would  carefully  test 
every  part  of  the  machine  before  it  was  assembled. 


Correctness  of  Diction  53 

Would  is  also  used  to  express  a  wish. 

Right:  Would  that  I  could  assist  you  in  this  matter. 

In  all  cases  of  doubt,  courtesy  and  good  sense  can  be 
depended  on  to  suggest  the  right  word.  It  frequently 
happens  that  in  giving  a  command  the  courteous  form 
''You  will  report  for  duty  at  one  o'clock"  is  preferred 
to  the  command,  ''y^u  shall  report."  This  is  invaria- 
bly the  case  in  army  use,  where  the  speaker's  control  is 
absolute. 

Exercises 

Use  shall  or  will,  would  or  should  in  the  following  sen- 
tences and  give  the  reason. 

1  I  need  my  suit.  I  have  it  by  Wednesday? 

2  We like  to^t^ow  \^ie^er  you  are  readx  to  take  up 

the  course,  or     j ]^^yV^ yQuJS?5a(iyTo  (^so  soon. 

3  you  oegOin^  honr^^^Seven  o'clock.^  I . 

4  If  you send  us  word,  we gladly  send  a 

man  to  measure  your  windows  or  your  rooms. 

5  I like  to  send  you  information  regarding  the  Equi- 
table Standard  Policies. 

6  If  you  defer  taking  out  a  policy  when  you ,  then  per- 
haps you  cannot  when  you . 

7  You report  at  headquarters  without  further  delay. 

8  Unless  you  can  convince  me  that  future  orders be 

delivered  on  the  day  promised,  I be  compelled  to 

place  my  orders  elsewhere. 

9  I be  writing  to  the  office  to-night  and 

send  in  your  order  at  the  same  time. 

10  If  the  matter  is  not  settled  before  then,  I be  glad  to 

take  it  up  with  you. 

Words  Commonly  Misused 

A  list  of  words  that  pretended  to  give  all  the  misuses 
found  in  business  letters  would  require  a  volume  by  it- 


54/  Business  English 

self.  There  are  certain  ones,  however,  which  experience 
has  shown  to  occur  more  frequently  than  others,  and 
the  most  common  of  these  may  profitably  be  given  here. 

Ability  —  Capacity 

A  man  has  capacity  to  receive  knowledge,  and 
ability  to  use  it. 

Accept  —  Except 

To  accept  is  to  take,  usually  as  a  gift.  To  except  is 
to  eliminate,  to  cut  out.  ''If  you  will  except  the  last 
clause,  I  will  accept  the  conditions." 

Acceptance  —  Acceptation 

Acceptance  is  the  act  of  accepting;  acceptation  is 
the  accepted  meaning  of  the  word.  ''Your  acceptance 
of  this  offer  puts  you  under  no  obligations."  "What 
is  your  acceptation  of  the  word  'graft'?" 

Access  —  Accession 

Access  means  admittance;  accession,  coming  into 
possession  of  an  office  or  right. 

Accredit  —  Credit 

A  business  man  accredits  a  messenger  by  giving 
him  letters  of  credit  or  credentials.  By  believing  a 
man  we  credit  him. 

Advise  —  Claim  —  Say  —  State 

Advise,  claim,  and  state,  are  most  frequently  mis- 
used in  business  letters. 

Advise  implies  giving  advice.  Even  though  busi- 
ness usage  has  made  it  a  common  substitute  for  say 
and  inform,  it  should  be  used  with  caution. . 

Claim  means  to  demand  as  a  right.  It  is  incorrect 


Correctness  of  Diction  55 

to  say,  "We  claim  that  we  have  produced  the  most 
durable  machine  of  its  kind." 

State  has  the  suggestion  of  careful  attention  to  de- 
tail. 

"We  beg  to  state  that  this  is  untrue  "  is  a  misuse. 
"Let  us  state  our  position  in  this  matter"  is  correct. 

Affect  —  Effect 

To  affect  means  to  influence;  to  effect,  to  accom- 
plish. "You  will  have  to  affect  the  sympathies  of 
your  reader,  before  you  can  effect  a  sale." 

Almost  —  Most 

Almost  should  be  used  as  an  adverb;  most,  as  an 
adjective  or  a  noun.  "Most  all  of  them,"  is  incor- 
rect. Say,  "almost  all  of  them"  or  "most  of  them." 
Most  is  sometimes  used  as  an  adverb  to  form  the 
superlative;  as,  "  most  expensive." 

Alternative  —  Choice 

Alternative  implies  a  choice  between  only  two 
things.  Usage,  however,  has  justified  a  "  third  alter- 
native." 

Among  —  Between 

Among  is  used  in  referring  to  more  than  two  things; 
between,  in  referring  to  two  only. 

Apt  —  Liable  —  Likely 

Apt  indicates  natural  inclination.  Liable  has  the 
suggestion  of  danger  or  obligation.  Likely  indicates 
simply  probability. 

As  —  That 

As  should  never  be  confused  with  that,  "I  don't 
know  as  I  can"  is  incorrect. 


i 


56  Business  English 

As  —  As  —  So  — ^  As 

After  a  negative,  so  should  be  used.  "The  goc^s 
are  not  so  handsome  as  the  sample."  I 

Balance 

Balance  is  a  commercial  term  meaning  difference 
between  two  sides  of  an  account.  Do  not  speak  of 
"the  balance  of  the  goods." 

Bound  —  Determined 

Bound  refers  to  outside  compulsion.  Determined 
indicates  a  decision  made  by  a  person.  Correct :  "You 
are  not  bound  to  pay  the  money  within  six  months." 
"But  I  am  determined  to  do  so," 

Bring  —  Carry  —  Fetch  —  Take 

Bring  suggests  motion  toward  the  speaker. 
Take  suggests  motion  away  from  the  speaker. 
Fetch  suggests  going  away  from  the  speaker  for  a 
thing  and  returning  with  it. 

Carry  suggests  indefinite  motion. 

Co-operate  —  Together 

Together  is  superfluous  after  co-operatCo 

Council  —  Counsel 

A  council  indicates  a  group  of  persons  who  act  as 
advisors.    Counsel  is  advice,  or  a  legal  adviser. 

Credible  —  Creditable 

Credible  means  believable;  creditable  means  worthy 
of  praise. 

Custom  —  Habit 

A  custom  is  an  action  voluntarily  repeated;  a  habit 
is  a  tendency  to  repeat  a  certain  action  without  voli- 
tion. 


Correctness  of  Diction  57 

Definitive  —  Definite 

Definitive  indicates  that  a  thing  is  final  or  conclu- 
sive. "This  is  the  first  definitive  book  on  advertising 
art.  It  will  find  a  definite  place  on  every  business 
man's  desk." 

Directly 

Often  misused  for  as  soon  as;  as,  "Directly  the 
train  stopped  we  alighted." 

Disagree 

Should  generally  be  followed  by  with  instead  of 
from. 

Discovery  —  Invention 

Discovery  is  made  of  a  thing  that  has  been  in  ex- 
istence.  A  new  machine  is  invented. 

Distinct  —  Distinctive 

The  latter  is  the  stronger  word.  If  an  article  has 
distinctive  merit,  the  merit  is  distinct  or  apparent, 
and  it  also  serves  to  distinguish  the  article  from 
others. 

Either  —  Any 

Either  refers  to  one  of  two.  Any  or  anyone  refers 
to  one  of  several. 

Enormity  —  Enormousness 

Enormity  has  reference  to  moral  quality;  enor- 
mousness, to  size.  "He  does  not  realize  the  enormity 
of  his  crime." 

Exceptional  —  Exceptionable 

Exceptionable  means  that  it  is  imperfect,  subject 
to  exceptions  and  corrections.  Exceptional  means 
that  it  is  better  than  the  average. 


58  Business  English 

Expect  —  Suspect  —  Suspicion 

Expect  looks  toward  the  future.  It  is  incorrect  to 
say:  "  We  expect  that  you  have  received  the  goods." 

To  suspect  indicates  distrust.  (The  verb  suspicion 
is  not  in  good  use.) 

Find  —  Locate 

To  locate  means  to  fix  in  a  place  or  to  establish.  In- 
correct: ''I  could  not  locate  you  the  other  day."  Cor- 
rect: *'We  expect  to  locate  our  new  branch  ofiice  in 
Denver." 

Guess 

Too  often  misused  for  think. 

Hanged  —  Hung 

Only  criminals  are  hanged.  Pictures  are  hung. 

Healthy  —  Healthful  —  Wholesome 

A  man  is  likely  to  be  healthy  if  he  lives  in  healthful 
surroundings  and  eats  wholesome  foods. 

Had  Ought 

Ought  is  never  used  with  an  auxiliary.  Correct:  "I 
ought  not  to  have  done  that." 

Hire  —  Lease  —  Let 

To  hire  is  to  obtain  the  use  of  a  thing  for  pay. 
To  let  is  to  allow  the  use  of  it  for  pay. 
To  lease  is  to  let  by  written  contract. 
"I  will  lease  you  the  house  for  $800  a  year,  and  let 
boats  and  automobiles  to  you  by  the  week  or  day." 

Lay  —  Lie 

Lay  is  transitive;  lie,  intransitive.  "Lay  the  book 
on  the  table."    "The  book  lies  on  the  table."    Past 


Correctness  of  Diction  59 

tense: ''He  laid  the  book  on  the  table."  "The  book 
lay  on  the  table." 

Learn  —  Teach 

"If  we  teach  properly  students  will  learn." 

Like  —  As 

Like  should  not  be  used  as  a  conjunction,  despite 
the  popular  songs.   Incorrect:  "Do  like  I  do." 

Majority  —  Plurality 

In  our  political  system  a  candidate  for  olBSce  does 
not  have  a  majority  unless  he  has  more  than  half  of 
all  the  votes  cast;  a  plurality  is  an  excess  over  the 
next  highest. 

Part  —  Portion 

A  portion  is  a  part  allotted  or  assigned. 

Party  —  Person 

Party  is  vulgarly  misused  for  person.  Legal  termin- 
ology admits  it,  but  it  should  be  avoided  in  business 
correspondence. 

Permit  —  Allow 

Words  different  in  application;  allow  signifies  tacit 
agreement  or  assent,  permit  indicates  formal  consent. 

Plentiful  —  Plenty  —  Quite  —  Rather  —  Very 

Plenty  is  a  noun.  Plentiful  is  an  adjective;  the 
others  are  adverbs. 

Quite  is  most  frequently  misused.  It  means  com- 
pletely, not  rather.   "  Quite  some"  is  a  vulgarism. 

Practical  —  Practicable 

A  workable  plan  is  practicable.  Practical  is  the  op- 
posite of  theoretical. 


60  Business  English 

Proposition  —  Proposal 

A  proposition  is  something  to  be  discussed.  A 
proposal  usually  means  an  offer  of  some  kind. 

Real  —  Really 

Real  is  an  adjective.  It  should  not  be  used  as  a 
substitute  for  the  adverb  very.  Incorrect:  "It  is  real 
cheap." 

Same 

Improperly  used  as  a  substitute  for  it  or  they. 
*'Send  me  the  book  and  I  will  return  the  same  to- 
morrow," is  incorrect. 

Seldom  or  never 

Sometimes  miswritten:  Seldom  or  ever. 

Set  —  Sit 

S^/ is  transitive;  5^/,  intransitive.  (See  Lay  and  Lie.) 

Some  —  Somewhat 

Some  is  an  adjective;  it  is  not  interchangeable  with 
the  adverb  somewhat.  Incorrect:  "  It  is  some  heavier 
than  the  old  model." 

Stop  —  Stay 

To  stop  cannot  involve  duration  of  time.  Incorrect: 
"  He  stopped  in  Albany  for  three  days." 

What  —  That 

What  is  frequently  misused  for  that  in  combination 
with  than.  Incorrect:  "This  is  cheaper  than  what 
you  will  find  elsewhere." 


Correctness  of  Diction  61 

Exercises 

Supply  the  proper  word. 

Affect  —  effect  (as  a  verb) 

1  The  reform  was without  aily  loss  of  time. 

2  The  war  did  not business  so  much  as  we  had  ex- 
pected it  would. 

So — as,  as — as 

3  The  new  manager  was  not broad-minded 

his  predecessor. 

4  He  is interested  in  the  welfare  of  the  city 

you  are. 

Most  —  almost 

5  all  of  the  old  employees  have  returned  to  work  after 

the  strike. 

6  The of  the  work  was  done  by  unskilled  labor. 

Custom  —  habit 

7  It  is  our to  decorate  the  house  with  holly  the  day 

before  Christmas. 

8  It  was  his to  smoke  a  cigar  every  evening  after 

dinner. 

Apt  —  likely  —  Hable 

9  A  man  who  smokes  cigarettes  is  not to  be  a  depend- 
able employee. 

10  If  you  sign  the  contract  you  will  be for  the  whole  sum. 

11  Look  about  you  when  you  are  crossing  the  street  or  you  are 
to  be  run  over. 

12  I  do  not  think  it  is to  rain  before  seven  o'clock. 

13  He  is  so  impulsive  that  he  is to  blunder  when  he  is 

talking  to  a  conservative  man. 

Lie  —  lay 

14  If  you  find  a  book on  your  desk,  keep  it  until  I  call 

for  it. 

15  After  he  had the  matter  before  the  committee,  he 

awaited  its  opinion. 


62  Business  English 

Bound  —  determined 

16  The  contractor  was to  complete  the  building  by  the 

first  of  March  or  forfeit  his  commission. 

17  I  am to  pay  every  cent  I  owe  even  though  my  credi- 
tors do  not  expect  me  to. 

Bring  —  fetch  —  carry  —  take 

18  The  fine  carriage  of  the  native  women  is  due  to  the  fact  that  they 
all  burdens  upon  their  heads. 

19  me  what  you  have  in  your  hand. 

20  this  letter  to  the  post  office  at  once. 

21  I  told  him  to  quit  work  at  four  o'clock  and me  a  book 

from  the  library. 

Sit  —  set 

22  He  came  in  with  a  swagger  and down  before  I  asked 

him  to. 

23  The  salesman the  machine  on  the  table  and  began  to 

explain  how  it  was  operated. 

Accept  —  except 

24  The  ofl&ce  will from  the  list  of  eligibles  all  those  pu- 
pils who  have  not  paid  their  tuition. 

25  He the  rebuke,  and  began  to  mend  his  manners. 

Exercises 

Point  out  the  errors  in  the  following  sentences.   Cor- 
rect the  sentences. 

1  As  high  as  twenty -four  direct  sales  have  resulted  from  the  sale  of 
a  single  tea  bob. 

-  2  Come  in  to-morrow  to  see  our  infants'  department  and  bring  the 
kiddies  with  you. 

3  The  refrigerator  is  an  important  function  of  the  house,  and  should 
not  be  classed  with  the  kitchen  table. 

4  Kindly  make  the  earliest  possible  delivery  and  return  this  sheet 
to  us  at  once,  stating  positive  date  of  shipment. 

5  The  problem  that  confronts  the  merchant  is  how  to  provide  ^iver" 
active,  additional  working  capital  without  taking  a  partner,  and- 


Correctness  of  Diction  63 

without  dividing  profits,  and  without  the  worry  of  undependable 
bank  accommodations.  _— — 

6  Kjfidly  ship  these  goods  via  the  Chicago  and  Alton. 

7  The  course  in  EngHsh  in  our  school  is  so  construed  as  to  prepare 
one  to  meet  the  various  demands  of  business. 

^^8  I  am  sending  you  a  right^mart  cha£^to  help  you  with  inventory. 
"^  9  We  assure  the  spring  buyers  that  styles  shown  in  our  rooms  are 
entirely  a  la  niode. 

10  Our  suiting  cloths  are  the  most  nifty  and  swagger  on  the  market. 

11  We  have  no  doubt  that  your  neglect  in  this  case  will  be  immedi- 
ately rectified.      / 

12  We  believe  that  the  significance  of  this  fact  is  jrref utabj[g^;<^ 
^13  The  test  was  supposed  to  be  inescapable.   Every  applicant  was 

subjected  to  it.  .^ 

14  Our  goods  have  proven  to  be  big  profit  makers. 

15  The  balance  of  the  produce  will  be  forwarded  in  the  next  few 
days. 

16  Generally  speaking  the  feminine  portion  of  the  house  enters  in 
very  large  regards  the  sale  of  automobiles. 

17  These  oils  are  sold  with  the  guarantee  of  absolute  satisfaction  or 
returjiable  at  our  expense. 

18  Over  90  per  cent  of  our  advertising  is  keyed  and  we  show  some 
30  per  cent  to  70  per  cent  gain  each  month  more  than  last  year's 
records. 

19  When  you  want  real  eau  de  vie,  buy  this  wine.  It's  the  genuine 
article.  > 

r      r     V  ' 

20  Since  your  orders  are  not  ^large  as  they  have  been,  we  are  writ- 
ing to  know  the  reason.       '^ 


CHAPTER  VI 
FORCE  IN   SENTENCE   STRUCTURE 

Clearness  and  correctness  in  sentence  structure  and 
diction  enable  the  writer's  message  to  be  conveyed  in 
such  a  way  that  it  can  be  quickly  and  easily  grasped. 

Force  in  sentence  structure  and  diction  is  likewise 
necessary,  so  that  the  idea  shall  not  only  reach  the  reader 
but  be  impressed  upon  him  in  such  a  way  as  to  lead  to 
his  response.    It  adds  life  and  vitality  to  the  message. 

Force  in  sentence  structure  depends  largely  upon  the 
proper  application  of  the  principle  of  emphasis.  This 
means  that  the  words  and  word  groups  of  greatest  im- 
portance shall  be  given  greatest  prominence  in  position. 

The  most  important  applications  of  this  principle  are 
the  following: 

1  Unnecessary  words  should  be  omitted; 

2  Unimportant  words  should  not  be  placed  at  the  be- 
ginning or  end  of  the  sentence; 

3  Important  words  should  be  placed,  so  far  as  possi- 
ble, at  the  beginning  or  end  of  the  sentence; 

4  An  important  word  may  be  repeated; 

5  Transposition,  balance  and  suspense  may  be  used; 

6  The  sentence  may  be  climactic. 

Omit  Unnecessary  Words 

Only  a  certain  number  of  words  are  necessary  to  ex- 
press an  idea,  and  any  word  beyond  the  required  number 
is  just  that  much  greater  tax  on  the  reader's  attention. 
Therefore,  to  gain  force  avoid  superfluous  words. 

64 


Force  in  Sentence  Structure  65 

Unemphatic:  Our  store  becomes  of  age  this  year,  and 
we  wish  our  friends  to  celebrate  with  us 
its  twenty-first  birthday. 

Emphatic:  Our  friends  are  invited  to  celebrate  with 
us  the  twenty-first  birthday  of  our  store. 

Exercises 

Make  the  following  sentences  more  forceful  by  ex- 
pressing the  same  idea  in  fewer  words: 

1  On  opening  the  package  of  letterheads,  I  noticed  that  you  did 
not  live  up  to  the  agreement  of  having  them  bundled  in  lots  of 
100. 

2  On  the  whole  I  think  I  may  say  that  the  course  is  a  practical, 
thorough  and  efficient  one. 

3  The  Plank  Flexible  Shaft  units  are  connected  together  by  means 
of  our  patented  mortise  and  tenon  interlock. 

4  There  is  not  one  of  these  hot- water  bottles  that  will  not  last  you 
two  years. 

5  These  materials  are  all  wool,  and  fast  color,  and  will  give  you  the 
best  of  satisfaction. 

6  The  price  of  these  garments  is  so  low  that  any  of  you  can  afford 
one,  they  cost  so  little. 

7  This  sale  is  your  opportunity.  To  you  we  offer  it  as  your  friend. 

8  We  make  our  boasts  to  our  clients  of  how  well  our  plans  for  their 
advertising  have  turned  out. 

9  There  are  not  many  men  who  do  not  want  to  better  their  position 
in  life. 

10  The  stockings  are  called  "Everwear"  because  they  will  wear  a 
long  time  before  there  are  any  holes  in  them. 

Unimportant  Words  should  not  be  Placed  at  the  Beginning  or 
End 

Since  the  beginning  and  end  of  the  sentence  are  the 
most  important  positions,  it  is  clear  that  they  should  not 
be  occupied  by  words  or  word  groups  that  are  relatively 
unimportant.  This  means,  as  a  rule,  that  parenthetical 
and  explanatory  phrases,  unimportant  connectives,  and 


66  Business  English 

prepositions  should  not  be  placed  here.  The  rule  applies 
especially  to  the  end  of  the  sentence,  which  is  more 
important  than  the  beginning. 

Unemphatic:  Moreover,  the  quality  is  so  high  that 
our  customers  are  willing  to  pay  a 
little  more  for  the  increased  satisfac- 
tion in  most  cases. 

Improved:  The  quality,  moreover,  is  so  high  that 
our  customers  are  in  most  cases  willing 
to  pay  a  little  more  for  the  increased 
satisfaction. 

Unemphatic:  The  Palace  Hotel  is  one  that  all  our 
friends  are  advised  to  go  to. 

Improved:  All  our  friends  are  advised  to  go  to  the 
Palace  Hotel. 

Note.  —  It  is  sometimes  advisable  to  end  a  sentence  with  a  prepo- 
sition, provided  its  object  is  a  pronoun  expressed  or 
understood,  or  provided  the  sentence  is  in  the  form  of  a 
question. 

Examples:       That  is  what  we  are  asking  for. 
What  are  you  talking  about? 

To  change  the  order  in  these  cases  would  be  strained 
and  pedantic. 

Exercises 

Make  the  following  sentences  more  forceful  by  placing 
the  unimportant  words  and  word  groups  within  them : 

1  Therefore,  the  customer  should  be  given  first  consideration. 

2  In  my  opinion,  these  values  are  the  greatest  we  have  ever  offered. 

3  However,  the  delay  could  not  be  avoided. 

4  The  credit  of  this  customer  is  good,  and  should  cover  the  amount 
mentioned,  we  believe. 


Force  in  Sentence  Structure  67 

5  A  company  that  cannot  fulfil  its  obligations  is  dead,  to  all  intents 
and  purposes. 

6  We  have  not  yet  been  told  what  price  these  goods  were  to  sell  at. 

7  The  contract  may  not  be  binding  legally  but  it  is  binding  morally, 
at  least. 

8  Consequently  the  usefulness  of  the  proposition  to  us  is  destroyed, 
or  impaired,  at  any  rate. 

9  I  think  when  you  have  considered  the  matter  more  fully  you  will 
agree  with  us  that  the  mistakes  were  not  due  to  any  carelessness 
on  our  part,  in  most  cases. 

10  There  is  no  more  need  of  caution  in  his  case  than  in  that  of  other 
persons  whom  we  are  frequently  associated  with. 

Important  Words  should  be  Placed  at  the  Beginning  and  End 

Unimportant  connectives  and  modifiers  should  not 
occupy  the  beginning  and  end  of  the  sentence.  Force 
will  be  gained  by  arranging  the  sentence  to  get  the 
most  important  words  in  these  important  positions. 
This  principle  is  somewhat  more  difficult  to  observe, 
since  it  is  not  always  possible  to  tell  which  words  ought 
to  be  stressed.  In  general,  the  positive  idea  is  more  im- 
portant than  the  negative.  The  word  you  and  the  in- 
terests of  the  reader  are  usually  more  important  than 
I  and  the  interests  of  the  writer.  The  writer  should 
examine  his  sentence  and  see  whether  he  can  improve 
it.  Rearrangement  sometimes  brings  the  important 
words  to  positions  where  they  will  impress  the  reader 
more  forcefully. 

Unemphatic:  It  is  a  time  for  facts,  not  for  words. 
Improved:       It  is  a  time  not  for  words,  but  for  facts. 

In  the  above  instance  the  idea  itself  suggests  that 
facts  should  be  given  the  important  place.  In  most 
cases  the  writer's  judgment  may  be  relied  upon  to 
choose  the  important  words. 


68  Business  English 

Unemphatic:  A  new  machine,  the  Fox  Duplicator, 
which  will  save  your  time  and  money 
has  just  been  placed  upon  the  market. 

Improved:  The  Fox  Duplicator,  which  has  just 
been  placed  upon  the  market,  will  save 
your  time  and  money. 

Exercises 

Change  the  order  of  the  following  sentences  so  as  to 
place  the  words  you  consider  most  important  at  the  be- 
ginning and  end. 

1  Among  so  many  investments,  it  is  hard  to  be  certain  which  will 
pay  and  which  will  lose. 

2  Among  the  qualities  which  have  made  the  Weston  Engine  famous, 
simplicity  and  strength  may  be  mentioned. 

3  We  want  to  call  your  attention  to  our  promptness  of  service  as  a 
factor  of  no  little  importance. 

4  We  do  not  wish  to  take  up  your  time  with  a  statement  of  proposi- 
tions which  may  interest  you  or  may  not. 

5  If  you  like  the  book  simply  remit  $2  to  us;  or  return  the  book  if 
you  are  dissatisfied. 

6  Every  stove  that  we  send  from  our  factory  is  as  good  as  it  is  repre- 
sented to  be  at  least. 

7  Good  will  advertising  is  the  best  kind  of  advertising  in  the  opinion 
of  some  merchants. 

8  The  six  months'  guarantee  is  responsible  for  the  great  volume  of 
sales  without  a  doubt. 

9  Generally  complaints  are  due  to  real  grievances  or  to  ignorance  of 
business  methods. 

10  A  money-back  guarantee  is  always  convincing  no  matter  how 
small  the  amount. 

Repetition  of  Important  Words 

Sometimes  a  word  may  be  emphasized  by  giving  it  a 
larger  proportion  of  attention  than  the  other  words  of  the 
sentence;  that  is  to  say,  it  may  be  repeated.  This  device 


Force  in  Sentence  Structure  69 

is  only  rarely  useful  because  it  is  somewhat  rhetorical 
and  is  likely  to  appear  forced. 

Unemphatic:  This  glove  is  distinctive  not  merely  in 
fit  and  style,  but  also  in  quality,  work- 
m'anship,  and  fineness  of  details. 

Emphatic:  This  glove  is  distinctive  —  distinctive 
not  merely  in  fit  and  style,  but  dis- 
tinctive in  quality  and  workmanship, 
distinctive  in  fineness  of  details. 

Balanced  and  Periodic  Sentences  and  Transposition 

A  sentence  that  is  not  complete  either  in  construction 
or  in  meaning  until  the  last  word  is  given,  is  called  a  peri- 
odic sentence.  It  is  contrasted  with  the  loose  sentence 
which  may  be  ended  at  one  or  more  points  within  the 
sentence  and  still  convey  a  complete  idea.  The  periodic 
sentence  is  valuable  in  giving  emphasis  because  it  makes 
use  of  the  element  of  suspense.  It  should  be  used  with 
caution,  however,  because  it  is  somewhat  artificial;  and 
used  too  frequently  it  leads  to  a  formality  that  is  not  in 
keeping  with  the  personal  tone  most  business  messages 
should  have. 

In  the  periodic  sentence,  the  subordinate  clause  usu- 
ally precedes  the  principal  clause.  The  cause  precedes 
the  effect. 

Loose  Sentence:  We  are  making  a  special  price  on 
this  line  of  goods  because  a  few 
sizes  are  missing. 

Periodic  Sentence:  Since  a  few  sizes  in  this  line  of 
goods  are  missing  we  are  selling 
the  remainder  at  a  special  price. 

Periodic  Sentence:  Just  as  the  phonograph  has  carried 
the  voice  of  Caruso  into  the  homes 
and  hearts  of  everyone;  just  as 


70  Business  English 

Periodic  Sentence  the  telegraph  has  connected  the 
{continued):  remotest  village  with  all  the 
world's  happenings,  so  Royal  Ser- 
vice has  linked  every  city  and  town 
with  tailorship  and  craft  of  the 
world's  center  of  style. 

The  balanced  sentence  is  divided  into  two  parts,  equal 
in  length  and  importance,  and  similar  in  construction. 
Ordinarily  it  has  two  independent  clauses  placed  in 
contrast  to  each  other. 

Balanced  Sentence:  No    time    like    the    present;  no 
present  like  the  time. 
We  couldn't  improve  the  pow- 
der; so  we  improved  the  box. 

The  balanced  sentence  is  largely  valuable  for  slogans 
because  its  rhythm  impresses  it  upon  the  mind  instantly 
and  makes  it  easily  remembered.  Like  periodic  sentences, 
it  has  the  disadvantage  of  appearing  somewhat  artificial 
and  should  be  used  with  caution. 

Transposition  of  the  normal  order  of  a  sentence  often 
gives  emphasis,  and  consequently  force,  because  it  throws 
stress  upon  a  word  that  ordinarily  would  not  receive  it. 

Normal  Order :  I  came  to  talk  with  you  about  that. 
Transposition :  That  is  what  I  came  to  talk  about. 

Exercises 

By  the  use  of  periodic  or  balanced  constructions  or 
transposition  give  force  to  the  following  sentences : 

1  Our  Protective  Brand  Asphalt  Roofing  is  the  best  prepared  roof- 
ing made>  no  matter  what  our  competitors  say. 

2  The  more  general  the  words  are,  the  picture  is  fainter. 

3  Unscrupulous  persons  will  ruin  us,  if  we  give  a  full  guarantee  and 
let  the  general  public  decide  whether  or  not  we  should  refund  the 
money. 


Force  in  Sentence  Structure  71 

4  You  will  reap  the  benefits  after  our  big  advertising  campaigns 
begin  next  month. 

5  This  type  is  coming  into  general  use  because  of  its  high  quality. 

6  The  keynote  of  the  Bowles  piano  is  "Tone  first;  beauty  after- 
wards." 

7  There  are  no  weak  links  in  Hamilton  chains. 

8  While  he  is  on  the  road  we  encourage  and  boost;  he  gets  his 
criticism  and  education  when  he  comes  home. 

9  The  profits  come  out  of  your  bank  account,  if  you  have  lost  sales 
that  these  books  would  have  enabled  you  to  close. 

10  That  man  has  the  secret  of  success  who  understands  the  spirit  of 
the  age. 

Climax 

The  force  of  a  sentence  may  often  be  increased  by  the 
use  of  climax.  Climax  is  secured  by  arranging  similar 
words,  phrases,  and  clauses  in  an  ascending  series.  This 
series  usually  contains  three  elements,  of  which  the  first 
is  the  shortest  and  weakest,  and  the  last  the  longest  and 
strongest.  The  series  may  be  composed  of  words, 
phrases,  or  clauses. 

Unemphatic:  All  was  lost — reputation,  position,  prop- 
erty. 

Here  there  is  no  climax  and  no  force  because  of  the 
order  of  the  last  three  words.  They  should  be  arranged 
with  the  least  important  first,  and  the  most  important 
last. 

Emphatic:      All  was  lost  —  property,  position,  repu- 
tation. 

Climax  is  particularly  valuable  when  combined  with 
periodic  construction,  as  in  the  case  of  the  sentence 
about  Royal  Service  (on  page  69).  Repetition,  suspense, 
and  climax  often  are  used  together  to  produce  a  forceful 
impression. 


72  Business  English 

The  following  are  other  good  examples  of  climax: 

1  This  auto  truck  will  cut  your  delivery  costs,  develop 
your  business,  broaden  your  range  of  operations, 
and  put  you  on  the  map  as  a  progressive. 

2  Dutch  Boy  Linseed  Oil  forms  a  fine  paint  that 
spreads  well,  gives  with  the  wood,  won't  crack,  and 
keeps  away  damp,  decay,  and  repair  bills. 

3  I  saw  the  things  America  gave  my  father  and 
through  him  gave  me  —  education,  opportunity, 
self-respect,  ambition,  and  the  chance  to  fight  and 
win. 

Exercises 

Make  the  following  sentences  more  forceful  by  the 
use  of  climax: 

/I  The  only  things  we  require  of  our  employees  are  diligence,  loy- 
alty, and  intelligence. 

2  Where  else  will  you  find  this  combination  of  long  service,  low  cost 
and  convenience. 

3  You  will  want  this  set  of  books:  your  humanity  demands  it;  your 
patriotism  demands  it;  your  library  demands  it. 

4  Holeproof  Hosiery  is  the  universal  choice  for  men  who  walk 
much,  for  women  who  want  style  with  more  than  a  few  weeks' 
wear,  for  strenuous  children. 

5  The  R  &  L  automobile  has  a  driving  simplicity  that  appeals  to 
the  most  timid  woman,  speed  exceeding  all  requirements,  and 
remarkably  smooth  running  qualities. 

6  Teaching  a  boy  billiards  means  tempering  his  boyish  arms  with 
confidence  to  hit  the  mark  in  the  business  of  life,  breaking  up  the 
corner  gang,  and  teaching  him  to  love  fair  sport,  home,  and  clean 
companions.  / 

7  As  a  Franklin  owner  you  have  first-ef-alt,  its  freedom  from  trou- 
^      ble,  its  easy  ridinff  luxury,  its  ease  of  handling,  afuLits-^omfofl. 

^  8  He  has  allowed  our  drafts  to  be  protested,  has  refused  to  pay  his 
^       bill,  and  has  disregarded  our  telegrams  and  letters. 

9  It  is  possible  to  talk  with  the  Bell  Telephone  with  people  a  thou- 
sand miles,  a  hundred  miles,  or  a  mile  away,  directly,  instantly, 
at  any  hour  in  the  day  or  night. 


Force  in  Sentence  Structure  73 

Oral  Exercises 

What  is  the  device  for  emphasis  in  the  following  sen- 
tences? 

1  I  will  consider  your  proposition  —  if  you  are  entirely  sincere. 

2  The  buyer  may  refuse  to  adapt  himself  to  the  seller,  then  the 
seller  must  adapt  himself  to  the  buyer. 

3  But  to-day,  with  or  without  reason,  the  selling  of  practically 
everything,  from  goods  on  the  counter  to  steamships  and  loco- 
motives, is  a  direct  or  an  indirect  result  of  solicitation. 

4  Some  day,  he  said,  my  chance  will  come. 

5  It  is  a  strange  desire  to  seek  power  and  to  lose  liberty :  or  to  seek 
power  over  others  and  to  lose  power  over  a  man's  self. 

6  He  had  lost  money,  health  and  honor.  ^ 

7  He  is  well-meaning  but  tactless,  kind-hearted  but  blunt. 

8  Seek  not  proud  riches,  but  such  as  thou  may  est  geiju*tly,  use 
soberly,  distribute  cheerfully,  and  leave  c^j^entedly. 

9  If  you  are^lnterested,  if  you  want  to  know  how  thousands  of 
others  are  turning  their  spare  time  into  cash,  if  you  want  to  know 
how  you  can  do  the  same  thing  —  send  us  a  line. 

10  What  ^tmJbd  you  give  for  a  new  inspiration  —  something  that  will 
send  out  your  salesmen  red-hot  with  enthusiasm,  something  that 
will  bring  dealers  into  line,  something  that  will  bring  the  money 
that  will  make  it  easy  to  carry  the  overhead? 

Written  Exercises 

Make  the  following  sentences  more  emphatic: 

1  When  you  eat  some  of  it  you  always  want  some  more. 

2  There  are  not  many  business  men  who  are  unwilling  to  listen 
when  some  one  is  talking  to  them  and  telling  them  how  they  can 
make  bigger  profits. 

3  He  must  adapt  himself  to  his  prospect  if  he  would  obtain  the 
profit  that  he  is  looking  for. 

4  The  first  paragraph  gets  the  attention  but  we  find  that  interest  is 
aroused  in  the  second  paragraph. 

5  The  writer  of  literary  English  has  for  his  aim  the  amusement  or 
the  instruction  of  his  reader,  while  we  find  in  business  English 
that  the  writer's  sole  aim  is  to  get  profit. 


74  Business  English 

6  The  smallest  part  of  the  letter  is  the  word,  still  we  find  that  the 
word  is  really  just  as  important  as  the  sentence. 

7  The  ladies'  garments  that  we  have  on  sale  now  have  excellent 
material  in  them;  the  workmanship  on  them  is  good;  they  have 
also  good  style. 

8  They  have  been  informed  of  the  danger  they  are  running  most 
certainly. 

9  We  will  not  go  back  on  our  guarantee  for  a  moment. 

10  His  business  difficulties  were  aggravated  by  the  war  to  some 
extent. 

11  Better  to  have  too  much  self-confidence  than  not  to  have  enough. 

12  The  very  subject  under  discussion  now  is  that. 

13  There  are  not  many  men  who  would  give  up  such  an  opportunity 
as  you  are  giving  up  and  for  such  a  trifling  reason. 

14  It  would  be  well  for  you  to  know  how  cotton  is  planted  and  how 
it  grows,  if  you  are  selling  cotton  goods. 

15  You  should  be  able  to  explain  why  one  brand  is  better  than  an- 
other, to  know  qualities,  you  should  learn  to  appraise  values. 

16  That  man  is  unfit  for  the  business  world  who  prides  himself  on 
his  independence,  who  proposes  to  sell  goods  his  way  instead  of 
the  customer's  way,  who  believes  that  he  is  right  and  the  cus- 
tomer wrong,  and  who  is  opposed  to  the  policy  of  the  house  he 
works  for  when  it  is  an  honest  one. 

17  To  say  that  he  has  no  regard  for  business  ethics  is  putting  it  very 
mildly. 

18  How  great  was  our  surprise  to  see  the  changes  that  met  our  eyes 
as  we  went  through  the  factory. 

19  Furthermore  the  agent  told  me  that  the  business  was  booming  in 
spite  of  hard  times. 

20  The  room  was  quite  large,  but  looked  small,  filled  with  so  much 
baggage. 

21  Let  us  hear  from  you  again  if  you  do  not  receive  the  tie  by  the  14th. 

22  Mind  your  own  business,  your  neighbor  can  take  care  of  his  own, 
without  your  help. 


CHAPTER  VII 
FORCE  IN  DICTION 

Force  is  not  a  matter  merely  of  the  arrangement  of 
the  words  in  the  sentence  according  to  the  principle  of 
emphasis,  it  depends  upon  the  choice  of  the  words  them- 
selves. 

The  weakness  of  many  business  messages  lies  in  the 
fact  that  the  words  used  are  strained  and  pretentious  or, 
on  the  other  hand,  are  commonplace,  worn-out,  and 
vague.  Frequently  the  change  in  a  single  word  may 
make  the  difference  between  a  weak,  insipid  communi- 
cation and  a  strong,  vital  appeal. 

To  secure  force  in  diction  the  following  qualities  are 
most  useful. 

1  Simplicity 

2  Concreteness 

3  Originality 

4  Truthfulness 

5  Suggestion 

6  Euphony 

Simplicity  and  Concreteness 

The  best  vocabulary  is  the  one  that  will  enable  its 
possessor  most  effectively  to  express  his  ideas.  Certain 
it  is  that  Anglo-Saxon  words  are  most  valuable,  since 
they  are  simple  and  virile,  and  come  closest  to  our  every- 
day life.  The  mental  pictures  they  call  up  are  most 
vivid  because  they  are  part  of  our  earliest  associations, 

75 


76  Business  English 

and  have  the  advantage  of  long  use.  Hence  to  gain  both 
economy  and  force, 

Use  Anglo-Saxon  words,  because 

1  They  are  the  names  of  earliest  and  dearest  asso- 
ciations :  home,  friend,  father,  mother,  fireside. 

2  They  are  the  names  of  things  familiar  to  earliest 
childhood:  earth,  water,  star,  sun,  cat,  dog,  bed. 

3  They  are  also  short  and  require  less  mental  effort 
to  grasp :  buy,  sell,  dear,  cheap,  high,  low. 

4  They  are  often  imitative  in  character  and,  for  that 
reason,  more  readily  understood:  buzz,  slush, 
whirr,  splash. 

5  Most  important  of  all,  they  are  specific.  Indefi- 
nite thinking  is  always  weak,  confused,  and  diffi- 
cult. "Whenever  any  class  of  thing  is  referred  to 
—  animal,  furniture  —  we  represent  it  to  ourselves 
by  calling  to  mind  individual  members  —  cow, 
chair  —  for  example.  By  so  doing  some  force  is 
expended,  but  if  a  specific  term  is  at  first  employed, 
an  appropriate  image  is  at  once  suggested,  an  econ- 
omy achieved  and  a  more  vivid  impression  pro- 
duced." Therefore,  effective  English  makes  use  of 
simple,  specific  words,  especially  such  as  in  them- 
selves express  action;  i.e.,  slide,  leap,  walk,  fly, 
swim. 

Take,  for  example,  such  a  general  statement  as  the 
following:  *'This  automobile  is  capable  of  varied  speed." 
It  is  weak  and  ineffective,  because  it  is  in  no  sense  pic- 
turesque. How  much  more  vivid  is  this  specific  descrip- 
tion: "The  Chalmers  fairly  floats  up  the  hills  on  high 
gear.  It  can  creep  like  a  snail  through  the  crowd  and 
then  be  off  like  a  greyhound  at  a  touch  of  the  throttle." 

Since,  however,  a  proportion  of  classical  words  aids  in 


Force  in  Diction  77 

giving  dignity  and  polish,  a  business  English  vocabulary 
will  include  both  Anglo-Saxon  and  foreign  derivatives. 
Adaptation  to  the  reader  will  determine  which  is  the 
more  forcible.  When  the  reader  is  an  ordinary  man,  and 
the  things  written  of  touch  upon  the  homely  and  inti- 
mate things  of  life,  the  writer  will  use,  for  the  most  part, 
Anglo-Saxon  words;  but  if  his  reader  is  a  conservative 
old  gentleman,  or  a  professional  man,  he  will  express 
himself  in  the  more  dignified  classical  words.  Adapta- 
tion to  the  reader  is  the  golden  rule. 

Originality 

Avoid  trite  expressions.  When  first  used  they  were 
doubtless  emphatic,  but  by  long  continued  use  they 
have  lost  their  original  force.  Express  the  same  idea  in 
a  new,  fresh  way.  The  following  are  some  of  the  most 
time-honored  of  these  worn-out  expressions: 

Beg  to  acknowledge; 
We  respectfully  request; 

Assuring  you  of  our  best  attention  and  thanking  you 
in  advance  for  your  reply. 

Truthfulness 

Avoid  bombast.  Don't  exaggerate.  Write  simply  and 
truthfully.  A  statement  loses  half  its  force  if  the  reader 
doubts  its  sincerity.   Here  is  an  example: 

When  you  get  this  set  of  books,  look  over  its  lustrous 
pages  aquiver  with  the  life  of  a  mighty  war.  Look  at  its 
sumptuous  silk  and  gold  binding.  Look  at  the  untold 
effort,  sacrifice,  and  wealth  these  magnificent  volumes 
represent  —  then  send  us  your  check. 

The  advertisement  would  be  much  more  effective  if 
the  description  of  the  books  were  simple  and  truthful. 
The  reader  naturally  suspects  such  a  proposition. 


78  Business  English 

Exercises 

Point  out  the  errors  in  these  sentences,  and  correct 
them,  making  the  sentences  simple,  fresh,  and  specific. 

1  Your  education  has  been  in  the  great  school  of  experience,  and 
you  know  how  long,  painful,  and  difficult  of  access  was  that 
avenue  to  power. 

2  We  respectfully  request  that  you  drop  us  a  line  for  our  salesman 
to  call  with  our  spring  samples  for  your  inspection  of  same,  if  you 
are  looking  to  improve  the  quality  of  your  business. 

3  A  gigantic,  a  colossal,  an  unprecedented  purchase  and  sale  of 
thousands  of  yards  of  rich,  magnificent  taffeta  silks  at  33  cents 
on  the  dollar !  Don't  miss  it ! 

4  We  gratefully  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  your  valued  order  of 
Oct.  24  and  in  reply  would  say  that  Taussig's  Elements  of  Eco- 
nomics has  been  forwarded  to  you  by  Adams  Express. 

5  Maternal  devotion  should  urge  you  to  exert  your  utmost  to  pro- 
tect your  child.   Sterilized  milk  will  assist  you. 

6  No  morning  ablution  is  complete  without  our  fragrant  toilet  soap. 

7  From  6  to  9  we  serve  a  sumptuous  collation  for  the  small  sum  of 
75^  per  plate. 

8  The  coffee  smells  good  and  is  equally  agreeable  to  taste. 

9  Hoping  to  hear  from  you  soon,  we  remain,  very  truly  yours. 

10  Have  you  observed  our  auto  truck  passing  along  the  streets  and 
contrasted  it  with  its  competitors  .^^ 

Suggestion 

Another  aid  to  emphasis  is  suggestive  power,  which 
brings  up  in  the  reader's  mind,  vividly  and  completely, 
the  impressions  the  writer  desires  to  give.  It  is  the  knack 
of  implying  a  thought  by  the  use  of  words  that  are  them- 
selves full  of  associations.  Such  words  are  generally 
simple,  specific,  and  familiar.  Mother,  home,  friend^ 
hearth,  and  like  words,  are  alive  with  meaning  for  the 
average  person.  These  also  strike  a  responsive  chord: 

Friends  for  forty  years. 

Have  you  a  little  fairy  in  your  home? 


Force  in  Diction  79 

It  is  not  so  much  the  words  the  writer  uses  as  it  is 
what  the  reader  gets  out  of  them  that  counts.  There- 
fore, make  the  most  of  the  fewest  words;  select  from  the 
thing  described  those  characteristic  elements  which  im- 
ply many  others.  Dutch  Cleanser,  Spotless  Town,  carry 
with  them  a  host  of  cleanly  associations. 

The  suggestion  should  be  not  negative,  but  positive. 
The  associations  called  to  mind  should  be  pleasing,  and 
such  as  bring  the  reader  into  sympathy  with  the  propo- 
sition. For  that  reason  it  is  well  to  avoid  using  words 
that  may  be  ambiguous  in  their  suggestion.  For  in- 
stance, the  word  girl  to  one  person  may  denote  servant; 
to  another,  sweetheart;  and  to  yet  another  merely  the 
idea  of  young  woman.  To  avoid  ambiguity  let  the  sug- 
gestion, then,  be  positive,  agreeable  to  the  reader,  and 
helpful  in  making  the  message  more  clear  and  vivid. 

The  most  powerful  device  of  suggestion  is  figurative 
language.  By  simile,  metaphor,  and  personification, 
ideas  and  images  are  made  more  vivid  through  the  me- 
dium of  comparison.  The  force  of  a  figure,  however,  is 
great  in  proportion  as  the  mental  effort  to  grasp  it  is 
small.  Accordingly,  there  is  greater  economy  in  meta- 
phor and  personification  than  there  is  in  simile,  because 
the  number  of  words  necessary  to  express  it  is  smaller. 
Furthermore,  the  reader  is  pleased  to  see  the  resem- 
blance for  himself. 

The  sole  purpose  of  figurative  language  in  business 
is  to  make  the  message  more  clear,  vivid,  and  forceful 
than  it  would  otherwise  be.  It  follows  then,  that  any 
figure  used  should  be  simple,  apt,  and  near  to  the 
reader's  experience.  He  must  instantly  recognize  the 
comparison  if  it  is  to  come  home  with  force.  The  gum 
advertisement  reading,  "Sweet  as  the  breath  of  a  cow," 
is  wholly  outside  the  experience  of  the  average  gum- 


80  Business  English 

chewing  pubHc.  So  little  does  the  consumer  know  of 
the  peculiar  sweetness  of  the  cow's  breath  that  far 
from  impressing  him  positively  in  favor  of  the  article, 
the  simile  has  a  negative  suggestion. 

In  contrast  with  the  gum  advertisement,  note  how 
positive  and  near  to  the  reader's  experience  are  the  fol- 
lowing: 

1  He  succeeded  in  stopping  the  leaks  in  his  department. 

2  This  Httle  book  goes  to  your  heart  as  straight  as  a  homing  bird. 

3  The  big  limousine  slipped  by  as  silently  as  a  ghost. 

4  Good  ads  neither  take  liberties  nor  put  on  airs. 

5  When  you  have  your  long  row  to  hoe,  whatever  it  may  be,  you  '11 
hoe  the  better  for  the  cheer  of  sunshine  in  every  chapter  of  Her- 
bert Kale. 

6  You  are  buying  not  only  coffee  but  satisfaction. 

7  Putting  a  poor  ad  in  costly  space  is  like  renting  a  peanut  stand  on 
Fifth  Avenue. 

8  They  tried  in  vain  to  bend  the  iron  will  of  the  Chief. 

9  Test  this  book  in  the  acid  of  your  daily  work. 

10  Goods  in  his  store  moved  like  a  rheumatic  turtle. 

Avoid  trite  and  hackneyed  figures.  Instead  of  making 
the  appeal  more  emphatic,  they  tend  to  weaken  it.  How- 
ever effective  the  figure  may  have  been  originally,  be- 
cause it  is  now  worn  out  it  fails  to  be  suggestive  and 
forceful. 

There  is  a  danger,  too,  of  mixing  figures  that  are  in- 
congruous. The  result  is  laughable,  not  effective.  For 
instance: 

1  He  plunged  into  the  whirl  of  politics  and  soon  reached  the  top 
of  the  ladder. 

2  Getting  down  to  bed  rock  upon  quality,  finish,  and  texture  of 
your  letterheads,  is  one  of  the  essentials  in  sending  from  your 
banking  house  that  which,  in  nearly  every  instance,  is  your  per- 
sonal representative. 


Force  in  Diction  81 

3  Striking  the  keynote  upon  the  first  cost  is  another  essential  and  is 
hitting  the  nail  on  the  head  when  reaping  a  saving  in  your  savings 
account. 

The  following  figures  are  suggestive  and  forceful,  and 
vivify  what  might  otherwise  be  commonplace. 

1  The  ad  is  not  only  cheery,  it  is  thoughtful. 

2  This  is  the  happy  land  inhabited  by  Tiffany,  Packard,  and  other 
quality  concerns. 

3  The  letter  does  not  cool  its  heels  in  the  outer  office,  and  conjure 
methods  whereby  it  may  reach  the  chief  within. 

4  It  is  no  small  feat  to  survive  in  this  maelstrom  of  competition. 

5  The  Ad-man  is  near  to  the  pulse  of  business. 

6  His  temper  is  a  stumbling  block  in  the  path  of  advancement. 

7  Among  beginners  there  prevails  a  queer  idea  that  a  trademark  is  a 
sort  of  talisman  which  not  only  averts  disaster  but  insures  success. 

8  It  is  your  business  to  get  mentally  back  of  the  dealer's  counter. 

9  We  are  looking  forward  to  the  fatter  days  that  are  coming. 
10  He  was  unable  to  swing  the  deal. 

Euphony 

"Suggestive  power  in  oral  or  in  written  composition 
appeals  to  the  decision  of  the  ear."  The  choice  of  words, 
and  the  arrangement  of  words  and  syllables  should  be 
euphonious. 

Because  such  an  order  is  more  pleasing  to  the  sensi- 
tive ear,  it  is  on  that  account  more  quickly  and  easily 
grasped;  therefore,  more  economical,  forcible,  and  sug- 
gestive.  To  gain  euphony: 

1  Avoid  repeating  a  prominent  word  or  syllable  ex- 
cept for  emphasis. 

Lacks  Euphony:  In  the  first  place,  we  place  a  wrap- 
per of  wax  paper  on  the  bread  to  pre- 
vent dryness. 

Improved:  To  prevent  dryness  we  wrap    the 

bread  in  wax  paper. 


82  Business  English 

2  Use  euphonious  words  and  arrangement. 

"They  should  last  at  least  as  long  as  guaranteed." 

Because  these  words  are  diflBcult  to  pronounce  in  com- 
bination, attention  is  attracted  to  the  medium  of  thought 
itself.  It  is  both  more  pleasing  to  the  ear  and  more  forci- 
ble to  say, 

"They  should  give  at  least  the  service  guaranteed." 

3  To  make  the  most  of  the  suggestive  power  of  eu- 
phony, let  the  sound  be  an  echo  of  the  sense : 

These  cool,  airy  fabrics  are  delightful  for  summer  wear. 

Sunkist  oranges  are  perfect  golden  globes,  brimming 
with  luscious  juice  and  captivating  flavor. 

After  a  shampooing  with  Packer's,  hair  has  a  softer, 
silkier  look. 

Suggestive  power  is  essential  to  good  business.  Suc- 
cess in  the  use  of  it  depends  chiefly  upon  the  keen  obser- 
vation of  daily  experiences,  and  upon  the  ability  to  use 
them  for  the  purpose  of  illustration.  It  is  developed  by 
wide  and  varied  reading,  and  by  a  close  and  sympa- 
thetic study  of  the  various  types  one  meets  from  day 
to  day.  Live  broadly  and  deeply.  Never  feel  that  any- 
thing you  have  ever  learned  is  too  good  to  contribute  to 
the  science  and  art  of  good  English  in  business. 

General  Exercises  under  Clearness,  Correct- 
ness, Force 

Point  out  the  errors  and  write  the  sentences  more  ef- 
fectively: 

1  The  course  I  am  taking  will  make  me  more  efficient  to  do  my 
work  in  the  office  in  a  more  efficient  way. 

2  I  am  inclosing  you  a  sample  of  black  undressed  worsted  which 
tailors  will  charge  you  $25  to  make  you  a  suit  from  or  you  will  pay 
nearly  as  much  in  a  ready-made  store  for  a  suit  of  same. 


Force  in  Diction  83 

3  If  you  will  write  to  any  superintendent  whose  name  is  in  this 
book,  we  are  confident  that  they  will  be  pleased  to  write  you  a 
personal  letter  in  regards  to  their  opinions  on  the  Mueller  Testing 
Outfit. 

4  We  want  to  impress  upon  you  that  this  shipment  was  made  in  the 
best  possible  order,  after  each  piece  being  inspected  and  carefully 
prepared  for  shipping. 

5  Because  of  this  extra  study  of  everyman's  general  problems,  those 
particularly  relating  to  business  enterprise,  I  hope  you  will  ob- 
serve in  my  daily  work  more  thoroughness  and  a  better  fulfilment 
of  the  task. 

6  As  I  am  a  student  of  the  course  business  English  at  the  present 
time,  I  found  it  to  be  a  good  asset  and  has  greatly  improved  my 
knowledge  of  exact  business  and  correspondence. 

7  Thanking  you  for  past  favors  and  assuring  you  of  our  best  atten- 
tion to  your  future  needs,  believe  me,  respectfully  yours. 

8  Not  so  many  women  drive  in  New  York  City  for  the  reason  of  the 
congested  traffic,  but  when  moving  to  their  summer  homes,  you 
will  find  a  large  percentage  of  the  women  in  the  family  do;  and 
believe  it  will  be  but  a  short  time,  where  there  is  an  automobile 
in  the  family  before  all  the  women  will  drive. 

9  I  will  try  to  convince  you  that  I  am  taking  this  step  in  order  to  be 
of  better  service  to  you  and  myself  financially. 

10  That  the  average  automobile  in  the  hands  of  a  wise  man  is  an  edu- 
cator, promoter,  has  progressive  influence  for  good  is  true,  and 
were  it  not  for  the  influence  of  the  opposite  sex,  this  to  a  large 
extent  would  not  exist. 

11  It  will  be  good  news  to  those  mothers  who  know  us,  and  —  we 
feel  sure  —  to  those  we  would  like  to,  when  we  tell  them  that  this 
season  we  are  greatly  elaborating  our  Children's  Department. 

12  We  believe  at  the  present  time  that  women  have  more  to  do 
with  the  closing  of  an  automobile  sale  than  any  other  one  ele- 
ment. 

13  In  the  six  years  that  I  have  been  in  your  employ  I  have  received 
a  practical  education,  but  I  believe  that  in  these  days  when  com- 
petition is  so  keen  it  is  also  necessary  to  have  the  ability  of  writing 
letters  which  shall  bring  in  new  business. 

14  This  firm,  judged  from  every  standpoint,  is  better  equipped  to 
produce  commercial  stationery  and  office  needfuls,  as  well  as 
business  furniture,  and  sells  them  cheaper  than  smaller  institu- 
tions. 


84  Business  English 

15  The  winch  is  provided  with  automatic  safety  brake  which  makes 
dropping  of  load  impossible,  and  tlie  handles  cannot  fly  back, 
thus  removing  all  danger,  so  that  a  boy  can  lower  safely. 

16  We  could  write  you  a  long  letter  without  telling  you  half  the 
merits  of  the  machine,  and  without  giving  you  so  good  a  knowl- 
edge of  its  worth  but  we  know  you  should  rather  see  it  for  your- 
self before  buying. 

17  Of  course  if  it  was  in  two  colors  it  would  look  different  to  what  I 
am  submitting  to  you. 

18  Your  favor  of  the  13th  received,  and  note  what  you  state  respect- 
ing our  problems  that  we  are  confronting  at  the  present. 

19  It  is  the  intention  to  send  out  25  of  these  letters  and  wish  to  get 
something  that  would  cover  the  situation. 

20  If  you  can  put  to  use  this  guaranteed  flexible  shaft,  we  will  be 
very  willing. 

21  I  am  attempting  in  a  crude  way  to  get  up  a  circular  letter  and  am 
enclosing  same  for  your  rewriting  and  suggestions,  and  would  be 
pleased  to  have  you  give  this  your  immediate  attention. 

22  With  eyes  to  see,  and  fancy  to  feel,  and  at  last  strong  expression 
to  strike  home  the  gathered  results  —  that 's  the  essence  of  effec- 
tive advertising. 

23  For  several  years  high  prices  have  forced  you  to  sell  on  a  slender 
margin  of  profit  but  now  you  will  be  able  to  buy  so  you  can  make 
money. 

24  If  you  wish,  we  will  be  pleased  to  send  you  a  range  of  our  samples 
and  we  will  quote  you  our  lowest  possible  prices  thereon,  and  if 
you  find  any  that  does  not  meet  with  your  approval,  you  can 
return  at  our  expense. 

25  If  you  install  a  McCary  Refrigerator,  it  will  make  not  only  for 
convenience,  but  the  health  of  your  family  will  be  guarded  from 
germ  diseases. 

26  We  are  anxious  that  you  should  give  our  method  a  trial,  as  we 
will  then  be  enabled  to  speedily  convince  you  of  our  superior  hand 
work  along  with  less  exorbitant  prices. 

27  We  are  all  out  of  this  article  at  present  owing  to  the  destruction  of 
our  factory  recently  by  fire  and  it  will  be  some  time  before  we  can 
secure  a  new  supply  of  same  so  we  return  your  remittance. 

28  There  only  being  a  few  of  these  suits  left  we  are  selling  them  at  a 
great  reduction. 


CHAPTER  VIII 
THE   PARAGRAPH 

The  Long  and  the  Short  Paragraph 

The  paragraph  is  the  largest  unit  into  which  the  com- 
position is  divided.  Originally  it  was  an  arbitrary  divi- 
sion made  for  the  convenience  of  the  reader.  The  printer 
discovered  that  unbroken  masses  of  type  repelled  and 
tired  the  eye,  and  made  it  hard  for  the  reader  to  grasp  the 
thought.  He  therefore  sought  a  way  to  break  up  the 
page  into  smaller  parts,  so  as  to  provide  resting  places 
for  the  eye  and  the  mind.  These  resting  places  were 
first  made  by  signs  or  paragraph  marks,  but  are  now 
usually  made  by  indenting  the  first  line  of  the  paragraph 
or  by  having  more  space  between  the  paragraphs. 

When  we  understand  the  reason  for  paragraphing,  we 
can  readily  see  why  the  tendency  of  the  present  day  is 
toward  short  paragraphs.  This  is  especially  true  in 
business  English,  for  here  it  is  absolutely  necessary  to 
make  reading  easy.  In  most  business  letters,  adver- 
tisements, and  other  messages  the  paragraphs  average 
much  less  than  one  hundred  words. 

This  tendency  is  quite  in  accord  with  the  principle  of 
adjustment  to  the  reader.  If  a  broken  page  attracts  the 
eye,  then  the  more  broken  it  is,  within  reasonable  limits, 
the  greater  should  be  the  attractiveness.  Even  in  stories, 
pages  of  dialogue  attract  us  more  than  pages  of  solid 
description  or  action.  Modern  story  writers  often  be- 
gin with  a  bit  of  dialogue  in  order  to  catch  the  eye. 
Similarly,  at  the  beginning  of  a  letter  a  few  crisp  para- 

85 


86  Business  English 

graphs  compel  the  reader's  attention  more  quickly  than 
a  single  long  one,  regardless  of  the  thought  or  language. 
Compare  the  two  following  specimens.  The  sentences 
are  the  same.  The  only  difference  is  in  the  paragraph- 
ing.  Which  would  you  read  first? 

Any  advertising,  to  be  success-  Any  advertising,  to  be  success- 
ful,  must  do  these  things :    It  ful,  must  do  these  things : 
must  efficiently  and  economically  It  must  efficiently  and  econom- 
sell    the    goods    advertised.     It  ically  sell  the  goods  advertised, 
must  give  the  consumer  some-  It   must   give    the    consumer 
thing  he  needs  or  wants,  or  a  something  he  needs  or  wants,  or 
better  article  than  some  other  at  a  better  article  than  some  other 
the  price,  or  it  must  supply  an  at  the  price,  or  it  must  supply 
article    more    conveniently    or  an  article  more  conveniently  or 
with   better   service.     Unless   it  with  better  service, 
does  these  things,  advertising  is  Unless   it   does   these   things, 
not  economically  sound  and  can-  advertising  is  not  economically 
not    command   permanent   sue-  sound  and  cannot  command  per- 
cess.  manent  success. 

Single-Sentence  Paragraphs 

Short  paragraphs  should  not,  however,  be  carried  to 
too  great  extremes.  There  is  a  tendency  among  some 
writers  to  paragraph  each  sentence  separately.  Here  is  a 
typical  example  of  single-sentence  paragraphing: 

Mr.  ADVERTISER! 

You  spend  your  money  to  tell  People  what 
you ' ve  got  to  sell. 

Now,  what  kind  of  People  can  afford  to 
buy  your  particular  Goods? 

What  income  must  they  possess  to  be  prob- 
able Consumers  of  your  Advertised  Products? 

How  many  possibilities  of  Sale  has  your 
product  per  thousand  average  Readers? 

These  are  all  vital  factors  in  the  framing 
up  of  your  campaign,  and  in  the  prospects  of 
success  from  it. 


The  Paragraph  87 

In  this  instance,  single-sentence  paragraphing  is  ef- 
fective, though  it  soon  becomes  monotonous.  The 
method  is  not  suitable,  however,  for  some  kinds  of  busi- 
ness messages.  In  point  of  fact,  the  ideas  conveyed  in 
single-sentence  paragraphs  are  not  likely  to  be  the  same 
as  those  in  longer  ones.  There  is  no  room  for  modifi- 
cations or  exceptions.  Strong  assertions  and  sweeping 
generalities  take  the  place  of  carefully  balanced  state- 
ments of  fact.  Exactness  is  impossible.  And  when  it  is 
used  indiscriminately  for  collection  letters,  answers  to 
complaints,  and  sales  letters;  letters  about  investments, 
advertising,  insurance  and  books;  letters  to  bankers, 
farmers,  agents,  and  school  teachers,  we  need  to  stop 
and  consider  its  limitations. 

The  paragraph  of  a  letter  or  other  business  communi- 
cation ought  to  be  adapted  to  the  reader.  The  single- 
sentence  paragraph  is  not  usually  suitable  in  letters  to 
teachers  and  other  professional  men  and  women,  or  in 
general  to  men  and  women  of  the  educated  and  cultured 
classes.  The  gain  in  attention  that  results  from  its  use 
is  more  than  offset  by  the  loss  in  convincing  power. 

Regardless  of  the  class  of  readers,  the  single-sentence 
paragraph  does  not  belong  in  the  letters  and  other  mes- 
sages of  certain  classes  of  business  houses.  High-class 
business  houses  could  not  profit  by  its  use.  Banks  and 
investment  houses  should  avoid  it,  because  it  savors  too 
much  of  the  get-rich-quick  schemes  of  popular  promoters. 
It  is  not  suitable  in  the  letters  of  large  transportation 
companies,  art  dealers,  or  other  high-grade  concerns  that 
gain  new  business  slowly. 

If  our  proposition  involves  a  quick  decision  and  a 
decision  based  upon  impulse  rather  than  reason,  sin- 
gle-sentence paragraphing  may  be  found  useful.  If 
we  are   simply  giving  information,  or  adjusting  dif- 


88  Business  English 

ferences  of  opinion;  if  we  are  collecting  money,  refus- 
ing credit,  or  doing  anything  else  disagreeable  to  the 
reader,  we  should  beware  of  the  single-sentence  para- 
graph. It  always  gives  an  impression  of  informality  — 
even  familiarity;  sometimes  it  gives  the  impression  of 
curtness  and  rudeness.  It  can  never  give  the  smoothness 
and  delicacy  that  is  possible  in  the  long  paragraph.  And, 
as  has  already  been  suggested,  the  single-sentence  para- 
graph almost  invariably  leads  the  writer  to  take  an 
aggressive  attitude,  and  make  unqualified  statements. 
The  longer  paragraph  has  room  for  exceptions  and 
explanations. 

Many  business  houses  show  a  tendency  to  paragraph 
separately  not  merely  single  sentences  but  single  clauses. 
Of  course  there  are  certain  cases  in  which  this  method 
of  paragraphing  is  justified  by  custom  and  convenience. 
An  order  for  goods  that  contains  several  items  should 
have  each  of  these  items  separately  paragraphed  so  that 
they  can  be  checked  more  conveniently.  Usage  also 
approves  the  separate  paragraphing  of  every  clause  in 
a  set  of  resolutions.  These  would  seem  to  be  sufficient 
precedent  for  paragraphing  separately  each  one  of  a 
series  of  reasons  why  an  article  should  be  purchased, 
whether  they  are  in  the  form  of  definite  statements  or 
merely  clauses.  Wherever  possible,  however,  it  is  far 
better  to  make  separate  sentences  of  each  of  these  rea- 
sons than  to  paragraph  them  separately  without  doing 
this. 

Use  the  short  paragraph  —  the  single-sentence  para- 
graph even  —  when  gaining  attention  is  your  all-im- 
portant object.  Use  it  when  your  proposition  is  popular 
and  must  appeal  to  the  many  that  are  uneducated  and 
uncultured.  Do  not  use  it  when  your  appeal  is  made  to 
the  cultured  and  well-educated  classes.    Use  it  when 


The  Paragraph  89 

you   are  selling  goods.    Do  not  use  it  when  you  are 
answering  complaints. 

Oral  Exercise 

Which  would  you  prefer  to  use,  long  or  short  para- 
graphs, in  each  of  the  following  cases  ? 

1  A  letter  from  a  department  store  to  a  woman  customer  refus- 

ing to  allow  her  claim  of  an  overcharge  on  a  purchase. 

2  A  letter  from  the  advertising  department  of  a  popular  maga- 

zine to  advertisers  announcing  a  large  increase  in  circulation. 

3  A  booklet  of  a  trust, company  showing  the  advantages  of  nam- 

ing the  company  as  executor  of  a  will. 

4  An  advertisement  for  chewing  gum. 

Written  Exercises 

Re-paragraph  the  following  passages. 

1  Ten  cents  a  Button,  One  Dollar  a  Rip  —  this  is  the  famous 

warranty  that  is  helping  to  make  Paragon  trousers  the  largest 
sellers  in  the  world.  It  isn't  really  the  warranty  that  does  it, 
of  course,  but  the  values  that  make  it  possible  for  us  to  offer 
and  to  maintain  such  a  warranty.  We  have  built  up  our  busi- 
ness by  manufacturing  trousers  exclusively,  and  by  giving 
values  that  allow  a  good  profit  to  the  retailer  and  good  service 
to  the  customer.  This  policy  has  made  us  the  largest  manu- 
facturers of  trousers  exclusively.  But  we  do  not  rest  content 
with  furnishing  the  best  possible  goods  at  the  price.  Our  exten- 
sive "Help  the  Dealer"  advertising  is  creating  a  demand  for 
the  goods  in  every  city  and  town  of  importance.  Just  read  the 
copy  enclosed  in  this  letter.  Doesn't  it  grip  the  attention, 
convince  and  assure  reliability  .^^  It  certainly  does  wonders  in 
helping  the  retailer  sell  Paragon  trousers.  And  we  stand  be- 
hind this  warranty  and  make  good  all  claims. 

2  When  you  sit  down  with  your  paper  after  supper  to-night  just 

look  over  to  the  corner  of  the  room  and  think  how  much  a 
handsome  piano  there  would  add  to  its  coziness. 

Imagine  how  much  your  daughters  would  enjoy  using  it  to 
develop  their  musical  talent. 

You  and  your  wife  too,  would  take  a  great  deal  of  pleasure 
in  hearing  them,  and  the  good  old  songs  would  shorten  the  long 
winter  evenings. 


90  Business  English 

Probably  you  did  think  of  it  a  great  many  times  last  winter 
and  have  said  to  yourself  that  you  would  not  let  another  win- 
ter go  by  without  having  a  piano. 

Indeed,  a  piano  is  no  longer  a  luxury,  it  is  a  necessity;  it  is  a 
more  important  part  in  home  life  than  even  an  easy  chair. 

Unity  in  the  Paragraph 

Whether  short  or  long,  paragraphs  will  not  com- 
pletely serve  their  purpose  of  making  reading  easier  for 
the  eye  and  the  mind  unless  each  one  marks  a  definite 
step  in  the  progress  of  the  composition.  The  sentences 
grouped  in  it  must  be  bound  together  by  very  close 
relation  in  idea.  For  the  purpose  of  construction,  in- 
deed, the  paragraph  should  be  regarded  as  a  whole  com- 
position in  itself.  It  should  be  built  on  the  same  princi- 
ples that  govern  the  whole  composition.  Unless  this  is 
done,  the  fact  that  one  paragraph  is  set  off  from  another 
will  be  of  little  real  help  to  the  reader. 

The  paragraph  must,  first  of  all,  have  unity.  All  the 
sentences  in  it  must  .bear  upon  some  one  point  in  the 
message.  This  one  point  may  be  chosen  by  any  one  of 
a  number  of  different  standards.  In  a  sales  letter,  for 
example,  it  may  be  chosen  according  to  its  purpose,  or 
function.  These  functions  are  usually  considered  to  be 
four  in  number.  The  letter  must  attract  attention,  cre- 
ate desire,  convince,  and  stimulate  action.  A  paragraph 
of  the  letter  may  be  devoted  to  each  of  these  functions. 

The  following  letter  will  illustrate  this  method: 

Dear  Sir: 

One  hundred  million  dollars  are  spent  every 
Attracts  year  on  sales  letters.  Only  one-sixth  of  these 
Attention  are  ever  read.  Are  yours  among  the  efficient 
sixth  .f^  *You  know  you  could  double  your 
business  if  you  could  make  your  letters  so 
compelling  that  no  business  man  could  help 
reading  them. 


The  Paragraph 

Learn  to  make  them  forceful,  vital,  compel- 
ling.  You  can  do  it.   Imitating  other  people 
or  hiring  them  to  do  your  work  for  you  may 
serve  as  a  makeshift,  but  it  won't  be  a  perma- 
Creates        nent  help.  *Hunt's  Business  English  is  a  prac- 
Desire  tical  guide  for  practical  men.   It  puts  before 

you,  in  simple,  usable  form,  all  the  principles 
you  need  to  know  to  write  any  kind  of  busi- 
ness message.  Each  principle  is  fully  illus- 
trated by  concrete  examples  from  actual 
'  experience. 

The  scientific  value  of  the  treatise  is  shown 
by  the  fact  that  it  is  used  in  the  largest  Uni- 
versity Schools  of  Commerce  in  the  country. 
Professor  Henry  Ames  says  of  it:  "No  other 
textbook  on  composition  is  so  thoroughly 
practical.  It  develops  the  power  of  the  indi- 
Convinces  vidual."  *But  it  is  not  simply  a  text-book  for 
the  student.  It  is  complete  enough  and  ad- 
vanced enough  for  the  experienced  business 
man.  Mr.  John  Smith,  secretary  of  the  Blank 
Manufacturing  Company  says  that  he  keeps 
it  on  his  desk  all  the  time.  Read  the  inclosed 
descriptive  circular,  and  you  will  understand 
why. 

Even  if  you  use  it  only  as  a  reference  guide 
on  the  little  points  of  punctuation  and  gram- 
mar, it  will  be  worth  its  price  to  you.    *But 
Stimulates  you  are  the  best  judge  of  its  worth.   Sign  the 
Action  inclosed  card  and  send  your  check  for  $2. 

Keep  the  book  ten  days  and  if  you  don't  feel 
that  it  is  worth  more  than  its  cost,  return  it  to 
us  and  get  your  money  back.   Send  to-day. 
Very  truly  yours, 
Book  Publishing  Company 


91 


In  practice,  few  sales  letters  are  quite  so  mechanically 
constructed.  The  paragraph  division  does  not  often  cor- 
respond so  closely  with  the  functions  to  be  performed. 
Several  paragraphs  may  be  given  to  the  description  of 


92  Business  English 

the  article  to  create  desire,  or  to  the  evidence  about  it  to 
convince.  Even  so,  however,  there  will  be  a  proper  divi- 
sion of  the  material,  so  that  each  paragraph  will  cover 
one  phase  of  the  subject.  One  will  describe  the  materi- 
als; another  will  describe  the  finish;  one  will  give  evi- 
dence of  tests;  another,  evidence  of  testimony. 

The  letter  given  above  would  be  improved  if  the  par- 
agraphs were  shorter.  New  paragraphs  might  be  begun 
at  the  points  marked  by  asterisks.  Each  paragraph 
would  still  be  a  unit,  for  each  would  still  contain  only 
sentences  that  bear  on  a  single  idea. 

To  test  the  unity  of  his  paragraphs,  the  writer  should 
see  if  each  one  can  be  summed  up  in  a  single  sentence.  If 
it  cannot,  it  lacks  unity.  Unrelated  ideas  are  included  or 
essential  ideas  are  omitted.  If  it  can  be  summed  up  in  a 
key  sentence,  or  topic  sentence,  it  has  unity. 

Apply  this  test  to  the  letter  above.  The  key  sentences 
are  as  follows: 

1  You  can  increase  your  business  by  making  your 
letters  more  compelling. 

2  Hunt's  Business  English  is  the  best  guide  to  knowl- 
edge of  the  way  to  do  this. 

3  It  is  indorsed  by  those  who  have  read  it. 

4  You  take  no  risk  in  ordering  it  to-day. 

It  will  be  noted  that  the  whole  letter  can  be  summed 
up  in  one  sentence:  You  can  increase  your  business  by 
ordering  Hunt's  Business  English  to-day. 

If  the  letter  is  divided  into  shorter  paragraphs  as  indi- 
cated by  the  asterisks,  the  key  sentence  will  be  as 
follows : 

1  Only  one-sixth  of  the  great  mass  of  sales  letters  are 
read. 

2  You  can  increase  your  business  by  having  your  let- 
ters among  the  compelling  sixth. 


The  Paragraph  93 

3  Imitating  others  will  not  help  you  to  do  it.  , 

4  Hunt's  Business  English  will  guide  you  to  do  it. 

5  University   Schools   of   Commerce  indorse    it   as 
scientific. 

6  Business  men  indorse  it  as  practical. 

7  As  a  reference  book  alone  it  is  worth  its  price. 

8  You  take  no  risk  in  ordering  to-day. 

The  process  of  dividing  the  material  of  other  letters 
in  order  to  secure  unified  paragraphs  is  much  the  same. 
Usually  the  purpose  to  be  accomplished  by  a  letter  is 
divisible.  In  answering  a  complaint,  for  example,  it  is 
necessary  to  impress  the  reader  with  a  belief  in  your 
sincerity  and  good  will;  to  show  him  the  causes  of  the 
trouble;  to  explain  to  him  your  responsibility,  or  lack  of 
responsibility,  for  them;  and  to  convince  him  that  it  is 
still  to  his  advantage  to  deal  with  you.  It  may  take 
several  paragraphs  to  explain  the  causes  of  the  diflficulty . 
In  any  case,  however,  each  should  make  a  complete  step 
in  the  progress  of  the  message. 

Before  answering  a  letter,  or  writing  any  other  busi- 
ness message,  it  is  a  good  idea  to  make  an  outline  of  the 
topics  to  be  covered.  A  paragraph  can  then  be  devoted 
to  each  topic.  Such  an  outline  might  read  as  follows : 

1  Expresses  pleasure  at  receiving  inquiry. 

2  Explains  advantages  of  school. 

3  Gives  length  of  course,  fees,  and  entrance  require- 
ments. 

4  Describes  living  conditions  in  vicinity  of  school. 

5  Expresses  desire  to  give  any  further  information  or 
advice  needed. 

6  Expresses  hope  of  welcoming  reader  as  a  student. 

In  dictating  from  such  an  outline,  it  is  wise  to  make 
the  topic  sentence  a  part  of  the  paragraph,  and  develop 
it  by  such  further  explanation  as  is  needful. 


94  Business  English 

Exercise 

Paragraph  the  following  letter,  making  any  changes 
in  the  sentence  structure  that  are  necessary  to  smooth- 
ness. 

Mr.  Crawford  who  called  on  you  for  us  during  the 
past  week,  reports  with  regret  that  he  was  unable  to 
sell  you  any  goods.  Being  well  prepared  to  supply  your 
needs  with  an  up-to-date  high-quality,  reasonably- 
priced  line  of  goods,  he  will  call  on  you  again  from  time 
to  time.  There  are  many  reasons  why  you  should  buy 
goods  from  us  to  your  advantage,  especially  as  any 
reasonable  concession  to  secure  your  account  will  be 
made  by  us.  A  special  advantage  will  be  offered  to  Mr. 
Crawford  on  his  next  trip  in  a  deal  on  winter  underwear, 
sweaters,  ladies'  and  children's  knit  goods,  which  it 
will  pay  you  to  investigate.  Examination  of  his  line  of 
samples  will  confirm  our  statements.  These  advan- 
tages coupled  with  our  liberal  business  policy  should 
merit  a  share  of  your  business. 

Very  truly  yours, 

F.  B.  T.  &  Co. 

Coherence  in  the  Paragraph 

Coherence  is  the  principle  which  demands  that  the 
material  be  so  arranged  as  to  make  the  progress  of  the 
reader  easy.  The  sentences  should  be  in  logical  order, 
'  and  should  be  so  constructed  that  the  relation  between 
them  is  clear.  The  problem  of  logical  order  is  less  im- 
portant and  easier  of  solution  in  the  paragraph  than  in 
a  composition  as  a  whole.  Proper  construction  and 
connection  are  the  most  essential  means  of  securing 
paragraph  coherence. 

The  narrative  order  in  which  the  facts  are  given  in 
the  order  of  their  occurrence  is  the  simplest,  though  not 
the  most  common.  It  is  useful  in  presenting  the  steps 
of  a  process  that  is  being  explained,  or  in  stating  the 


The  Paragraph  95 

events  that  lead  up  to  a  certain  situation.  To  arrange 
them  haphazard  just  as  they  come  into  the  mind  would 
be  less  effective. 

Examples 

Bad  Better 

You  have  not  complied  with  You  have  not  complied  with 

the  conditions  of  your  contract,  the  conditions  of  your  contract. 

It  is  now  Nov.  20,  and  there  are  You  will  remember  that  you  took 

still  30,000  letter-heads  to  be  de~  the  order  Nov.  4,  and  agreed  to 

livered  to  us.  You  will  remember  deliver  the  whole  job  in  10  days, 

that  you  took  the  order  Nov.  4,  You     delivered     10,000     letter- 

and  agreed  to  deliver  the  whole  heads  Nov.  16.    It  is  now  Nov. 

job  in  10  days.    You  delivered  20,    and   there   are   still   30,000 

10,000  letter-heads  Nov.  16.    It  letter-heads  to  be  delivered  to  us. 
is  true  you  delivered  the  envel- 
opes Nov.  14  but  the  bulk  of  the 
order  is  still  undelivered. 

The  descriptive  order  is  occasionally  useful  if  it  be- 
comes necessary  to  give  a  mental  picture  of  some  arti- 
cle. This  can  frequently  be  done  by  giving  a  general 
impression  of  it,  followed  by  the  most  necessary  details 
in  the  order  in  which  they  might  be  observed.  As  a  rule, 
however,  lengthy  descriptive  passages  are  inadvisable. 
Photographs,  drawings,  or  other  pictures  take  their 
place.  If  descriptive  matter  is  given  it  is  condensed  as 
much  as  possible.  Frequently  it  contains  only  a  state- 
ment of  the  materials  used,  and  the  quality  of  the  work- 
manship.  The  following  example  will  illustrate: 

The  engraving  of  Gainsborough's  great  portrait  of 
Lady  Hamilton  measures  just  2x5  feet.  When  framed 
and  hung  in  the  parlor  it  will  add  many  dollars  in  deco- 
rative value  to  your  home.  Lady  Hamilton  is  generally 
admitted  to  be  the  most  beautiful  of  all  the  court  beau- 
ties painted  by  the  great  master.  Certainly,  the  Ham- 
ilton picture  is  Gainsborough's  greatest  masterwork  in 
portraiture,  and,  in  conception  and  execution,  ranks 


96  Business  English 

with  the  greatest  of  Rembrandt  and  Titian.  Possibly 
you  have  never  seen  a  more  beautiful  portrait-picture 
and  I  doubt  whether  any  work  has  been  more  con- 
summately executed. 

Narrative  and  descriptive  material  is  usually  but  a 
small  part  of  business  composition.  Exposition  and  ar- 
gument predominate,  for  it  is  by  these  that  action  must 
finally  be  secured.  The  great  majority  of  paragraphs 
therefore  follow  one  of  the  orders  that  are  most  useful  in 
exposition:  the  deductive,  the  inductive,  and  the  cli- 
mactic. 

The  deductive  order  works  from  the  general  to  the 
specific.  It  states  a  general  truth  and  follows  this  with  a 
concrete  illustration.  It  states  an  effect  and  then  men- 
tions the  causes.  In  other  words,  it  begins  with  the 
topic  sentence  and  follows  with  the  development  of 
the  idea.    The  following  will  illustrate: 

A  generation  ago  the  horizon  of  speech  was  limited. 
When  your  grandfather  was  a  young  man,  his  voice 
could  be  heard  on  a  still  day  for  perhaps  a  mile.  Even     . 
though  he  used  a  speaking  trumpet,  he  could  not  be 
heard  so  far  as  he  could  be  seen. 

Your  letters  are  your  ambassadors.  They  go  to  your 
customers  and  clients  in  your  place.  If  you  select  the 
paper  you  use  for  your  business  correspondence  simply 
because  it  is  cheap  —  does  it  properly  represent  you 
and  your  business  ideals?  If  you  were  to  travel  (in- 
stead of  sending  a  letter),  would  you  go  on  a  second- 
class  train  because  it  was  cheaper  —  would  you  stop  at 
a  poor  hotel  and  wear  the  cheapest  clothes  you  could 
buy.?    . 

The  inductive  order  is  the  exact  opposite  of  the  deduc- 
tive. The  paragraph  begins  with  concrete  and  specific 
statements,  and  concludes  with  a  general  truth  drawn 


The  Paragraph  97 

from  them.  Or  it  begins  with  causes  and  ends  with 
effects.  The  idea  of  the  topic  sentence  is  fully  de- 
veloped before  the  topic  sentence  itself  is  stated.  Fol- 
lowing are  examples : 

Pantasote  is  not  injured  by  intense  cold.  It  is  not 
harmed  by  the  baking  sun.  It  is  not  damaged  by  the 
spatters  of  road  oil  or  grease.  In  short,  it  is  especially 
manufactured  for  outside  use. 

r 

A  fair  cost  for  "ordinary"  paper  is  about  $1.50  to 
$2.00  per  thousand  sheets.  On  that  basis  Old  Hamp- 
shire Bond  would  cost  j\  to  -^-^  of  a  cent  more  per 
sheet.  If  you  are  proud  of  your  business  and  its  good 
name  you  will  be  gratified  to  see  your  letters  going  out 
on  Old  Hampshire  Bond,  and  the  slight  additional  cost 
will  be  more  than  justified  by  the  insurance  of  effi- 
ciency which  Old  Hampshire  Bond  will  add  to  your 
letters. 

Comparison  of  these  two  paragraph  orders  will  show 
that  the  deductive  commands  attention  more  quickly; 
the  inductive  is  more  convincing.  The  former  is  usually 
preferable  at  the  beginning  of  letters.  The  latter  is 
usually  preferable  toward  the  end,  when  interest  has 
been  secured.  Neither,  however,  should  be  used  to  the 
exclusion  of  the  other.  Effectiveness  is  greatest  when 
there  is  variety. 

The  climactic  order  is  very  frequently  useful  in  busi- 
ness English.  The  facts  are  placed  in  the  order  of  their 
importance  —  ending  with  the  most  important  —  so  as 
to  secure  a.  cumulative  effect.  The  order  is  especially 
valuable  in  giving  a  summary  of  the  advantages  of  any 
article  or  the  reasons  for  any  act.  Another  point  in  favor 
of  this  order  is  its  use  in  securing  emphasis,  as  will  be 
shown  later. 

Example  of  the  climactic  order: 


98  Business  English 

"The  World's  Civilization  on  a  Book  Shelf"  it  has 
been  aptly  called.  You  can  turn  from  the  Arabian 
Nights  to  Darwin;  from  the  travels  of  Drake  or  Ra- 
leigh to  the  best  fiction  of  America  or  Europe ;  the  Phil- 
osophy of  Voltaire  is  a  neighbor  of  Froissart's  entranc- 
ing tales  of  War  and  Border  fighting.  The  great 
thoughts  of  Religion  and  the  great  masterpieces  of 
Drama  are  equally  at  your  command.  That  which  the 
university  man  knows  —  that  which  cultured  people 
talk  about  —  upon  which  successful  men  have  built 
their  success  —  is  yours  in  the  Harvard  Classics. 

These  orders  are  by  no  means  the  only  ones  that  are 
useful  in  the  paragraph,  but  they  are  the  most  import- 
ant. The  fact  that  paragraphs  are  generally  short  makes 
it  unnecessary  to  mention  other  arrangements  of  the 
sentences. 

It  is  necessary,  however,  to  give  some  thought  to  the 
question  of  construction  and  connection,  to  secure  co- 
herence within  the  paragraph.  This  is  the  more  true  be- 
cause the  desire  to  say  much  in  few  words  often  results 
in  wide  gaps  between  ideas.  These  must  be  bridged,  if 
the  message  is  to  be  easily  grasped  by  the  reader. 

Keep  the  following  principles  in  mind  and  you  will.be 
likely  to  secure  coherent  construction.  Do  not  change 
the  subject  of  the  sentences  unnecessarily.  If  the  ideas 
are  similar,  put  the  sentences  in  similar  form.  Do  not 
be  afraid  to  repeat  words.  Do  not  change  the  tense  of 
your  verbs.  Do  not  use  many  participles.  Notice  that 
this  paragraph  exemplifiies  these  rules. 

Here  are  two  more  instances: 

The  advertiser  must  know  whether  the  public  has  a 
conscious  need  for  his  goods,  or  whether  the  public 
must  be  educated  to  that  need.  He  must  know  what 
others  have  done  in  similar  lines  in  order  that  he  may 
take  advantage  of  previous  educational  work,  and  that 


The  Paragraph  99 

he  may  avoid  the  mistakes  of  others.  He  must  know 
whether  a  certain  quahty  or  style  or  price  will  be  most 
suitable  to  work  out  his  plan  successfully. 

Prudent  men  are  now  doing  just  what  Baker  did. 
They  carry  business  insurance.  They  take  it  because  it 
is  not  an  expense;  because  it  is  a  protection;  because  it 
is  a  substantial  addition  to  their  assets;  because  it  is 
just  so  much  money  to  divide  in  case  of  dissolution 
during  the  life  of  partners. 

Connection  within  the  paragraph  is  much  the  same  as 
that  between  individual  paragraphs  of  the  message. 
The  common  conjunctions,  and  and  hut^  are  the  weak- 
est Hnks.  They  may  be  used,  however,  when  the  ideas 
connected  by  them  are  co-ordinate  or  contrasted.  The 
adverbial  conjunctions,  moreover,  however,  therefore, 
also,  and  the  phrases,  on  the  other  hand,  of  course,  and 
the  like,  are  better.  Better  still  are  demonstratives,  this, 
and  that,  and  repetitions  of  words.  Another  simple 
method  is  by  the  use  of  numbers,  first,  second,  third,  and 
so  on.  The  writer  should  have  at  his  command  all  the 
different  varieties,  and  choose  the  one  that  best  suits 
his  purpose. 

The  following  example  will  show  connection  by  means 
of  repetitions. 

Philadelphia  is  a  city  of  homes  to  a  degree  which  is 
not  true  of  any  other  large  city  in  the  country.  Every 
home  is  a  buying  center.  The  better  the  home,  the 
.  greater  the  buying  power.  Philadelphians  have  homes 
in  the  real  sense  of  the  word  —  not  flats  and  tables  in 
restaurants.  This  makes  Philadelphia  a  market  for 
everything  that  is  bought  to  be  used,  or  worn,  or  con- 
sumed in  a  home. 

It  is  gratifying  to  see  the  great  increase  in  the  num- 
ber of  new  subscribers.  It  is  even  more  gratifying  to 
welcome  back  our  old  subscribers  each  year.  "Our  old 
subscribers  first"  has  always  been  our  motto. 


100  Business  English 

Exercise 

Rewrite  the  following  paragraph  for  better  coherence: 

We  do  not  wish  to  be  unreasonable  and  we  are  not 
writing  this  in  the  spirit  of  fault  finding  but  we  do  feel 
that  you  must  now  take  some  definite  action  in  this 
matter  and  settle  your  account.  If  you  fail  to  do  this 
you  certainly  are  at  fault.  We  have  been  at  fault  for 
not  urging  you  more  strongly  in  the  past.  We  do  not 
like  to  do  collecting ;  and  we  do  not  like  to  remind  you 
that  your  account  is  past  due.  You  are  a  good  cus- 
tomer and  you  always  treated  us  fairly  and  we  know 
that  your  heart  is  in  the  right  place,  but  we  hope  that 
you,  and  all  of  us,  will  understand  that  past  due  paper 
is  a  thing  we  cannot  have  in  this  business  world.  As 
soon  as  a  contract  becomes  past  due  it  becomes  value- 
less to  us  as  an  asset,  either  by  way  of  obtaining  credit 
for  more  goods  or  for  borrowing  money.  You,  as  a 
business  man,  know  this  as  well  as  we  do;  we  need  not 
give  any  long  talk  about  it. 

Emphasis  in  the  Paragraph 

Emphasis,  so  far  as  construction  is  concerned,  de- 
pends on  proportion  and  position.  Proportion  in  the 
business  English  paragraph  is  not  likely  to  be  trouble- 
some, because  of  the  brevity  and  strict  unity  required. 
There  is  no  likelihood  that  a  minor  idea  will  be  given 
more  space  than  an  important  one.  Position  requires 
more  attention.  The  beginning  and  end  of  the  para- 
graph should  be  occupied  by  sentences  that  contain  the 
most  important  ideas,  expressed  in  the  most  effective 
words. 

In  securing  this  emphasis  of  position,  the  climactic 
order  is  of  help.  This  naturally  results  in  putting  the 
strongest  argument  at  the  close  of  the  paragraph.  It 
may  result  in  a  relatively  weak  beginning,  but  the  end  is 
the  more  important  of  the  two  positions. 


The  Paragrapk    .  - :      ; ;;;  «•, '  ;  ;101 

It  has  been  found  that  the  greatest  emphasis  is  fre- 
quently secured  by  putting  a  very  short  sentence  at  the 
end.  This  is  in  the  nature  either  of  a  summary  of  the 
ideas  just  presented  or  of  a  concrete  illustration  of  them. 
It  strikes  the  reader  like  the  snap  of  a  whip. 

The  following  will  illustrate  emphasis: 

When  this  watch  is  accompanied  by  the  Kew  Class 
A  Certificate  it  means  that  the  Kew  Observatory  in 
England  (the  most  famous  in  all  the  world)  has  scien- 
tifically tested  and  tried  this  particular  watch  and 
guaranteed  it  as  of  maximum  accuracy.  Such  a  certif- 
icate means  that  the  instrument  is  more  than  a  fine 
watch;  the  stars  in  their  course  are  scarcely  more 
regular. 

Do  your  hauling  costs  vary  at  different  seasons  of 
the  year?  Have  you  got  it  down  in  black  and  white  for 
every  month  so  that  you  can  control  and  regulate  all 
fluctuations?  According  to  the  Gramm  system,  the 
cost  of  handling  a  ton  of  hay,  for  instance,  over  a  given 
route  might  be  eight  cents  at  one  season  of  the  year  and 
only  three  at  another.  But  the  point  is  —  you  will 
know. 

Emphasis  may  also  be  helped  by  mechanical  methods 
of  display.  The  most  important  are  the  underlining  of 
words,  the  use  of  capital  letters,  and  the  wide  spacing 
of  words,  asD-o  t-h-i-s  n-o-w.  The  use 
of  red  ink  is  not  ordinarily  advisable. 

In  constructing  paragraphs  then,  the  writer  in  busi- 
ness should  remember  that  attractive  power  is  gained 
by  short  paragraphs,  but  that  sometimes  these  are 
undesirable  because  of  their  abruptness  or  their  lack  of 
dignity.  He  should  deal  with  only  one  main  idea  in 
the  message;  should  so  order  and  construct  its  several 
parts  that  progress  between  them  is  easy ;  should  put  the 


102  Bu&fness  English 

most  important  parts  at  the  beginning  and  end,  where 
they  will  make  the  deepest  and  most  lasting  impression. 

Exercises  in  Paragraph  Development 

Using  the  following  as  topic  sentences,  develop  them 
into  paragraphs  by  the  deductive  method: 

1  Ivory  Soap  will  hurt  nothing  that  water  does  not  harm. 

2  This  is  the  day  of  the  specialist. 

3  Big  Ben  is  a  companionable  fellow. 

4  To  have  a  Victrola  in  your  home  is  to  have  at  your  command  the 
world's  greatest  artists. 

5  Dutch  Cleanser  chases  dirt. 

Develop  these  sentences  into  paragraphs  by  the  in- 
ductive method: 

1  Campbell  Soups  are  an  emergency  convenience. 

2  The  Saturday  Evening  Post  is  the  logical  home  paper. 

Develop  by  proof: 

1  Business  English  is  an  art  and  a  science. 

2  His  words  have  power  because  they  accord  with  his  thoughts. 

Develop  by  illustration: 

1  The  thoroughbred  knows  how  to  lose  as  graciously  as  how  to  win. 

2  Big  business  is  a  good  article  plus  wide  advertising. 

Develop  by  narration: 

1  The  history  of  Price's  Baking  Powder  is  most  interesting. 

2  The  talking  machine  has  had  a  long  and  varied  career. 

Develop  by  description  or  exposition: 

1  The  construction  of  the  O  Joy  Washing  Machine  is  simplicity 
itself. 

2  Holeproof  Hosiery  wears  well  because  it  is  well  made. 


PART  II 

BUSINESS  FORMS  AND  USAGES 

CHAPTER  I 
THE  STANDARD  OF  BUSINESS  USAGE 

Importance  of  Correct  Forms 

The  message  in  words  is  the  essential  part  of  a  letter 
or  of  other  business  communications.  Before  this  is 
grasped  by  the  reader,  however,  he  will  be  impressed  by 
the  form  and  general  appearance  of  the  communica- 
tion, and  his  impression  will  be  either  favorable  or  un- 
favorable. If  unfavorable,  it  may  prevent  the  message 
in  words  from  being  read  at  all,  and  will  certainly  in- 
crease the  difficulty  of  its  securing  a  favorable  response. 

The  case  is  parallel  to  that  of  a  personal  representa- 
tive who  goes  into  another  man's  office  to  secure  some 
business  from  him.  The  representative  is  judged  before 
he  says  a  word.  If  he  keeps  on  his  hat;  if  he  wears  a 
soiled  collar  or  muddy  shoes;  if  he  is  dressed  in  old- 
fashioned,  ill-fitting  clothes,  or  in  the  extreme  of  sporty 
styles,  he  lessens  the  chances  of  securing  an  interview. 
It  is  true  that  the  first  impression  of  him  may  be  unjust. 
A  man  who  is  careless  of  his  appearance  may  be  careful 
and  reliable  in  all  other  ways,  but  the  chances  are  that 
he  is  not;  at  any  rate,  he  has  to  make  an  additional  effort 
to  convince  a  business  man  that  he  is. 

In  just  the  same  way,  a  letter  that  is  slovenly  or  in- 
artistic in  effect,  one  that  oflFends  good  taste  or  fails  to 

103 


104  Business  English 

conform  to  the  accepted  standards  of  correct  business 
usage,  is  handicapped  at  the  start.  The  message  in 
words  has  to  be  much  stronger  and  better  to  counteract 
the  effect  of  the  message  that  is  in  the  letterhead,  the 
inside  address,  and  all  the  other  mechanical  parts  of  the 
letter,  even  to  the  paper  used.  On  the  other  hand  a 
letter  that  is  correct  in  every  detail  of  form  has  the  ad- 
vantage of  making  a  favorable  impression  at  the  start. 
This  will  help  the  message  in  words. 

The  Authorities 

But  it  may  be  asked,  "What  is  correct?"  The  prac- 
tice of  the  best  business  houses  in  the  country  is  re- 
garded as  the  standard  of  usage  in  matters  of  form  in 
letters.  Authorities  differ,  of  course,  on  minor  points,  but 
on  the  essentials  they  are  agreed.  It  is  therefore  necessary 
to  know  what  the  practice  of  good  business  houses  is  in 
regard  to  letterheads,  color  and  kind  of  paper,  inside  ad- 
dress, salutation,  margins,  complimentary  close,  and  sig- 
nature. 

Originality  versus  Convention 

Letter  writers  and  advertising  men  are  continually 
looking  for  something  that  is  different,  because  the  thing 
that  is  different  is  more  likely  to  catch  attention.  Some 
firms  use  stationery  of  distinctive  colors;  some  adopt 
novel  methods  of  writing  the  date,  or  the  inside  address, 
or  some  other  part  of  the  letter.  Practically  every  firm 
has  certain  peculiarities  of  style  in  letter  form  that  it 
practices  continually. 

Sometimes  the  results  justify  this  departure  from 
the  standards  of  usage.  More  frequently  they  do  not. 
The  problem  of  the  letter  is  not  the  same  as  that  of  the 
advertisement.  The  advertisement  has  to  compete  with 


The  Standard  of  Business  Usage  105 

other  advertisements,  and  therefore  it  must  use  novel 
forms,  illustrations,  display  type,  and  other  devices  to 
attract  attention.  The  letter  stands  alone.  There  is 
nothing  else  competing  for  the  reader's  attention  when 
it  is  in  his  hands.  If  there  are  novel  forms  of  letterhead, 
color,  type,  display,  or  anything  else  of  the  kind,  they 
compete  for  attention  with  the  message  in  words;  and,  as 
the  message  in  words  is  the  important  thing,  these  novel 
forms  are  likely  to  defeat  the  purpose  of  the  letter. 

Here  again  consider  the  parallel  of  the  personal  repre- 
sentative. The  best  dressed  man  is  clothed  with  such 
good  taste  and  in  such  conformity  to  convention  that 
his  costume  attracts  neither  favorable  nor  unfavorable 
comment.    You  see  the  man  himself  —  not  his  clothes. 

It  follows  then  that  it  is  a  useless  waste  of  energy  to 
devise  new  ways  for  the  writing  of  a  name  or  an  address. 
The  message  is  the  thing,  and  the  reader's  attention 
should  not  be  distracted  from  it  by  eccentricities  of  form, 
whether  they  result  from  ignorance  or  from  daring  origi- 
nality. There  is  room  enough  in  the  message  itself  for 
originality.  Except  in  rare  cases,  the  external  form 
should  not  depart  from  the  standards  of  good  usage. 

Stationery 

Usage  has  decreed  that  business  letters  should  be 
written  on  a  sheet  about  8^  by  11  inches  in  size.  This 
size  is  commended  also  for  utilitarian  reasons.  It  is  con- 
venient for  the  printer  in  cutting:  it  is  convenient  for  the 
typist  in  transcribing;  and  it  is  convenient  for  the 
standard  filing  cabinets.  The  best  business  houses  do 
not  use  half  sheets;  they  prefer  to  write  even  a  short 
letter  on  a  full  sheet.  The  paper  should  be  white,  reason- 
ably thin,  but  firm  in  texture.  Bond  papers  are  most  in 
favor  by  many  of  the  best  business  houses. 


106  Business  English 

Papers  of  light  tints  are  sometimes  used,  and  are  not 
objectionable  in  the  neutral  or  dull  colors,  such  as  gray 
and  buff.  Red,  orange,  salmon,  pink,  and  yellow  are 
bad.  Not  only  are  they  contrary  to  good  usage,  but  they 
are  the  colors  of  strongest  attention  value,  and  conse- 
quently most  likely  to  draw  the  eye  away  from  the  mes- 
sage. They  may  sometimes  be  used  in  cases  where  the 
class  to  be  reached  has  little  education  or  culture.  They 
are  sometimes  used  also  where  the  color  has  some  signifi- 
cance in  connection  with  the  business.  The  ''Yellow 
Store,"  may  use  yellow  paper.  It  is  doubtful  whether 
the  utility  reason  is  sufficient  to  outweigh  the  disadvan- 
tageous impression.  Nothing  can  be  more  effective  than 
plain  white. 

Colors  may  be  used  to  distinguish  different  branches 
of  business  in  interdepartmental  correspondence.  Here 
colors  have  a  significance  they  do  not  possess  in  letters 
written  to  outside  houses. 

What  has  been  said  of  the  paper  applies  generally  to 
the  envelope.  Correct  usage  decrees  that  this  be  of  the 
same  paper  as  that  used  for  the  letterhead,  and  that  the 
form  of  the  corner  card  with  return  address  shall  be  in 
harmony  with  the  form  of  the  letterhead.  This  corner 
card  should  be  small  and  should  contain  only  the  neces- 
sary information.  Some  firms  prefer  to  put  the  return 
address  on  the  back  of  the  flap  of  the  envelope.  This 
usage  should  be  reserved  for  social  purposes.  For  busi- 
ness purposes,  the  corner  card  in  the  upper  left-hand 
corner,  rectangular  in  form,  and  of  moderate  size  is  best. 

The  Letterhead 

Whether  the  letterhead  be  printed,  engraved,  or  litho- 
graphed, it  should  be  dignified  and  conservative.  It 
should  not  take  over  one-fifth  of  the  sheet.    We  some- 


The  Standard  of  Business  Usage  107 

times  see  letterheads  that  cover  half  the  sheet.  Aside 
from  the  fact  that  this  takes  space  that  should  be  re- 
served for  the  message,  it  gives  an  unpleasant,  top- 
heavy  appearaitce  to  the  letter.  The  question  of  litho- 
graphing or  engraving,  as  opposed  to  printing,  is  largely 
a  matter  of  expense.  Good  effects  can  be  produced  by 
printing,  but  if  the  class  reached  by  the  letter  is  of  a 
high  degree  of  refinement  and  wealth,  engraving  or  litho- 
graphing is  usually  effective  enough  to  justify  the  in- 
creased cost. 

The  letterhead  should  be  a  head  in  fact,  as  well  as  in 
name.  It  should  not  occupy  the  left-hand  margin  of  the 
paper  or  have  a  border  extending  all  around  the  letter. 
It  should  not  be  printed  or  lithographed  in  several 
bright  colors;  nor  should  it  be  made  up  of  several  showy 
or  clever  illustrations.  All  these  things  are  incorrect  and 
are  justified  only  by  special  conditions,  either  of  the 
sending  house,  the  proposition,  or  the  class  of  readers. 

Colors  and  Illustrations 

The  use  of  two  colors  in  the  letterhead  is  not  con- 
sidered objectionable,  particularly  if  these  two  colors 
are  red  and  black.  They  should,  however,  have  some 
justification  in  utility  and  not  exist  simply  for  the  sake 
of  attractiveness.  For  example,  if  a  concern  has  many 
branches  in  different  cities,  all  using  the  same  letter- 
heads, it  is  frequently  advisable  to  print  in  red  the 
address  of  the  office  from  which  the  letter  goes  out  and 
to  which  it  is  desired  that  the  reply  be  sent.  Similarly, 
when  it  is  desirable  that  a  reply  be  addressed  to  some 
particular  department,  it  is  frequently  well  to  print  the 
name  of  this  department  in  red. 

So  far  as  display  is  concerned,  the  use  of  two  harmoni- 
ous colors  is  approved  by  many  authorities;  neverthe- 


108  Business  English 

Effective  Letterheads 


THE  CUKnS  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 

DOXFENDENCE  SQUAJtB 
PHILADEIPHIA 

©THE  LADIESYIOME  JOURNAL  ^ 
THE  SATUIUMyEVINING  POST  K.9 
THE  CXJUNTW  GENTIEMAN  W 


ALEXANDER' HAMILTON  -  INSTITUTE 

ASTOR'PLACE  ^|[^  NEW 'YORK 

Research-Department 

Jcrcmlah-W-Jcnks-Cii>lrnu 
H'M- Jefferson- Scerctaiy  IQI 


Mail  Order  Advertising  Service 

39  Eaet  Forty-Second  Street,  New  York   City 
Telepbone  Number.  Murray  Hill  2128  and  2129 


NEW  YORK  UNIVERSITY 
SCHOOL  OF  COMMERCE 
ACCOUNTS  AND  FINANCE 


AFTERNOON    AND    CVENINO    SESSIONS 


Golliers 

THE  NATIONAL  WEEKLY 

».W    COUUIC  R   &  SON,    INCORPONATSO 

416  WEST   \3V>  STRCCT 

NEW  YORK 


CHlCJi%.GO 


The  Standard  of  Business  Usage  109 

less,  for  the  same  expenditure  a  better  effect  can  often 
be  secured  by  using  only  one  color  and  having  the 
letterhead  engraved  instead  of  printed. 

Some  firms  of  little  repute  use  on  their  letterheads  the 
picture  of  a  tall  office  building  in  which  they  have  only 
desk  room.  This  practice  has  led  to  such  wholesale  de- 
ception that  reputable  firms  frequently  avoid  using 
the  picture  of  their  office  buildings  or  factories,  even 
when  such  illustrations  are  genuine.  We  must  never 
forget  that  the  use  of  certain  things  by  unscrupulous 
people  sometimes  establishes  their  incorrectness,  just 
as  their  use  by  good  business  houses  would  have  es- 
tablished their  correctness. 

For  ordinary  business  purposes  the  effective  letter- 
head is  one  that  is  simple  and  concise.  A  trade-mark  is 
not  objectionable,  but  on  the  whole  it  is  best  to  use  the 
letterhead  mainly  to  give  the  name,  address,  telephone 
number,  and  business  of  the  firm,  and  possibly  the 
names  of  the  chief  officers.  A  lengthy  statement  of  the 
products  of  the  concern,  of  its  size,  extent,  and  resources, 
of  the  names  of  directors  and  stockholders,  and  so  on, 
belongs  not  on  the  letterhead  but  on  some  inclosure. 
Pictures  of  the  products  and  information  about  their 
manufacture  also  belong  on  some  inclosure.  The  letter- 
head should  represent  the  firm,  not  advertise  it. 


CHAPTER  II 
THE  MECHANICAL  MAKE-UP  OF  THE  LETTER 

Divisions  of  the  Letter 

Now  let  us  consider  the  letter  that  is  wholly  written 
either  by  pen  or  by  typewriter.  It  may  be  divided 
into  six  main  parts,  only  one  of  which,  the  heading, 
differs  from  those  of  the  letter  that  is  written  on  a 
printed  letterhead.  In  the  latter,  of  course,  the  written 
heading  consists  only  of  the  date. 

In  the  letter  that  is  wholly  written  or  typed,  the  head- 
ing contains  the  mailing  address  of  the  writer,  and  the 
date.  It  is  placed  in  the  upper  right-hand  corner  of  the 
paper,  an  inch  or  two  below  the  top  of  the  paper  and 
with  the  end  of  the  last  line  at  least  one  inch  from  the 
edge  of  the  paper.  It  usually  contains  the  street  num- 
ber, or  post-office  box,  or  rural  free  delivery  route  on  one 
line;  the  city  and  state  on  the  next,  and  the  date  on  the 
third.  The  whole  of  the  address,  if  short,  may  be  written 
on  one  line;  if  there  must  be  more  than  one  line,  the  date 
should  always  occupy  a  separate  line. 

The  street  number  shpuld  be  written  in  figures,  but 
should  have  no  sign,  such  as  "No."  or  *'#,"  preceding  it. 
Numbered  streets  and  avenues  under  ten  should  be 
written  out  in  full,  as  Fourth  Street,  Above  ten,  they 
should  be  written  in  figures,  as  IJ^^Bth  Street.  East  and 
West  should  not  be  abbreviated,  nor  should  any  name 
of  a  street,  such  as  Pennsylvania  Avenue. 

The  name  of  a  city  should  not  be  abbreviated:  Phila- 

110 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       111 


Correct  Form  of  Letter,  Typewritten  on  Letterhead 

NEW    YORK   UNIVERSITY 
SCHOOLOF COMMERCE 

ARTMCNT  OF   ENOLISH 

...,  .uZ^^  .rsrr......  ACCOUNTS  AND  FINANCE 


SESSION 


August   15,   1915, 


Mr.  Prank  Brown, 
2397  Broadway, 
New  York  City, 

Dear  Sin 

We  are  very  glad  to  hear  of  your  Interest  In 
the  School  of  Comneroe,  Accounts  and  Finance,  and  we 
take  pleasure  In  sending  you,  under  separate  cover,  a 
copy  of  our -bullet  In,  whloh  will  give  you  most  of  the 
Information  you  desire  about  ovur  work. 

After  looking  over  the  clroular  you  smy  have 
further  questions  In  regard  to  details.   These  we  shall 
be  glad  to  answer,  and  to  give  you  any  further  Informa- 
tion or  advice  that  you  may  wish,  either  by  letter  or  by 
a  personal  Interview  at  this  office. 

The  office  Is  open  dally  from  9  a.  m.  to  10  p,  m, 
and  on  Saturdays  until  5  p,  m. 

Registrations  are  accepted  now. 

Tours  very  truly. 


Secretary. 


delphia  should  not  be  Phila.,  nor  New  York  City,  N,  Y, 
City.   Names  of  states  may  be  abbreviated,  but  the  ab- 
breviations should  be  those  approved  by  the  post-oflSce 
authorities.    (See  appendix  for  list  of  Abbreviations.) 
The  date  should  always  be  written  in  full,  as  "Novem- 


112  Business  English 

ber  21,  1916."  Good  business  houses  do  not  use  such  a 
form  as  ''11/21/16."  The  practice  of  speUing  out  the 
entire  date,  as  "November  the  twenty-first.  Nineteen 
hundred  and  sixteen,"  is  merely  a  passing  fad  of  a  few 
concerns. 

Exercises 

Rewrite  in  correct  form 

46  W.  9th  St. 

N.  Y.  City,  Oct.  13th,  '16 

No.  152  Chestnut  St. 
Philadelphia,  10/12/16 

#81  Elmwood  Ave. 

Youngstown,  O., 
Apr.  20,  1916. 

Write  correctly  the  following  headings: 

1  nov  1  1905  tarry  town  n  y 

2  Brooklyn  n  y  408  atlantic  ave  1916  april  12 

3  janesville  ind  box  826  oct  5  1916 

4  boston  mass  26  shepherd  st  July  6  1916 

5  st  regis  hotel  55th  st  and  fifth  ave  new  york  city  sept  7  1915 

6  suite  35  caxton  bldg  Chicago  ill  march  14  1917 

7  r  f  d  no  3  manhattan  will  co  illinois  april  25  1916 

8  board  of  trade  bldg  Cincinnati  ohio  June  26  1917 

9  4  pauls  terrace  truro  Cornwall  england  June  23  1916 
10  geisbergstrasse  15  wiesbaden  germany  October  17  1916 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       113 
Correct  Form  of  Letter,  Pen- written  on  Plain  Paper 


-t^-e^c-ct^c^^.d-^^  ^^i::^ -':^C'^>;^-^>^-■^^2^7^  ^^.'^^^..--£-<^-'^-^^  -Z^^Z-^^^-^^^^-^-^^-z-^  U^t^-t^'^^ 


/^^^^^zR^^t-^c^^y/c-'^i.^^ 


114  Business  English 

Inside  Address  (or  Introduction) 

The  inside  address  contains  the  name  and  address  of 
the  person  to  whom  the  letter  is  written.  It  is  placed  at 
the  left-hand  margin  of  the  letter  at  least  one  inch  from 
the  edge  of  the  paper.  The  practice  of  allowing  it  to 
project  beyond  the  left-hand  margin  is  adopted  by  some 
houses,  but  has  little  merit.  The  wording  should  be 
practically  the  same  as  the  superscription  on  the  envel- 
ope, except  that  it  is  not  considered  absolutely  essential, 
•though  desirable,  to  include  the  street  address.  The 
city  and  state  must  be  given. 

The  first  line  begins  flush  with  the  margin.  Both  the 
following  arrangements  are  correct: 

Mr.  John  B.  Smith, 
32  Waverly  Place, 
New  York  City. 

Mr.  John  B.  Smith, 
32  Waverly  Place, 
New  York  City. 

The  name  of  a  person  should  be  preceded  by  his  proper 
title,  as  "Mr.,"  "Dr.,"  "Honorable,"  "Colonel,"  and 
the  like.  The  title  to  use  with  a  firm  is  "Messrs."  which 
must  not  be  further  abbreviated  to  "Mess."  It  is  now 
considered  allowable,  though  not  advisable,  to  omit  this 
title  altogether.  In  the  case  of  an  incorporated  company 
the  word  "The"  should  b^  used,  unless  it  appears  from 
the  letterhead  of  the  corporation  or  from  other  certain 
information  that  this  word  is  not  necessary.  It  is  always 
correct  to  use  the  form  adopted  by  the  corporation  it- 
self. The  title  "Esq."  is  sometimes  used  in  addressing  a 
man,  but  it  is  becoming  obsolete  in  business,  except  in  a 
few  special  fields.  When  used,  this  title  should  follow 
the  name  and  no  other  title  should  precede  the  name. 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       115 

The  same  rule  for  abbreviations  that  was  stated  in  re- 
gard to  the  head  holds  for  the  inside  address.  It  is  cor- 
rect to  place  a  comma  at  the  end  of  each  line  except  the 
last,  which  should  have  a  period.  Many  firms,  however, 
now  omit  all  punctuation  from  the  inside  address,  and  it 
is  probable  that  this  usage  will  soon  become  general. 

The  following  forms  are  not  allowable: 

Mr.  John  Jones,  Mr.  John  Jones, 

Dear  Sir:  City, 

Dear  Sir: 

Exercises 

Rewrite  the  following  inside  addresses  in  correct  form: 

1  Mr.  Richard  Hubbard,  East  Orange,  Mo. 

2  Mess.  R.  H.  Martin  &  Co.,  196  Main  St.,  City. 

3  Standard  Oil  Co.  of  N.Y.,  26  Broadway,  N.Y.  City. 

Salutation 

The  salutation  is  also  placed  flush  with  the  left-hand 
margin  directly  below  the  inside  address.  It  is  used 
simply  as  a  mark  of  respect  and  should  be  as  simple  and 
inconspicuous  as  possible.  The  correct  forms  are  "Dear 
Sir:",  in  addressing  a  man;  "Gentlemen:",  in  address- 
ing a  firm  or  corporation;  "Dear  Madam:",  in  address- 
ing a  woman,  whether  married  or  unmarried;  "Ladies:  ", 
in  addressing  a  firm  or  company  of  women.  If  greater 
formality  is  desired,  the  word  "My"  may  be  prefixed  to 
"Dear  Madam:",  or  "Dear  Sir:".  In  this  case  it  should 
be  noted  that  the  second  word  is  not  capitalized.  The 
form  is  "My  dear  Sir:",  or  "My  dear  Madam:". 

In  case  the  person  addressed  is  personally  known  to 
the  writer,  but  the  letter  is  a  business  communication, 
it  is  proper  to  use  *'My  dear  Mr.  Smith:"  or  ''My  dear 


116  Business  English 

Miss  Jones:",  as  the  salutation.  The  same  forms  may  be 
used  with  "My"  omitted  when  there  is  occasion  for  still 
less  formality.  Salutations  other  than  those  mentioned 
are  not  in  correct  form,  and  should  not  be  used  in  busi- 
ness letters.  "Dear  Sirs"  is  passing  out  of  use.  The 
salutation  is  followed  by  the  colon  or  comma  (never  the 
semicolon),  with  or  without  the  dash.  The  colon  alone 
is  best  and  is  now  coming  into  general  use. 

Some  enterprising  firms  incline  to  the  practice  of 
omitting  the  salutation  on  the  ground  that  it  is  unneces- 
sary and  takes  away  from  the  personal  appeal  of  the 
letter.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  use  of  conventions  of 
this  kind  is  so  general  that  if  the  forms  are  correct  they 
are  unnoticed,  and  the  reader's  eye  naturally  first  strikes 
the  beginning  of  the  message. 

Exercises 

Rewrite  the  following  inside  addresses  and  salutations 
in  correct  form : 

1  Thomas  A.  Edison,  Inc.,  3  Messrs.  Scott  and  Bonne, 

Orange,  N.  J.  Boston,  Mass. 

Dear  Sir;  Dear  Sirs: 

2  Miss  Alice  Brown,  4  Mr.  Arthur  Wall, 

Elmhurst,  Iowa,  Oakland,  Cal. 

Dear  Miss:  My  Dear  Sir: 

Write  the  following  introductions  and  salutations 
correctly : 

1  frederick  brown  mountain  lakes  new  jersey 

2  John  fulton  yoimg  physician  58  collins  st  pittsburg  penn 

3  the  novelty  manufacturing  company  youngstown  ohio  gentlemen 

4  prof  j  scott  dark  northwestern  university  evanston  illinois  my 
dear  sir 

5  fredrick  a  smith  inc  517  park  place  n  y  city  dear  sir 

6  mr  j  r  tomlinson  president  of  the  trust  and  savings  bank  clinton 
iowa  dear  sir 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       117 

7  mr  Julius  haight  sec  of  the  board  of  education  room  12  brewster 
building  scranton  penn  my  dear  sir 

8  the  public   service  company  Jefferson   st  white  plains   minn 
gentlemen 

9  american  book  company  100  Washington  square  new  york  city 
gentlemen 

10  messrs  barker  and  whitehouse  bankers  4  cathedral  lane  london 
england 

11  mr  John  wanamaker  broadway  and  ninth  street  new  york  city 
dear  sir 

12  prof  John  riley  dean  of  the  graduate  school  bristol  college  bristol 
england 

13  richardson  and  smith  furniture  dealers  882  cass  street  aurora  Illinois 

14  swanson  and  Johnson  dressmakers  carter  building  kalamazoo 
mich  mesdames 

15  b  altman  and  company  fifth  ave  and  34th  street  new^york 
gentlemen 

The  Body  of  the  Letter 

So  far  as  form  is  concerned,  there  is  little  to  be  said 
about  the  body  of  the  letter.  It  should  be  written  or 
typed  in  ink  that  is  not  inharmonious  with  the  heading 
(if  a  letterhead  is  used)  and  that  is  as  legible  as  possible. 
Black  and  blue-black  are  the  best  colors  for  ordinary 
purposes. 

The  body  of  the  letter  should  be  well  displayed  on  the 
page.  If  the  letter  is  short,  margins  should  be  wide  and 
ample  space  should  be  left  at  the  top.  In  typewritten 
letters  of  ordinary  length  the  lines  should  be  single 
spaced  with  double  spaces  between  the  paragraphs.  In 
the  pen-written  letter  twice  as  much  space  should  usu- 
ally be  left  between  the  paragraphs  as  between  the  in- 
dividual lines. 

All  the  paragraphs  should  begin  the  same  distance 
from  the  margin,  and  this  should  be  the  same  for  all 
letters  regardless  of  the  length  of  the  salutation.   Some 


118  Business  English 

writers  begin  the  first  paragraph  directly  under  the  end 
of  the  salutation,  wherever  this  happens  to  come,  and 
begin  all  other  paragraphs  a  certain  fixed  distance  from 
the  margin,  say  ten  spaces  or  one  inch.  This  form  is  not 
correct.  Among  progressive  business  houses  there  is  a 
growing  tendency  to  begin  all  paragraphs  at  the  margin, 
and  to  separate  the  paragraphs  only  by  wider  spaces. 
The  more  conservative  houses,  however,  still  indent  the 
paragraphs. 

If  more  than  one  page  is  necessary  for  the  letter,  the 
second  page  should  not  have  a  letterhead,  but  should  be 
of  the  same  size  and  quality  of  paper  as  the  first  page. 
It  may  have  the  name  and  address  of  the  sender  in  the 
upper  left-hand  corner.  It  should  have  in  the  upper 
right-hand  corner  the  name  of  the  person  to  whom  the 
letter  is  sent  and  the  number  of  the  page.  Care  should 
be  taken  to  see  that  the  last  page  of  the  letter  does 
not  contain  simply  the  complimentary  close  and  the 
signature.  A  different  arrangement  of  the  margins  and 
spaces  on  the  previous  page  will  make  it  possible,  either 
to  complete  the  letter  on  the  page,  which  is  preferable, 
or  to  put  a  larger  amount  of  matter  on  the  last  page. 

Exercise 

Rewrite  the  following  section  of  a  letter  in  correct 
form  throughout: 

R.  F.  D.  Route  #2 
Dubuque,  la.  Aug.  11,  '16. 
Sears,  Roebuck  &  Co., 
Chicago, 

Dear  Sirs : 

Please  send  me  one  of  your  large  cat- 
alogues, and  full  information  about  farm  implements. 
I  should  also  like  to  inquire  how  long  it 
would  take  to  make  delivery  of  goods. 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       119 

Complimentary  Close 

Like  the  salutation,  the  complimentary  close  is  simply 
a  formal  expression  of  respect  and  should  be  as  incon- 
spicuous as  possible.  It  should  begin  below  the  message, 
about  half  way  across  the  page,  and  should  not  be  pre- 
ceded by  such  expressions  as  "I  am,"  "I  beg  to  re- 
main," or  "Believe  me." 

The  forms  most  approved  for  business  letters  are, 
"Yours  truly,"  "Yours  very  truly,"  "Very  truly  yours." 
There  seems  to  be  little  necessity  for  other  forms.  In 
the  case,  however,  of  letters  written  to  an  acknowledged 
superior  in  position,  "respectfully"  may  be  substituted 
for  "truly." 

"Cordially,"  "sincerely,"  and  "faithfully,"  should 
be  reserved  for  friendly  and  social  communications. 
Many  persons  feel  that  when  these  are  used  in  business 
letters,  the  writer  is  becoming  too  familiar.  Inasmuch  as 
the  complimentary  close  is  only  a  form,  it  should  not 
distract  attention  from  the  message.  Only  the  first  word 
of  the  complimentary  close  should  be  capitalized,  and 
the  words  should  never  be  abbreviated. 

Some  concerns  make  a  practice  of  varying  the  com- 
plimentary close  to  suit  special  conditions.  "Yours  for 
more  business*,"  "Yours  for  quick  action,"  "Yours 
persistently,"  are  only  a  few  illustrations.  Such  eccen- 
tricities may  have  slight  value  in  a  certain  class  of  sales 
letters,  but  as  a  rule  they  are  as  much  out  of  place  as  the 
old-fashioned  "Your  humble  and  obedient  servant." 

Exercises 

Rewrite  the  following  complimentary  closes  in  correct 
form: 

1  Y'rs  resp'lly,  3  Yours  faithfully, 

2  Yours  Very  Truly,  4  Yours  respectively. 


120  Business  English 

The  Signature 

The  signature  is  written  below  the  complimentary 
close  and  as  near  the  right-hand  margin  as  convenient. 
If  the  name  and  position  of  the  writer  appears  on  the 
letterhead,  the  signature  only  need  appear  at  the  bot- 
tom; otherwise,  it  should  be  followed  by  the  title,  if  any, 
as  ''Assistant  Secretary."  For  protection  in  case  of 
legal  questions,  it  is  wise  to  use  the  firm  or  corporation 
signature,  together  with  that  of  the  writer,  even  though 
he  is  the  president  or  the  secretary.  If  the  writer  has  no 
title,  the  name  of  the  firm  may  be  typewritten  and  be- 
low it  the  writer's  name  may  be  signed,  preceded  by  the 
word,  "by"  or  "per."  "By"  is  preferable.  In  no  case 
should  the  signature  of  the  writer,  if  a  man,  be  preceded 
by  any  title,  as  "Mr.,"  or  "Professor,"  or  "Dr." 

An  unmarried  woman  writing  to  a  stranger  may  put 
the  word  "Miss"  in  parenthesis  before  her  signature; 
as  "  (Miss)  Kate  Smith."  In  recent  years  it  has  become 
an  accepted  usage  to  omit  the  Miss,  except  where  its 
omission  might  be  misleading.  A  married  woman  may 
sign  her  full  name,  including  her  maiden  name,  and  be- 
low it  place  in  parenthesis  her  married  name,  as  "Kate 
Smith  Brown  (Mrs.  John  Brown)."  It  is  also  permissi- 
ble to  sign  simply  the  married  name,  as  "Mrs.  John 
Brown." 

It  frequently  happens  that  the  name  of  the  writer  does 
not  appear  in  the  letterhead  and  that  the  signature  is 
practically  illegible.  There  is  little  excuse  for  this,  but  if 
the  writer  is  unable  to  sign  his  own  name  in  such  a 
manner  that  it  can  easily  be  read,  he  should  have  it 
typewritten  and  sign  below  it.  A  rubber  stamp  fac- 
simile signature  is  acceptable  from  a  legal  standpoint, 
but  not  from  the  standpoint  of  correct  usage. 

Good  business  men  avoid  the  use  of  such  rubber- 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       1^1 

stamp  forms  as  "Dictated  by  Mr.  Jones,  but  signed 
during  his  absence  and  subject  to  correction."  It  is 
sometimes  unavoidable,  but  more  often  it  is  an  indica- 
tion that  the  writer  has  set  his  interest  above  that  of  the 
reader.  If  the  writer  considers  the  letter  unimportant,  as 
such  a  stamp  implies,  the  reader  is  also  likely  to  con- 
sider it  unimportant.  He  may  have  the  letter  signed  by 
someone  else,  with  an  initial,  but  he  should  not  offend 
the  reader  by  calling  attention  to  the  fact  that  he  lacked 
time  or  inclination  to  do  it  himself. 

Miscellaneous  Matters 

A  postscript  is  frequently  appended  to  a  letter,  but 
this  need  no  longer  be  heralded  by  the  familiar  ''P.S." 
Postscripts  nowadays  do  not  usually  contain  some- 
thing that  the  writer  has  forgotten,  but  something 
to  which  he  wishes  to  call  particular  attention  by  set- 
ting it  off  by  itself;  as,  for  instance,  ''We  have  only  213 
of  these  books  left.  An  early  order  is  therefore  advis- 
able." 

In  certain  cases  a  letter  is  written  to  a  firm,  but  it  is 
desired  that  it  should  have  the  personal  attention  of  a 
certain  individual.  This  is  usually  secured  by  writing 
above  the  salutation  ''Attention  of  Mr.  Smith."  This 
may  be  placed  below  the  salutation,  but  the  other  posi- 
tion is  preferable.  Other  personal  directions  for  the 
letter  may  also  be  placed  here.  Similar  directions  are 
occasionally  placed  on  the  envelope.  In  this  case  they 
should  occupy  the  lower  left-hand  corner. 

Directions  which  are  simply  useful  to  the  firm  sending 
the  letter  should  be  placed  in  the  most  inconspicuous 
position  and  occupy  the  least  possible  space.  The  best 
position  is  the  lower  left-hand  corner  of  the  page.  Here 
should  be  placed  the  initials  of  the  person  dictating  and 


122  Business  English 

Business  Envelope,  with  Type- written  Superscription 


SCHOOL    OF    COMMERCE 
ACCOUNTS   AND    FINANCe 

* . 

Profftscor  Frank  Alvah  Parsons, 

New  York  School  of  Pine  and  Applied  Art, 

2237-2239  Broadhray, 

New  Yortc  City. 

Plain  Envelope,  Pen-written  Superscription 


those  of  the  person  transcribing  the  letter,  and  any  other 
data  that  are  useful  only  to  the  firm  sending  the  letter. 
It  is  not  correct  nor  is  it  courteous  to  place  in  a  con- 


The  Mechanical  Make-up  of  the  Letter       123 

spicuous  part  of  the  page  ''Dictated  by  John  W.  Smith 
to  J.  Harper. "  These  matters  are  not  properly  part  of 
the  message. 

There  is  a  correct  and  an  incorrect  way  of  folding  the 
letter  and  inclosing  it  in  the  envelope.  The  best  form  is 
to  fold  the  letter  so  that  the  bottom  edge  is  even  with 
the  top  or  about  a  quarter  of  an  inch  below  it.  The 
right-hand  third  is  then  folded  over  upon  the  middle 
third,  and  the  left-hand  third  folded  over  in  such  a  way 
that  it  comes  within  about  one-half  inch  of  the  first 
crease.  It  is  then  convenient  for  inclosing  and  is  easy 
to  open. 

Some  firms  fold  the  bottom  half  of  the  letter  in  such  a 
way  that  a  part  of  the  letterhead  is  visible  as  soon  as 
the  letter  is  opened.  Like  most  other  fads,  this  lacks 
sufficient  utility  to  justify  the  departure  from  accepted 
usage. 

The  letter  should  be  placed  in  the  envelope  so  that 
the  free  edge  will  come  towards  the  flap,  or  back  of  the 
envelope,  and  all  inclosures  should  be  placed  toward 
the  front  of  the  envelope  or  folded  within  the  letter. 

The  envelope  itself  should  have  as  a  superscription, 
the  complete  mailing  address  of  the  person  or  firm  to 
whom  it  is  to  be  sent,  with  only  such  abbreviations  as 
are  authorized.  The  following  arrangements  are  correct: 

Mr.  John  Jones,  Mr.  John  Jones 

32  Waverly  Place,  32  Waverly  Place 

New  York  City.  New  York  City 

Exercises 

Write  in  proper  form,  with  correct  capitalization  and 
punctuation,  the  given  parts  of  the  following  letters : 

1  8  locust  st  utica  n  y  sept  3  1916  wm  Wallace  esq  chardon  ohio  dear 
sir  yours  truly  horace  smith 


1^4  Business  English 

2  room  43  tribune  bldg  harrisburg  penn  oct  13  1915  messrs  clay  ton 
brooks  and  grijQ&n  cor  central  park  and  west  high  st  sioux  city 
iowa  gentlemen  yours  truly  harrisburg  tube  company  james 
mason  sec 

3  207  center  st  plainfield  michigan  the  spot  cash  grocery  121  main 
st  joliet  illinois  gentlemen  yours  mrs  christine  gordon 

4  1115  west  10th  street  st  louis  mo  July  13  1916  dr  1  a  parsons 
director  of  the  free  medical  dispensary  98  chester  road  birming- 
ham  england  dear  sir  yours  respectfully  miss  jane  patten 

5  office  of  henry  barto  and  co  bankers  33  wall  st  new  york  city  usa 
sept  30  gary  price  esq  34  elm  grove  road  cotham  bristol  england 
dear  sir  yours  respectfully 

6  Courtney  house  gloucester  road  Cardiff  wales  april  2  1906  miss 
Caroline  goodman  Vo  dresdener  bank  hamburg  germany  sincerely 
yours  abner  brown 

7  mr  silas  anderson  r  f  d  no  3  danbury  conn  dear  sir  yours  truly 
acme  floral  company  15  curzon  st  portland  maine 

8  courtland  brown  m  a  university  of  illinois  urbana  illinois  dear  sir 
yours  respectfully  george  davis  box  26  gary  ind 


CHAPTER  III 

OFFICIAL  AND  SOCIAL  FORMS        ; 

Oflacial  Letters 

It  frequently  happens  in  business  that  letters  are 
written  on  matters  that  lie  outside  the  regular  field  of 
business;  in  other  words,  letters  in  which  the  question 
of  monetary  profit  is  not  directly  concerned.  They  are 
called  ''official  letters"  since  they  are  sent  usually  to 
government  officials,  officers  of  a  society,  members  of  a 
committee,  or  officials  of  institutions  other  than  those 
of  a  money-making  character.  They  are  also  written 
sometimes  to  the  officers  of  a  corporation  on  matters 
that  lie  outside  the  routine  business.  Such  letters  would 
also  be  classed  as  official  letters. 

The  official  letter  differs  from  the  business  letter 
mainly  in  form.  It  is  usually  written  on  stationery  dif- 
ferent from  that  used  for  business  letters.  There  are  no 
standards  of  usage  that  have  been  generally  adopted 
for  the  size  and  shape  of  this  paper,  but  as  a  rule  it  is  in 
the  form  of  a  folder  similar  to  the  ordinary  note  paper. 
Sometimes  it  is  in  the  ordinary  size,  8 J  by  11  inches, 
and  sometimes  it  is  only  about  half  this  size.  The  letter- 
head usually  contains  only  the  name  and  the  official  po- 
sition and  address  of  the  writer.  The  general  preference 
is  to  have  this  on  what  would  ordinarily  be  considered 
the  back  page  of  the  folder.  This  is,  of  course,  the  first 
page  to  be  written  on.  If  a  second  page  is  necessary  the 
other  outside  page  is  used. 

125 


'  126  Business  English 

There  are  some  differences  in  style  and  tone  between 
the  official  letter  and  the  ordinary  business  letter.  Offi- 
cial letters  themselves,  however,  differ  in  this  respect. 
They  can  best  be  considered  under  two  headings,  — 
the  "formal,"  and  the  "informal." 

Formal  Official  Letters 

Formal  letters  are  those  written  to  government  oflB- 
cials,  members  of  congress,  officers  of  the  army  and  navy 
and  others  in  high  positions,  and  generally  to  all  busi- 
ness men  except  those  with  whom  the  writer  has  close 
personal  acquaintance.  The  informal  letters  are  those 
to  personal  acquaintances  of  the  writer. 

In  both  cases  the  mechanical  make-up  of  the  official 
letter  differs  in  one  important  respect  from  that  of  the 
ordinary  business  letter.  The  inside  address  is  written 
at  the  close  of  the  letter  at  the  left-hand  side  instead  of 
above  the  salutation.  In  the  case  of  the  formal  letter, 
all  titles  should  be  given  in  full;  no  abbreviations  should 
be  used.  As  correctness  in  this  matter  is  absolutely  nec- 
essary, it  is  worth  while  to  give  here  a  brief  explanation 
of  the  common  titles : 

The  titles  "Reverend"  and  "Honorable,"  and  the 
foreign  title  "Sir"  should  be  used  with  the  first  names 
unless  "Mr."  is  included,  as  "Reverend  Samuel  Jeffer- 
son." "Reverend  Jefferson"  is  incorrect.  When  used 
in  the  body  of  a  letter,  "the"  should  precede  the  title, 
as  "the  Honorable  James  Gordon  will  address  the 
meeting,"  or  "the  Reverend  Mr.  Knox  hopes  to  be 
present." 

With  the  title  of  "Doctor"  or  "Professor"  the  first 
name  may  or  may  not  be  used,  according  to  choice,  as 
"Professor  Wildman"  or  "Professor  John  R.  Wild- 
man."  "Prof.  Wildman"  is  not  allowable. 


Official  and  Social  Forms  127 

Formal  Official  Letter 

c^-tn%f  ^-^"^    4>^^-»*/i^  ^c^'yL.ox.^'^^^^     ^^^^c/i-^    a^ 
a^B-T^i^y>^X<!*-A^    Ojf.    -^  Ct^  ^i^^^  Uxi^xZy^oCciZZ.. 

Under  the  laws  of  the  United  States  no  fixed  titles  are 
attached  to  any  of  the  federal  officers.  Certain  rules, 
however,  which  have  been  established  by  custom  should 
be  followed. 


128  Business  English 

The  President  should  be  addressed  The  President,  A 
governor  should  be  addressed  His  Excellency  the  Gover- 
nor, and  a  mayor  His  Honor  the  Mayor. 

All  judges  and  justices,  with  members  of  Congress 
and  members  of  a  State  legislature  are  entitled  to  "Hon- 
orable." Senators  of  the  United  States  are  usually  ad- 
dressed ''Senator,"  as  Senator  Henry  Cabot  Lodge,  or 
Honorable  Henry  Cabot  Lodge,  United  States  Senate,  if 
the  Senate  Chamber  is  used  as  the  destination  of  the 
letter. 

Members  of  the  House  of  Representatives  are  ad- 
dressed "Honorable,"  as  Honorable  Carter  Glass,  House 
of  Representatives,  In  state  legislatures  the  same  usage 
prevails. 

Titles  are  written  out  in  full,  however  long  they  may 
be,  as  "Lieutenant-General." 

Titles  that  indicate  temporary  positions  such  as  "Su- 
perintendent," "Agent,"  etc.,  are  written  after  the 
name,  as  Mr.  John  Stuart,  Agent.  Honorary  degrees, 
likewise,  follow  the  name  and  are,  unlike  titles,  gener- 
ally abbreviated,  as  "D.D.,"  "LL.D.,"  etc. 

As  it  is  very  important  in  formal  official  letters  that 
the  correct  titles  should  be  used,  the  student  should 
familiarize  himself  with  the  title  or  titles  of  any  person 
to  whom  he  writes  such  a  communication. 

In  the  formal  letter,  the  salutation  is  usually  "Sir." 
The  complimentary  close  is  "Respectfully"  or,  "Very 
respectfully."  In  the  body  of  the  letter  the  strictest 
formality  is  observed;  no  colloquial  expressions  are  per- 
missible; no  abbreviations  should  be  used.  Frequently 
the  third  person  is  used  throughout  in  speaking  of  the 
writer.  The  language  is  dignified  to  the  point  of  cold- 
ness and  stereotyped  phrases  are  not  objectionable. 
The  following  example  will  illustrate: 


Official  and  Social  Forms  129 

121  West  Broadway, 
New  York  City, 

September  1,  1916. 
Sir: 

In  accordance  with  your  instructions  a  careful  in- 
vestigation has  been  made  into  the  method  at  present 
employed  by  the  Blanco  Specialty  Company  in  selling 
the  "English  tea  pot." 

The  detailed  report  of  this  investigation  together 
with  suggestions  for  certain  changes  in  the  method  is 
herewith  inclosed. 

Should  there  be  any  points  upon  which  further 
information  is  desired,  the  undersigned  will  be  glad  to 
consider  them  at  your  request. 

Respectfully  yours, 

Forrest  Clark 
Mr.  Samuel  Blank,  President, 
The  Blanco  Specialty  Company, 
New  York  City. 

Informal  Official  Letters 

In  writing  to  a  person  with  whom  you  are  personally 
acquainted,  it  would  be  undesirable  to  use  the  stilted 
formal  style.  The  mechanical  make-up  of  the  letter, 
however,  should  be  the  same  as  that  of  the  formal  letter, 
with  the  exception  that  the  inside  address,  though 
placed  at  the  bottom  of  the  letter,  should  contain  only 
such  title  as  you  would  ordinarily  use  in  addressing  the 
reader.  In  all  other  respects  the  informal  letter  is  the 
exact  opposite  of  the  formal.  Like  the  social  letter, 
it  may  be  of  any  style  that  the  writer  chooses;  the 
only  requirement  is  that  it  should  be  adapted  to  the 
reader. 

The  salutation  is  usually  "Dear  Smith,"  or  "Dear 
Mr.  Smith, "  or  "Dear  Jack,"  or  anything  else  the  writer 
pleases.  The  inside  address,  if  used  at  all,  is  placed  at 
the  end  as  in  the  formal  official  letter.  The  complimen- 


130  Business  English 

tary  close   may  be,  "Sincerely,"    or    "Cordially,"  or 
"Faithfully."    Others  are  frequently  used. 


Informal  Official  Letter 

Uay  6,  1915. 


Dear  Jfr.  Smith  i 

A  financial  statemnt  of  the  activities  of  the  Educational 
Coimlttee  for  the  past  season  has  Just  come  to  hand,  show- 
ing a  profit  of  #547.22. 

That  Is  splendid.   £ach  division  of  the  work  has  done  well. 
The  Book  Sales  division  has  added  a  liberal  profit.   The 
Building  of  an  Advertisement  Cotirse  has  shown  a  decided 
profit.   The  Public  Speaking  Course,  a  new  departure,  has 
taken  In  more  of  the  Le8gue*s  membership  than  any  other 
series  of  lectures,  (83^)  and  has  been  expollted  to  consider- 
able  extent  In  Associated  Advertising.   This  course,  too, 
has  yielded  Its  profit. 

Your  Chairman,  Mason  Brltton,  Is  to  be  highly  congratulated. 
But  he  could  never  have  achieved  such  results  without  the 
sincere  cooperation  which  you  have  given  the  work.   It  Is 
such  cooperation,  fellow<Hvorkers,  that  will  make  the  League 
go  forward  to  greater  achievement. 

I  want  to  sincerely  thank  and  ooiq;>llfflent  you  and  your  fellow 
members  of  the  ISducatlonal  COBnittee  for  the  acconqpllshment 
of  so  successful  an  undertaking. 

Cordially  yours. 


-/'UaAM  ?2^^j;^«<i. 


President. 


Ur.  John  B.  Smith, 
One  uadlson  Avenue, 
Hew  York  City. 


Exercises  (formal  official  letters) 

1  Write  a  letter  to  the  governor  of  your  state  requesting  his  pres- 
ence at  the  centennial  of  your  home  town,  and  asking  him  if  he 
will  address  the  citizens. 


Official  and  Social  Forms  131 

2  Write  the  governor's  reply. 

3  Write  a  letter  to  your  representative  in  the  state  legislature  ask- 
ing that  he  interest  himself  in  the  cause  of  equal  suffrage  in  your 
state. 

4  Write  his  reply. 

5  Write  to  the  city  council  in  your  city  requesting  that  there  be 
more  adequate  lighting  of  the  street  on  which  you  live. 

Exercises  (informal  official  letters) 

1  James  Forbes,  advertising  manager  for  the  Golden  Rule  Store, 
and  President  of  the  Ad  Men's  League  of  Superior,  Minnesota, 
writes  to  Mr.  Willis  Brown,  Editor  of  the  Superior  Leader, 
requesting  him  to  address  the  League.   Write  the  letter. 

2  Considering  yourself  a  merchant  in  a  town  of  five  thousand  in- 
habitants in  the  Middle  West,  write  to  another  merchant  in  your 
town  suggesting  the  advisability  of  having  a  Home  Coming  Week 
and  asking  his  opinion. 

3  Write  the  merchant's  answer. 


Informal  Social  Letters 

Social  letters,  like  official  letters,  may  be  divided  into 
two  classes:  the  informal  and  the  formal.  The  informal 
is  the  larger  class,  and  includes  all  general  correspond- 
ence and  most  invitations,  acceptances  and  regrets,  and 
the  like,  when  sent  to  personal  acquaintances.  Informal 
letters  are  always  written  in  the  first  person.  The  formal 
class  includes  invitations,  acceptances  and  regrets  writ- 
ten for  ceremonious  occasions  such  as  weddings  and  re- 
ceptions. Formal  letters  are  written  in  the  third  person. 

Usage  has  not  standardized  the  form  of  the  social 
letter  and  many  different  forms  are  equally  correct. 
The  paj>er  used  is  the  ordinary  small  folder  sheet.  The 
best  color  is  white,  although  women  are  permitted  to  use 
tints.  Linen  and  fabric  textures  are  preferred  for  women ; 
bond  paper  for  men.  The  paper  for  men  is  usually  of  a 
somewhat  larger  size  than  that  for  women. 


132  Business  English 

Informal  Social  Letter 

Z)rdi     Ccdcui/o 


Official  and  Social  Forms  133 

A  social  note  that  fills  not  more  than  four  pages  of  a 
single  sheet  may  be  arranged  in  almost  any  order  the 
writer  prefers.  For  most  purposes,  however,  it  is  best  to 
write  on  pages  one  and  three,  and  then  if  the  material 
requires,  on  pages  two  and  four.  If  it  is  apparent  that 
the  letter  will  be  more  than  four  pages  long,  it  is  best 
to  fill  the  pages  in  regular  order  and  to  number  them. 
The  address  of  the  sender  and  the  date  should  be 
placed  in  the  upper  right-hand  corner  of  the  first  page, 
an  inch  or  more  from  the  top.  In  the  case  of  a  brief 
note,  the  street  and  address  is  considered  sufficient  with- 
out the  name  of  the  city,  provided  the  letter  is  sent  to 
some  one  in  the  same  city. 

The  salutation  is  determined  by  the  degree  of  friend- 
ship between  the  writer  and  the  reader.  The  use  of  the 
word  "dear,"  however,  does  not  suggest  affection. 
"Dear  Miss  Brown  "  could  be  written  to  a  comparative 
stranger,  but  it  is  decidedly  more  formal  to  write,  "My 
dear  Miss  Brown."  The  use  of  the  word  "friend"  in 
place  of  "dear"  is  vulgar.  The  following  forms  are  cor- 
rect: 

My  dear  Mrs.  Smith, 

Dear  Miss  Brown, 

My  dear  Mrs.  Jones, 

Dear  Frank. 

For  the  complimentary  close  the  forms,  "Sincerely 
yours,"  "Faithfully  yours,"  and  "Cordially  yours"  are 
most  appropriate.  "Truly"  and  "respectfully,"  should 
be  reserved  for  business  letters. 

The  signature,  whether  of  a  man  or  a  woman,  should 
consist  of  the  surname  with  the  given  name  ])refixed: 
"Thomas  Brown";  "iVlice  Brown."  If,  however,  Mrs. 
Brown  is  writing  to  a  comparative  stranger,  she  may, 


134  Business  English 

as  in  a  business  letter,  add  her  married  name  in  paren- 
thesis underneath  her  signature;  as  "  (Mrs.  Thomas 
Brown)."  Under  similar  circumstances  an  unmarried 
woman  may  prefix  to  her  signature  the  word  "Miss" 
in  parenthesis,  as  (Miss)  Alice  Brown. 

The  following  examples  will  illustrate  the  informal 
social  notes  and  invitations: 

439  East  Thirty-third  Street, 
October  10,  1916. 
My  dear  Mr.  Smith: 

Mr.  Brown  and  I  have  just  returned  to  the  city 
and  have  learned  that  you  are  to  be  here  for  the  next 
few  weeks.  We  are  anxious  to  see  you  and  to  have  a 
good  talk  with  you  about  old  times.  Can  you  not  ar- 
range to  take  dinner  with  us  next  Wednesday  evening, 
October  Nineteenth, at  seven  o'clock? 

We  hope  that  you  have  no  previous  engagements 
that  will  prevent  your  coming. 

Most  cordially  yours, 

Alice  Brown 
Mr.  John  Smith, 
Biltmore  Hotel, 
New  York  City. 


Biltmore  Hotel, 

October  the  Eleventh. 
My  dear  Mrs.  Brown: 

I  am  delighted  to  have  this  opportunity  to  see 
you  and  Mr.  Brown  once  more  and  take  great  pleas- 
ure in  accepting  your  invitation  for  next  Wednesday 
evening,  October  the  nineteenth. 

I  believe  that  I  have  a  few  items  of  news  that  will 
interest  you. 

Sincerely  yours, 

John  Smith 
Mrs.  William  Brown, 
439  East  Thirty-third  Street, 
New  York  City. 


OflBcial  and  Social  Forms  135 

Biltmore  Hotel, 

October  the  Eleventh. 
My  dear  Mrs.  Brown: 

It  is  with  a  great  deal  of  regret  that  I  am  com- 
pelled to  decline  your  cordial  invitation  for  next 
Wednesday  evening.  A  previous  engagement  makes  it 
impossible  for  me  to  accept. 

Faithfully  yours, 

John  Smith 
Mrs.  William  Brown, 
439  East  Thirty-third  Street, 
New  York  City. 

Exercises  (informal  social  letters) 

1  Mrs.  John  Ruterford,  a  friend  of  yours,  has  recently  been  injured 
in  an  automobile  accident.  You  are  sending  her  some  flowers  and 
a  letter  expressing  your  sympathy.  Write  the  letter. 

2  You  have  been  visiting  an  old  lady,  a  friend  of  your  mother. 
Upon  your  return  home  you  wish  to  thank  her  for  her  hospitality. 
Write  the  letter. 

3  You  have  been  visiting  a  school  friend.  Write  to  her  thanking  her 
for  making  your  visit  pleasant. 

4  Write  to  a  business  friend  asking  him  to  take  luncheon  with  you 
at  Hotel  Astor  and  talk  over  a  matter  of  mutual  interest. 

5  Write  his  acceptance. 

6  An  old  friend  whom  you  very  much  wished  to  see  has  called  in 
your  absence.  Write  expressing  your  regret  that  you  were  not  at 
home  and  invite  him  to  dine  with  you. 

7  An  author  has  sent  you  a  complimentary  copy  of  his  book  that 
you  have  read  with  interest.  Write  thanking  him  for  his  courtesy 
and  express  your  appreciation  of  the  book. 

8  You  have  been  made  chairman  of  the  welfare  work  in  your 
church.  Write  to  a  friend  asking  her  to  serve  on  a  committee. 

Formal  Social  Letters 

For  ceremonious  occasions,  such  as  weddings,  recep- 
tions, and  the  like,  the  invitation  should  be  written  in 
the  third  person.    Engraved  cards  are  often  used,  in 


136  Business  English 

which  only  the  date  of  the  function  and  the  name  of 
the  guest  are  to  be  supplied.  Whether  partly  or  entirely 
written  by  hand  such  an  invitation  is  issued  in  the  name 
of  host  and  hostess  jointly  and  runs  as  follows: 


699  fi^t  ^e^u^^nl^.-'^^^t  t/t'Keet 
^^4ty.  a/rul  ^^^^.  yPtZ/tctTn  i/invtA 

(%h  tJite^dct^  €me'i^i/na/,  ^bz'tztcct^ii,  ^ne  le^n/A 


The  nature  of  the  occasion  determines  whether  or  not 
a  "formal  invitation  requires  an  answer.  For  a  din- 
ner invitation  a  reply  should  be  sent .  immediately .  A 
reception  invitation,  on  the  other  hand,  does  not  de- 
mand a  reply.  It  is  considered  good  form,  however,  if 
one  cannot  attend,  to  send  one's  card  by  messenger  or 
mail.   Church  weddings  require  no  reply. 

When  the  sender  of  an  invitation  desires  a  reply,  and 
it  is  not  apparent  from  the  nature  of  the  occasion  that 
it  is  necessary,  the  letters  "R.s.v.p."  are  frequently 
placed  below  at  the  left.  They  stand  for  the  French,  — 
"Repondez  s'il  vous  plait."  Only  the  first  of  these  ini- 
tials should  be  capitalized.  Many  persons  now  incline 
toward  the  substitution  of  the  English  words,  "An 
answer  is  requested." 

An  answer  to  an  invitation  should  always  follow  the 


Official  and  Social  Forms  137 

form,  and  as  nearly  as  possible  the  phraseology,"  of  the 
original.  If  the  invitation  is  formal,  the  answer  must  be 
formal  and  in  the  third  person.  An  answer  in  the  third 
person  must  never  be  signed.  In  fact,  the  formal  and  in- 
formal must  never  be  combined.  It  should  be  one  or  the 
other:  first  person  or  third  person  throughout. 
The  following  examples  will  illustrate: 

509  Gould  Hall 
University  Heights 
Mr.  Wellington  Jones  accepts  with  pleasure  the  invi- 
tation of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  William  Smith  for  Tuesday 
evening,  January  the  tenth,  at  eight  o'clock. 
December  the  twenty -eighth. 


Mr.  Wellington  Jones  regrets  sincerely  that  approach- 
ing absence  from  the  city  prevents  his  acceptance  of 
the  kind  invitation  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  William  Smith  for 
Tuesday  evening,  January  the  tenth. 
University  Heights, 

December  the  twenty -eighth. 

The  inside  address  is  ordinarily  not  given  in  social 
letters.  If  it  is  included  in  the  informal  letter  it  should 
be  placed  below  the  letter,  at  the  left-hand  side  as  in  the 
official  letter.  In  any  case  the  superscription  on  the  en- 
velope should  be  complete  and  correct. 

The  proper  titles  in  case  of  a  man  are  "Mr.,"  "Dr." 
or  "Rev."  "Esquire,"  is  occasionally  used  in  place  of 
"Mr.,"  but  it  is  not  preferred.  A  married  woman,  unless 
widowed  or  divorced,  is  addressed  under  her  husband's 
name,  as  "Mrs.  Robert  Ames,"  not  "Mrs.  Mary  Ames." 
A  widow  may  retain  her  husband's  name  if  she  chooses. 

The  eldest  daughter  is  addressed  simply  as  "Miss 
Ames,"  and  her  younger  sisters  are  addressed  as  "Miss 
Alice  Ames,"  "Miss  Margaret  Ames,"  and  the  like. 


138  Business  English 

Invitations  to  husband  and  wife  should  be  addressed 
to  them  jointly,  as  "Mr.  and  Mrs.  Thomas  Brown." 
The  daughters'  invitations  may  be  addressed  individu- 
ally, or  to  "The  Misses  Brown."  To  the  sons,  individ- 
ual invitations  must  be  sent.  A  reply  to  an  invitation 
issued  jointly  by  the  host  and  hostess  should  be  ad- 
dressed to  the  hostess  only,  not  to  both. 

Exercises  (formal  social  letters) 

1  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Gordon  Leigh  invite  Mr.  Stewart  Knight  to  dine 
with  them  formally  at  their  home,  54  Central  Park  West,  Decem- 
ber 24th,  1916.   Write  the  invitation. 

%  Write  Mr.  Knight's  acceptance. 

3  Mr.  Knight  will  not  be  in  the  city  December  24.  Write  a  letter 
expressing  his  regret. 

4  Mrs.  Clayton  Mills  is  presenting  her  daughter  Juliet  to  society  at 
a  tea  given  at  the  Ritz  Carlton  on  the  afternoon  of  November  10, 
1916.   Write  the  invitation  to  yourself. 

5  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Harold  Seymour  invite  you  to  attend  their  daugh- 
ter's wedding  at  their  country  home,  Cedarhurst,  Danbury,  Conn. 
Write  the  invitation. 

6  Write  your  acceptance. 

7  Write  an  invitation  to  Mr.  Marshall  Dyer  to  attend  a  dinner  and 
dance  given  by  you  at  Hotel  Gotham,  New  Year's  Eve,  1916. 

8  Write  a  letter  expressing  your  regret  at  not  being  able  to  attend. 


CHAPTER  IV 
REMITTANCES 

Silver  and  Stamps 

So  many  business  communications  involve  the  pay- 
ment of  money  that  it  is  advisable  to  know  the  most 
common  methods  of  remittance,  together  with  their 
advantages  and  disadvantages. 

Money,  in  the  form  of  silver  or  currency,  or  stamps, 
except  in  very  small  amounts,  should  never  be  remitted 
through  the  medium  of  the  ordinary  mail  service.  There 
is  no  certainty  of  safe  delivery.  Besides,  the  sender  can 
in  no  way  retain  or  receive  evidence  that  he  has  sent  the 
money  or  that  the  addressee  has  received  it. 

Money  should  be  remitted  in  such  a  form  that  the  re- 
ceiver may  convert  it  into  cash  without  expense  or  in- 
convenience, and  that  the  sender  may  receive  some  evi- 
dence of  the  addressee's  having  received  it. 

It  is  possible  to  disregard  this  rule  on  the  express  in- 
vitation of  the  payee,  who  volunteers  to  assume  all  risk. 
This  often  happens  in  offers  made  through  advertise- 
ments and  sales  letters. 

If  for  this  reason,  or  for  reasons  of  convenience,  it  is 
decided  to  remit  silver,  a  coin  card  should  be  used  for 
the  purpose.  A  coin  card  may  easily  be  made  by  cut- 
ting a  hole  of  the  proper  size  in  a  piece  of  stout  card- 
board. After  the  coin  is  inserted,  slips  of  paper  may  be 
pasted  over  each  side  to  hold  it  in  place.  Stamps  should 
be  wrapped  in  oiled  paper  and  inclosed  in  a  small  manila 
envelope. 

139 


140  Business  English 

Registered  Mail 

To  insure  special  care  in  transmission  and  correct  de- 
livery, valuable  letters,  papers,  and  other  articles  should 
be  registered.  A  return  receipt,  signed  by  the  recipient 
and  showing  delivery,  will  be  returned  to  the  sender,  if 
such  a  receipt  is  requested  at  the  time  of  mailing.  This 
receipt,  however,  does  not  furnish  any  direct  evidence  of 
the  contents  of  the  letter  or  parcel;  therefore  it  is  not  a 
complete  record  of  a  transaction,  and  for  that  reason  is 
not  ideal  for  business  purposes.  Registration  is  simply 
an  added  safeguard,  which  is  sufficient  for  most  cases 
that  do  not  involve  large  sums  or  matters  of  great  im- 
portance. 

Postal  Money  Order 

The  postal  money  order  is  a  simple  and  convenient 
method  of  making  remittances  and  it  furnishes  definite 
proof  of  the  amount  remitted.  Its  only  defect  is  that 
the  receipt  given  by  the  post  office  does  not  show  on  its 
face  the  name  of  the  remitter,  nor  is  it  a  receipt  from  the 
receiver  that  the  money  has  been  received.  For  send- 
ing amounts  up  to  twenty-five  dollars,  it  is  probably 
the  most  useful  form. 

Express  Money  Order 

The  express  money  order  bears  upon  its  face  the  name 
of  the  remitter  and  the  amount  remitted.  Before  being 
paid,  it  must  be  indorsed  by  the  receiver  by  signing 
his  name  on  the  back.  It  thus  becomes  a  complete  re- 
cord of  a  transaction.  After  payment,  however,  the  ex- 
press order  becomes  the  property  of  the  company  that 
issues  it.  The  express  order  is  cheaper  than  the  postal 
order  for  remitting  large  sums,  and  is  used  by  large  busi- 
ness houses. 


Remittances  141 

Express  Money  Order 


s  § 


EXPRKSS  MONEY  ORO£M  t 

AGENT  AT  POINT  OF  ISSUE 

The  Pan-American  Express  Company 


tA#MtN   COUNTERSiaNED 


P"^^«>jrn%,nt^SW 


AGREES  TO  TRANSMIT  AND 


^Z^T'T^.-fCY^, 


^ 


COO^^^O       ^ 


\^2<yyZ<<:Lr^.r-r:t^ Statk  or  /^f^..-£^'t^       name  of  RpiiTrm  ^ 


Bank  Draft 

A  bank  draft  may  be  made  to  serve  as  a  complete 
record  of  a  transaction  in  the  following  way :  The  draft 
is  drawn  payable  to  the  remitter's  own  order,  and  he  in- 
dorses it  to  the  person  who  is  to  receive  it.  The  receiver 
indorses  it  at  his  own  bank  where  he  cashes  it;  then  the 
draft  is  returned  to  the  bank  of  issue  where  it  becomes 
thereafter  available  to  the  remitter  as  a  receipt. 

Owing  to  the  risk  of  loss  or  delay  involved  in  ocean 
trafl5c,  foreign  drafts  are  drawn  in  triplicate;  upon  the 
payment  of  any  one,  the  others  become  invalid. 

Bank  Draft 


Voucher  82  ^—J^  /        / 

Rochester.  N.Y.,  -k^^^^^  ^% ^^ 

The  Genesee  National  Bank      ^^  a^/:^2. 

order  of  i^^^.^7^^^A^^^^.,^''3^f.^^i^/^J^^^^^  %  o3 / l/^ 


-Dollars 


'^"^'nZ'Zic'""""^"'  ^  ^-^2^^^!^^,^;^ 


142  Business  English 

Check 

Personal:  A  personal  check  is  a  form  of  sight  draft 
drawn  by  a  person  upon  a  bank  in  which  he  has  money 
on  deposit.  It  is  a  safe  and  convenient  way  of  paying 
money.  Moreover,  it  is  a  complete  record  of  a  transac- 
tion, since  it  bears  the  amount  and  name  of  the  remitter, 
and  also  the  name  of  the  receiver.  It  returns  to  the  re- 
mitter with  the  signature  of  the  receiver  on  the  back, 
and  becomes  a  receipt  for  the  amount  paid. 

The  remitter  should,  however,  bear  in  mind  that  in  large 
cities  there  is  a  charge  for  cashing  and  collecting  any 
•check  or  draft  drawn  upon  an  outside  bank.  A  debtor  in 
Constableville,  New  York,  should  not  send  to  New  York 
City  his  personal  check  without  adding  to  the  amount  of 
his  indebtedness  a  sum  sufficient  to  pay  the  collection 
charge  which  will  be  made  at  the  creditor's  bank. 

Certified  Check 


Nn.   Ly^  St.  Paul.^Mino., 


Pay  to  the  order  of. 


To  Minnesota  Trust  Company 

76  S(«te  Street 
St.  Paul.  MiiuietoM 


Certified  :  A  certified  check  is  a  check  of  a  depositor, 
drawn  to  the  order  of  some  person.  Across  the  face  of 
the  check  the  bank,  by  the  word  "good"  or  "certified," 
the  date,  and  the  signature  of  the  cashier  or  paying  teller, 
certifies  as  to  the  correctness  of  the  signature.  It  also 
certifies  that  the  account  of  the  remitter  is  in  funds  to 
meet  the  check  when  presented  for  payment  in  regular 
course. 


Remittances  143 

The  certified  check  is  a  convenient  means  of  remitting 
money  to  a  person  who  Kves  at  a  distance,  and  who  is 
not  acquainted  with  the  vaHdity  of  the  remitter's  credit. 

Cashier's  Check 


Chemical  National  Bank 

New  York,  .?fO&^>^  /^,  i9s=L. 

Pay  to  the  order  o/IT^T^/t?.^^  ^/.  (^f-^y^^-^  P^^^-'r?-^      5  ^^yJ'.'^fz^ 

JP^:^^<;^^.^?^p/^.--<^?.^^'^^  -^;^^-'~^^  y^  ^B^— nollarK 


Cashier's:  A  Cashier's,  Secretary's,  or  Treasurer's 
check  is  a  check  of  the  bank  on  itself.  It  is  an  order 
given  by  the  cashier  or  paying  teller  instructing  him  to 
pay  a  sum  of  money  to  the  person  mentioned  in  the 
check.  As  a  medium  of  exchange  it  is  equivalent  to  a 
certified  check  or  bank  draft. 

For  remitting  small  amounts  stamps  or  silver  may  be 
used.  For  sums  ranging  from  one  dollar  to  twenty-five 
'  the  postal  order  and  personal  check  are  the  most  useful. 
Larger  sums  may  be  remitted  by  express  order  or  by 
check.  Papers  and  articles  of  value  should  be  sent  by 
registered  mail. 

Exercises  for  Oral  Practise 

1  Henry  Brown  of  Danville,  Illinois,  orders  from  Reilly  and  Britton, 
Publishers,  Chicago,  one  copy  of  "Diane  of  the  Green  Van," 
price  $1.35  net.  He  incloses  his  check  in  payment.  For  what 
amount  should  it  be  made  out.^  Why.^  Could  he  have  paid  for 
the  book  in  a  less  expensive  way? 

2  I  see  in  a  mail  order  advertisement  that  I  can  secure  from  the 
Acme  Floral  Company,  Utica,  New  York,  six  Chinese  lily  bulbs 
for  25  cents.   How  shall  I  remit  the  money? 


144  Business  English 

3  Nathan  Graham  has  agreed  to  buy  at  Mountain  View,  New 
York,  a  summer  home  for  $5,000.  One  thousand  dollars  is  to  be 
paid  down,  the  remainder  on  the  installment  plan.  How  shall  he 
most  economically  remit  the  money  to  the  owner's  satisfaction, 
to  whom  he  is  a  perfect  stranger? 

4  I  have  in  my  possession  a  valuable  pin  belonging  to  my  sister  in 
Rochester.  How  may  I  safely  send  it  to  her.^ 

5  What  precaution  should  be  observed  in  remitting  stamps.^ 

6  John  Grey,  who  is  a  stranger  to  me  wishes  to  buy  from  my  store 
goods  amounting  to  $35.00,  and  in  payment  to  send  me  a  per- 
sonal check  by  mail.  I  wish  to  accomodate  him.  How  am  I  to 
secure  myself  against  being  cheated.^ 

7  How  can  I  send  $45  by  postal  order?  By  what  means  can  I  send 
that  amount  more  economically? 

8  As  a  complete  record  of  a  transaction,  what  advantage  has  the 
express  order  over  the  post-office  order? 

9  Under  what  circumstances  would  you  prefer  to  receive  a  certified 
check  rather  than  a  personal  check? 

10  Why  are  foreign  bank  drafts  issued  in  triplicate? 


CHAPTER  V 
TELEGRAMS   AND   CABLEGRAMS 

Essential  Qualities 

Telegrams  and  cablegrams  call  for  expression  that  is 
clear  and  at  the  same  time  brief.  Clearness  is  of  course 
of  first  importance  in  any  communication;  no  condensa- 
tion must  be  attempted  that  will  obscure  the  meaning  to 
be  conveyed,  or  make  the  message  subject  to  a  double 
interpretation.  If  the  meaning  cannot  be  made  clear  in 
ten  words,  by  all  means  use  as  many  words  as  are  nec- 
essary for  the  purpose.  Although  all  unnecessary  words 
should  be  omitted  for  the  sake  of  economy,  nothing  is 
gained  by  reducing  a  message  to  less  than  ten  words, 
since  the  minimum  charge  is  made  for  ten  words  or  less. 

In  condensing  a  telegram  it  is  permissible  to  omit  the 
first  personal  pronoun,  where  this  is  certain  to  be  under- 
stood. Other  condensation  should  consist  in  omitting 
descriptive  adjectives  and  adverbs  and  unimportant 
connectives,  and  in  making  one  word  serve  as  two  when- 
ever it  conveys  the  entire  meaning  intended. 

Verbose  Telegram: 

Hartford,  Conn. 
April  1,  1916 
Pullman  Company 
Grand  Central  Terminal 
New  York  City 

Please  make  reservation  of  one  section  on  Twentieth 
Century  Limited  express  for  Chicago  on  April  fourth. 
I  will  call  for  tickets  tomorrow. 

John  Smith 
145 


146  Business  English 

Improved: 

Hartford,  Conn. 
April  1,  1916 
Pullman  Company 
Grand  Central  Terminal 
New  York  City 

Please  reserve  section  Twentieth  Century  Chicago 
April  fourth.   Will  call  for  tickets  tomorrow. 

John  Smith 

Telegrams  (and  cablegrams)  must  be  clear,  regard- 
less of  punctuation.  The  telegraph  company  does  not 
hold  itself  responsible  for  punctuation.  For  this  reason 
it  is  wise  to  avoid  involved  and  complex  sentences. 

In  telegrams  on  official  matters  and  others  outside  the 
scope  of  ordinary  business,  it  is  wise  to  avoid  a  degree  of 
condensation  that  would  savor  of  parsimony  or  discour- 
tesy. Otherwise  the  problem  is  the  same  as  for  business 
telegrams. 

Verbose: 

New  York  City 
Feb.  5,  1916 
Mr.  Henry  Van  Tassel 
City  Club 
Chicago,  Illinois 

Regret  that  on  account  of  important  conference  I  shall 
be  unable  to  speak  before  City  Club  mass  meeting  next 
Wednesday  afternoon  four  o'clock. 

John  Carleton 

This  message  is  inexact  as  well  as  verbose,  because  it 
does  not  state  where  the  conference  is  to  be  held  and 
does  mention  the  hour  of  the  meeting.  The  reader 
might  be  misled  into  thinking  that  Mr.  Carleton  would 
be  in  Chicago  on  Wednesday,  but  could  not  speak  at 
four  o'clock. 


Telegrams  and  Cablegrams  147 

Improved: 

New  York  City 
Feb.  5,  1916 
Mr.  Henry  Van  Tassel 
City  Club 
Chicago,  Illinois 

Regret  that  important  conference  here  prevents  my 
coming  to  Chicago  to  address  meeting  Wednesday. 

John  Carleton 

What  has  been  said  about  telegrams  and  cablegrams 
will  also  apply  to  radiograms. 

Regulations 

The  Western  Union  Telegraph  and  Cable  Company 
furnishes  the  following  regulations  governing  the  count- 
ing and  charging  of  domestic  telegrams  passing  between 
points  within  the  United  States  and  Canada,  Inter- 
national telegrams  between  Mexico  and  the  aforesaid 
countries,  and  messages  between  the  Eastern  and  West- 
ern Hemispheres : 

Telegrams  must  be  written  upon  the '  form '  or '  blank ' 
prescribed  by  the  Telegraph  Company  for  that  purpose, 
or  must  be  attached  to  that  form  in  such  a  way  as  to 
leave  the  printed  caption  in  full  view  above  the  message 
when  written. 

The  highest  class  of  telegraph  service  is  the  full-rate 
expedited  service.  The  minimum  charge  is  for  ten  words. 
An  additional  charge  is  made  for  each  additional  word. 

The  night  telegram,  the  night  letter,  and  the  day 
letter,  are  sent  at  lower  rates.  The  only  disadvantages 
are  the  slower  delivery  and  the  prohibition  of  the  use  of 
a  code  in  these  messages. 

The  address  (including  a  title  following  or  preceding 
the  name)  is  free.  The  signature  is  free,  but  a  title  in  a 
signature  is  charged  for. 


148  Business  English 

Night  Telegram 

Voucher  41  NICHT    MESSAGE 

THE  GREAT  WESTERN  TELEGRAPH  COMPANY 


NUMBER 
516 

SENT  BV 

A. p. 

RECO  BY 

O.S. 

CHECK 

28    Collect 

Received  at 
Dated.  StPa 

Rutland,  Vt .                    Sept 

11,  iQ 

ul.  Minn.    Sept.  11,  19 

y^  Samuel  Holbrook  4  Co. 

Ship 

Rutland.  Vt . 

fast  freight  shuttleworth  wilton  rugs  three 

each 

patterns  naught  two  nine  nine  f  and  naught  three 

eiiCht 

six  1  all  in  size  eight  three  by  ten  six 

J.  B.  Johnstone  A.  Co 

Words  to  be  Counted  and  Charged  For 

1  Initial  letters,  surnames  of  persons,  names  of 
cities,  towns,  villages,  states,  and  territories,  and  of  the 
Canadian  Provinces,  or  abbreviations  of  such  names, 
are  each  counted  as  one  word. 

2  In  order  to  shorten  telegrams,  initials  of  a  long 
name  may  be  combined  and  used  as  one  word,  provided 
the  word  is  pronounceable. 

Examples :  Richard  E.  Davis,  R.  E.  D. 
Richard  E.  Davis,  Red. 

3  Abbreviations  of  weights  and  measures,  figures, 
decimal  points,  bars  of  division  (such  as  a  line  in 
the  fraction  one-fourth),  are  separately  counted 
and  charged  for  as  one  word. 

4  Compound  words,  with  or  without  a  hyphen,  if 
recognized  as  compounds  in  dictionaries,  count  as 
one  word. 


Telegrams  and  Cablegrams  149 

5  With  the  exception  of  the  period  and  interrogation 
point,  punctuation  marks  are  neither  counted  nor 
sent,  except  on  written  instructions  to  send  them. 

6  Each  letter  and  each  figure  of  a  group  are  counted 
and  charged  for  as  one  word 

7  In  ordinals  the  st,  d,  nd,  rd,  th,  are  counted  as  one 
word. 

8  F.  O.  B.,  and  C.  O.  D.  written  fob,  and  cod  are 
counted  as  one  word. 

9  Groups  of  letters  not  forming  dictionary  words, 
are  counted  at  the  rate  of  five  letters  or  fractions 
of  five  letters,  to  a  word.  When  groups  are  formed 
by  combining  dictionary  words,  each  dictionary 
word  is  counted  as  one  word. 

Examples: 

Vacation dictionary  word 1    word 

Faux  pas French  words 2  words 

J.  K.  E.  F initials 4  words 

Le  Brun surname 1    word 

North  Carolina state 1    word 

East  Aurora town 1    word 

J.  R.  Carter,  Sr 4  words 

Lbs abbreviation  of  weight 1    word 

5000000 figures 7  words 

Five  millions expressed  in  words 2  words 

Al letters  and  figures 2  words 

45.68 figures  and  decimal  point 5  words 

67f figures  and  bar  of  division 5  words 

3rd 2  words 

No.  620  West  123rd  St 10  words 

Ababa artificial  group  of  5  letters ....  1    word 

Ababax artificial  group  of  6  letters ...  2  words 

Dutimerodal.  .artificial  group  of  11  letters..  3  words 

Dothe improperly  combined 2  words 

Havyu mutilated  words 2  words 


150 

Business  English 

Exceptions: 

A.M 

.  ...Iword        C.O.D 

....  1  word 

P.M 

.  ...Iword        O.K 

....  1  word 

F.O.B 

.  .  .  .  1  word        Per  Cent  .  .  . . 

....  1  word 

If  the  sender  of  a  telegram  wishes  to  assure  himself 
that  his  message  has  been  sent  correctly  he  may  have  it 
repeated.  For  this  service  one-half  the  usual  rate  is 
charged  in  addition. 

Code  Messages 

If  the  sender  of  a  telegram  wishes  his  message  to  be 
stated  in  such  a  manner  that  it  is  intelligible  only  to  the 
receiver,  he  uses  a  code  that  will  serve  this  purpose  and 
at  the  same  time  is  less  expensive  than  the  message 
would  be  if  it  were  fully  written  out. 

The  following  rules  govern  code  messages : 

1  Code  words  must  be  pronounceable. 

2  No  code  word  may  contain  more  than  ten  letters. 

3  In  unpronounceable  code  words  each  letter  is  con- 
sidered a  separate  word  and  charged  for  as  such. 

Fast  Cablegrams 

Fast  cablegrams  may  be  written  in  any  language,  or 
artificial  words  susceptible  of  pronunciation  may  be 
employed.  In  plain-language  messages  each  word  of 
fifteen  letters  or  less  is  counted  as  a  word.  Words  of 
more  than  fifteen  letters  count  double.  In  code  mes- 
sages the  count  is  ten  letters  or  fraction  of  ten  to  the 
word.  No  code  word  should  contain  more  than  ten  let- 
ters, and  the  presence  of  one  code  word  in  an  otherwise 
plain-language  message  subjects  all  the  words  in  the 
message  to  the  ten-letter  count.  Cipher  words  consist- 
ing of  groups  of  figures  or  letters  are  counted  at  the  rate 


Telegrams  and  Cablegrams  151 

Cablegram 


POSTALTELEGRAPH  ^^  COMMERCIAL  CABLES 

CUlRCNei  M.   M«CR*Y.   P«I«iote.T 

CABLEGRAM 


Th»  PoiUI  T»ltar«ph-CtbU  Compiny  (lncorpef«t»d)  trtntmlti  »nd  dgnvtri  thli  mesMge  subject  to  »<«  Urmt  ind  condlllont  prInUa  on  tht  Btefc  ol  thl»  DUlifc. 


T 
I 


S»ad  iht  folXowlat  Cublrf'--  ^'boat  rrpmmtlag.  mtijeci  ro  ihttermttoii  eonitiilona  prinfd  as  tt>9  hack  btrtof  wblcb  art  brrtby  afreod  (o 

•li  January  11,     /^16 

To         DAVIS,   BTOTAVA,   PARIS 

CENTURY   AUTHORIZES   OPTER   FIVE   THOUSAJSD 

SERIAL    FIFTEEN   PER  CENT   BOOK. 

SPAULDIMO 


Th«  sender  will  please  read  the  conditions  on  back  and  sign  name  and  address  thereon  for  reference.  * 

iHl  POSTM  COMP/UIYS  SYSTEM  REACHES  ALUMPORT/INT  POINTS  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES  AND  BRITISH  AMERICA.  AND  ni  COMMERCIAl  CABLES,  All  THE  WORLtt 

of  five  figures  or  letters,  or  fraction  thereof,  to  the  word. 
"Ch"  counts  as  one  letter  when  the  combination  ap- 
pears in  a  dictionary  word;  in  artificial  words  it  counts 
as  two  letters. 

Commercial  marks  composed  of  figures  and  letters  are 
counted  at  the  rate  of  five  figures  or  letters  to  the  word. 
Shilling  marks,  fraction  bars,  periods  and  other  decimal 
marks,  grouped  with  figures  are  counted  with  the  latter 
and  not  separately.  Punctuation  marks,  hyphens, 
apostrophe,  dollar,  and  pounds-sterling  marks  are 
charged  as  one  word  each. 

Other  classes  of  cable  messages  at  lower  cost  are  pro- 
vided for  use  in  case  immediate  delivery  is  not  essential. 
There  are  additional  restrictions  regarding  the  use  of 


152  Business  English 

code  language  but  otherwise  the  regulations  are  similar 
to  those  for  fast  cablegrams. 

Exercises 

Confine  the  cablegrams  to  the  fewest  words  possible, 
and  the  telegrams  to  ten  words  if  possible.  Do  not  sacri- 
fice clearness  to  brevity. 

1  Write  a  telegram  to  Ogdon  R.  Benton,  Baltimore,  Maryland, 
saying  that  you  are  to  be  in  Baltimore  at  the  Belmont  Hotel, 
May  30th  and  ask  for  an  appointment. 

2  Write  a  telegram  to  Wright,  Allen  and  Company,  Canton,  Ohio, 
saying  the  case  of  shoes  shipped  to  you  from  their  factory  was 
broken  open  in  transportation,  and  that  you  hold  them  subject 
to  their  order. 

3  Telegraph  your  salesman  in  Detroit  to  omit  on  his  route  Cleve- 
land and  Pittsburg  and  to  return  to  the  New  York  ofl&ce  for  fur- 
ther instructions. 

4  You  have  an  opportunity  to  buy  some  property  that  you  very 
much  desire,  but  cannot  close  the  deal  without  the  consent  of 
your  business  partner  J.  R.  Guerney  who  is  in  Scran  ton,  Penn- 
sylvania, on  business.  Telegraph  him  at  the  Congress  Hotel  for 
instructions. 

5  Telegraph  the  Siler  Book  Store,  2378  Amsterdam  Ave.,  Deer- 
field,  Conn.,  that  you  are  out  of  the  American  Poets  ordered  by 
them,  but  will  forward  the  order  in  four  days.  State  also  that  the 
novel  "Alone"  has  been  exhausted  in  its  first  edition  and  that  no 
more  can  be  obtained  until  the  second  edition  comes  out,  the  time 
being  indefinite. 

6  (a)  Telegraph  Hon.  J.  P.  Marshall,  City  Hall,  New  York  City, 
that  owing  to  a  wreck  on  the  railroad,  you  will  be  unable  to  keep 
your  appointment  with  him.  Ask  for  a  reply  to  be  sent  to  Roice- 
ville,  Penn.,  in  response  to  your  request  for  another  appointment. 

(b)  Write  Hon.  J.  P.  Marshall's  reply. 

7  Send  a  cablegram  to  Chas.  R.  Phillips,  469  Parker  St.,  Bristol, 
England  (code  address  "Cillip  "),  asking  him  to  cancel  your  re- 
quest for  the  shipment  of  silk  stuffs  ordered  Dec.  8th. 

8  Send  a  cablegram  to  T.  H.  Rankin,  Truro,  Switzerland,  saying 
that  you  are  sailing  on  the  "  Vaterland"  May  26th,  and  asking 
him  to  meet  you  in  Liverpool  when  the  vessel  arrives  June  1st. 


PART  III 

BUSINESS   CORRESPONDENCE 

CHAPTER  I 
THE   ESSENTIAL   QUALITIES   OF   BUSINESS   LETTERS 

The  Problem  of  the  Business  Letter 

Business  letters  are  the  most  important  class  of 
messages  in  business.  Nearly  everybody  writes  them; 
everybody  reads  them.  Over  a  hundred  million  dollars 
a  year  is  spent  in  sending  out  form  letters  for  sales 
purposes  alone.  General  correspondence  costs  even 
more;  for,  it  is  said,  each  personally  dictated  letter 
represents  an  average  expenditure  of  thirty  cents,  of 
which  the  paper  and  ink  are  the  smallest  items. 

In  view  of  this  cost  it  is  necessary  that  the  business 
letter  should  be  efficient.  It  must  secure  a  profitable 
response  at  the  least  possible  cost.  This  demands  the 
application  of  every  sound  principle  of  business  English. 

Adjustment  to  the  reader  is  most  necessary.  It  is 
easy  to  accomplish  this  result  in  a  business  letter,  for  it  is 
a  message  from  one  individual  to  another.  It  is  written 
for  a  single  reader;  no  one  else  needs  to  be  considered 
in  it.  It  must  be  adapted  to  that  reader  in  language,  in 
character,  and  in  mood. 

Adaptation  to  Language 

The  language  must  be  that  of  the  reader.  No  word 
should  be  used  that  is  not  in  his  vocabulary.   If  we  are 

153 


154  Business  English 

writing  to  uneducated  people  we  must  be  absolutely 
simple;  if  we  write  to  a  college  professor  we  may  use  a 
wider  range  of  diction.  In  cases  of  doubt  we  must  keep 
on  the  safe  side. 

We  may  go  further  and  use  words  that  are  peculiar  to 
a  given  trade  or  profession  to  which  the  reader  belongs. 
The  following  example  will  illustrate  the  beginning  of  a 
letter  that  caught  and  held  the  attention  of  men  at 
the  head  of  large  foundries: 

Gentlemen : 

There  is  no  gainsaying  the  fact  that  the  sluggish- 
ness of  the  pig-iron  market  in  most  districts  in  the 
past  few  weeks  has  surprised  the  great  majority  of 
observers. 

Periods  of  relative  dullness  in  pig-iron  are  to  be  ex- 
pected, for  buying  as  a  rule  proceeds  in  waves  or 
"  movements,"  interspersed  with  spells  of  quietness, 
but  no  such  spell  had  been  predicted  for  this  particular 
time. 

In  just  the  same  way,  when  we  are  writing  to  another 
business  man,  we  may  use  businesslike  language;  when 
writing  to  a  lawyer  we  may  use  legal  terms;  and  so  on. 
The  use  of  words  that  the  reader  habitually  uses  helps 
to  put  us  on  a  friendly  footing  with  him. 

Adaptation  to  Character 

We  must  also  consider  the  character  of  our  particular 
reader.  This  may  be  learned  from  the  letter  he  writes,  or 
from  his  business  position,  age,  nationality,  credit- 
rating,  and  a  variety  of  other  factors.  If  he  is  conserva- 
tive, a  fairly  long  and  formal  communication  will  be 
desirable;  if  he  is  progressive,  a  short  snappy  appeal  will 
be  more  likely  to  get  the  right  response.  These  are  only 
generalizations  —  the  distinctive  differences  of  men  are 
innumerable.    The  important  thing  is  that  the  reader 


The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters     155 

should  be  kept  in  mind:  his  point  of  view  should  be 
taken.  From  "Dear  Sir"  to  "Yours  truly,"  every  idea 
should  be  such  as  would  impress  him. 

Adaptation  to  Mood 

The  adjustment  to  mood  is  largely  a  matter  of  emo- 
tion. If  the  reader  has  complained  of  your  goods,  he  will 
not  be  responsive  to  the  same  message  that  would  appeal 
to  a  person  who  is  friendly  or  even  neutral.  If  he  has 
just  enlarged  his  store  or  adopted  automobile  delivery, 
you  would  not  write  to  him  as  you  did  when  he  was 
burned  out.  Everyone  adapts  his  message  to  the  mood 
of  a  friend  when  writing  a  social  letter;  why  not  in  busi- 
ness.^ One  department  store  in  a  small  city  sends  a  letter 
by  way  of  welcome  to  each  family  that  moves  into  the 
vicinity.  One  savings  bank  sends  a  letter  to  the  parents 
of  each  child  born  in  the  community.  In  both  these 
cases  advantage  is  taken  of  a  temporary  mood,  and 
business  is  increased. 

These  adjustments  are  not  always  made  consciously, 
nor  need  they  be.  It  is  necessary  only  that  the  writer 
have  the  reader  constantly  in  mind,  and  write  to  him  as 
he  would  talk  to  him. 

The  Qualities  of  a  Good  Letter 

Since  the  value  of  a  letter  is  measured  by  its  response, 
the  best  way  of  determining  what  qualities  a  good  letter 
should  have,  is  to  analyze  successful  letters  and  com- 
pare them  with  the  unsuccessful.  Careful  study  of  sev- 
eral thousand  letters  shows  different  causes  of  favorable 
response,  but  nearly  all  good  letters  are  alike  in  a  few 
important  respects. 

All  have  clearness,  correctness,  and  force,  for  these 
are  essential  to  every  kind  of  business  English.  In  ad- 


156       '  Business  English 

dition,  nearly  every  successful  letter  has  the  qualities 
of  conciseness,  courtesy,  and  character. 

The  methods  of  securing  clearness,  correctness,  and 
force  in  the  individual  sentence  and  paragraphs  have 
already  been  explained  in  Part  I.  Correctness  in  me- 
chanical form  was  considered  fully  in  Part  II.  Further 
help  in  securing  these  qualities  in  the  letter  as  a  whole 
will  be  given  in  later  chapters. 

It  should  be  remembered  that  all  qualities  are  rela- 
tive, not  fixed.  A  letter  that  is  clear  to  one  person  may 
not  be  clear  to  another.  ''  Gents'  pants  "  might  be  con- 
sidered correct  by  the  customer  of  a  second-hand  cloth- 
ing store,  but  it  would  not  be  acceptable  to  the  patrons 
of  an  exclusive  tailor.  Adaptation  to  the  reader  affects 
these  qualities.  In  other  words  we  must  be  absolutely 
sure  that  the  reader  to  whom  our  letter  is  addressed 
will  find  in  it  these  essential  qualities.  It  must  be  clear 
to  him;  correct  to  him. 

Conciseness 

The  value  of  conciseness  is  quickly  recognized  by  the 
business  man,  because  unnecessary  words  cost  him 
money.  It  is  equally  important  from  the  reader's  point 
of  view.  Business  time  is  limited  and  valuable,  and  can- 
not be  wasted  in  reading  unnecessary  material.  A  long 
and  tedious -looking  letter  is  frequently  cast  into  the 
waste-paper  basket  unread.  If  it  is  read,  and  is  found  to 
contain  nothing  to  warrant  such  a  demand  upon  the 
reader's  time,  it  is  not  likely  to  receive  consideration. 
Therefore  it  is  well  to  have  a  letter  concise. 

But  conciseness  is  too  often  confounded  with  mere 
brevity.  Brevity  concerns  itself  merely  with  the  length 
of  the  letter;  conciseness  has  the  additional  idea  of  com- 
pleteness.   Business  men  easily  get  into  the  habit  of 


The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters     157 

writing  brief  letters,  but  in  their  anxiety  to  save  their 
own  time  and  that  of  their  correspondents  they  are  fre- 
(juently  liable  to  sacrifice  completeness  by  leaving  out 
something  that  is  really  essential.  More  frequently  the 
undue  brevity  is  caused  by  the  omission  of  pronouns, 
and  the  use  of  unauthorized  abbreviations.  Such  a 
method  is  not  conciseness.  Conciseness  is  the  quality  of 
making  one  word  serve  for  two,  but  the  omission  of  a 
word  that  is  necessary  to  grammatical  completeness  is 
not  conciseness.  It  is  pure  slovenliness,  as  in  the  fol- 
lowing example: 

Gents  : 

Yours  of  the  17th  inst.  rec'd.  In  reply  would  say  we 
have  no  record  of  such  transactions.  Would  ask  you 
kindly  to  repeat  same. 

Yr's  resp. 

J.  Jones 

Here  we  have  a  writer  who  was  brief  at  the  expense  of 
every  other  quality.  A  truly  concise  letter  would  read 
somewhat  as  follows: 

91  Wall  Street, 
Troy,  N.Y., 
October  18,  1916. 
The  Washington  Company, 

Boston,  Mass. 
Gentlemen  : 

In  answer  to  your  letter  of  October  17,  we  regret  to 
say  that  we  have  no  record  of  the  order  for  collars  you 
mention  and  can  only  conclude  that  it  miscarried  in 
the  mails.  If  you  will  repeat  the  order  we  shall  be 
glad  to  give  it  our  prompt  and  careful  attention. 
Yours  truly, 

Joseph  Jones 
Courtesy 

Courtesy  is  largely  a  matter  of  proper  adjustment  to 
the  reader.  It  means  that  the  reader's  point  of  view  and 


158  Business  English 

a  proper  attitude  of  respect  are  taken  by  the  writer.  It 
includes  more  than  politeness,  with  which  it  is  fre- 
quently confused. 

Politeness,  of  course,  is  necessary.  A  letter  with  a 
proper  amount  of  phase's  and  thank  yous  will  make  a 
better  impression  than  one  that  disregards  good  man- 
ners. Even  for  the  sake  of  brevity  it  is  unwise  to  forget 
common  politeness.  > 

Compare  the  following  two  letters  on  the  same  sub- 
ject : 

Impolite : 

Gentlemen  : 

On  the  25th  you  say  "  Copy  mailed  to-day."  That 
copy  did  not  reach  me.   Mail  another. 

Yours  truly, 

J.  Blank 
It  is  the  November  issue  that  is  wanted. 

Polite  : 

Gentlemen  : 

The  Central  Y.  M.  C.  A.  is  to-day  in  receipt  of  the 
February  issue  of  the  Journal  of  Correspondence,  but 
has  not  received  the  January  number. 

As  we  are  unwilling  to  miss  any  of  the  numbers  of 
this  valuable  publication,  we  trust  you  will  see  that  the 
missing  copy  is  sent  us  on  as  early  a  date  as  possible. 
Very  truly  yours, 

J.  Blank 

It  is  possible  to  overdo  the  matter  of  politeness.  For 
instance:  *' Please  find  inclosed  check"  seems  rather 
absurd.  When  a  favor  is  not  asked,  it  is  as  well  to  omit 
the  "please." 

Another  case  which  is  rather  different,  and  in  which  a 
mistaken  attempt  at  politeness  results  in  real  discour- 
tesy, is  the  frequent  expression  "Thanking  you  in  ad- 


The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters     159 

vance  for  the  favor,"  etc.  The  implication  that  the 
reader  necessarily  will  do  the  favor  you  ask  is  discour- 
tesy enough,  since  it  discounts  the  value  of  the  favor; 
but  the  implication  that  you  will  not  take  the  time  to 
thank  him  afterwards  is  far  worse.  It  is  dismissing  an 
obligation  before  it  is  made. 

Courtesy  goes  much  deeper  than  politeness.  It  is  a 
matter  not  merely  of  expression,  but  of  the  spirit  behind 
the  expression.  It  means  that  your  attitude  toward  the 
reader  is  such  as  you  would  wish  to  have  adopted  toward 
you.  You  show  a  regard  for  his  interests  and  feelings. 
You  try  to  make  him  feel  that  you  understand  and 
sympathize  with  his  point  of  view. 

Courtesy  is  also  more  inclusive  than  tact.  Tact 
simply  means  the  avoidance  of  speech  and  action  that 
might  offend.  Often  a  tactful  man  accomplishes  his 
object  by  evasion,  or  even  by  falsehood.  This,  however, 
is  contrary  to  good  business  policy  as  well  as  to  good 
morals.  He  may  remove  a  diflSculty  for  the  time  being, 
but  its  effect  is  not  lasting,  and  it  may  breed  distrust. 
A  courteous  writer  presents  the  truth,  but  presents  it 
from  the  reader's  standpoint. 

There  used  to  be  a  rule  of  letter  writing  that  no  letter 
should  begin  with  /.  It  was  a  hard  rule  to  follow,  and 
led  to  many  awkward  beginnings,  but  it  was  well 
founded  in  the  feeling  that  the  important  person  in  a 
letter  is  not  ''I"  but  "you."  And  although  the  rule  is 
no  longer  strict,  it  is  wise  to  subordinate  I  as  much  as 
possible  and  emphasize  you. 

The  frequent  use  of  the  word  I  is  likely  to  make 
the  ''you  attitude"  impossible,  for  the  impression  on 
the  reader  is  one  of  egotism.  Even  though  you  may 
sometimes  begin  a  letter  with  /,  you  should  see  that 
this  word  does  not  begin  all  your  sentences. 

Compare  the  following  letters: 


160  Business  English 

Egotistical: 

August  11,  1916. 
Mr.  Emil  Anderson, 
Paterson,  N.J. 
Dear  Sir: 

I  understand  that  you  are  about  to  erect  a  new  house 
on  your  property  at  318  Sixth  Street.  I  suppose  you 
will  soon  consider  the  question  of  furnaces.  I  wish  to 
call  your  attention  to  the  Smith  furnace  which  I  han- 
dle. I  can  confidently  recommend  it  as  the  best  value 
for  the  money.  I  should  like  to  have  you  call  in  and 
inspect  the  line. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Thomas  Sharps 

Courteous: 

August  11,  1916. 
Mr.  Emil  Anderson, 
Paterson,  N.J. 
Dear  Sir: 

Have  you  decided  upon  a  system  of  heating  for  the 
new  house  which  I  understand  you  are  about  to  build 
at  318  Sixth  Street? 

The  property  is  finely  located  and  the  high  ground 
will  give  you  a  splendid  view,  but  the  winds  that  pre- 
vail in  that  vicinity  in  the  winter  make  the  heating 
problem  a  serious  one.  A  furnace  must  have  good 
capacity  and  absolute  dependability  to  meet  the  test. 

My  ten  years'  experience  in  handling  heating  appa- 
ratus has  convinced  me  that  the  Smith  furnace  can  be 
relied  upon  to  keep  the  house  warm  under  all  condi- 
tions. It  has  many  labor  saving  features  that  will 
interest  you. 

I  should  be  glad  of  an  opportunity  to  show  you  the 
line  at  your  convenience. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Thomas  Sharpe 
Character 

The  last  essential  of  the  business  letter  is  character. 
Courtesy  requires  sympathy  with  the  reader;  character 


The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters     161 

requires  expression  of  the  writer.  It  is  the  element  of  his 
own  personality  that  shows  him  as  a  real  person  talking 
through  the  medium  of  words  on  paper. 

The  quality  of  character  makes  a  letter  distinctive*  it 
lifts  it  above  the  mass  of  letters  to  the  level  of  a  real 
message.  For  it  must  not  be  forgotten  that  a  message 
has  a  writer  and  a  subject  as  well  as  a  reader.  Adapta- 
tion to  the  reader  should  not  prevent  the  writer's  char- 
acter from  showing.  It  should  not  prevent  him  from 
having  what  in  literature  is  called  ''style." 

Character  is  impossible  in  a  letter  that  imitates  a 
model.  Such  a  letter  has  no  more  personality  than  the 
typewriter  on  which  it  was  written.  It  is  equally  impos- 
sible when  stereotyped  and  hackneyed  phrases  (some- 
times miscalled  business  English)  are  used.  Therefore  it 
is  unwise  to  start  out  with  something  like  this:  ''Yours 
of  recent  date  received  and  contents  noted,"  or  "Ac- 
knowledging your  esteemed  favor  of  recent  date."  Such 
a  beginning  is  absolutely  characterless.  And  in  the  body 
of  the  letter,  such  expressions  as  "the  same,"  "here- 
with," "beg  to  advise,"  take  away  the  quality  of  char- 
acter, particularly  when  used  to  excess,  as  is  so  often  the 
case.  For  this  reason  the  use  of  "  Letter  Writers "  and 
phrase  books  is  to  be  discouraged,  as  likely  to  destroy 
character. 

It  is  not  a  bad  rule  to  avoid  the  use  of  any  sentence 
that  seems  to  be  expressed  in  what  is  called  the  "lan- 
guage of  correspondence."  If  your  sentence  has  a  familiar 
ring  and  if  it  seems  stilted  and  lifeless,  examine  it  care- 
fully and  see  if  the  idea  cannot  be  expressed  more  simply 
and  directly.  In  nine  cases  out  of  ten,  you  will  find  a 
gain  in  clearness  as  well  as  in  character.  The  sen- 
tence  will  seem  to  be  your  own.  It  will  express  your 
personality. 


162  Business  English 

Pretentiousness 

Stereotyped  phrases  are  not  the  only  danger  to  be 
avoided.  It  is  equally  necessary  that  the  writer  should 
nqt  strain  for  effect,  or  use  eccentric  or  odd  expressions, 
for  the  sake  of  being  distinctive.  This  results  in  preten- 
tiousness, which  is  easily  detected,  and  when  detected 
casts  suspicion  upon  the  writer's  sincerity.  Very  few 
"clever"  letters  have  been  really  successful. 

The  following  letter  illustrates  the  use  of  cleverness  as 
a  substitute  for  real  character.  In  this  case  it  is  fairly 
effective,  but  the  method  is  not  one  that  could  be 
recommended  for  general  use. 

Dear  Friend: 

Why  not  surprise  your  cerebrum,  and  give  your 
convolutions  a  treat? 

The  Philistine  will  increase  your  will  power;  your 
capacity  for  friendship ;  your  thinkery ;  bolster  up  your 
ideals;  and  by  adding  to  your  health  will  double  for  you 
the  joys  of  life;  avert  that  burnt  sienna  taste,  distance 
the  ether  cone,  and  send  the  undertaker  into  a  receiver- 
ship. 

The  Philistine  is  printed  by  printers,  and  its  make-up 
is  strictly  bosarty. 

We  just  must  have  your  subscription  —  for  your 
own  good  and  ours. 

Please  reply  abruptly  and  with  precision. 
Yours  normally, 

Character  demands  the  avoidance  both  of  the  com- 
monplace or  trite,  and  of  the  strained  or  florid.  It  de- 
mands that  the  writer  be  sincere  —  that  he  write  as  he 
thinks.  If  he  does  this,  he  will  find  that  his  letters  have 
character,  and  that  he  himself  has  more  character. 

Development  of  Character 

When  you  demand  that  your  ideas  be  expressed  ex- 
actly and  individually,  you  begin  to  have  more  exact 


The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters      163 

and  original  ideas.  Those  who  use  mechanical  forms 
of  expression  soon  become  mechanical  thinkers.  Their 
minds  fall  into  a  rut.  They  become  fitted  only  for  the 
position  of  clerk  —  a  mere  cog  in  the  great  machine. 
Those  who  think  originally,  write  originally.  The 
letters  of  great  men,  either  in  business  or  elsewhere, 
have  character. 

Abraham  Lincoln  to  Mrs.  Bixby,  of  Boston. 

November  21,  1864. 
Dear  Madam  : 

I  have  been  shown  in  the  files  of  the  War  Depart- 
ment a  statement  of  the  Adjutant-General  of  Massa- 
chusetts that  you  are  the  mother  of  five  sons  who  have 
died  gloriously  on  the  fields  of  battle.  I  feel  how  weak 
and  fruitless  must  be  any  words  of  mine  which  should 
attempt  to  beguile  you  from  the  grief  of  a  loss  so  over- 
whelming. But  I  cannot  refrain  from  tendering  to  you 
the  consolation  that  may  be  found  in  the  thanks  of  the 
Republic  they  died  to  save.  I  pray  that  our  heavenly 
Father  may  assuage  the  anguish  of  your  bereavement, 
and  leave  you  only  the  cherished  memory  of  the  loved 
and  lost,  and  the  solemn  pride  that  must  be  yours  to 
have  laid  so  costly  a  sacrifice  upon  the  altar  of  freedom. 
Yours  very  sincerely  and  respectfully, 
Abraham  Lincoln 

The  quality  of  character  does  not  always  depend  upon 
the  individual  writer.  It  is  sometimes  a  matter  of  the 
business  house  that  employs  him.  Many  big  corpora- 
tions have  succeeded  in  giving  their  correspondence  a 
distinctive  personality,  to  which  each  letter  is  required 
to  conform,  no  matter  who  writes  it.  They  have 
achieved  this  result  sometimes  by  having  a  critic  of  cor- 
respondence direct  the  work,  sometimes  by  the  adoption 
of  a  manual,  and  sometimes  merely  by  impressing  the 
ideals  and  policies  of  the  house  upon  every  employee. 


164  Business  English 

The  following  letter  is  characteristic  of  those  sent  out 
by  System,  the  business  magazine: 

New  York,  N.  Y. 

January  19,  1916. 
Dear  Sir: 

If  you  have  not  already  planned  your  advertisement 
for  SYSTEM'S  big  SEMI-ANNUAL  MARCH  issue, 
might  I  suggest  that  you  arrange  to  use  large  and  im- 
pressive space  and  very  carefully  edited  copy. 

It  will  pay  you  splendidly  to  do  this  —  and  for  very 
logical  reasons :  — 

In  this  issue  your  advertisement  will  reach  the  busi- 
ness public  on  MARCH  10th  —  at  the  height  of  the 
great  Spring  Purchasing  season  when  most  decisions  to 
buy  are  being  arrived  at. 

The  issue  itself  will  be  the  best  and  most  expensive 
we  have  produced;  and  the  whole  force  of  SYSTEM'S 
big  semiannual  advertising  and  circularizing  cam- 
paign will  be  directed  to  center  public  attention  on  it. 

As  a  result,  it  will  be  actively  read  for  twice  as  long  a 
time,  and  have  twice  as  many  readers  per  copy  sold,  as 
any  ordinary  issue — that  is,  it  will  have  double  the  life 
and  double  the  effective  circulation,  of  any  ordinary  issue. 

And  these  reasons  are  backed  up  by  the  fact  that  for 
six  consecutive  years  SYSTEM'S  oldest  and  shrewdest 
advertisers  have  been  quietly  doubling  and  quadrup- 
ling their  regular  space  in  MARCH  —  and  tracing  to 
their  MARCH  SYSTEM  advertisements,  by  specially 
keyed  copy,  from  30  to  50  per  cent  more  sales  per  dollar 
invested. 

Therefore  I  earnestly  suggest  your  taking  advantage 
of  this  issue  with  the  largest  possible  space  and  the 
best  obtainable  copy. 

Very  truly  yours, 
E.  R.  Crowe 

Eastern  Manager 

P.S.  —  In  view  of  the  volume  of  advertising  already 
scheduled  for  this  important  number,  won't 
you  kindly  advise  me  as  soon  as  possible  ap- 
proximately what  space  I  may  reserve  for  you? 


The  Essential  Qualities  of  Business  Letters     165 
Exercises 

1  A  distant  cousin  of  about  your  own  age,  living  in  a  small  town 
about  twenty  miles  away,  writes  that  he  is  thinking  of  coming  to 
your  city  and  taking  up  a  business  course  in  the  school  you  are 
attending.   He  wants  your  advice.  Answer  him. 

2  His  father,  a  store-keeper  who  went  to  work  when  he  was  four- 
teen, is  inclined  to  believe  that  the  course  of  study  would  not  pay, 
and  that  the  method  he  himself  followed  would  be  best  for  his 
son.  However,  he  has  not  made  up  his  mind  on  the  question,  and 
wants  some  information  from  you.   Answer  him. 

3  What  qualities  are  lacking  in  the  following  letter? 

Dear  Sir: 

Your  letter  received  and  in  reply  beg  to  state  that  we 
cannot  supply  our  monogram  belts  on  direct  mail 
order.   Inquire  at  your  dealers. 

Very  truly  yours, 

B.  Adam  &  Co. 

4  Rewrite  the  above  letter  in  better  style. 

5  Is  the  following  letter  concise.'^  Why.^^ 

Dear  Sir: 

Yours  of  the  16th  inst.  received.  Have  referred  same 
to  our  Complaint  Dept.  Expect  a  report  on  same  in 
near  future. 

Respectfully  yours, 

6  Rewrite  the  above  letter. 

7  Criticize  the  following  paragraph  of  a  letter  to  clerks  in  respect  to 
the  essential  qualities. 

Dear  Sir: 

We  find  it  particularly  necessary  to  have  the  estab- 
lished business  people  thoroughly  acquainted  with 
Charles  W.  Eliot's  notable  new  theory  of  disseminating 
culture  through  private  libraries. 

8  What  qualities  are  lacking  in  the  following  letter? 

Oct.  7th,  1916. 
Lane  Bros. 

Jersey  City,  N.J. 
Gentlemen  : 

Wc  are  in  receipt  of  your  letter  also  check  for  $6.86, 
but  I  don't  see  where  you  took  off  again  37f!i  on  this 


166  Business  English 

bill  for  parcel  post,  when  I  have  my  own  post  office  I 
w  ill  send  you  goods  Free  of  charge  by  post,  inasmuch 
as  I  have  got  to  pay  to  the  post  office  for  stamps  I  ex- 
pect to  have  it  returned.  I  explained  to  you  in  the  pre- 
vious letter  that  all -our  goods  is  sold  F.O.B.  Chicago 
and  so  read  your  order  otherwise  we  would  not  ship 
the  goods.  I  am  selling  goods  to  the  biggest  jobbers  in 
the  U.S  at  the  same  terms  and  prices  and  to  avoid  all 
future  trouble  we  will  kindly  ask  you  to  send  a  check 
for  $2.01. 

Hoping  you  will  consider  this  letter  thoroughly  and 
not  have  any  more  trouble  we  remain 
Yours  truly. 

The  Western  Ivory  Co. 
Per  J.  Miner 

9  Rewrite  the  above  letter  in  more  effective  form. 

10  What  qualities  are  lacking  in  the  following  letter.^ 

Gentlemen  : 

Realizing  that  your  business  requires  more  prompt 
attention,  and  that  I  can  personally  serve  you  to  better 
advantage,  both  in  the  question  of  price  and  delivery 
through  the  medium  of  this  Company,  I  respectfully 
request  for  same,  the  consideration  of  me  personally, 
which  you  so  generously  favored  me  with  as  represen- 
tative of  the  concerns  I  have  recently  been  directly 
associated  with. 

I  take  this  opportunity  to  thank  you  for  past  favors 
and  assure  you  that  your  business  is  respected  and  in- 
quiries would  be  appreciated. 

Thanking  you  for  past  courtesies  extended  me,  and 
awaiting  your  further  inquiries,  I  remain. 

Yours  very  respectfully, 
The  Turbine  Sales  Co. 
I  Howard  Camp 

Director 

11  Rewrite  the  above  letter  in  better  form. 


CHAPTER   II 
THE   CONSTRUCTION    OF   THE   LETTER 

The  Need  of  a  Plan 

It  has  been  shown  that  the  most  essential  thing  in  a 
business  letter  is  adaptation  to  the  reader.  In  addition, 
the  letter  should  have  the  qualities  of  clearness,  correct- 
ness, force,  conciseness,  courtesy,  and  character.  With 
these  essentials  in  mind,  the  writer  will  go  a  long  way 
toward  producing  effective  letters  —  letters  that  bring 
a  favorable  response.  But  a  letter  must  be  more  than  a 
group  of  words,  sentences,  and  paragraphs.  It  must  be 
an  organized  whole.  It  must  be  carefully  planned  from 
beginning  to  end. 

An  architect  may  know  what  the  purpose  of  a  building 
is,  and  what  qualities  it  must  have.  But  before  he  can 
see  his  ideal  worked  out  in  brick  and  stone,  he  must 
make  his  plan.  In  it  he  must  follow  certain  recognized 
principles  of  architecture. 

In  just  the  same  way,  if  the  writer  of  a  business  letter 
wants  to  be  sure  of  clearness,  he  must  plan  the  composi- 
tion in  accordance  with  certain  recognized  principles 
of  construction.  These  are  unity,  coherence,  and  em- 
phasis. 

Unity 

Unity  is  the  selective  principle.  It  demands  that  all 
necessary  ideas  be  included,  and  all  unnecessary  ideas 
excluded.    The  writer  must  stick  to  the  point.    Before 

167 


168  Business  English 

writing  have  clearly  in  mind  the  idea  you  want  to  im- 
press and  the  response  you  expect.  If  your  main  idea  is 
that  the  reader  must  send  in  his  advertisement  at  once 
in  order  to  have  it  inserted  in  the  next  issue  of  your  pa- 
per, don't  obscure  it  by  giving  twenty  reasons  why  he 
should  advertise.  If  you  are  applying  for  a  position 
show  why  you  are  the  man  to  fill  it;  don't  bother  about 
saying  that  you  want  to  leave  your  present  place  be- 
cause you  are  not  appreciated  and  only  the  old  man's 
nephews  are  advanced.  From  the  first  word  to  the  last, 
nothing  should  be  allowed  to  enter  the  letter  that  does 
not  contribute  to  the  chief  message  that  is  to  be  im- 
pressed on  the  reader. 

One  practical  reason  for  this  is  the  fact  that  most 
business  houses  are  divided  into  departments  that 
handle  the  various  parts  of  their  work.  A  letter  that  had 
several  important  messages  would  therefore  need  to  be 
referred  to  several  departments  before  it  could  be  com- 
pletely answered.  This  means  delay.  In  some  cases  it 
means  that  the  letter  never  gets  complete  attention;  one 
part  only  is  answered.  It  is  easy  for  the  mind  of  the 
reader  to  grasp  one  idea  and  act  upon  it.  If  several  dif- 
ferent things  tax  his  attention  at  the  same  time  it  is 
unlikely  that  any  one  of  them  will  impress  itself  deeply 
on  his  mind.  For  the  sake  of  clearness,  then,  in  all  busi- 
ness English  it  is  wise  to  have  strict  concentration  upon 
a  single  main  point. 

On  the  other  hand,  don't  leave  out  anything  that  is 
essential  to  the  main  idea  of  your  message.  If  you  order 
goods,  be  sure  that  no  detail  of  their  specification  is 
omitted.  If  you  sell  goods  by  the  quality  argument, 
don't  be  content  to  say  they  are  the  "best  in  the  world." 
Show  how,  and  why,  and  prove  it.  If  you  are  dissatisfied 
with  goods  you  have  bought,  state  the  reasons  definitely. 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  169 

Test  of  Unity 

The  omission  of  the  necessary  is  far  less  common  than 
the  inchision  of  the  unnecessary.  Botli  are  violations  of 
the  principle  of  unity  and  make  it  unlikely  that  your 
message  will  secure  the  right  response.  It  is  always  help- 
ful to  block  out  roughly,  either  on  paper  or  in  your 
mind,  the  ideas  that  might  be  put  in  your  letter.  You 
can  then  select  those  that  are  most  essential  and  reject 
the  rest.  Test  your  selection  by  seeing  if  all  the  selected 
ideas  can  be  gathered  together  and  expressed  in  one 
sentence  that  embodies  the  chief  idea  you  would  have 
the  reader  receive. 

This  summing  up  sentence  or  key  sentence  may  be 
like  the  following: 

If  your  advertisement  is  to  be  inserted  in  the  March 
number,  we  must  have  your  copy  by  February  20th. 

The  Gem  Duplicator  will  save  you  money  on  form 
letters. 

If  the  goods  we  ordered  October  16th  are  not  re- 
ceived by  November  1st,  we  shall  cancel  our  order. 

In  order  to  maintain  our  liberal  credit  terms,  we 
must  have  your  remittance  within  ten  days. 

In  answering  a  letter  that  deals  with  several  differ- 
ent matters  and  which  therefore  lacks  unity,  it  may  not 
be  possible  to  follow  this  principle  rigidly. 

The  effort  to  secure  unity  may  result  in  a  certain  stiff- 
ness of  form  until  the  writer  has  accustomed  himself  to 
building  according  to  a  plan.  After  a  time,  however,  the 
principle  of  unity  becomes  second  nature,  and  every 
letter  will  go  easily  and  directly  to  its  object. 

Example 

The  following  letter  will  illustrate  the  principle  of 
Unity: 


170  Business  English 

March  10,  1916. 
The  Star  Manufacturing  Company, 
Department  11, 
Bridgeport,  Conn. 
Gentlemen  : 

Attention  of  Mr.  WilUam  Bhss,  Adv.  Mgr. 

Just  what  THE  IRON  AGE  can  do  for  you  in  your 
selHng  campaign  will  be  evident  when  you  have  care- 
fully examined  the  Analysis  booklet  sent  separately. 
This  is  going  forward  in  response  to  your  recent  re- 
quest. 

This  booklet  has  proved  of  the  greatest  value  to 
many  firms  when  they  were  considering  the  question  of 
increasing  their  sales  through  advertising  properly 
placed.  A  careful  study  of  the  facts  and  figures  pre- 
sented in  this  booklet,  particularly  in  the  Charts  at  the 
back,  will  enable  you  to  determine  absolutely  and  ac- 
curately whether  THE  IRON  AGE  reaches  the  largest 
number  of  your  buying  possibilities  in  the  metal  industry. 

We  shall  be  glad  to  supplement  this  booklet  with 
additional  information  concerning  our  Sales  Promotion 
Department  and  its  successful  methods  of  securing  in- 
quiries which  can  be  turned  into  orders. 

We  hope  you  will  be  sufficiently  interested  to  hear 
from  us  further  on  this  subject  and  await  your  reply. 
Yours  very  truly, 


General  Manager 
For  further  illustration  contrast  the  following  letters: 

Lacks  Unity: 

Dear  Sir: 

We  know  this  is  a  time  of  the  year  which  in  your 
business  is  apt  to  be  busy  for  you  and  many  things  are 
overlooked.  We  therefore  call  your  attention  again  to 
the  bill  of  $175.40  which  is  still  due  us.  You  probably 
have  the  check  all  ready  to  mail  so  this  will  just  be  a 
reminder. 

Yours  truly. 

Blank  &  Blank 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  171 

Here  the  writer  has  omitted  to  state  the  length  of  time 
the  bill  has  been  overdue,  or  any  other  reason  why  pay- 
ment should  be  made  immediately.  He  has  also  in- 
cluded two  inconsistent  ideas  by  saying  that  the  matter 
has  probably  been  overlooked,  and  then  adding  that  the 
reader  probably  has  his  check  all  ready  to  mail. 

Unified : 

Dear  Sir: 

For  some  reason  we  have  failed  to  receive  your  check 
for  $175.40,  for  goods  shipped  you  on  August  10,  1916. 
As  the  terms  were  30  days  net,  the  amount  is  now  a 
month  overdue. 

We  understand  that  this  is  a  busy  time  of  the  year 
for  you  and  that  such  matters  easily  escape  attention. 
We  have  therefore  refrained  from  troubling  you.  Now, 
however,  we  should  like  to  have  the  matter  cleared  up, 
as  we  have  already  extended  credit  beyond  our  usual 
liberal  terms. 

Will  you  not  make  out  your  check  for  this  amount 
to-day  .f^ 

Very  truly  yours. 

Blank  &  Blank 

Coherence 

Coherence  is  the  principle  of  arrangement.  After  the 
material  has  been  properly  selected  —  the  essential  ideas 
included,  and  the  non-essential  excluded — ^  it  must  be 
made  to  hang  together,  so  that  the  reader  may  progress 
easily  from  the  beginning  to  end.  The  ideas  should  be 
placed  in  logical  order  and  should  be  well  connected. 

One  of  the  commonest  causes  of  weakness  in  letters  is 
loose,  rambling  structure.  Even  though  there  may  be 
only  one  main  idea,  its  parts  are  often  so  unrelated  that 
at  the  end  the  reader  finds  himself  no  farther  than  when 
he  started.   Take  for  example  the  following  letter: 


172  Business  English 

Dear  Sir: 

Let  Uncle  Sam  drum  up  your  business. 

Statistics  have  proved  his  abiHty  to  get  business 
through  direct  letter  advertising. 

This  letter  may  be  worth  $10  to  you  for  every  letter 
you  send  out.  Listen: 

Men  who  have  experimented  —  kept  checking 
sheets  and  compiled  statistics,  claim  that  a  good  fac- 
simile letter  under  a  1^  stamp  gets  just  as  much  money 
in  returns  as  the  same  letter  sent  under  a  2^  stamp. 

Whether  you  should  use  a  1^  or  a  2^  stamp  may  be 
open  for  discussion,  but  one  thing  is  certain  —  you 
should  use  Quality  letters,  because  they  get  to  the  man 
you  want  to  reach. 

Uncle  Sam*s  mail  leaves  and  arrives  on  schedule 
time.  Partnership  with  Uncle  Sam  pays.  Let  him  co- 
operate with  you  to  boost  business. 

Hurry-up  typewriter  addressing  —  2500  an  hour  — 
from  stencil  list  kept  in  our  office  —  addresses  guar- 
anteed correct  —  and  at  half  your  cost  for  addressing 
—  to  help  you  catch  the  next  mail  with  new  prices  or 
special  information  before  the  other  fellow  "  wakes-up." 

Try  a  letter  campaign  done  by  the  Letter  Shop. 
Write,  wire  or  phone  for  complete  particulars  or  a  call 
from  the  writer. 

Very  truly  yours. 

Quality  Co. 

The  first  two  paragraphs  of  this  letter  are  not  closely 
enough  connected  with  what  follows.  In  fact,  the  letter 
appears  to  begin  again  at  the  third  paragraph. 

Order 

The  order  of  ideas  in  a  letter  depends  upon  its  pur- 
pose. In  some  cases  it  is  fairly  obvious.  If,  for  example, 
the  letter  consists  mainly  of  a  narrative  of  circum- 
stances, as  in  a  letter  of  complaint,  the  chronological 
order  is  natural. 

In  most  cases,  however,  the  order  is  determined  by 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  173 

the  necessity  of  adjustment  to  the  reader's  point  of  view. 
It  is  best  to  begin  witli  tlie  material  that  is  nearest  to  his 
ideas  or  his  experience.  If  your  letter  is  an  answer  to  his, 
it  should  be  hnked  with  his  by  some  acknowledgment 
of  its  contents,  together  with  some  expression  of  pleasure 
or  sympathy  as  the  case  may  require. 

In  general  the  letter  should  work  from  the  reader's 
point  of  view  to  your  own.  Begin  with  matters  that  in- 
terest him;  later  bring  in  the  ideas  that  relate  to  your 
own  interests.  The  application  of  this  principle  will  be 
shown  later  in  connection  with  more  important  types  of 
letters. 

Connection 

Connection  is  a  somewhat  more  diflScult  matter.  The 
need  for  expressed  connection  will  largely  be  avoided  if 
the  ideas  are  in  proper  order.  The  mind,  in  proceeding 
from  one  idea  to  another,  needs  no  bridge  if  the  ideas  are 
brought  close  together.  It  must  be  remembered,  how- 
ever, that  human  minds  do  not  work  alike.  Ideas  that 
are  connected  in  one  person's  mind  are  far  apart  in 
another's.   Bridges  are  therefore  necessary. 

The  simplest  device  is  the  old-fashioned  one  of  the 
preacher  with  his  firstly,  secondly,  and  thirdly,  or,  as  we 
now  use  it,  first,  second,  and  third.  It  is  still  valuable  in 
some  cases,  but  is  likely  to  be  too  mechanical  and,  what 
is  worse,  too  deadening  to  the  imagination. 

Much  better  is  the  use  of  conjunctions.  Some  persons 
insist  that  and  and  hut  should  never  be  used  to  con- 
nect sentences,  or  paragraphs.  But  they  are  permissible 
if  they  show  the  right  relation  of  the  ideas.  It  is  true, 
however,  that  and  and  hut  are  the  weakest  connectives, 
because  they  are  the  most  common  and  convey  the 
broadest  suggestion  of  similarity  or  contrast.    Much 


174  Business  English 

better  are  such  specific  conjunctions  as  moreover,  how- 
ever, and  such  connective  phrases  as  on  the  other  hand, 
in  addition  to  this,  and  the  Hke.  These  are  more  effec- 
tive and  have  an  additional  advantage  in  that  they 
need  not  be  placed  at  the  beginning  of  the  sentence. 

Often  demonstratives  are  useful  for  connective  pur- 
poses; this  and  that  call  to  the  mind  the  idea  that  has 
preceded,  and  do  not  diminish  the  force  of  the  ideas 
that  follow. 

A  very  useful  connection  can  frequently  be  made  by 
repeating  a  part  of  the  idea  that  has  preceded.  After 
telling  about  the  quality  of  an  article,  for  example,  the 
writer  may  say:  "Not  only  is  the  quality  of  this  article 
superior  to  that  of  any  other  on  the  market,  but  its  price 
is  actually  lower."  Such  repetitions  are  valueless,  how- 
ever, unless  they  come  very  close  to  the  original  expres- 
sion. When  a  writer  repeats  an  idea  that  he  has  ex- 
pressed two  or  three  paragraphs  earlier,  he  is  not  getting 
the  force  of  connection  or  the  emphasis  of  repetition.  He 
is  simply  drawing  the  mind  from  the  thing  in  which  it  is 
now  interested  to  the  thing  in  which  it  was  interested 
some  time  before.  Instead  of  making  a  letter  cohere,  he 
makes  it  more  difficult  to  follow  and  to  understand. 

Certain  other  devices  are  helpful  to  a  smooth  progress 
of  thought.  Among  them  are  the  maintenance  of  a  single 
point  of  view  and  the  use  of  the  parallel  construction. 
These  devices,  however,  are  more  important  in  the  indi- 
vidual paragraphs  and  sentences.  For  coherence  in  the 
whole  letter,  the  main  points  to  remember  are  that  the 
ideas  should  logically  progress  from  beginning  to  end, 
and  that  enough  connective  words  should  be  used  to 
make  them  stick  together. 

The  following  sales  letter  illustrates  good  coherence. 
The  ideas  are  placed  in  logical  order,  beginning  with  the 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  175 

reader's  point  of  view  and  ending  with  the  article  to  be 
sold  him,  and  the  various  steps  in  the  progress  are  well 
connected. 

Dear  Sir: 

Why  should  your  form  letters  be  a  little  better  in 
appearance  than  other  letters  that  are  going  through 
the  mail  daily? 

Because  you  wish  to  establish  a  good  impression 
among  the  trade,  for  by  doing  so  you  can  increase  your 
business.  If  your  letters  are  not  as  neat  in  appearance 
as  they  should  be,  the  trade  will  not  be  properly  im- 
pressed. Attractive  letters  will  be  singled  out  from  a 
lot  of  mail  and  read  with  interest. 

If  you  will  send  your  work  to  this  letter  shop  you  will 
get  the  kind  of  letters  that  make  the  proper  impression 
on  those  you  wish  to  reach  and  that  will  bring  in  the 
business  for  you. 

This  letter  is  an  example  of  our  work.  Your  name 
and  address  were  headed  in  on  the  typewriter.  Note 
the  accurate  match.  We  could  do  just  as  good  work 
for  you. 

We  should  greatly  appreciate  an  opportunity  to  esti- 
mate on  any  work  that  you  may  need. 

Very  truly  yours, 
Quick  Service  Multigraph-Letter  Co. 

Emphasis 

Emphasis  is  the  principle  of  proportion.  It  demands 
that  the  most  important  ideas  should  be  given  the  great- 
est prominence,  both  of  position  and  space. 

There  are  other  ways  of  emphasizing  ideas,  but  they 
are  all  mechanical;  such  as  the  use  of  capitals,  under- 
lining, red  ink,  and  the  like.  So  far  as  the  work  of  the 
writer  is  concerned,  there  are  only  two  ways  of  impress- 
ing one  idea  more  than  another.  The  first  is  by  giving 
more  time  and  space  to  its  presentation;  the  second  is  by 
placing  it  where  it  will  most  readily  catch  the  eye. 


176  Business  English 

The  prominent  positions  are  the  beginning  and  the 
end.  The  beginning  is  the  first  thing  to  receive  atten- 
tion; the  end  remains  longer  in  the  mind. 

The  Beginning  of  the  Letter 

The  beginning  and  the  end  of  a  letter  should  not  be 
occupied  by  unimportant  ideas.  Any  idea  that  is  com- 
mon to  the  great  mass  of  letters  is  unimportant.  Hence 
the  first  sentence  of  a  letter  should  not  be  a  mere  ac- 
knowledgment; such  as  "  Yours  of  the  16th  instant  re- 
ceived and  contents  duly  noted."  The  last  sentence 
should  not  be  a  mere  formal  wish,  such  as  ''Hoping 
to  receive  an  early  and  favorable  reply,  I  remain."  Yet 
thousands  of  letters  do  begin  and  end  in  precisely  this 
way.  The  ideas  may  need  to  be  in  the  letter,  but  they 
do  not  deserve  greatest  prominence. 

There  are  a  number  of  good  ways  of  handling  the 
acknowledgment  without  sacrificing  the  beginning  of 
the  letter  to  it.  One  is  to  place  at  the  top  of  the  letter, 
above  the  inside  address,  or  below  the  salutation,  but 
separate  from  the  body  of  the  letter,  a  line  similar  to 
the  following: 

Replying  to  your  letter  of  May  3,  1916. 

A  better  way,  perhaps,  is  to  weave  the  acknowl- 
edgment into  the  first  sentence  of  the  letter,  without 
making  it  the  main  idea  of  the  sentence.  The  following 
will  be  suggestive: 

We  are  glad  to  learn  from  your  letter  of  November 
3d,  that  you  are  interested  in  a  course  in  accounting. 

We  regret  that  we  are  unable  to  supply  the  infor- 
mation requested  in  your  letter  of  November  3d. 

We  are  sorry  to  learn  from  your  letter  of  November 
3d,  that  our  last  shipment  of  canned  peas  did  not  come 
up  to  your  expectations. 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  177 

The  new  book  on  Business  Correspondence,  about 
which  you  inquired  in  your  letter  of  November  3d,  is 
now  in  the  printer's  hands,  and  copies  will  soon  be 
ready  for  distribution. 

A  little  ingenuity  will  make  it  possible  to  open  prac- 
tically every  letter  with  a  sentence  that  expresses  an 
important  idea,  uses  a  tone  that  is  adapted  to  the  reader, 
and  at  the  same  time  acknowledges  a  previous  letter  in 
a  manner  that  is  not  too  hackneyed  and  trite. 

The  Ending  of  a  Letter 

Closing  the  letter  is  to  many  people  as  difficult  as 
opening  it.  They  seem  to  feel  that  there  is  too  great 
abruptness,  unless  they  insert:  /  beg  to  remain,  or  some 
other  equally  hackneyed  phrase.  An  abrupt  close  is 
often  undesirable,  it  is  true,  but  it  can  be  avoided 
without  the  use  of  weak  expressions.  The  participial 
construction  introduced  by  trusting,  hoping,  believing, 
and  the  like,  is  the  weakest  construction  in  the  English 
language,  and  important  ideas  should  never  be  ex- 
pressed in  it.  If  an  idea  is  important  enough  to  occupy 
the  important  position  at  the  end,  it  is  important 
enough  to  deserve  a  definite  statement. 

You  will  discover  that  in  nine  cases  out  of  ten  the 
idea  you  thought  was  important  was  really  unimportant. 
Learn  to  end  your  letters  with  ideas  that  are  important 
and  to  do  it  without  abruptness.  It  is  not  abrupt  to  say, 
*'We  shall  give  our  careful  personal  attention  to  your 
next  order,  and  are  confident  that  we  shall  more  than 
please  you,"  or  ''We  should  be  glad  to  receive  your 
remittance  at  an  early  date." 

It  will  be  remembered  that  coherence,  demands  a  logi- 
cal progress  in  the  letter  from  the  reader's  point  of  view 
to  the  writer's.  In  view  of  this,  the  first  sentence  should 


178  Business  English 

be  of  greatest  importance  to  the  reader.  The  last  sen- 
tence may  be  of  greatest  importance  to  the  writer. 
Both  should  be  distinctive.  It  may  be  said  that  the 
ideal  emphasis  is  to  begin  with  you  and  end  with  us. 

Proportion  of  Space 

Of  the  other  means  of  emphasis,  that  which  comes 
from  proper  proportion  of  space,  it  is  not  necessary  to 
say  much.  Everybody  recognizes  the  principle,  but 
nearly  everybody,  forgets  it  when  he  is  writing.  Often 
we  see  a  letter  that  is  intended  to  sell  goods  using  three- 
fourths  of  its  space  in  attacking  competitors,  which  is  at 
best  a  negative  method  of  showing  the  virtues  of  a  pro- 
duct. Equally  often  we  see  a  letter  intended  to  collect 
money  wasting  space  in  apologies  for  requesting  it. 
These  ideas  may  deserve  to  be  included  but  they  do  not 
deserve  emphasis. 

Emphatic  Letter 

The  following  example  will  show  how  the  principle  of 
emphasis  is  applied: 

Gentlemen  : 

Those  engines  and  fuel-saving  appliances  of  yours 
—  why  not  boom  them?  You  would  never  have 
brought  them  out  if  you  had  not  felt  certain  you  could 
give  a  high-grade  service,  and  there  isn't  anything 
more  contagious  than  your  own  belief  on  this  point. 
That  fact  is  fundamental. 

Spread  the  contagion  on  THE  IRON  AGE  pages 
and  see  how  it  "catches."  It  will  surprise  and  please 
you  to  find  how  the  real  buyers  who  scan  our  columns 
are  drawn  to  your  statement,  if  it  be  direct  and  clear. 

Do  your  fuel-saving  appliances  apply  especially  well 
to  certain  kinds  of  plants?  State  the  fact.  Are  they 
cheaper?  Say  so.  And  with  all  your  saying  mix  in  some 
of  the  human  appeal  that  shows  your  good  nature  and 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  179 

your  good  faith.  Nothing  else  so  quickly  begets  con- 
fidence. 

Scores  of  reasons  could  be  advanced  for  telling  your 
story  now  in  our  columns.  We  do  not  propose  to  ad- 
vance them,  for  they  would  not  be  one-hundredth  part 
as  impressive  as  the  knowledge  you  hold  in  your  own 
mind  right  now  as  to  the  pulling  power  of  our  pages. 

We  shall  appreciate  an  early  word  from  you. 
Yours  very  truly, 

The  principles  given  in  this  chapter  will  be  applied  in 
later  chapters  to  various  types  of  letters.  They  are  ap- 
plicable to  all.  But  it  should  be  noted  that  they  are  not 
hard-and-fast  rules.  They  are  for  the  purpose  of  guiding 
the  hand,  not  restraining  it. 

Letter  writing  cannot  be  effective  unless  there  is 
ample  room  for  originahty  of  method  as  well  as  phrase. 
It  is,  however,  necessary  that  the  writer  should  have  a 
plan  and  depart  from  it  only  for  good  cause. 

Exercises 

1  You  are  the  purchasing  agent  of  the  city  of  Springfield,  Massa- 
chusetts. In  reorganizing  the  purchasing  of  supplies  so  as  to 
achieve  greater  efficiency  and  economy  in  the  expenditure  of  the 
city's  money,  you  have  adopted  certain  standards  of  materials. 
All  new  supplies  are  hereafter  to  be  purchased  through  you  in 
accordance  with  these  standards,  except  material  for  repairs, 
which  may  be  bought  by  the  individual  needing  them  according 
to  the  equipment  for  which  they  are  needed. 
You  have  also  decided  that  materials  should  be  purchased  in 
large  quantities,  and  not  as  heretofore  in  small  quantities  from 
various  different  contractors  and  supply  companies.  You  there- 
fore desire  to  have  the  various  departments  make  estimates  of 
their  requirements  for  three  months  and  submit  these  estimates 
to  you  at  the  beginning  of  each  quarter :  that  is  to  say,  on  the  first 
of  January,  April,  and  so  forth. 

Write  a  letter  to  the  chief  of  the  Fire  Department,  informing  him 
of  these  facts  and  inclosing  a  list  of  the  standards  that  have  been 
adopted  for  this  Department.  (This  list  of  standards  is  not  to  be 
written  by  the  student.)  Do  not  copy  the  language  that  is  written 
above.   Write  the  letter  in  the  official  form. 


180  Business  English 

2  What  principle  is  violated  in  the  following  letter  ? 

81  Vernon  Place, 
Albany,  N.Y., 
Sept.  14,  1916. 
Hotel  Charlemagne, 
New  York  City. 
Gentlemen  : 

Please  reserve  rooms  for  myself  and  party  of  five. 
We  shall  arrive  by  automobile  and  stay  a  week.  Want 
the  best. 

Truly  yours, 

Emmons  Bliss 

3  Rewrite  the  letter. 

4  What  principle  is  violated  in  the  following  letter? 

Wakeville,  Md. 
July  16,  1916. 
International  Suit  Co. 

Baltimore,  Md. 
Gentlemen  : 

In  reply  to  yours  of  the  13th  would  say  that  the  suit 
is  satisfactory,  but  had  to  be  altered  at  the  sleeves. 
The  work  was  done  by  a  dressmaker  here  who  charged 
25  cents  for  it,  which  I  think  you  should  pay. . 

The  suit  is  very  much  admired  and  I  think  you  will 
get  more  orders  from  here.  If  you  would  send  me  a  few 
catalogues  and  samples  of  cloth,  I  believe  I  could  use 
them  to  good  advantage. 

I  do  not  find  that  your  catalogues  contains  shoes. 
Can  you  recommend  some  one  to  me.  Awaiting  your 
early  reply,  I  remain. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Mrs.  Wilbur  Strong 

5  Rewrite  the  above  letter.  (Make  two  or  more  letters  if  necessary.) 

6  Revise  the  following  letter  for  better  coherence. 

Dear  Sir: 

We  notice  that  we  have  received  no  orders  from  you 
for  a  long  time.  We  beg  to  let  you  know  that  as  we  are 
now  manufacturing  our  kimonos  on  a  very  large  scale, 
and  we  have  reduced  the  prices  on  many  of  them.  We 
are  also  manufacturing  a  very  fine  line  of  satin  and 
messaline  embroidered  slip  robes,  and  tea  gowns.   We 


The  Construction  of  the  Letter  181 

also  beg  to  let  you  know  that  we  have  recently  received 
shipment  from  Japan  of  a  lot  of  Japanese  hand  em- 
broidered Mandarin  coats,  in  silk  and  in  crepe,  we  are 
selling  them  in  very  large  quantities,  and  we  are  sure 
that  it  will  be  a  good  line  with  you  also.  If  you  wish, 
we  will  be  pleased  to  send  you  a  range  of  our  samples, 
consisting  of  one  of  each  of  our  best  selling  numbers, 
and  we  will  quote  you  our  lowest  possible  prices 
thereon  and  if  you  find  any  that  does  not  meet  with 
your  approval,  you  can  return  them  to  us  at  our 
expense. 

We  hope  upon  receipt  of  this  letter  you  will  favor  us 
with  your  valued  order,  thanking  you  for  past  and 
future  favors,  we  beg  to  remain, 

Yours  very  truly, 

Mayer  &  Son 

7  Point  out  the  faults  in  the  following  letter. 

Dear  Sir: 

Yours  of  the  15th  inst.  duly  received  and  in  reply 
would  say  that  our  records  show  that  the  entire  order 
was  shipped  to  you  three  days  ago.  Do  not  understand 
why  same  have  not  been  received.  Will  investigate. 
Herewith  find  inclosed  check  for  $137.  balance  due  you 
for  excess  remittance. 

Hoping  for  continuance  of  your  patronage,  we  beg  to 
remain. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Vedzie  &  Co. 

8  Revise  the  above  letter  for  better  emphasis. 

9  Revise  the  following  letter  for  emphasis. 

My  dear  Sir: 

The  new  management  of  Hotel  Arthur  seeks  the 
presence  of  its  former  guests.  Having  learned  that  rep- 
resentatives of  your  firm  numbered  among  them,  we 
invite  you  to  again  favor  us  with  your  patronage. 

With  the  addition  of  our  new  two  hundred  room 
annex,  w^e  are  equipped  to  cater  to  the  business  man 
and  his  family. 

Assuring  you  of  our  very  best  attention,  and  thank- 
ing you  in  advance  for  a  reservation,  we  are. 
Yours  very  truly, 


CHAPTER  III 

ROUTINE   LETTERS 

The  Problem  of  Routine  Letters 

A  LARGE  part  of  business  correspondence  of  any  com- 
pany or  individual  consists  of  routine  letters.  In  such  let- 
ters one  can  safely  assume  that  the  writer  and  reader  are 
in  agreement,  and  that  it  is  necessary  only  for  the  reader 
to  know  the  writer's  desire,  in  order  to  respond  to  it. 
In  such  letters  clearness  is  the  most  essential  quality. 

The  most  important  types  of  routine  letters  are  in- 
quiries, orders,  "hurry-up"  letters,  and  answers  to  all 
of  these. 

Collection  letters,  appHcations,  adjustments,  and 
sales  letters  do  not  come  within  this  class.  In  the  case  of 
these,  the  writer  and  the  reader  are  not  usually  in  agree- 
ment, and  the  task  to  be  accomplished  is  more  difficult. 

Routine  letters  are  so  apparently  simple  that  many 
persons  do  not  give  them  the  attention  they  deserve. 
The  result  is  that  they  frequently  become  obscure  or 
discourteous,  and  they  even  more  frequently  lead  to  bad 
habits  of  stereotyped  and  trite  expressions  that  are  fatal 
in  other  kinds  of  letters.  Even  routine  letters  should 
not  be  written  in  routine  ways.  Each  one  should  be 
treated  as  a  matter  of  importance. 

Inquiries 

When  you  ask  for  a  catalogue  or  booklet;  when  you 
inquire  the  name  of  a  dealer  in  a  certain  article;  or  when 
you  make  any  other  inquiry  that  you  know  the  reader  is 

182 


Routine  Letters  183 

glad  to  answer,  your  letter  should  be  brief  and  to  the 
point.  Do  not  overload  it  with  material  that  has  no 
connection  with  the  subject,  or  that  does  not  help  the 
reader  to  answer  you.  If  you  want  a  catalogue  of  musi- 
cal instruments,  you  need  not  tell  of  your  ambitions  or 
your  difficulties,  nor  need  you  tell  of  your  importance  in 
the  musical  world. 

Even  in  answering  advertisements,  some  writers  in- 
dulge in  such  letters  as  the  following: 

Dear  Sir: 

Having  seen  your  advertisement  in  the  Monday 
Evening  Gazette  and  being  in  need  of  a  good  history  of 
Mexico,  I  am  writing  to  ask  if  you  will  send  me  a  book- 
let with  specimen  sheets  of  Smith's  History  of  Mexico 
as  advertised.  I  am  deeply  interested  in  historical 
work,  and  have  studied  extensively.  Hoping  to  receive 
an  early  reply, 

Yours  very  truly, 

All  that  is  necessary  in  such  a  case  is  a  note  like  the 
following: 

Dear  Sir: 

Please  send  me  a  copy  of  your  booklet  with  specimen 
sheets  of  "Smith's  History  of  Mexico,"  as  advertised 
in  the  Monday  Evening  Gazette. 

Yours  very  truly, 

If  you  have  several  inquiries  to  make  in  the  same 
letter,  give  each  a  separate  paragraph. 

110  East  Tenth  Street, 

Syracuse,  Mo.,  October  1,  1916. 
Wm.  J.  Jones,  Secretary, 
The  Jones  Business  School, 
St.  Louis,  Mo. 
Dear  Sir: 

Before  deciding  to  leave  my  present  position  to  take 
up  a  course  of  study  in  your  school,  I  should  like  a 
little  further  information. 


184  Business  English 

Will  it  be  possible  for  ihe  to  take  a  position  as  book- 
keeper and  still  carry  on  my  studies  satisfactorily? 

Does  the  school  give  assistance  in  finding  positions 
of  this  sort? 

What  salary  could  I  expect? 

I  shall  greatly  appreciate  a  prompt  answer  to  these 
inquiries. 

Yours  very  truly, 

James  Smith. 

Be  courteous  but  not  fulsome.  It  is  unnecessary  to 
insert  complimentary  adjectives;  such  as,  "your  expert 
advice,"  "your  valuable  experience,"  "your  kind  atten- 
tion." No  apology  is  needed  for  an  honest  inquiry,  and 
a  fawning  attitude  does  not  raise  you  in  the  estimation 
of  your  reader.  If  you  have  a  right  to  inquire,  inquire 
concisely. 

When  to  Inquire 

It  may  be  added  that  if  you  have  no  right  to  inquire, 
flattery  will  not  help  you  to  get  an  answer  that  is  of  any 
value.  Neither  will  the  inclosure  of  a  stamp  or  a 
stamped  self -addressed  envelope.  Many  persons  write  to 
a  business  man  for  information  or  even  advice  wholly 
apart  from  his  interests,  and  feel  that  the  inclosure  of  a 
stamp  entitles  them  to  his  valuable  time  and  attention. 
Frequently  he  answers,  but  this  fact  does  not  excuse  the 
action. 

If  you  have  an  inquiry  to  make,  consider  the  reader's 
point  of  view.  Put  yourself  in  his  place  and  decide 
whether  his  attention  is  necessary,  or  whether  the  in- 
formation can  be  obtained  equally  well  from  other 
sources.  Many  publications  have  inquiry  departments 
that  are  glad  to  be  of  assistance.  If  you  then  decide  to 
ask  the  business  man,  state  your  case  briefly  and  cour- 
teously, and  inclose  a  self -addressed  stamped  envelope 
as  a  convenience  to  him  in  case  he  is  willing  to  reply. 


Routine  Letters  185 

Answering  Inquiries 

The  inquiry  that  may  lead  to  a  sale  demands  the  first 
attention  of  a  business  house.  It  should  be  answered,  if 
possible,  the  day  it  is  received.  Even  if  the  catalogue  or 
booklet  asked  for  is  delayed  for  some  reason,  an  answer 
should  be  sent  at  once. 

This  answer  should  be  clear  and  complete,  It  should 
omit  no  item  of  information  asked  for.  Nothing  is  more 
irritating  to  a  man  than  to  receive  in  response  to  his 
inquiry  a  form  letter  that  was  designed  to  cover  some 
other  case.  One  woman  who  intended  to  buy  a  certain 
article,  wrote  three  times  to  the  manufacturer  to  obtain 
the  name  of  a  dealer  in  her  neighborhood,  and  each  time 
she  received  the  same  form  letter  assuring  her  that  there 
were  dealers  everywhere.  Naturally  she  did  not  buy  the 
article. 

The  following  illustrates  a  good  answer  to  an  inquiry: 

St.  Louis,  Mo. 
October  2,  1916. 
Mr.  James  Smith, 
Syracuse,  Mo. 
Dear  Sir: 

We  are  glad  to  hear  that  you  have  nearly  decided  to 
come  to  St.  Louis  to  enter  our  school,  and  hope  that 
the  information  we  can  give  you  will  help  you  reach 
this  decision. 

Our  classes  are  held  in  the  evening  as  well  as  the  day, 
and  most  of  the  evening  students  are  employed  during 
the  day  time.  It  takes  them  longer  to  complete  the  • 
course  of  study  but  their  work  is  of  as  high  quality  as 
that  of  the  day  students.  If  your  health  is  good,  there 
is  no  reason  why  you  should  not  do  as  well. 

Our  Employment  Department  is  at  your  service 
from  the  time  you  enroll.  Of  course  we  cannot  guaran- 
tee positions,  but  we  have  more  calls  than  we  have  can- 
didates. Last  year  we  filled  over  one  hundred  and  fifty 
positions. 


186  Business  English 

It  is  hard  to  say  what  salary  you  could  command 
without  knowing  more  about  your  training  and  experi- 
ence. In  general  we  should  say  that  salaries  are  a  little 
higher  here  than  in  your  own  city,  but  you  might 
have  to  begin  at  about  your  present  figure  or  even 
below  in  order  to  secure  the  change. 

We  are  confident,  however,  that  if  you  have  the  abil- 
ity your  letter  indicates  you  would  not  suffer  finan- 
cially from  the  change  and  you  might  benefit,  even  at 
the  start. 

If  there  are  any  other  facts  ;we  can  give  you,  please 
do  not  hesitate  to  call  upon  us.  We  shall  be  glad  to 
hear  from  you  further. 

Very  truly  yours. 

The  Jones  Business  School, 
W.  J.  Jones,  Secretary 

Exercises 

1  Write  to  the  Baker  &  Taylor  Co.,  354  Fourth  Ave.,  New  York 
City,  requesting  their  latest  book  catalogue. 

2  Write  to  Anthony  Hill,  Peterboro,  N.C.,  asking  for  quotations 
on  one-inch  pine  flooring  in  various  grades  and  lengths. 

3  Write  to  a  prominent  watch  manufacturing  company  asking  the 
name  of  a  dealer  in  your  city. 

4  You  are  preparing  for  a  debate  on  the  subject  of  minimum  wage 
laws.  Should  you  write  to  a  college  professor  of  economics  in 
some  college  and  ask  what  countries  have  such  laws.f^  What 
questions  might  you  ask  him.^ 

5  Assume  that  you  are  employed  by  your  school  to  answer  inquiries 
from  prospective  students.   Answer  the  following  letter: 

Gentlemen  : 

I  am  thinking  of  having  my  son  enter  a  school  that 
would  help  him  to  prepare  for  business,  probably  in  my 
own  employ.  I  have  a  clothing  store.  How  would  your 
school  help  him.^^  Is  the  work  practical.^  Would  it 
teach  him  to  keep  my  books?  My  worst  troubles  are  in 
collecting.  Does  your  school  teach  anything  about 
that?  Please  give  me  full  particulars. 
Very  truly  yours, 

E.  J.  Hawkins 

6  Criticize  and  revise  the  above  letter. 


Routine  Letters  187 

7  You  are  a  manufacturer  of  patent  electric  stoves.  Mrs.  L.  E. 
Sutherland  of  Kew,  L.I.  writes  that  she  has  seen  your  advertise- 
ment and  wants  the  name  of  a  dealer.  Answer  her  letter,  sending 
catalogue,  and  the  name  of  Gimbel  Brothers,  Sixth  Avenue  and 
33rd  Street,  New  York  City.  (The  store  is  within  one  block  of 
the  railroad  terminal  she  enters  when  she  comes  to  the  city.) 

8  Write  to  Gimbel  Brothers,  informing  them  of  the  inquiry. 

9  Write  a  letter  to  a  printer  asking  for  a  bid  on  your  school 
year  book  or  other  publication.  Give  the  specifications  com- 
pletely enough  to  avoid  any  possibility  of  misunderstanding. 

Orders 

Whenever  possible,  orders  should  be  written  on  order 
blanks  furnished  for  that  purpose.  There  is  then  little 
chance  of  error.  If  you  do  not  have  such  blanks  at 
hand,  write  your  letter  on  a  business  lettersheet,  making 
a  separate  paragraph  for  each  item  in  the  order. 

Observe  the  following  requirements: 

1  Give  all  details  of  description,  such  as  size,  shape, 
color,  style,  quality,  catalogue  number  (if  any),  and 
the  like,  that  can  be  of  help  in  filling  your  order  cor- 
rectly. Make  it  specific.  Don't  say,  "a  gray  woolen 
jersey,  medium  size."  Say  "one  light  weight  woolen 
jersey,  sleeveless,  low  neck,  color  gray,  size  36." 

^  State  how  you  wish  shipment  made. 

3  Unless  you  have  a  standing  arrangement,  such  as 
a  charge  account,  state  how  you  inclose  money,  or 
how  you  expect  to  make  remittance.  It  is  safest  to 
do  this  even  where  you  have  a  standing  arrange- 
ment. 

4  If  you  need  the  article  by  a  certain  date,  specify 
this. 

5  Give  name  and  address  in  full. 

6  If  you  are  entitled  to  a  discount,  for  any  reason, 
give  the  necessary  information  about  the  matter. 


188  Business  English 

Examples 

The  following  is  an  example  of  a  poorly  written  order: 

Somerville,  Feb.  16,  '16    . 
Litt  Bros. 

Phila.  Pa. 
Dear  Sirs: 

Please  send  at  once  a  dozen  fruit  jars,  a  package  of 
writing  paper,  a  pair  of  heavy  shoes,  six  cakes  of  soap 
and  a  post  card  album.    I  need  the  things  now,  so  hurry 
them  along  and  I  will  pay  the  bill  when  they  arrive. 
Yours, 

James  Shevlin 

None  of  the  articles  mentioned  are  described  suffi- 
ciently. The  writer's  address  is  not  complete  since  the 
state  is  omitted.  "Gentlemen"  is  preferable  to  ''Dear 
Sirs"  as  a  salutation,  and  several  other  details  of  form 
are  incorrect. 

The  same  letter  properly  written  would  read: 

Somerville,  N.J., 

February  16,  1916. 
Litt  Bros., 

1735  Chestnut  St., 
Philadelphia,  Pa. 
Gentlemen  : 

Please  send  me  the  following  articles  by  Adams  Ex- 
press as  soon  as  possible : 

1  doz.  Mason  fruit  jars,  quart  size. 
One  box  of  gloss  finish,  unruled  white  note-paper 
and  envelopes,  about  40  cents  in  price. 

A  pair  of  heavy  workman's  shoes,  size  8,  broad, 
worth  $2.50. 

Six  cakes  of  10  cent  Tar  soap. 

An  album  large  enough  for  500  post  cards,  plain 
cover,  at  $1.00  or  $1.25. 

Inclosed  is  a  money  order  for  $6.    Please  refund  any 
balance  due  me. 

Yours  truly, 

James  Shevlin 


Routine  Letters  189 

Inclosures 

The  subject  of  inclosures  is  fully  considered  in  Part 
II,  Chapter  iv,  and  may  profitably  be  reviewed  by 
the  student.  Whatever  form  of  remittance  is  used,  the 
nature  as  well  as  the  amount  of  it  should  be  stated  in 
the  letter. 

It  is  well  to  write  below  the  letter  at  the  left-hand 
side  the  word  ''Inclosure"  or  the  abbreviation,  ''Inch" 
If  two  or  more  checks  or  other  papers  are  inclosed,  the 
fact  should  be  indicated  as  "2  inclosures,"  or  "3  incl." 

Answering  Orders 

Orders,  like  inquiries,  should  receive  immediate  atten- 
tion. A  leading  mail-order  house  in  Chicago  has  a 
standing  rule  that  every  order  shall  be  filled,  if  possible, 
the  day  it  is  received. 

If  only  part  of  the  order  can  be  filled,  these  articles 
should  be  sent,  and  a  letter  accompanying  should  prom- 
ise that  the  remainder  will  be  sent  as  soon  as  possible. 
In  such  a  letter  it  is  wise  to  lay  emphasis,  by  position 
and  proportion,  upon  the  fact  that  some  of  the  articles 
are  being  sent.  Regret  should  be  expressed  that  the 
remainder  will  be  delayed  for  a  few  days.  The  cause  of 
the  delay  should  be  explained. 

If  the  order  is  inadequate  in  its  description  of  some  of 
the  articles,  the  others  should  be  sent  and  further  in- 
formation requested  on  those  not  adequately  described. 
In  some  cases  it  is  possible  to  send  even  these,  by  using  a 
little  judgment.  If  the  order  is  indefinite  in  all  respects, 
the  answer  should  be  written  in  such  a  way  as  not  to 
offend  the  customer  or  to  cast  slurs  upon  his  intelligence. 

The  following  letters  illustrate  the  wrong  and  the 
right  way  to  handle  such  an  order: 


190  Business  English 

Wrong : 

February  20,  1916 
Mr.  James  Shevlin, 

Somerville,  N.J. 
Dear  Mr.  Shevlin  :  — 

We  hereby  notify  you  that  your  esteemed  letter  of 
the  16th  inst.  was  received,  and  received  prompt  atten- 
tion. We  are  unable  to  fill  your  order,  however,  as  the 
said  order  does  not  tell  what  kind  and  quality  of  goods 
you  want.  Moreover  you  do  not  state  how  you  wish 
the  goods  shipped,  and  enclose  no  funds. 

If  you  will  send  the  necessary  information  regarding 
the  quality  and  kind  of  goods  desired,  and  inclose  a 
sufficient  amount  to  cover  transportation  at  least,  we 
will  attend  to  your  order  immediately. 

Yours  very  truly, 

LiTT  Bros. 
Right  : 

February  20,  1916. 
James  Shevlin,  Esq., 
Somerville,  N.J. 

Dear  Sir: 

We  were  pleased  to  receive  your  order  of  February  16, 
but  as  we  wish  to  be  sure  of  filling  it  to  your  entire  satis- 
faction, we  would  ask  that  you  furnish  us  with  a  little 
additional  information  regarding  the  articles  you  desire. 

The  Mason  fruit  jar,  quart  size,  is  the  kind  which 
we  sell  to  most  of  our  customers.  The  price  is  one  dol- 
lar ($1)  per  dozen.  Perhaps  this  brand  and  size  would 
suit  you  unless  you  have  some  special  preference. 

We  would  also  ask  that  you  denote  the  size  required 
in  shoes,  and  the  price  you  wish  to  pay  for  them.  A 
fuller  description  will  be  necessary  for  the  other  arti- 
cles, too,  in  order  that  we  may  select  them  to  as  good 
advantage  as  though  you  were  here  in  the  store  and 
could  make  your  own  choice. 

We  shall  be  pleased  to  have  you  write  us  fully  so 
that  complete  satisfaction  may  be  assured. 
Yours  very  truly, 

LiTT  Bros. 


Routine  Letters  191 

Exercises 

1  Write  a  letter  to  a  book  store  in  a  nearby  city,  ordering  at  least 
three  books. 

2  Write  to  Sears,  Roebuck  &  Co.,  Chicago,  Illinois,  ordering  an 
ice-cream  freezer,  an  alarm  clock,  and  a  pair  of  rubber  boots. 
You  have  no  catalogue,  or  order  blank,  and  therefore  you  must 
give  a  full  description  of  each  article. 

3  Write  to  A.  G.  Spalding  &  Co.,  New  York  City,  ordering  a  tennis 
racket,  a  half  dozen  tennis  balls,  and  two  baseball  gloves.  One  of 
the  gloves  is  to  be  delivered  to  a  friend  in  a  nearby  city.  The 
other  articles  are  to  be  delivered  to  you. 

4  You  are  a  correspondent  in  the  firm  of  Lord  &  Co.,  13  Wakefield 
St.,  New  York  City,  selling  children's  dresses,  rompers,  and  shoes 
by  mail.  You  have  received  from  Mrs.  J.  G.  Buyers,  44  West  St., 
Wareham,  Mass.,  the  following  order: 

1  pair  rompers.  No.  1121,  blue,  size  3 $  .85 

1  pair  No.  1412,  white,  size  3 1.25 

1  pair  white  buckskin  shoes.  No.  483,  size  6 2.00 

Remittance  inclosed  in  form  of  P.O.  Money  order  $4.10 

You  can  send  the  first  two  items,  but  the  shoes  are  temporarily 
out  of  stock  in  the  size  wanted.  You  will  be  able  to  supply  them 
in  about  a  week,  or  can  supply  the  shoes  in  brown  kid.  No.  491 
now.   W^rite  the  answer. 

5  You  have  received  an  order  from  Mrs.  W.  H.  Sells,  Freeport, 
R.I.,  for 

2  pairs  gingham  rompers,  blue  and  pink,  size  3,  price 
not  over  $1  each. 

1  pair  child's  sandals,  price  about  $1.00 
1  child's  white  duck  hat,  price  about  .50 
Remittance  inclosed  $3.50 

You  can  fill  the  first  item  with  your  No.  1121,  but  need  more 
information  about  the  other  items.   Write  the  letter. 

6  You  have  a  used  camera  to  sell,  on  which  a  friend  has  requested 
you  to  set  a  price.  Write  a  letter  describing  the  article  some- 
what in  detail  and  offering  it  to  him  for  $15. 

7  Write  a  letter  accepting  the  offer,  inclosing  suitable  form  of 
remittance,  and  asking  that  the  camera  be  sent  by  express. 

8  Rewrite  the  following  letter  in  better  form : 


192  Business  English 

32  Beverly  Place,  Boston, 
November  3,  '16. 
Mr.  Henry  Rose, 

44  Livingston  Place, 
City. 
Dear  Sir: 

We  beg  to  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  your  valued 
order  of  October  24th,  and  in  reply  beg  to  state  that 
we  have  not  the  business  English  notebook  in  stock, 
and  therefore  cannot  send  same  for  some  days.  The 
book  on  "Business  Methods,"  by  Hamilton  is  also 
temporarily  out  of  stock,  but  we  expect  a  new  supply 
most  any  day.  As  to  Taussig's  "Elements  of  Eco- 
nomics" we  wish  to  state  that  same  has  been  for- 
warded to  you  by  Adams  Express,  and  we  trust  it  will 
arrive  in  good  order. 

We  have  the  notebook  covers  for  the  Business  Eng- 
lish but  not  the  paper  which  is  used  as  filler.  Our  print- 
ers promised  to  deliver  same  several  days  ago,  but 
have  not  received  it  as  yet.  We  have  had  considerable 
trouble  with  the  printers  and  beg  that  you  will  under- 
stand it  is  no  fault  of  ours  that  we  are  unable  to  supply 
your  order.  Our  order  for  book  in  "Business  Meth- 
ods "  was  placed  over  a  month  ago  and  we  fail  to  under- 
stand why  same  have  not  been  delivered. 

We  credit  your  account  with  the  amount  of  your 
check  and  shall  see  that  the  balance  of  your  order  is 
sent  as  soon  as  possible. 

Thanking  you  for  your  order  and  awaiting  your 
further  favors,  we  beg  to  remain. 

Very  truly  yours. 

The  University  Book  Store, 

Thomas  Blank,  Manager 

Hurry-up  Letters 

When  you  have  ordered  goods  and  have  failed  to  re- 
ceive them  at  the  time  they  were  promised,  or  within  a 
reasonable  interval,  it  is  often  necessary  to  send  a  hurry- 
up  letter,  in  which  you  urge  that  the  transaction  be 
completed.  Such  a  letter  should  have  a  certain  amount 
of  "sting"  in  it,  for  the  main  thing  is  to  get  action. 

Ordinarily  you  would  begin  by  giving  the  reason  for 


Routine  Letters  193 

the  letter.  You  would  then  relate  the  history  of  the 
transaction  up  to  date,  and  state  the  circumstances 
which  led  to  your  writing  the  letter.  If  the  order  was 
not  acknowledged,  you  should  repeat  it:  otherwise  it  is 
enough  to  give  the  date  and  a  brief  statement  of  its 
contents. 

It  is  not  the  wisest  plan  to  urge  greater  promptness 
solely  on  the  ground  of  your  necessities,  although  these 
may  be  mentioned.  You  should  not  be  compelled  to  ask 
for  prompt  delivery  as  a  favor.  It  is  better  to  make  the 
reader  feel  that  he  should  be  prompt  as  a  matter  of 
business  principle,  and  that  his  tardiness  is  injuring  his 
own  interests. 

The  ''sting"  at  the  end  may  be  simply  a  request  for 
immediate  delivery.  Or  it  may  contain  a  threat  that 
the  order  will  be  canceled  if  the  goods  are  not  received 
within  a  certain  time.  Frequently  it  is  well  to  request  a 
reply  with  a  promise  of  delivery  by  a  certain  date.  If 
your  correspondent  can  be  led  to  fix  a  date  upon  which 
delivery  will  positively  be  completed,  he  is  likely  to  live 
up  to  his  promise. 

A  hurry-up  letter  should  be  courteous,  no  matter  how 
annoying  the  situation  may  be.  Nothing  is  gained  by 
harsh  language.  If  a  second  and  a  third  hurry-up  letter 
become  necessary,  these  should  be  stronger  than  the 
first,  and  they  may  be  more  irritating.  But  they  should 
not  appear  to  be  the  result  of  the  writer's  irritation,  nor 
should  they  contain  abusive  language.  Such  language 
has  no  place  in  business  letters. 

In  any  hurry-up  letter,  more  emphasis  should  be 
placed  upon  the  service  you  expect  in  the  future  than 
on  the  disappointments  you  have  suffered  in  the  past. 
Your  tone  should  not  be  negative  and  quarrelsome,  but 
positive  and  stimulating. 


194  Business  English 

Examples 

The  following  examples  will  illustrate: 

Bad: 

August  6,  1916. 
Messrs.  Gary  &  Leeds, 
Brightwood,  Mass. 
Gentlemen  : 

What  on  earth  has  happened  to  those  catalogues 
you  are  printing  for  us.  Anyone  would  think  by  your 
actions  that  a  catalogue  was  a  thing  that  could  be  sent 
out  any  time  between  now  and  New  Years. 

We  told  you  it  was  a  rush  job.  Why  don't  you  get 
busy?  Are  you  asleep  or  dead? 

We  have  a  pile  of  envelopes  a  mile  high  waiting  for 
those  catalogues,  and  every  day  they  wait  is  costing  us 
money.  If  we  can't  get  action  mighty  quick  we'll  find 
some  one  who  can  get  a  job  done  when  he  promises. 

Yours, 

A.  L.  Ely 

This  letter  is  discourteous  as  well  as  quarrelsome  in 
tone. 

Better* 

May  6,  1916. 
Messrs.  Gary  &  Leeds, 
Brightwood,  Mass. 
Gentlemen  : 

You  will  not  be  surprised  to  get  this  letter  from  me 
in  view  of  the  many  that  you  have  already  received  — 
to  say  nothing  of  telephone  calls  —  in  reference  to  our 
catalogue  job,  which  you  promised  to  deliver  May  4. 

Promises  are  sometimes  elastic.  We  do  not  look  at 
our  own  in  that  way,  and  we  consequently  depend  on 
the  promises  of  others.  Two  days  may  not  seem  a  long 
time  to  you,  but  it  is  a  long  time  for  customers  to  wait 
for  catalogues. 

Our  envelopes  were  addressed  several  days  ago.  We 


Routine  Letters  195 

are  waiting  upon  you,  and  it  is  no  exaggeration  to  say 
that  every  day's  waiting  costs  us  money. 

We  cannot  afford  to  deal  with  firms  whose  promises 
cannot  be  rehed  upon  to  the  letter.  We  want  immedi- 
ate action  upon  this. 

Truly  yours, 

A.  L.  Ely 

Answers  to  Hurry-up  Letters 

An  answer  to  a  hurry-up  letter  should  be  sent  imme- 
diately and  should  be  conciliatory  in  tone.  It  should 
explain  the  reason  for  delay  and  promise  prompt  deliv- 
ery. If  possible  a  definite  date  should  be  given.  If  there 
are  any  advantages  the  reader  has  gained  by  the  delay, 
these  should  be  mentioned. 

The  following  will  illustrate: 

August  6,  1916. 
Mr.  A.  L.  Ely, 

Boston,  Mass. 
Dear  Sir: 

The  first  consignment  of  10,000  catalogues  came 
from  the  bindery  this  morning  and  is  now  on  its  way 
to  you  via  Adams  Express.  The  remaining  10,000  will 
follow  to-morrow. 

We  regret  the  delay  as  much  as  you  do,  especially  in 
view  of  the  fact  that  we  rushed  your  order  all  we  could. 

The  fault  is  not  wholly  ours.  You  will  remember 
that  your  paper  had  to  be  specially  made.  The  manu- 
facturer was  a  day  late  in  delivering  it,  and  then  we 
found  that  it  was  not  thoroughly  seasoned;  so  it  could 
not  be  put  upon  the  presses  at  once.  Had  we  done  so  it 
would  have  been  at  the  sacrifice  of  quality. 

We  believe  that  you  will  excuse  the  delay  when  you 
see  the  catalogues.  It  is  one  of  the  best  jobs  we  have 
turned  out  this  year. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Gary  &  Leeds 
J.  H.  Gary,  Secretary 


V 


196  Business  English 

Exercises 

1  It  is  now  a  week  since  you  ordered  three  books  from  a  store  in  a 
nearby  city.  You  have  not  received  the  books  nor  any  acknowl- 
edgment of  your  order.   Write  a  hurry-up  letter. 

2  You  received  a  tennis  racket,  6  tennis  balls,  and  a  baseball  glove 
from  A.  G.  Spalding  &  Co.,  five  days  ago.  Your  friend  in  a  nearby 
city  for  whom  you  ordered  a  glove  at  the  same  time  you  ordered 
your  own  has  not  yet  received  it.   Write  a  hurry-up  letter. 

3  Mrs.  J.  G.  Buyers,  Wareham,  Mass.,  ordered  goods  from  Lord  & 
Co.,  New  York  City.  She  received  part  of  the  goods  and  a  prom- 
ise that  the  shoes  would  follow  in  a  week.  It  is  now  a  week  later 
than  the  promised  date.  Write  a  hurry-up  letter,  in  the  name  of 
Mrs.  Buyers. 

4  Answer  the  letter.  Tell  her  that  the  factory  is  overcrowded  with 
orders  at  this  season,  but  that  you  will  send  them  surely  in  five 
days. 

5  You  gave  'Edward  Comstock  an  order  to  put  screens  on  your 
house  a  month  ago.  He  acknowledged  the  order,  but  you  have 
seen  no  signs  of  activity  on  his  part.  It  is  now  June  15.  Write  a 
hurry-up  letter. 

6  Write  Mr.  Comstock's  answer.  He  has  many  orders  for  this  kind 
of  work  and  is  filling  them  in  the  order  in  which  he  received  them. 
Your  screens  are  now  being  made  and  will  be  put  up  by  June  25. 


CHAPTER  IV 
CLAIMS  AND   ADJUSTMENTS 

Claims  versus  Complaints 

Many  progressive  business  houses  no  longer  have 
what  they  call  a  complaint  department.  The  adjust- 
ment department  has  taken  its  place. 

This  is  not  because  the  house  no  longer  receives  or 
makes  complaints.  So  long  as  the  human  element  enters 
into  business,  mistakes  will  occur,  and  difficulties  and 
disputes  will  arise.  And  these  mistakes  have  to  be  recti- 
fied; the  disputes  have  to  be  settled. 

But  there  is  a  real  reason  for  avoiding  the  word  "com- 
plaint. "  It  has  a  bad  suggestion.  To  look  upon  a  letter 
as  a  complaint  is  to  look  upon  it  with  contempt.  To 
make  a  complaint  is  to  whine.  There  should  be  no  com- 
plaints or  answers  to  complaints.  There  should  be  only 
claims  and  adjustments. 

How  to  Make  a  Claim  ' 

Before  taking  up  the  adjustment,  it  may  be  well 
briefly  to  discuss  the  nature  of  the  claim,  if  we  have  to 
make  one. 

The  fact  that  we  call  it  a  claim  rather  than  a  com- 
plaint is  the  key  to  the  whole  situation.  It  must  be 
courteous,  and  courtesy  does  not  admit  of  displays  of 
temper,  or  the  use  of  sarcasm.  When  we  feel  that  we 
have  a  grievance,  it  is  difficult  to  remain  calm.  But  rude- 
ness, sarcasm,  and  vituperation  never  accomplish  any- 
thing, except  perhaps  to  delay  settlement. 

197 


198  Business  English 

The  following  is  an  illustration  of  the  kind  of  letters 
that  should  not  be  written  —  or,  at  least,  not  sent; 

April  1,  1916. 
Monitor  Trunk  Co., 

Yalesville,  Ohio. 
Gents  : 

You  certainly  have  a  nerve  to  plaster  your  trunks 
with  guarantees  for  five  years.  Five  months  is  about 
their  limit.  I  have  had  mine  less  than  a  year  and  now 
it  is  n't  fit  for  kindling  wood. 

What  kind  of  wood  do  you  use  in  these  trunks  any- 
how —  pine  or  Slippery  elm.^^  And  the  covering  —  why 
it  isn't  even  first  quality  cardboard. 

But  perhaps  you  thought  I  would  put  the  trunk  up 
in  the  attic  and  not  use  it  for  five  years. 

Anyhow  I  shall  have  to  call  your  bluff  of  exchange 
or  money  back.  I  don't  want  another  —  when  I  buy  a 
trunk  I  want  a  trunk.   I  want  my  money  back. 
Yours  respectfully, 

Adam  Smith 

A  letter  like  this  would  be  a  strong  temptation  to  re- 
ply in  the  same  vein,  though  it  would  not  be  a  justifica- 
tion for  such  a  reply. 

The  better  way  is  first  to  make  sure  that  you  have  a 
grievance  and  then  to  state  it  clearly  and  simply.  You 
should  give  all  the  necessary  facts  and  either  ask  for  the 
adjustment  you  think  is  fair  or  wait  for  your  reader  to 
make  the  advance  toward  a  settlement. 

The  above  letter  would  then  read  somewhat  as  fol- 
lows : 

April  1,  1916. 
The  Monitor  Trunk  Co., 
Yalesville,  Ohio. 
,  Gentlemen  : 

I  regret  to  inform  you  that  the  Monitor  trunk  which 
I  purchased  from  your  local  dealer,  E.  Samuelson, 
June  4,  1915,  has  failed  to  live  up  to  your  five-year 


Claims  and  Adjustments  199 

guarantee.  In  fact  the  trunk  is  now  in  sueh  bad  condi- 
tion that  I  would  not  risk  it  on  another  journey. 

I  must  therefore  request  that  in  accordance  with  the 
terms  of  your  guarantee,  you  refund  the  purchase  price 
of  twenty -six  dollars  ($26). 

Respectfully  yours, 

Adam  Smith 

Answering  Just  Claims 

No  matter  how  discourteous  and  even  insulting  a 
claim  or  complaint  may  be,  the  answer  should  be  cour- 
teous. The  customer  must  be  pacified  and  kept  a 
friend,  if  possible. 

To  this  end,  it  is  well  to  begin  the  letter  with  an  expres- 
sion of  regret  and  sympathy.  Then  you  can  explain  how 
the  cause  for  complaint  occurred,  and  how  it  is  being 
settled.  You  would  naturally  end  by  expressing  a  desire 
for  a  continuance  of  his  patronage,  and  assuring  him  of 
better  service  in  the  future. 

Routine  Claims 

Most  of  the  claims  that  arise  in  the  ordinary  routine 
of  business  may  be  grouped  in  two  main  classes: 

1  Claims  of  unsatisfactory  delivery; 

2  Claims  of  unsatisfactory  goods. 

In  the  first  class  belong  claims  that  the  goods  were 
not  delivered,  that  they  were  delayed,  that  there  was  a 
shortage,  or  that  the  goods  were  damaged.  In  the  sec- 
ond class  belong  claims  that  the  goods  were  not  as  or- 
dered, or  that  the  quality  was  not  satisfactory. 

In  the  first  class  the  difficulty  is  frequently  caused  by 
the  transportation  company.  In  such  cases  the  adjust- 
ment is  usually  made  by  duplicating  the  shipment,  or 
the  part  of  it  that  was  missing  or  damaged,  or  offering  to 
do  so.   The  addressee  is  then  asked  to  make  his  claim 


200  Business  English 

against  the  transportation  company  for  the  loss  suffered. 
A  few  houses  make  a  practice  of  taking  up  such  claims 
in  behalf  of  their  customers.  They  merely  request  the 
customer  to  have  the  claim  agent  of  the  transportation 
company  make  his  inspection  and  to  send  them  the 
necessary  affidavits  and  papers. 

The  following  letter  illustrates  a  good  letter  of  adjust- 
ment for  a  claim  of  damage,  where  the  transportation 
company  was  responsible: 

Gentlemen  : 

We  are  sorry  to  learn  by  your  letter  of  January  26th 
that  the  case  of  notebooks  we  shipped  to  you  arrived  in 
poor  condition  and  that  133  of  them  were  so  damaged 
as  to  be  unsalable. 

The  goods  were  carefully  inspected  before  they  left 
our  factory  and  were  delivered  to  the  X.  Y.  Z.  Railroad 
in  perfect  condition,  as  is  shown  by  the  receipt  which 
we  hold.  It  is  clear,  therefore,  that  they  were  damaged 
in  transit.  Possibly  the  case  was  left  out  in  the  open  by 
the  Railroad  and  was  rained  upon. 

We  suggest  that  you  institute  a  claim  immediately 
against  the  Railroad  Company.  Perhaps  you  have 
already  done  so.  We  believe  you  will  have  no  difficulty 
in  recovering  the  amount  in  full. 

We  would  send  you  immediately  133  more  note- 
books in  place  of  those  damaged,  if  it  were  possible. 
But  as  you  know  these  goods  were  made  up  on  special 
order,  and  consequently  it  will  be  ten  days  before  we 
can  have  them  ready.  We  shall  put  in  a  rush  order  for 
them  and  hasten  delivery  as  much  as  possible. 

We  trust  that  this  unavoidable  delay  will  not  seri- 
ously inconvenience  you. 

Very  truly  yours, 

If  your  company,  instead  of  the  railroad,  were  re- 
sponsible, the  general  method  and  tone  of  the  letter 
would  be  the  same.  You  would,  however,  take  the 
responsibility,  make  proper  adjustment,  and  show  that 


Claims  and  Adjustments  201 

precautions  have  been  taken  to  avoid  a  recurrence  of 
the  difficulty. 

In  doing  this,  you  should  be  concise  and  specific. 
Verbose,  vague  explanations  and  promises  are  value- 
less. Nor  is  it  necessary  to  reveal  all  the  inside  work- 
ings of  your  business  to  show  how  the  mistake  oc- 
curred. The  main  point  is  to  soothe  the  customer's 
ruffled  feelings  and  convince  him  that  service  in  the 
future  will  be  all  that  he  can  desire. 

The  following  example  is  a  good  instance  of  what  not 
to  do: 

The  Quick-Print  Company, 
23  East  Street, 

New  York,  January  2nd,  1916. 
Empire  Novelty  C  o. 
1721  Main  St. 
Buffalo,  N.Y. 
Gentlemen  : 

In  answer  to  yours  of  the  29th  ult.  You  complain 
that  the  catalogue  we  printed  for  you  was  not  delivered 
until  two  weeks  after  the  date  we  promised  and  the 
paper  was  heavier  in  weight  than  you  ordered,  thus  in- 
creasing your  postal  bills,  and  the  ink  on  a  considerable 
part  of  the  edition  poor.  Of  course -you  can't  expect 
first  class  work  at  the  price  you  pay.  You  could  not  get 
anywhere  near  as  good  done  anywhere  else  at  the  price. 
Besides,  we  think  you  are  unreasonable  in  kicking 
about  the  paper,  which  is  of  a  better  grade  than  the 
one  you  ordered,  which  could  not  be  procured  at  this 
time, 

We  cannot  always  be  responsible  for  delays.  This 
time  it  was  a  strike  that  tied  up  our  establishment  for 
several  days.  Then  many  of  the  men  were  green  and  so 
could  not  work  as  well  as  the  old.  It  was  one  that 
caused  the  bad  ink,  by  letting  it  dry  on  the  rollers,  but 
we  have  threatened  to  discharge  him  if  it  happens  on 
one  of  your  jobs  again.  There  probably  was  not  more 
than  5  per  cent  damaged  in  this  way,  which  is  not  very 


202  Business  English 

serious.  We  are  sorry  that  it  happened,  for  we  Hke  to 
have  a  reputation  for  good  work,  no  matter  what 
the  circumstances  are.  We  will  do  better  next  time. 
Hoping  you  will  give  us  a  chance  to  show  you 
what  we  can  do  when  we  try  and  thanking  you  in  an- 
ticipation, we  remain, 

Very  truly  yours. 
The  Quick-Print  Company 
Per.  L.  B.  Slow 

The  following  letter  shows  a  better  way  of  dealing 
with  this  situation.  Notice  that  the  facts  stated  are  sub- 
stantially the  same;  the  difference  is  in  the  presentation. 

Gentlemen  : 

We  share  your  regret  that  there  was  such  a  delay  in 
the  delivery  of  your  catalogues,  and  that  the  paper  and 
ink  did  not  quite  come  up  to  your  expectations.  Even 
at  the  low  price  we  charged  you  for  the  work,  we  had 
expected  to  turn  out  a  first-class  job. 

You  would  probably,  however,  have  had  very  much 
the  same  difficulties  with  any  other  firm  you  had  given 
the  work  to.  As  you  may  have  noticed  by  the  papers, 
practically  all  the  printing  establishments  in  the  city 
have  been  tied  up  for  the  past  month  with  the  general 
printers'  strike.  We  were  therefore  compelled  tempor- 
arily to  hire  unskilled  men  who  were  unable  to  do  the 
work  so  rapidly  or  so  well  as  our  own  employees,  who 
had  been  with  us  for  many  years. 

You  can  see  therefore  that  we  labored  under  great 
difficulties  in  turning  out  your  work.  An  additional 
difficulty  was  the  fact  that  the  mills  have  discon- 
tinued making  paper  of  the  grade  you  ordered.  In 
order  not  to  increase  the  delay,  we  took  the  liberty  of 
substituting  in  place  of  it  a  more  expensive  grade.  No 
doubt  the  quality  will  partly  compensate  you  for  the 
extra  postal  bills :  however,  if  you  will  send  us  a  state- 
ment, showing  the  extra  charge,  we  shall  be  glad  to 
deduct  that  from  the  face  of  the  bill.  We  shall  also  be 
glad  to  allow  you  a  discount  for  any  imperfect  copies 
which  you  may  return  to  us. 


Claims  and  Adjustments  203 

As  we  said  before  we  are  very  sorry  indeed  that  you 
were  compelled  to  suffer  this  annoyance.  Our  old  men 
have  now  returned  to  work,  and  we  have  installed 
some  new  machinery,  so  that  we  shall  be  in  better  posi- 
tion to  serve  you  in  the  future  than  we  have  been  in  the 
past,  and  assure  you  that  you  will  not  be  subjected  to 
similar  diflBculties  again. 

Very  truly  yours, 

In  the  first  of  the  above  examples,  the  writer  violates 
the  rule  of  emphasis  by  giving  too  much  space  to  a  repe- 
tition of  the  complaints  and  thus  reminding  the  reader 
too  forcibly  of  his  many  grievances.  Then  he  takes  an 
antagonistic  attitude  and  says  his  correspondent  is  un- 
reasonable. At  the  end  he  practically  confesses  that  he 
has  not  tried  to  do  his  best  work. 

The  second  letter  shows  a  willingness  to  meet  the 
complainant  half  way  and  reimburse  him  for  his  losses. 
It  indicates  that  the  difficulties  were  unusual  and  unfore- 
seen, and  that  the  printer  tried  to  give  the  best  possible 
service  under  the  circumstances.  It  closes  with  an 
assurance  of  better  treatment  in  the  future. 

Simplifying  the  Adjustment 

In  no  case  of  a  reasonable  claim  should  you  fail  at  the 
outset  to  agree  to  make  an  exchange.  Frequently  after 
doing  this,  and  thus  assuring  the  reader  of  your  fairness, 
you  can  make  an  adjustment  upon  a  basis  less  costly  to 
you  and  equally  satisfactory  from  the  customer's  stand- 
point. This  you  do  by  offering  an  alternative  and  show- 
ing that  such  an  alternative  is  to  his  interest. 

The  following  letter  will  illustrate: 

Dear  Sir: 

You  don't  know  how  much  we  regret  that  the  go- 
cart  reached  you  in  a  damaged  condition.  While  our 
records  show  that  the  cart  was  all  right  in  every  way 


204  Business  English 

when  it  went  through  the  inspection  department,  yet 
under  no  circumstances  would  we  want  you  to  keep 
anything  from  our  house  that  is  unsatisfactory. 

From  what  you  write,  we  infer  that  the  cart  is  only 
marred  and  scratched  and  we  have  not  the  least  doubt 
that  a  little  of  our  Charter  Oak  Furniture  Polish  will 
give  just  as  fine  a  finish  as  when  the  cart  left  the  fac- 
tory. We  are  sending  you  a  bottle  and  polishing  cloth, 
and  probably  five  minutes'  work  will  make  the  cart 
look  as  good  as  new. 

But  if  it  does  not,  we  will  make  it  right.  You  can 
return  the  cart  at  our  expense  and  we  will  ship  you  a 
new  one,  express  prepaid,  or  will  refund  your  money. 

Won't  you  try  the  polish  at  once  and  let  us  know  if 
it  is  satisfactory  .f^  If  it  is,  it  will  save  you  an  annoying 
delay  in  getting  another  cart.  Please  write  us  regard- 
ing it  at  once. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Brown  &  Brown 

By  Thomas  White 

Claims  of  Poor  Quality  of  Goods 

When  someone  makes  a  vague  and  general  claim  that 
the  goods  you  sold  him  do  not  come  up  to  expectations, 
or  are  not  as  represented,  a  delicate  but  firm  touch  is 
needed.  This  is  especially  true  if  the  writer  demands 
some  rebate  which  you  cannot  grant,  in  justice  to  your 
other  customers.  You  need  to  free  yourself  from  the 
charge  of  misrepresentation,  and  at  the  same  time  avoid 
any  implication  that  the  claim  is  not  made  in  good  faith. 

The  following  letter  handles  this  situation  fairly  well: 

Dear  Sir: 

We  have  read  your  letter  of  June  6th  carefully  and 
feel  deeply  sorry  that  you  are  not  satisfied  with  the 
goods  sent  you.  If  you  will  tell  us  just  what  is  the  mat- 
ter with  them,  we  shall  be  able  to  take  up  the  matter  in 
detail  and  tell  you  what  can  be  done.  We  want  all  our 
customers  to  feel  that  they  are  well  treated  when  they 


Claims  and  Adjustments  205 

deal  with  us,  and  you  will  find  us  anxious  to  make 
every  fair  adjustment  that  is  possible. 

It  would  help  us  greatly  in  tracing  the  shipment  if 
you  could  send  us  the  invoice  you  received  through  the 
mail,  and  if  you  would  check  on  that  the  articles  which    * 
have  disappointed  you. 

We  shall  do  our  best  to  fix  the  matter  to  please  you. 
Very  truly  yours, 

Handling  the  Unfair  Adjustment 

Similar  to  this  is  the  frequent  case  of  the  customer 
who  deliberately  makes  his  own  adjustment  by  deduct- 
ing a  discount  to  which  he  is  not  entitled,  or  deducting 
transportation  charges,  or  in  some  other  way  remitting 
a  less  amount  than  that  which  he  owes.  It  requires 
courage  to  return  his  check,  and  many  firms  fail  in  this 
crisis.  But  if  this  is  not  done,  it  is  usually  impossible  to 
collect  the  small  amount  deducted.  The  only  safe  way  is 
to  return  the  remittance,  with  a  courteous  but  firm  letter 
explaining  that  you  cannot  allow  the  deduction,  for  good 
reasons  which  you  give. 

These  reasons  include  his  knowledge  of  the  terms, 
your  policy  of  fair  treatment  to  all,  and  the  like.  Do  not 
accuse  the  customer  of  dishonesty,  even  though  you  sus- 
pect it.  Simply  show  him  that  his  claim  is  not  allowable, 
and  that  to  allow  it  would  only  prove  you  tobe  unreliable. 

Unjust  Claims 

Many  claims  about  goods  are  unjust  and  unwar- 
ranted. In  answering  these  it  is  easy  to  lose  patience. 
But  do  not  tell  the  reader  that  he  is  '*  kicking  about 
nothing"  or  "barking  up  the  wrong  tree."  Do  not  use 
the  word  complaint  or  similar  words  in  your  answers. 

Observe  the  rule  of  emphasis  by  laying  as  little  stress 
as  possible  upon  the  reader's  displeasure.     Instead  of 


206  Business  English 

repeating  his  claims,  express  the  regret  that  he  was  not 
fully  satisfied.  Then  clear  yourself  of  the  charge  in  a 
dignified  way. 

Frequently  it  is  well  to  give  a  little  sales  talk  that  will 
show  the  reader  the  value  of  the  goods  and  tend  to  make 
him  want  to  keep  them.  The  case  below  will  illustrate 
the  right  and  the  wrong  way  of  handling  a  matter 
of  this  kind. 

A  small  furniture  dealer  in  the  northern  part  of  New 
York  State  ordered  an  assortment  of  brass  beds  from  a 
wholesale  house  that  had  been  supplying  him  at  inter- 
vals for  some  time.  He  neglected  to  give  an  adequate 
description  of  the  goods,  on  the  supposition  that  a  pre- 
vious order  would  be  duplicated.  The  goods  sent  him 
were  in  the  dull  or  satin  finish,  whereas  he  had  expected 
the  bright  finish.  He  then  wrote  the  following  letter  to 
the  wholesale  house: 

Potter  &  Co. 

New  York  City. 
Gentlemen  : 

Your  shipment  of  brass  beds  ordered  by  me  on  the 
17th  inst.  arrived  yesterday  and  is  a  great  disappoint- 
ment. They  are  not  what  I  wanted,  having  a  dull  fin- 
ish instead  of  a  bright  one,  and  are  very  unattractive. 
I  shall  not  try  to  sell  them,  for  it  would  not  be  any  use. 
You  will  have  to  take  them  back. 

When  I  sent  the  order  I  did  not  say  anything  about 
having  the  finish  different  from  those  I  have  bought  of 
you  before  and  of  course  I  wanted  the  same.  I  can't 
use  these  beds.  Send  me  the  kind  I  ordered  and  let  me 
know  what  disposition  to  make  of  these. 

Very  respectfully  yours, 

George  Banning 

The  first  letter  given  below  shows  the  wrong  method 
of  dealing  with  him.  It  has  a  patronizing  attitude  and 
would  surely  antagonize.   The  second  is  adapted  to  his 


Claims  and  Adjustments  207 

mood,  and  gives  him  information  that  would  tend  to 
smooth  his  ruffled  feelings  and  increase  his  friendship 
for  the  house. 

Wrong: 

Dear  Sir: 

We  are  surprised  at  your  complaint.  Your  order 
called  for  brass  beds  and  naturally  we  sent  you  the 
kind  that  everybody  is  buying.  We  hardly  ever  have 
an  order  for  bright  finished  brass  beds  any  more. 
They  are  completely  out  of  style. 

If  you  had  been  foolish  enough  to  order  bright  fin- 
ished brass  beds,  of  course  we  should  have  supplied 
them,  but  you  would  have  regretted  it  later.  You 
ought  to  consider  yourself  lucky  that  you  made  the 
mistake.   It  will  mean  money  in  your  pocket. 

You  can  return  the  shipment  if  you  wish  and  ex- 
change them,  but  you  will  have  to  pay  for  the  trans- 
portation. 

Yours  truly, 

Potter  &  Co. 

Better: 

Dear  Sir: 

We  are  sorry  that  we  have  caused  you  disappoint- 
ment in  regard  to  the  shipment  of  brass  beds  we  sent 
you  on  January  18th.  Of  course,  we  shall  be  glad  to 
exchange  them  if  you  desire. 

At  the  same  time,  we  are  not  altogether  sorry  that 
we  sent  the  dull  instead  of  the  bright  finish  because  we 
feel  that  the  mistake  will  turn  out  to  your  profit,  and 
that  you  will  be  glad  you  have  not  stocked  up  with 
bright  finished  beds. 

We  feel  this  way  because  in  New  York  City,  where 
the  trend  of  fashion  is  usually  shown  first,  the  bright 
finish  is  going  out  and  the  dull  finish  coming  into  style. 
In  fact,  this  is  so  much  the  case  that  we  can  hardly  get 
any  more  of  the  bright  finish  style  from  the  manu- 
facturers. 

We  are  inclosing  a  clipping  from  the  National  Com- 


208  Business  English 

mercial  Press,  which  will  surely  interest  you.  By  it  you 
will  see  that  three  satin  finish  beds  are  now  being  sold 
for  every  bright  finish  one. 

We  believe  you  can  make  more  profit  on  the  dull  fin- 
ish beds  (as  you  will  see  by  the  clipping)  and  so  urge 
you  to  keep  them  and  remit  at  your  convenience. 

They  are  not  costing  you  any  more  than  the  bright 
finish  beds  would  elsewhere. 

Yours  very  truly, 

Potter  &  Co. 
Inviting  Claims 

The  value  of  handling  all  claims  not  only  justly  and 
tactfully  but  also  with  generosity,  may  be  seen  from  the 
fact  that  many  successful  business  houses,  especially 
mail-order  houses,  actually  invite  claims.  When  a  good 
customer  has  failed  to  order  for  a  considerable  length  of 
time  a  letter  is  sent  him  to  find  out  whether  he  was  dis- 
satisfied, and  if  so,  how  his  grievance  can  be  righted. 

The  following  is  an  excellent  example  of  this  type  of 
letter: 

Dear  Sir: 

Looking  over  our  records  a  few  days  ago,  I  noticed 
that  you  haven't  been  so  good  a  customer  of  ours  in 
the  past  twelve  months  as  you  used  to  be,  and  the 
more  I  looked  at  that  record  the  more  I  wondered 
what  we  had  done  that  caused  you  to  practically  stop 
trading  with  us. 

Finally  I  decided  to  drop  you  a  line  and  ask  you 
whether  you  are  willing  to  tell  me,  personally,  frankly, 
just  what  the  trouble  has  been,  and  whether  there  is 
anything  we  haven't  done  that  we  should  have  done, 
and  whether  there  is  anything  we  can  do  NOW  to  get 
you  back  on  our  list  of  regular  customers ;  if  we  can  we 
surely  want  to  do  it. 

Of  course,  accidents  will  happen  at  times,  and  if  one 
has  happened  in  this  case,  I  hope  you  will  tell  me  about 
it.  I  think  I  can  fix  it  up  the  very  day  I  get  your  letter. 

Won't  you  write  me  personally  on  the  back  of  this 


Claims  and  Adjustments  209 

letter  and  tell  me  just  how  you  feel  about  trading  with 
us?  Please  use  the  inclosed  (stamped)  envelope,  as  I 
want  your  reply  to  come  to  my  desk  unopened. 

Why  not  send  in  an  order  with  your  reply?  I'll  see 
that  it  is  filled  JUST  RIGHT. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Enoch  Stone 
President 
The  best  catalogue  we  have  ever  issued  is  just  now 
coming  off  the  press  and  I  am  sending  you  a  copy  of  it 
to-day.  I  hope  you  will  look  through  it  carefully. 

Exercise 

1  A  month  ago  you  ordered  two  baseball  gloves,  a  tennis  racket 
and  a  half  dozen  tennis  balls  from  A.  G.  Spalding  &  Co.  The 
racket  broke  the  first  time  it  was  used,  and  examination  disclosed 
a  flaw  in  the  wood.   Write  to  them,  asking  for  an  exchange. 

2  Write  an  answer  to  the  above  claim,  assuming  that  the  racket  was 
guaranteed  against  imperfections  in  material  and  workmanship. 

^  Write  an  answer  to  the  same  claim  assuming  that  the  racket  was 
second-grade  material,  not  guaranteed. 

4  Point  out  the  faults  in  mechanical  form,  sentence  structure,  and 
general  construction  of  the  following  letter: 

38  Waverley  Place, 
New  York  City,  Jan'y.  24th,  '16. 
Brown  &  Stone, 

New  York  City. 
Gents: 

What  is  the  matter  with  you  people?  We  have  never 
received  such  treatment  from  any  concern.  The  maga- 
zines arrived  this  morning  instead  of  being  delivered  on 
the  20th  instant  which  was  promised.  The  quality  of 
the  work  was  entirely  inferior  and  I  am  surprised  that 
you  had  the  nerve  to  send  them  to  us.  The  first  copy  I 
picked  up  was  badly  bound,  some  of  the  pages  being 
out  of  order  and  the  cover  had  poor  inking. 

The  delay  was  most  annoying,  we  having  j>romised 
to  our  su])scril)ers  by  the  21st  sure.  We  have  always 
paid  our  bills  ])romptly  and  have  never  had  any  trouble 
of  this  kind  before  and  we  can't  understand  why  you 
have  treated  us  this  way.  If  we  can't  have  better  serv- 


210  Business  English 

ice  than  this  we  shall  go  elsewhere  and  I  know  you  will 
say  that  something  occurred  to  prevent  you  from  doing 
good  work  but  there  is  no  good  reason  to  our  mind  for 
such  a  poor  job  as  you  have  turned  out.  You  know  you 
promised  the  magazines  would  be  delivered  on  time 
and  I  want  to  know  what  you  are  going  to  do  about  it. 
We  don't  intend  to  submit  to  this  kind  of  treatment. 
Very  respectfully  yours, 

Bishop  &  Hudson 

Per  W.  Bishop 

5  Rewrite  the  above  letter  in  clear,  correct,  and  courteous  form. 

6  Answer  the  above  letter. 

7  Adjust  the  following  claim : 

18  South  St., 
Mt.  Vernon,  N.Y., 
February  7,  1916. 
W.  H.  Steam  &  Co., 
25  West  41  Street, 
New  York  City. 
Gentlemen  : 

On  February  2,  1916,  I  mailed  you  an  order  for  a 
parlor  table  which  you  advertised  in  the  New  York 
Times  of  the  same  date. 

On  February  6,  I  received  the  table,  but  found  on 
opening  the  crate  that  there  was  a  large  scratch  on  the 
top  of  the  table. 

Of  course  I  don't  want  the  table  because  it  is 
scratched,  —  and  I  want  to  know  what  you  are  going 
to  do  about  it.  It  seems  very  strange  that  a  house  of 
your  reputation  cannot  see  that  its  goods  are  shipped 
in  good  condition. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Mrs.  John  S.  Morgan 

8  Peter  Dowling,  a  grocer  of  Roanoke,  Va.,  writes  that  a  recent 
shipment  of  canned  peaches  and  pears  does  not  satisfy  him,  as  the 
labels  are  unattractive.  He  does  not  think  they  will  sell  with  his 
trade.  You  find  that  the  goods  are  of  better  quality  than  those 
you  have  sold  Mr.  Dowling  before,  and  that  the  brand  is  very 
popular  in  other  cities.   Write  to  Mr.  Dowling. 

9  On  March  15th,  you  sold  Jacob  Stein,  Zeeville,  Iowa,  a  bill  of 
goods  amounting  to  $45.00.  The  terms  allowed  him  were 3  %  for 
cash  within  10  days,  30  days  net.  It  is  now  April  20.  You  receive 
his  remittance  for  $43.65.  Mr.  Stein  is  not  entitled  to  the  dis- 
count.   Tell  him  that  you  cannot  allow  this  adjustment. 


CHAPTER  V 

COLLECTION   LETTERS 

General  Methods  of  Collecting  Money  by  Mail 

The  general  principles  of  business  English  are  clearly 
illustrated  in  the  cc  istruction  of  collection  letters. 
Their  purpose  is  the  direct  profit  of  the  writer.  This  pro- 
fit cannot  be  obtained  unless  the  message  impresses  the 
reader;  unless  it  is  adapted  to  him.  Debtors  who  fail  to 
pay  their  bills  promptly  are  of  many  classes.  Some  are 
simply  dilatory;  others  are  unfortunate;  a  few  are  dis- 
honest. The  methods  that  induce  one  to  pay  will  have 
no  effect  on  another.  It  is  necessary,  therefore,  to  study 
at  least  a  few  typical  classes,  and  find  out  what  appeals 
are  most  likely  to  produce  the  desired  result. 

In  the  great  majority  of  cases  the  writer  of  collection 
letters  has  two  important  purposes :  first,  to  collect  the 
money  due;  second,  to  keep  the  friendship  of  the  debtor. 
If  our  collection  letters  bring  in  the  immediate  cash,  but 
destroy  all  chance  of  future  trade,  they  are  not  ideal.  We 
must  therefore  always  write  with  two  objects  in  view: 

1  To  collect  the  money  as  quickly  as  possible. 

2  To  avoid  giving  offense. 

These  two  objects  usually  go  together.  A  courteous, 
tactful  request  brings  in  more  cash  than  a  brutal  or  in- 
sulting demand.  Even  when  the  debtor's  friendship  is 
not  valuable,  it  is  unwise  to  arouse  his  antagonism. 
The  letter  should  consider  his  point  of  view.  It  should 
subordinate  /  and  emphasize  you, 

211 


212  Business  English 

How  the  Kind  of  Business  Affects  the  Problem 

The  importance  of  the  two  objects  is  relative.  It 
varies  with  the  nature  of  the  business,  with  the  money 
value  of  the  customer's  trade,  with  the  character  of  the 
customer,  and  with  the  length  of  time  the  account  has 
been  standing.  Consequently  the  severity  of  the  collec- 
tion letters  varies  according  to  these  factors. 

The  manufacturer  can  be  more  severe  than  the  job- 
ber, and  the  jobber  can  be  more  severe  than  the  retailer. 
The  manufacturer  deals  with  debtors  who  have  debtors 
of  their  own.  They  are  familiar  with  business  conditions 
and  requirements.  More  important,  they  have  business 
reputations  to  maintain.  He  is,  therefore,  able  to  en- 
force strict  obedience  to  his  credit  regulations.  Fre- 
quently his  position  is  such  that  he  need  use  no  letters. 
If  he  does  use  them,  they  are  simply  to  collect  the 
money.    Friendship  hardly  enters  into  the  question. 

But  the  retailers  with  whom  the  jobbers  deal  are  bound 
to  them  by  closer  personal  relations.  Often  these  re- 
tailers are  small  concerns,  unbusinesslike  in  methods  and 
of  insecure  credit.  With  such  debtors,  friendship  is  a 
more  important  factor.  It  is  not  always  possible,  there- 
fore, to  send  a  draft  as  soon  as  an  account  passes  the 
due  date.  Nor  can  the  letters  simply  exact  immediate 
payment. 

The  customers  of  the  retailers  are  even  less  likely  to  be 
thoroughly  familiar  with  business  methods  and  accus- 
tomed to  promptness  in  meeting  their  obligations. 
Many  of  them  are  women,  sensitive  to  real  or  fancied 
insults,  and  yet  inclined  to  take  advantage  of  credit 
leniency.  Too  great  urgency  in  forcing  payment  is 
likely  to  offend  them  and  result  in  the  loss  of  their 
trade. 

In  general,  caution  is  necessary  where  the  customers 


Collection  Letters  213 

are  not  all  business  men,  where  the  personal  relationship 
is  close,  or  where  frequent  orders  are  expected. 

How  the  Credit  of  the  Customer  Affects  the  Problem 

The  policy  of  the  retailer  (and  indeed  of  all  business 
houses)  depends  to  some  extent  on  the  money  value  of 
the  customers.   These  are  generally  of  three  classes: 

1  Those  who  are  barely  entitled  to  credit. 

2  Those  who  come  within  the  great  middle  class. 

3  Those  who  are  wealthy  and  whose  credit  is  con- 
sidered ''gilt-edge." 

The  first  class  receives  the  least  consideration;  the 
third  class  may  go  to  almost  any  limit  in  delaying  pay- 
ment before  being  brought  up  with  a  sharp  turn. 

How  the  Character  of  the  Customer  Affects  the  Problem 

Then  the  character  of  the  customer,  as  shown  by  his 
previous  history,  or  by  his  action  in  the  case,  has  some- 
thing to  do  with  his  treatment.  Here  again  we  have 
three  main  types : 

1  Those  who  are  slow  but  usually  good  payers. 

2  Those  who  intend  to  pay,  but  are  delayed  by  mis- 
fortune. 

3  Those  who  willfully  evade  payment. 

These  same  types  are  found  among  the  debtors  of 
nearly  all  concerns,  whether  wholesale  or  retail.  The 
first  are  reminded  of  their  obligations,  but  are  not 
handled  severely;  the  second  are  given  help  by  making 
more  convenient  terms  of  payment;  the  third  are  threat- 
ened with  the  terrors  of  the  law. 

The  treatment  depends  also  on  the  credit  policy  of  the 
firm  and  the  length  of  time  the  account  has  been  due. 
Some  firms  are  very  rigid  and  do  not  permit  debtors  to 
delay  payment.    Others  wait  a  long  time  before  using 


214  Business  English 

drastic  measures,  or  before  going  outside  their  own  or- 
ganization for  help  in  collecting. 

Classification  of  Collection  Letters 

In  all  classes  of  collection  by  mail,  however,  whatever 
the  nature  of  the  business,  and  whatever  the  character 
of  the  debtor,  there  are  ordinarily  three  types  of 
letters  used: 

1  Formal  notifications  that  remind  the  debtor  of  his 
obligations,  but  do  so  in  a  purely  impersonal  and 
mechanical  style. 

2  Personal  appeals  that  are  directed  to  the  individual 
and  give  him  some  reason  why  he  should  pay. 

3  Threats  of  a  change  of  method  of  collection. 

The  number  of  each  that  is  used  depends  on  the  many 
factors  given  above;  so  likewise  does  the  construction  of 
the  individual  letter. 

System  in  Collecting 

Before  taking  up  these  types  of  letters  we  should  con- 
sider the  system  to  be  used.  The  system  is  equally  as 
important  in  securing  good  results  as  the  composition 
of  the  letters  themselves.  The  personal  collector  finds 
that  he  can  collect  money  more  easily  when  his  visits 
are  regular  and  well-timed;  so  likewise  letters  produce 
best  results  when  they  are  sent  with  the  precision  of  a 
machine.  Even  though  the  tone  is  not  vigorous,  these 
"duns,"  coming  as  regularly  as  pay  day,  remind  the 
debtor  of  his  duty,  and  sooner  or  later  he  either  pays  or 
promises  to  do  so.  And  if  he  promises  to  pay  on  a  certain 
date,  a  letter  should  arrive  about  that  date  to  hold  him 
to  the  promise. 

If  a  debtor  is  left  undisturbed  by  collection  notices  for 
any  great  length  of  time,  either  because  they  are  not 


Collection  Letters  215 

sent,  or  because  a  change  of  address  prevents  him  from 
receiving  them,  the  work  of  collecting  from  him  is  made 
doubly  hard.  Even  though  he  does  receive  the  whole 
series  of  letters  ultimately,  they  do  not  have  the  same 
effect  when  he  receives  them  in  a  bunch  that  they  would 
have  had  if  delivered  to  him  at  regular  intervals. 

The  letters  themselves  should  be  arranged  in  a  care- 
fully graduated  series,  beginning  with  the  formal  notifi- 
cations and  ending  with  the  threats.  The  tone  should 
become  harsher  and  the  arguments  stronger  as  the  series 
proceeds,  so  that  the  effect  will  be  climactic.  The  num- 
ber of  letters  will  be  determined  by  the  nature  of  the 
business  and  the  character  of  the  debtor,  as  already 
stated. 

Exercises  for  Oral  Practice 

1  If  you  had  charge  of  the  collections  of  a  stationery  concern  that 
printed  calendars  for  small  retailers  scattered  about  the  country, 
what  would  be  your  policy.^ 

2  If  you  were  a  doctor,  how  would  you  collect  your  bills? 

3  If  you  were  selling  a  correspondence  course  on  the  installment 
plan,  what  would  be  the  nature  of  your  collection  system.'^ 

4  If  you  were  in  charge  of  the  collections  of  a  department  store,  how 
would  your  treatment  differ  in  the  following  cases: 

John  Johns  —  customer  for  twelve  years  —  buj^s  an  average  of 
$50  a  month  —  fairly  regular  in  payment  —  now  in  arrears  for 
one  month  —  amount  $112. 

William  Hine  —  customer  for  one  year  —  buys  an  average  of  $10 
a  month  —  fairly  regular  in  payment  —  now  in  arrears  for  one 
month  —  amount  $82. 

Thomas  Andrews  —  customer  for  four  years  —  purchases  very 
irregularly,  but  always  in  large  amounts  —  average  $100  a  month 
—  payments  also  irregular,  sometimes  prompt,  sometimes  dila- 
tory —  now  in  arrears  for  two  months  —  amount  $371. 

Formal  Notifications 

Wherever  it  is  important  to  keep  the  goodwill  of  the 
debtor,  formal  notifications  are  extensively  used.   They 


216  Business  English 

are  suitable  in  nearly  all  kinds  of  business,  and  some 
business  men  depend  upon  them  entirely.  If  used,  they 
always  precede  personal  appeals  or  threats.  The  reason 
for  this  is  that  a  personal  request  for  money  is  likely 
to  give  offense.  No  honest  man  enjoys  being  dunned. 
He  resents  even  the  suggestion  that  he  is  slow  in  paying 
and  he  feels  that  he  is  being  singled  out  for  attack. 

The  formal  notification  is  simply  a  piece  of  machin- 
ery. It  is  strictly  impersonal.  It  is  as  much  a  matter  of 
routine  as  the  monthly  statement.  It  is  one  of  the  few 
business  English  messages  that  should  not  have  "char- 
acter" or  personality.  Indeed,  it  is  frequently  only  a 
rubber  stamped  reminder  at  the  bottom  of  the  monthly 
statement,  reading  ''Past  due;  please  remiU''  or  the  like. 
It  should  not  be  pen-written  or  personally  typewritten. 
The  moment  this  is  done,  the  message  becomes  personal ; 
and  personal  appeals,  to  be  either  inoffensive  or  effec- 
tive, require  different  treatment. 

More  dignified  than  the  rubber-stamped  reminder  is 
the  printed  note  with  blanks  for  the  amount  and.  date. 
Its  form  indicates  that  it  is  sent  to  many  other  people, 
and  that  it  is  merely  a  part  of  the  regular  machinery  of 
the  concern;  hence,  it  can  hardly  offend.  The  following 
formal  notifications  are  typical : 

Pardon  us  for  calling  your  attention  to  your  ac- 
count of for  the  month  of 

which  has  doubtless  escaped  your  attention.  We  shaR 
appreciate  a  remittance. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Gentlemen  : 

Inclosed  is  a  statement  of  your  account.  This  was 
due  on  the  first  of  this  month,  but  has  evidently 
escaped  your  attention. 

We  shall  appreciate  a  prompt  remittance. 
Yours  very  truly. 


Collection  Letters  217 

Several  such  notifications  may  be  sent  at  regular 
intervals,  before  any  personal  methods  are  used.  They 
grow  more  insistent  and  severe,  however,  if  the  first  ones 
do  not  produce  any  response.  For  instance  the  phrase 
"escaped  your  attention"  becomes  "has  been  over- 
looked"; "we  shall  appreciate  a  remittance"  becomes 
'*  we  must  request  an  immediate  settlement,"  and  so  on. 
The  number  of  formal  notifications  depends  on  the 
nature  of  the  business  and  the  class  of  the  customer. 
Three  is  a  fair  average. 

If  formal  notifications  fail  to  produce  results,  the  re- 
tail store  sometimes  calls  into  service  the  personal  col- 
lector rather  than  the  correspondent.  This  is  made  pos- 
sible by  the  fact  that  the  store's  customers  live  within  a 
comparatively  short  distance,  and  the  personal  collector 
can  handle  the  situation  with  less  possibility  of  giving 
offense.  Sometimes  the  store  uses  some  ruse  to  lead  the 
debtor  to  make  adjustment  voluntarily. 

When  the  debtor  lives  at  a  distance,  it  may  be  neces- 
sary to  depend  on  personal  letters,  if  the  formal  notifi- 
cations fail.  Even  though  they  do  fail  they  have  not 
been  wasted,  for  they  at  least  pave  the  way  for  the  per- 
sonal appeal,  which  without  them  would  be  likely  to 
antagonize  the  debtor,  and  would  certainly  lack  the 
force  that  comes  from  the  repeated  impression. 

Exercises 

1  You  are  a  member  of  the  wholesale  drygoods  firm  of  Dunning  & 
Walsh  of  981  Duane  Street,  New  York  City.  Write  a  collection 
form  to  be  used  as  a  first  notification  to  creditors  whose  accounts 
are  one  month  past  due. 

2  You  are  in  the  credit  department  of  John  Wanamaker's  depart- 
ment store  in  New  York  City.  Write  a  collection  form  to  be  used 
as  a  first  notification  to  customers  with  charge  accounts  who  have 
sent  no  remittance  within  one  month  from  the  time  their  state- 
ments were  sent  to  them.  This  form  should  be  a  gentle  reminder. 


218  Business  English 

3  Write  a  collection  form  to  be  used  one  month  later  than  the  form 
in  exercise  No.  2. 

4  Write  a. collection  form  to  be  used  by  a  house  selling  furniture  on 
the  installment  plan.  It  is  to  go  to  customers  who  are  one  month 
in  arrears  on  their  installments. 

5  Write  a  form  to  be  used  two  weeks  later. 
Personal  Appeals 

The  personal  appeal,  like  most  other  business  mes- 
sages, is  adapted  to  the  reader  in  language  and  tone,  and 
attempts  to  bring  about  a  closer  relationship  with  him. 
The  personal  pronoun  you  is  emphasized.  An  appeal  is 
made  to  the  common  instincts  of  human  nature. 

The  most  important  of  these  instincts,  from  the  collec- 
tor's point  of  view,  are  sympathy,  justice,  self-interest, 
and  fear.  Fear  is  the  strongest  instinct,  but  is  ordinarily 
reserved  for  threats  after  other  appeals  have  failed. 
This  is  because  an  appeal  to  fear  makes  it  difficult,  if 
not  impossible,  to  keep  the  friendship  of  the  debtor. 

Appeal  to  Sympathy 

The  appeal  to  sympathy  is  the  most  frequently  used. 
We  tell  the  reader  that  we  should  be  willing  to  wait 
longer  for  our  money  were  it  not  for  the  fact  that  we 
have  heavy  bills  to  meet,  notes  coming  due,  or  other 
obligations  which  require  immediate  collection  of  out- 
standing accounts. 

There  is  a  danger  here  that  this  appeal  may  proclaim 
our  weakness  (either  true  or  false)  and  put  the  burden 
of  the  request  upon  ourselves  instead  of  upon  the  reader, 
where  it  belongs.  In  addition  this  appeal  gives  him  an 
opportunity  to  tell  a  ''  hard  luck"  story  in  reply,  and  say 
that  his  failure  to  pay  is  also  due  to  financial  embarrass- 
ments and  that  he  will  pay  as  soon  as  he  is  able  to  collect 
what  is  due  him. 


Collection  Letters  219 

The  appeal  to  sympathy,  however,  if  rightly  used,  can 
be  made  effective,  and  it  will  not  offend  any  one.  The 
begging  tone  should  be  carefully  avoided,  however,  not 
only  because  it  is  with  the  majority  of  the  people  a  poor 
argument,  but  because  it  is  not  likely  to  be  helpful  to 
the  further  interest  of  the  concern.  A  continual  use  of  it 
is  simply  like  the  shepherd  boy's  cry  *'The  Wolf,  the 
Wolf!"  After  a  certain  length  of  time  it  ceases  to  have 
any  effect,  and  when  there  is  a  real  occasion  for  its  use, 
it  is  unheeded. 

The  appeal  to  sympathy  is  properly  made  when  the 
writer  calls  attention  to  the  fact  that  a  large  number  of 
small  accounts  run  into  big  figures  and  that  the  presence 
of  them  is  embarrassing. 

The  appeal  to  sympathy  is  also  properly  used  by 
dealers  in  small  towns  where  the  personal  relationship 
between  creditor  and  debtor  is  very  close.  Even  in 
larger  cities  certain  classes  of  trades -people,  such  as 
tailors  and  laundries,  find  it  most  serviceable,  because 
they  do  not  fear  the  loss  of  dignity  and  do  fear  the  loss 
of  customers. 

The  following  example  will  illustrate: 

Dear  Sir: 

We  are  writing  once  more  to  call  your  ai^tention  to 
your  July  account,  amounting  to  $11.20,  statement  of 
which  is  inclosed. 

We  understand  of  course  that  small  accounts  of  this 
kind  are  easily  overlooked.  And  while  the  amount  is 
small  to  us,  also,  you  will  readily  understand  that  a 
number  of  such  accounts  total  a  large  sum,  which  if 
allowed  to  remain  unpaid,  might  easily  become  embar- 
rassing to  us. 

At  this  time,  moreover,  we  have  some  large  bills  to 
meet  and  would  especially  appreciate  your  remittance. 

Will  you  not  give  this  matter  your  attention  to-day. 
Very  truly  yours, 


220  Business  English 

Appeal  to  Sense  of  Justice 

More  to  be  recommended  is  the  appeal  to  the  sense  of 
justice.  We  call  attention  to  the  uniformly  courteous 
treatment,  the  quality  of  the  goods,  and  the  excellent 
service  we  have  given,  in  return  for  which  we  may  justly 
expect  prompt  payment.  We  point  out  that  this  con- 
fidence in  prompt  payment  is  the  foundation  of  the 
credit  system,  and  that  further  delay  on  the  debtor's 
part  will  impair  that  confidence. 

We  must  always  be  careful  to  avoid  any  implication 
that  the  debtor  does  not  intend  to  pay.  We  take  it  for 
granted  that  he  expects  to  pay  sometime,  and  merely  ask 
that  he  make  that  sometime  now.  If  we  do  this  and  if 
our  tone  is  courteous  and  frank,  there  should  be  no  like- 
lihood of  arousing  antagonism. 

Sometimes,  in  letters  of  this  kind,  we  may  call  atten- 
tion to  our  present  bargains.  We  may  mention  some 
exceptional  values  we  are  offering  and  invite  the  reader 
to  include  an  order  with  his  remittance.  This  serves  to 
show  that  the  reader's  interest  is  kept  uppermost  in  our 
mind,  and  guards  against  his  feeling  that  he  is  being 
personally  dunned. 

The  following  is  a  good  example  of  the  appeal  to  the 
sense  of  justic^e: 

Dear  Sir: 

For  some  reason  we  have  not  received  yoiir  cheek  for 
your  account  of .  now  two  months  overdue. 

Surely  the  goods  were  perfectly  satisfactory,  or  we 

*  should  have  heard  from  you  before  this  time.    You 

know  our  invariable  policy:  "If  anything  is  not  right, 

we  make  it  right."   And  that  policy  really  means  that 

our  goods  are  right  in  the  first  place. 

We  are  confident  that  you  have  found  this  to  be  true 
and  that  your  delay  is  due  merely  to  an  oversight. 
But  in  justice  to  us  and  to  your  reputation  as  a  good 


Collection  Letters  2^1 

business  man,  don't  you  tliink  you  should  take  pains  to 
see  that  the  delay  does  not  continue  any  longer? 

Don't  bother  to  write  us  a  letter  —  we  understand 
just  how  such  oversights  occur.    Simply  put  your 
check  in  the  inclosed  envelope  and  mail  it  to-day. 
Very  truly  yours, 

Appeal  to  Self-interest 

Closely  similar  to  the  appeal  to  justice  is  the  appeal  to 
self-interest.  We  point  out  to  the  reader  that  it  is  only 
by  promptness  in  collections  that  we  are  able  to  main- 
tain the  low  prices  by  which  he  profits.  We  show  him 
that  he  gains  by  our  firmness  in  enforcing  the  terms  of 
credit.  If  we  allowed  debtors  to  delay  payments,  we 
should  be  tying  up  in  our  business  capital  that  should  be 
invested  in  merchandise  for  the  benefit  of  all  our 
customers. 

We  may  even  suggest  to  the  reader  that  we  have  kept 
from  troubling  him  about  the  account  because  we  were 
certain  that  there  was  a  good  reason  for  the  delay.  We 
show  him  that  we  have  extended  consideration  to  him 
beyond  that  which  we  extend  to  the  average  debtor.  In 
all  these  ways  we  show  him  that  it  is  to  his  interest  to 
secure  a  continuance  of  this  favorable  treatment  by 
making  a  proper  response  to  our  request  for  payment. 

The  following  example  will  illustrate  the  effective  use 
of  such  an  appeal  to  self-interest: 

Gentlemen  : 

Why  do  good  collections  win  business? 

Because  a  man  who  keeps  an  account  paid  up  feels  a 
certain  satisfaction  in  dealing  with  that  concern.  He 
feels  that  he  is  a  privileged  person,  always  welcome.  If 
he  lets  the  account  lag,  there  is  an  irresistible  tempta- 
tion to  go  elsewhere  for  his  supplies  until  the  bill  is 
paid. 

It's  not  only  because  we  need  the  monev  that  we  ask 


222  Business  English 

you  to  send  us  a  check  to-da}^  It  is  because  we  want 
all  your  business,  and  we  want  to  quiet  the  little  voice 
of  conscience  which  might  suggest  that  you  place  some 
of  it  elsewhere. 

You  want  to  feel  the  privileged  customer  you  really 
are;  and  the  reward  of  low  prices,  the  prompt  ship- 
ments, and  the  superior  value  you  have  been  getting 
from  us  with  prompt  payments. 

That 's  why  you  are  going  to  take  the  inclosed  brown 
envelope  to  your  bookkeeper  now,  and  say : 

"Send  a  check  to  Hogan." 

Yours  very  truly, 

Hogan  &  Son 

Use  of  Premiums 

A  more  direct  appeal  to  self-interest  is  sometimes 
made  by  the  offer  of  some  consideration  to  the  debtor 
for  a  settlement  of  the  account.  This  consideration 
should  not  be  in  the  form  of  a  discount.  This  merely 
tempts  the  debtor  to  wait  longer,  in  the  hope  of  a  larger 
discount,  and  is  unfair  to  the  honest  debtors  who  pay 
promptly. 

A  premium  is  not  so  objectionable.  It  is  most  useful 
in  collecting  small  and  scattered  accounts  that  are  to  be 
paid  by  the  installment  method.  The  best  time  for  it  is 
in  the  early  payments,  before  the  debtor  has  had  a 
chance  to  become  delinquent.  There  is  then  no  loss  of 
dignity  in  offering  a  bookrack  or  other  premium  for  a 
cash  settlement  of  the  entire  amount.  A  discount  for 
cash  settlement  of  installments  that  are  not  yet  due  is 
perfectly  legitimate,  of  course,  provided  it  is  equal  for 
all  customers. 

If  it  is  used  to  secure  payment  from  a  debtor  who  has 
been  long  in  arrears,  good  reason  must  be  shown.  This 
may  be  a  statement  that  a  limited  number  of  a  certain 
book  or  other  article  has  been  secured  by  some  unusual 


Collection  Letters  223 

good  fortune,  and  that  there  are  not  enough  to  sell  by 
the  usual  methods.  They  are  therefore  offered  at  a  low 
price  to  those  customers  who  pay  up  their  balances  at 
the  same  time.  The  desire  for  the  bargain  induces  many 
delinquents  to  remit. 

The  following  letter  will  illustrate  the  use  of  this 
method  to  customers  who  have  bought  an  encyclopedia 
on  the  installment  plan  and  have  fallen  in  arrears  before 
half  the  payments  are  made: 

Dear  Sir: 

When  you  ordered  from  us  the  new  Globe  Encj'clo- 
pedia  in  thirty  volumes,  the  latest  and  most  authorita- 
tive published,  you  signed  a  contract  to  pay  for  it  in 
installments  of  two  dollars  on  the  first  of  each  month. 
This  contract  you  have  failed  to  fulfill,  and  for  some 
reason  you  have  not  responded  to  our  repeated  notices 
and  letters  regarding  the  matter.  You  have  not  even 
given  us  the  courtesy  of  a  reply. 

Now  we  hesitate  to  believe  that  this  was  due  to  willful 
neglect  on  your  part.  We  understand  how  it  is  that 
regularity  in  small  payments  sometimes  becomes  irk- 
some and  is  easily  postponed  from  day  to  day.  But 
you  must  admit  it  is  only  fair  to  us  that  the  contract 
be  kept  to  the  letter.  And  we  are  prepared  to  take 
whatever  action  is  necessary  to  secure  that  result. 

Before  adopting  legal  measures,  however,  we  are 
willing  to  give  you  one  more  opportunity  to  make  a 
friendly  settlement  of  this  matter.  W^e  shall  even  make 
it  to  your  advantage  to  close  up  the  entire  account, 
and  relieve  yourself  of  the  necessity  of  making  regular 
monthly  payments. 

A  fortunate  purchase  has  placed  in  our  hands  a  small 
number  of  the  Peerless  Atlas,  which  must  be  known  to 
you,  by  reputation  at  least,  as  the  most  complete  atlas 
ever  published.  It  is  fully  described  on  the  inclosed 
circular.  If  you  will  remit  to  us  at  once  the  balance  of 

your  account  amounting  to ,  and  forty  cents 

extra,  we  shall  send  you  at  once,  postpaid,  a  copy  of 


2£4  Business  English 

this  great  work  of  reference  which  will  be  invaluable  to 
you  in  using  the  encyclopedia. 

Remember  we  have  only  a  small  number  of  these  at- 
lases which  are  regularly  sold  at  five  dollars  a  copy.  If 
you  want  to  take  advantage  of  our  offer,  you  must  act 
immediately.  Simply  use  the  inclosed  envelope  in 
mailing  the  remittance  and  the  book  will  be  forwarded 
to  you  at  once.  Take  advantage  of  this  offer  now. 
'  Very  truly  yours, 
Appeal  to  Sense  of  Humor 

In  addition  to  the  appeals  to  sympathy,  justice,  and 
self-interest,  there  are  a  few  others  that  may  sometimes 
be  used.  One  of  these  is  the  appeal  to  the  sense  of 
humor.  Some  men  are  helpless  to  resist  the  humorous 
collector.  If  they  can  be  made  to  smile,  they  will  sign 
the  checks. 

Concerns  that  sell  certain  articles  by  mail,  find  this 
form  of  appeal  very  effective.  Even  large  wholesalers 
and  jobbers  frequently  use  it  to  advantage.  It  is  diffi- 
cult to  handle,  however,  because  few  writers  have  the 
gift  of  humorous  expression,  and  an  attempt  to  be  funny 
is  painful  when  it  does  not  succeed. 

The  following  example  shows  the  use  of  this  kind  of 
appeal  to  dealers  in  sporting  goods: 

Dear  Sir: 

Well!  Well!  Well!  It  has  been  a  busy  fall  season, 
hasn't  it?  We  have  had  hardly  time  to  wipe  the 
sweat  from  our  brows,  and  your  customers  must  have 
kept  you  on  the  jump,  too,  judging  from  the  fact  that 
you  haven't  had  time  to  attend  to  our  little  account. 

Lots  of  time  yet,  of  course,  but  the  game  has  been 
pretty  one-sided  so  far.  We've  scored  against  you  sev- 
eral times  with  our  little  notices.  Why  not  make  a 
little  run  around  the  account  end  with  a  check  and 
even  thirigs  up?  We  don't  want  to  have  to  make 
another  "touch"  down. 

Cordially  yours, 


Collection  Letters  225 

Many  of  the  personal  appeals  illustrated  above  are 
really  form  letters,  sent  to  a  number  of  different  people 
who  come  in  the  same  class  of  debtors.  However,  they 
are  always  personal  in  their  tone  and  appearance.  If 
the  nature  of  the  business  permits,  it  is  usually  most 
effective  to  write  individual  letters  that  are  adjusted 
to  the  particular  character  and  condition  of  the  delin- 
quent debtor. 

Exercises 

1  You  are  secretary  of  a  students'  society  with  dues  of  $2  a  year, 
payable  annually  in  advance.  The  funds  of  the  society  are  low, 
and  there  are  some  heavy  expenses  to  meet  in  the  near  future. 
Write  to  members  who  are  in  arrears,  urging  them  to  pay  their 
dues. 

2  You  are  in  charge  of  the  collections  of  a  firm  selling  automobile 
tires  to  dealers.  You  sold  a  bill  of  $416  to  Samuel  Ellis,  Syracuse, 
N  .Y.  on  March  17,  terms  30  days.  It  is  now  June  1,  and  he  has  not 
responded  to  your  statements  and  formal  notifications.  His 
credit  is  good.   Write  a  personal  letter  to  him. 

3  Assume  that  Mr.  Ellis  has  been  favored  by  a  remarkably  prompt 
delivery  of  the  goods  at  his  urgent  request,  and  that  he  is  the  ex- 
clusive agent  in  his  town.  Write  a  letter  making  use  of  the  facts. 

4  You  are  employed  in  the  Credit  Department  of  Black  Brothers,  a 
gentlemen's  clothing  store,  981  Broadway,  New  York  City. 
One  of  your  customers,  George  M.  Andrews,  of  20  West  84th 
Street,  New  York  City,  bought  from  your  firm  on  August  3,  1916, 
two  suits  of  clothes,  amounting  to  $90.  The  terms  were  30  days 
net. 

Mr.  Andrews  has  not  responded  to  the  statements  sent  to  him  on 
September  1,  and  October  1,  or  to  formal  collection  notices  sent 
to  him  on  November  1  and  15.  It  is  now  December  1.  Twice 
before  this  Mr.  Andrews  has  bought  goods  from  you  and  each 
time  has  been  slow  in  paying  for  them,  but  he  has  never  required 
a  personal  letter.  Write  a  personal  letter  now  urging  immediate 
payment.  Remember  that  Mr.  Andrews  is  a  man  of  some  wealth, 
and  that  his  trade  is  valuable.   Do  not  antagonize  him. 

5  You  are  selling  on  the  installment  plan  the  Globe  Encyclopedia 
in  twenty -four  volumes.  The  price  of  the  work  is  forty-eight  dol- 
lars in  cloth  and  seventy-two  dollars  in  leather.  Payments  are 
made  monthly  for  one  year.  Your  method  of  collection  includes 


226  Business  English 

two  formal  notifications  after  payment  is  due,  and  three  letters, 
the  last  of  which  is  followed  by  draft.  The  second  letter  is  not 
sent  until  the  payment  is  thirty  days  overdue,  so  that  it  comes 
just  about  the  time  that  a  new  payment  is  due.  Write  this  sec- 
ond letter.  Make  it  a  strong  man-to-man  appeal  for  the  money. 

Threats 

The  threat  is  a  "declaration  of  war,"  and  should  be 
avoided  as  long  as  there  is  any  chance  of  peaceful  settle- 
ment. When  we  tell  the  debtor  we  intend  to  force  him 
to  pay,  we  remove  the  possibility  of  continuing  friendly 
business  relations  with  him. 

Threats  are  of  several  kinds.  Some  are  vague  and 
indefinite.  This  kind  is  effective  with  people  who  are 
ignorant  of  business  methods,  for  their  imagination  con- 
jures up  all  manner  of  undesirable  things,  from  disgrace 
to  imprisonment.  With  business  men  and  other  well- 
informed  people  these  vague  threats  are  less  effective. 
With  them  it  is  better  to  be  specific;  to  promise  defi- 
nitely a  certain  change  of  collection  methods. 

The  most  important  of  these  other  methods  are  the 
following : 

1  The  draft. 

2  The  personal  collector. 

3  The  collection  agency. 

4  The  lawsuit. 

The  first  of  these  is  comparatively  inoffensive,  and 
may  not  result  in  loss  of  friendship;  the  last  named  is  a 
final  method,  to  be  used  when  getting  the  money  is  the 
sole  object  to  be  considered.  All  of  them,  however, 
appear  to  the  average  person  more  unpleasant  than 
letters,  and  he  would  prefer  to  avoid  them. 

It  is  a  notable  fact  that  fear  of  these  instruments  of 
collection  is  more  effective  than  the  instruments  them- 
selves. A  properly  constructed  letter  threatening  to  use 


Collection  Letters  227 

the  draft  will  frequently  collect  a  larger  percentage  of 
accounts  than  the  draft  itself. 

The  word  threat  is  somewhat  inexact  in  describing 
letters  that  announce  an  intended  change  of  method  of 
collection.  It  implies  brutality  of  manner,  whereas  in 
reality  a  threat  may  be  made  so  gentle  as  to  seem  an  act 
of  friendship.  ^Frequently  this  is  the  most  desirable  kind 
of  threat. 

Before  sending  a  draft,  for  instance,  we  may  inform 
the  debtor  that  according  to  our  usual  rule  of  procedure 
we  should  draw  upon  him  for  the  amount  due.  Then  we 
add  that  as  he  may  not  like  to  have  a  draft  presented,  we 
shall  delay  action  until  he  has  had  time  to  send  his  check, 
if  he  prefers.  This  "  touch  "  of  courtesy  often  makes  him 
respond;  sometimes  he  is  even  grateful  for  the  friendly 
advice. 

The  friendly  threat  may  be  used  before  changing  to 
the  personal  collector,  the  collection  agency,  or  the  law- 
suit, but  with  less  success.  If  it  is  used,  it  should  be  fol- 
lowed by  another  and  severer  threat,  before  the  pro- 
posed change  is  actually  made. 

Some  people  are  reached  best  by  a  long  threat  that 
pictures  in  detail  the  disagreeable  results  of  a  lawsuit  or 
other  collection  methods.  The  average  business  man, 
however,  is  much  more  likely  to  be  impressed  by  a  brief 
but  definite  statement  that  if  his  remittance  is  not  re- 
ceived by  a  certain  date,  the  matter  will  be  placed  in  the 
hands  of  an  attorney  for  collection.  The  letter  will  then 
have  the  appearance  of  absolute  finality. 

It  should  be  absolutely  final.  If  the  debtor  does  not 
pay,  the  threat  should  be  carried  out.  From  an  ethical 
standpoint,  the  creditor  has  no  more  right  to  make  a 
threat  that  he  cannot  fulfill,  or  does  not  intend  to  ful- 
fill, than  his  customer  had  to  contract  a  debt  he  could 


228  Business  English 

not  or  would  not  pay.  From  a  practical  standpoint  it  is 
a  poor  policy  to  make  vain  threats.  The  reputation  of 
the  concern  making  them  will  suffer,  and  the  delinquent 
debtors  will  be  encouraged  in  their  dishonesty. 

It  will  be  noted  that  we  may  use  the  several  kinds  of 
threats  as  well  as  the  three  general  classes  of  collection 
letters  in  collecting  the  same  bill.  First  we  may  send 
out  two  or  three  formal  notifications;  then  an  equal  or 
greater  number  of  personal  appeals;  then  a  friendly 
threat  and  then  a  draft.  If  the  draft  is  not  honored  and 
the  debtor  does  not  reply,  we  may  send  one  or  two  more 
personal  appeals,  and  then  a  severe  threat  of  the  collec- 
tion agency.  The  collection  agency  sends  one  personal 
appeal  and  one  or  two  threats  of  legal  procedure.  If 
these  produce  no  effect,  a  lawyer  is  instructed  to  bring 
suit  against  the  debtor. 

The  following  examples  illustrate  a  few  of  the  more 
important  kinds  of  threats: 

The  gentle  threat  preliminary  to  a  draft 

Dear  Mr.  Blank: 

Your  name  has  just  been  placed  upon  my  desk  as 
one  who  has  failed  to  respond  to  our  usual  notices  and 
letters  and  to  whom,  in  the  regular  procedure  of  our 
business,  a  draft  should  now  be  sent. 

I  feel  sure  there  must  be  some  mistake;  that  you 
have  simply  overlooked  sending  your  check.  Of  course, 
it  may  be  that  you  prefer  to  have  us  draw  on  you  for 
the  amount.  Some  of  our  customers  do. 

The  majority  of  them,  however,  do  not,  as  it  does 
not  improve  their  credit  standing  in  the  community. 
That  is  why  I  am  writing  you,  so  that  if  you  prefer  not 
to  have  a  draft  presented  you  can  head  it  off  by  mail- 
ing us  your  check  for . 

Here  is  an  envelope.  We  shall  abide  by  your  prefer- 
ence in  the  matter. 

Very  truly  yours. 


Collection  Letters  229 

The  long  threat  to  an  ignorant  and  unhusiness-like  person 

Dear  Sir: 

Several  days  ago  we  made  a  strong  appeal  to  you  to 

pay  the  amount  of that  has  been  du^  for  a 

long  time.  Since  then,  we  have  patiently  waited  for 
your  remittance  or  at  least  a  reply  that  would  show 
some  good  reason  for  your  unexplained  delay.  We 
have  received  neither. 

Are  we  to  understand  from  your  continued  silence 
that  you  are  willfully  attempting  to  avoid  the  payment 
of  this  debt.?  If  so,  we  should  certainly  be  justified  in 
concluding  that  you  are  void  of  gratitude,  indifferent 
to  confidence,  and  blind  to  your  losses  and  those  you 
are  causing  others. 

Have  you  forgotten  that  the  law  gives  certain  rights 
to  creditors.?  These  rights  will  be  exercised  to  the  full- 
est extent  by  adopting  such  lawful  methods  to  enforce 
payment  as  will  teach  you  by  experience  that,  aside 
from  a  question  of  honesty,  it  costs  far  more  to  attempt 
to  evade  the  payment  of  a  just  debt,  if  such  is  your 
intention,  than  it  does  to  honestly  pay  it  in  the  first 
place. 

If  the  tone  of  this  letter  seems  harsh  or  if  your  inten- 
tions are  misjudged,  you  certainly  must  realize  that  it 
is  due  solely  to  your  continued  neglect.  You  can  read- 
ily place  yourself  right  by  simply  remitting  the  above 
amount  or  explaining  the  cause  of  your  delay  in  set- 
tling. We  must  insist  that  you  do  one  or  the  other  now. 
Very  truly  yours, 

The  brief  threat  of  suit  to  a  business  man 

Dear  Sir; 

This  is  to  advise  you  that  if  you  do  not  adjust  your 
account  before  December  1,  or  make  satisfactory  ar- 
rangements for  its  settlement,  we  shall  be  compelled  to 
place  the  matter  in  the  hands  of  our  attorney  without 
further  notice.   Your  balance  is . 

We  expect  to  hear  from  you  by  return  mail. 
Very  truly  yours, 


230  Business  English 

By  way  of  summary,  let  us  repeat  a  few  of  the  most 
important  principles  to  be  observed  in  writing  collection 
letters.  As  a  whole,  they  should  be  carefully  adapted  to 
the  nature  of  the  business,  the  character  of  the  debtor, 
and  the  length  of  time  the  account  has  been  due.  They 
are  of  three  types:  formal  notifications,  personal  ap- 
peals, and  threats.  All  are  arranged  in  a  careful  series 
that  is  sent  out  with  absolute  regularity  until  they  draw 
a  response. 

Just  as  the  series  of  letters  is  climactic  in  order,  so 
should  the  individual  letter  have  a  climax.  It  should 
take  the  reader's  point  of  view  in  the  beginning.  It 
should  end  with  a  specific  request  to  remit  or  reply  — 
and  this  request  should  have  a  certain  amount  of  sting. 
The  letter  should  have  absolute  unity,  in  that  one  single 
line  of  argument  or  appeal  is  maintained  throughout. 

Exercises 

1  You  are  manager  of  a  store  selling  talking  machines  on  the  install- 
ment plan.   The  customers  are  mainly  working  men  with  small 

\  incomes.  Joseph  Carlozzi,  45  South  Street,  Yonkers,  N.Y.,  owes 
$12  on  his  instrument,  and  pays  no  attention  to  your  letters. 
Write  a  threat  of  turning  the  matter  over  to  the  collection 
agency. 

2  You  are  in  charge  of  the  collection  of  the  Centrifugal  Co.,  selling 
plumbers'  supplies.  Amos  Stone,  Plumbing  contractor,  41  North 
Street,  Milwaukee,  Wis.,  has  owed  you  $56.31  for  six  months. 
Write  a  threat. 

3  You  are  employed  by  the  Canada  Brass  Company,  Chicago,  111. 
The  Centrifugal  Co.  has  owed  you  $527  for  a  month  after  the  due 
date.  Threaten  to  send  a  draft. 

4  Write  a  letter  to  be  sent  to  persons  who  have  no  credit  rating. 


CHAPTER  VI 
APPLICATIONS    AND   RECOMMENDATIONS 

The  Right  Attitude 

Many  a  man  has  had  the  sad  experience  of  finding 
that  a  job  is  most  difficult  to  obtain  when  most  needed. 
The  reason  for  this  lies  not  alone  in  business  conditions. 
It  lies  in  the  attitude  which  a  man  ordinarily  takes  when 
necessity  presses  severely.  The  feeling  that  he  must 
have  work  obscures  every  other  thought  in  his  mind  and 
he  forgets  that  the  employer  is  not  so  anxious  to  hire  the 
man  who  needs  the  position  as  to  hire  the  man  whom  the 
position  needs.  His  woebegone  expression  and  tale  of 
hard  luck  does  not  make  a  favorable  impression  upon 
the  employer,  and  he  receives  little  encouragement. 

Sympathy,  some  people  tell  us,  should  have  a  larger 
part  in  the  business  world.  Most  practical  men  disagree 
with  this  idea.  They  know  that  the  man  who  is  always 
in  "hard  luck"  and  who  is  willing  to  accept  anything,  is 
usually  incompetent.  There  are  numerous  exceptions, 
but  nine  times  out  of  ten  the  man  is  incompetent,  if  not 
in  actual  ability,  at  least  in  attitude  of  mind.  Employers 
must  look  out  for  their  own  welfare  and  they  cannot  run 
their  business  with  incompetents.  Therefore,  they  stifle 
all  sympathy  and  judge  the  applicant  according  to  his 
ability.   Any  other  method  would  invite  failure. 

Knowing  this,  the  wise  position-hunter  takes  care  to 
conceal  his  own  necessity,  and  instead  tries  to  impress 
the  prospective  employer  with  a  belief  in  his  ability. 

231 


232  Business  English 

He  cannot  do  this,  of  course,  unless  he  himself  has 
confidence  in  his  ability  and  shows  that  confidence  by 
his  appearance  and  manner.  He  must  take  care  of  his 
dress;  he  must  see  that  his  linen  is  clean,  and  that  his 
face  and  hands  are  well-kept;  and  in  other  outward  signs 
he  must  show  evidence  of  prosperity.  Frequently  the 
best  investment  he  can  make  of  his  last  dollar  is  a  hair- 
cut, a  shave,  and  a  clean  collar.  When  he  tells  his  story, 
he  carefully  avoids  emphasizing  the  fact  that  he  really 
needs  the  position,  and  confines  his  story  to  what  he 
has  done  and  can  do. 

Now  we  are  not  primarily  concerned  with  personal 
applications  for  positions;  we  are  concerned  with  the 
letter.  But  in  the  letter  the  same  principles  hold  good 
that  prove  most  useful  in  personal  interviews.  The 
applicant's  need  of  a  job,  the  family  he  has  to  support, 
the  length  of  time  he  has  been  out  of  work,  or  his  desire 
to  get  experience,  are  things  that  should  rarely  be  men- 
tioned, and  then  only  as  subordinate  points.  First,  last, 
and  all  the  time,  the  letter  should  be  directed  to  the  em- 
ployer. It  should  show  him  that  the  applicant  can  fill 
this  position  and  can  fill  it  to  the  employer's  satisfaction. 
The  appeal  should  be  directed  to  him  and  should  take 
his  point  of  view. 

The  Individual  Appeal 

It  is  not  merely  a  question  of  writing  a  letter  from  the 
employers'  standpoint.  It  should  be  written  from  the 
standpoint  of  this  individual  employer.  It  should  make 
an  individual  appeal,  and  be  adapted  to  the  reader  in 
argument,  language,  and  tone. 

Employers  differ  widely.  The  requirements  of  their 
positions  are  various.  Before  you  apply,  you  should 
analyze  the  situation  and  find  out  what  qualifications 


Applications  and  Recommendations  233 

are  essential.  You  will  find  that  some  positions  are 
ideally  suited  to  your  training,  experience,  and  inclina- 
tions; others  are  slightly  apart  from  them.  But  you 
can  often  make  it  evident  that  you  have  had  enough 
training  and  experience  for  the  situation,  if  you  do  not 
overemphasize  the  other  parts  of  your  training  and 
experience.  If  you  have  been  a  clerk  in  a  small  retail 
store  and  in  a  large  manufacturing  company,  and  are 
applying  for  a  position  as  bookkeeper  in  a  retail  store, 
you  should  consider  which  experience  of  the  two  is 
likely  to  be  the  more  helpful  in  the  new  business,  and 
should  emphasize  this  in  your  letter.  In  the  same  way 
you  should  lay  stress  upon  the  parts  of  your  education 
and  training  that  are  most  important  to  your  prospec- 
tive employer. 

Employers  differ  also  in  character.  Some  are  conser- 
vative men  of  the  old  school.  If  you  apply  for  a  position 
with  one  of  these  you  are  more  likely  to  be  successful  if 
you  lay  stress  upon  the  general  excellence  of  your  rec- 
ord, rather  than  upon  any  one  individual  achievement. 
To  such  a  concern  you  would  write  in  a  careful,  respect- 
ful tone  and  would  pay  special  attention  to  neatness  and 
correctness  in  small  details.  If  foreigners  are  likely  to 
pass  upon  your  application,  you  would  find  it  desirable 
to  use  greater  formality  than  would  otherwise  be  the 
case.  You  might  even  use  such  stereotyf)ed  forms  as 
"Beg  leave  to  apply"  and  ''Beg  to  advise"  and 
"Trusting  to  receive." 

These  forms  would  never  do  if  you  were  applying  to 
young,  progressive  firms  of  American  business  men. 
You  would  probably  adopt  a  more  aggressive  tone. 
Courtesy,  of  course,  you  would  not  sacrifice,  but  you 
would  see  that  you  did  not  fall  into  any  trite,  over- 
worked expressions.   You  would  see  that  your  letter  did 


234  Business  English 

not  begin  with  *' Replying  to  your  advertisement  in  the 
Herald,  I  beg  to  apply,"  or  '*  Having  learned  that  you 

are  in  need  of I  beg  to  apply."    You  would 

certainly  make  the  letter  shorter  and  you  would  try  to 
make  it  distinctive. 

These  are  only  general  suggestions.  The  application 
varies  with  the  individual  employer.  The  important 
thing  is  to  know  your  reader  as  well  as  you  can,  judge 
him,  and  then  adapt  your  message  to  him. 

When  you  are  applying  for  a  position,  then,  learn  as 
much  as  you  can  about  the  nature  of  the  business  and 
the  character  of  its  managers.  Study  yourself  to  see 
wherein  you  may  be  lacking.  Study  even  more  thor- 
oughly the  probable  considerations  that  will  govern  the 
selection  of  applicants.  Make  sure  that  your  letter 
meets,  so  far  as  possible,  these  conditions.  Make  sure 
that  all  your  arguments  are  taken  from  the  reader's 
point  of  view,  and  that  your  tone  and  language  and  gen- 
eral attitude  are  such  as  he  would  be  likely  to  require  in 
the  person  who  takes  the  position. 

Answers  to  Advertisements 

The  most  common  way  of  getting  positions  by  letter 
are: 

1  By  answering  advertisements. 

2  By  applying  for  positions  for  which  you  have  been 
recommended  by  friends. 

3  By  writing  unsolicited  letters  to  firms  who  may 
have  use  for  your  services. 

It  will  be  necessary  to  consider  each  of  these  sepa- 
rately. 

There  are  two  kinds  of  advertisements  which  may  be 
considered.    The  first  is  the  *' blind"  advertisement,  in 


Applications  and  Recommendations  235 

which  the  employer's  name  is  not  mentioned,  and  the 
requirements  for  the  position  are  given  only  in  a  general 
way.  In  applying  for  such  positions  it  is  not  worth 
while  to  write  a  long  letter.  It  is  necessary  only  to  do 
something  to  distinguish  your  letter  from  others,  and  to 
distinguish  it  in  the  right  way. 

Distinctiveness  is  sometimes  obtained  by  enclosing 
the  letter  in  a  long  legal  envelope.  This  secures  early 
attention  if  the  letters  are  delivered  to  the  employer 
unopened.  One  applicant  for  a  position  as  correspon- 
dent inclosed  his  letter  in  a  red  envelope.  The  message 
was  simply  this:  "Just  as  this  letter  stood  out  from  the 
others  on  your  desk,  so  will  my  work  stand  out  from 
that  of  the  average  correspondent."  He  got  the  position. 
The  method  would  not  have  done  in  applying  for 
positions  of  other  kinds,  but  success  proved  its  value 
in  this  case. 

Within  the  envelope  the  letter  gains  distinctiveness  of 
the  right  kind  only  when  it  is  in  accord  with  all  the  re- 
quirements of  good  taste  and  good  use.  You  should  not 
use  hotel  or  club  stationery,  because  of  the  unfortunate 
suggestion  of  sporty  habits.  You  should  not  use  ruled 
paper,  because  it  is  obsolete.  You  should  not  use  social 
stationery,  because  it  is  not  appropriate.  The  best  taste 
is  a  sheet  of  plain  white  paper  of  business  size.  It  should 
be  of  good  quality  but  need  not  be  expensive.  The  mes- 
sage, however  short,  should  be  written  in  such  a  way 
that  the  margins  above  and  below  shall  be  approxi- 
mately equal  (the  lower  margin  should  be  somewhat 
greater  than  the  upper  but  not  twice  as  great).  The 
right-  and  left-hand  margins  should  be  nearly  equal,  with 
the  left-hand  margin  somewhat  the  greater  of  the  two. 

The  message  itself  should  contain  only  the  essentials. 
Frequently  it  is  enough  to  say  something  like  this : 


236  Business  English 

101  West  9th  Street, 
Peru,  111., 

May  1,  1916. 
X.  Y.  Z., 

7o  The  Star, 
Peru,  111. 
Gentlemen  : 

My  qualifications  are  as  follows: 

Age,  twenty-one;  nationality,  American. 

Education,  high  school  and  business  college  gradua- 
ate. 

Experience,  two  years  stenographer  and  bookkeeper 
in  retail  store. 

Salary  wanted  $15. 

If  these  meet  your  requirements,  please  give  me  an 
interview. 

Yours  very  truly, 

John  Jones 

Some  young  men  object  to  answering  blind  adver- 
tisements, either  because  they  fear  their  present  em- 
ployer may  hear  of  their  attempt  to  change,  or  because 
they  believe  they  cannot  get  a  good  position  in  this  way; 
but  frequently  the  results  repay  the  effort,  if  the  letter  is 
properly  constructed.  At  best,  however,  a  letter  of  this 
kind  depends  more  or  less  upon  chance,  as  there  are 
bound  to  be  many  applicants. 

Answers  to  Complete  Advertisements 

Better  opportunities  come  through  the  advertise- 
ments that  are  complete,  and  that  are  sufficiently  indica- 
tive of  the  character  of  the  employer  to  enable  you  to 
adapt  your  message  to  him. 

There  is  sure  to  be  strong  competition  to  be  met  in 
replying  to  complete  advertisements,  and  you  must 
meet  it  almost  entirely  by  letter.  It  is  important,  there- 
fore, that  your  letter  should  be  reasonably  complete  and 


Applications  and  Recommendations  237 

give  every  argument  or  piece  of  evidence  that  is  likely  to 
be  of  value.  You  should  certainly  show  that  you  fulfill 
all  the  requirements  that  are  stated.  You  should,  above 
all,  avoid  the  suggestion  of  boastfulness. 

As  we  have  already  seen,  adjustment  to  the  reader  is 
absolutely  necessary.  This  affects  the  structure  some- 
what. With  some  houses  it  has  become  an  established 
principle  to  judge  applicants  by  their  education,  experi- 
ence, references,  ambition,  and  their  reason  for  ap- 
plying. If  your  letter  is  directed  to  such  a  house  it  may 
be  divided  into  parts  according  to  several  paragraphs. 
The  following  is  a  good  illustration  of  such  a  letter: 

1725  Seventh  Ave., 

New  York,  June  7,  1916. 
Mr.  Amos  Strong,  C.P.A., 

100  William  Street, 
New  York  City. 
Dear  Sir: 

From  the  want  columns  of  the  Star  I  have  just 
learned  that  you  are  in  need  of  a  junior  accountant, 
and  I  wish  to  present  my  application  for  the  position. 
Here  are  my  qualifications. 

Education.]  In  1912  I  was  graduated  from  the  High 
School  of  Commerce  in  New  York  City,  where  I  spe- 
cialized in  bookkeeping.  A  year  later  I  entered  the  New 
York  University  School  of  Commerce,  Accounts  and 
Finance,  and  took  the  regular  C.P.A.  course.  I  expect 
to  finish  the  work  next  June.  So  far,  I  have  passed  all 
my  subjects,  and  have  an  average  of  over  85%  in  the 
accounting  courses. 

Experience.]  Since  July  1912,  I  have  been  contin- 
ually employed  in  bookkeeping  positions.  My  first 
place  was  as  ledger  clerk  with  Wald  and  Weld,  82 
South  Street.  After  a  year  there,  I  was  put  in  sole 
charge  of  the  books  of  the  Financial  Publishing  Com- 
pany, 441  Murray  Place.  This  company  had  a  compar- 
atively small  business,  but  it  included  wholesale  and 


238  Business  English 

retail  selling  as  well  as  publishing,  and  gave  me  a  more 
varied  experience  than  I  could  have  obtained  in  a  much 
longer  time  elsewhere. 

Reason  for  Change.]  Last  month  the  business  of  the 
company  was  sold  out  to  the  publishing  house  of  J.  C. 
Collins  and  Son.  The  chief  accountant  of  this  com- 
pany, Mr.  Francis  Bowles,  expressed  himself  as  thor- 
oughly satisfied  with  the  condition  of  my  books.  He 
has  left  me  in  charge  of  the  final  settling  up  of  the  af- 
fairs of  the  Financial  Publishing  Company.  He  also 
offered  me  a  position  in  his  organization,  but  I  prefer  to 
enter  the  employ  of  a  first-class  accountant. 

Character,]  I  am  American-born,  Christian,  twenty- 
two  years  of  age,  and  live  at  home.  My  former  em- 
ployers, Mr.  John  H.  Weld,  of  Wald  and  Weld,  and 
Mr.  Anthony  Britton,  formerly  of  the  Financial  Pub- 
lishing Company,  now  of  R.  B.  Davis  and  Company, 
218  West  Street,  will  vouch  for  my  industry  and  hon- 
f  esty.  I  shall  be  glad  to  have  you  communicate  with 

either  of  these  gentlemen  or  with  the  authorities  at  the 
New  York  University  School  of  Commerce,  Accounts 
and  Finance. 

I  trust  that  these  qualifications  may  meet  your  re- 
quirements and  that  you  will  give  me  the  pleasure  of  a 
personal  interview. 

Very  truly  yours, 

Arthur  Stanley 

Letters  that  Show  Adjustment 

Character  is  essential  in  a  letter  to  a  progressive 
house  which  values  its  own  judgment,  based  on  the 
qualities  of  the  letter  itself,  more  than  the  judgment  of 
others  as  shown  by  recommendations.  It  does  not  ask 
that  an  applicant  come  with  his  '* character"  in  his 
hand,  in  the  form  that  cooks  and  housemaids  in  Eng- 
land carry  it.  It  expects  to  find  character  in  his  face, 
his  speech,  and  the  way  he  carries  himself.  In  the  case 
of  a  letter,  it  expects  to  find  character  in  his  language 
and  his  attitude. 


Applications  and  Recommendations  239 

In  writing  to  such  a  firm,  then,  you  should  omit  all 
except  the  essential  points  in  which  it  is  most  likely  to 
be  interested.  Usually  a  single  page  letter  contains  all 
that  need  be  said.  Such  other  evidence  in  the  form  of 
clippings,  letters,  and  the  like  in  support  of  your  letter 
may  be  inclosed.  The  letter  itself  should  be  boiled 
down  to  the  essentials. 

It  should  begin  with  some  statement  that  is  of  interest 
to  the  reader.  This  may  be  a  restatement  of  the  reader's 
requirements.  It  may  be  an  interesting  fact  about  the 
writer's  experience.  It  should  never  be  an  unimportant 
remark  such  as  this:  '*I  saw  your  advertisement  in  The 
Blank  Magazine,"  or  ''Having  learned  that  you  have 
a  vacancy.  ..."  Nine  out  of  ten  applicants  begin  with 
phrases  like  this.  They  are  fatal  to  the  hope  of  getting 
attention. 

All  the  facts  in  the  letter  should  be  expressed  in  the 
most  concrete  way  possible.  You  should  not  simply  say, 
"  I  have  had  a  good  education,"  or  even,  ''I  was  gradu- 
ated from  High  School  in  1916."  Much  better  would  be 
something  like  the  following:  "  During  my  course  in  the 
East  Lincoln  High  School  I  paid  special  attention  to  the 
commercial  branches,"  or,  "My  first  knowledge  of 
stenography  was  obtained  in  a  two-year  course  in  Blank 
Business  School." 

The  same  method  applies  to  the  stating  of  experience. 
You  should  always  lay  particular  stress  upon  your 
achievements  that  were  worth  while,  especially  for  the 
purpose  of  the  reader.  If  he  is  a  manufacturer,  he  is 
likely  to  be  interested  in  costkeeping  and  scientific 
management.  Tell  him  what  you  have  done  in  that  field. 
If  you  are  applying  for  a  position  as  bookkeeper,  state 
concretely  just  what  you  have  done  in  this  field  of  work. 
Do  not  make  many  promises.    One  thing  you  have 


240  Business  English 

accomplished  is  worth  a  dozen  things  you  propose 
to  do. 

In  the  same  way  you  should  concentrate  on  a  few  ref- 
erences rather  than  mention  many,  some  of  which  may 
be  of  doubtful  value.  It  is  better  to  inclose  a  copy  of  a 
good  letter  than  to  state  the  names  of  half  a  dozen  peo- 
ple who  will  be  willing  to  vouch  for  you.  Always  send 
copies  of  recommendations;  never  send  originals.  As  a 
rule,  however,  letters  of  recommendation  should  not  be 
sent  when  you  answer  an  advertisement. 

Do  not  fall  into  the  mistake  of  using  the  old  hack- 
neyed phrases,  "  I  am  not  afraid  of  work,"  or  "Give  me 
a  chance  to  prove  my  ability."  If  you  cannot  think  of 
anything  better  to  say,  say  nothing  at  all  about  your 
attitude  toward  your  work.  If  the  kind  of  letter  you 
have  written  does  not  prove  your  ability,  it  is  useless  to 
say  that  you  have  it.  The  best  piece  of  evidence  either 
for  or  against  you  is  the  letter  itself,  and  by  it  you  are 
sure  to  be  judged. 

The  following  example  will  illustrate  the  kind  of 
application  that  proved  successful  with  a  progressive 
firm: 

Gentlemen  : 

The  requirements  called  for  in  the  position  adver- 
tised in  the  Evening  Sun  of  December  14,  I  have. 
^  My  letters  have  individuality,  character;  they  have 

force,  are  original,  and  have  the  power  of  persuasion. 
It  has  taken  time  to  accomplish  this,  but  it  is  done 
now,  and  the  result  is  at  your  service. 

In  1912 1  was  graduated  from  Union  College  where  I 
had  a  thorough  drill  in  English;  hence  I  know  how  to 
write.  Practical  business  experience  has  shaped  my 
knowledge  to  the  point  where  returns  are  sure  from  it. 

As  Sales  Manager  for  the  Blank  Turbine  Co.,  I 
carried  on  my  work  chiefly  by  correspondence.  Both 
agents  and  customers  were  secured  by  mail;  therefore, 


Applications  and  Recommendations  241 

those  with  whom  I  dealt  were  known  only  by  their  let- 
ters. The  work  was  arduous  and  required  sound  judg- 
ment; and  to  secure  results  through  the  sole  medium  of 
correspondence  was  something  of  an  achievement. 

Without  conveying  in  the  least  any  of  the  confiden- 
tial details  of  the  business  referred  to,  I  am  privileged 
to  state  that  through  my  efforts  the  volume  of  sales 
was  substantially  increased;  likewise  profits.  I  refer  to 
Mr.  C.  F.  Blank,  President  of  the  Company. 

I  know  I  am  entirely  within  the  truth  in  stating  that 
my  ability  as  a  correspondent  is  considerably  above  the 
average.   That  statement  is  susceptible  of  proof,  and 
the  above  reference  is  submitted  in  support  thereof. 
Very  truly  yours, 

Of  course,  neither  this  letter  nor  any  other  is  to  be 
taken  as  a  model.  More  than  elsewhere,  it  is  essential 
that  the  writer  of  an  application  find  his  own  method 
of  expression.  It  is  difficult  to  counterfeit  successfully, 
and  if  counterfeiting  is  discovered  it  will  react  unfavor- 
ably on  the  one  who  practised  it. 

Aside  from  this,  no  one  letter  will  serve  with  all  classes 
of  employers.  You  should  keep  in  mind  the  golden  rule 
of  adaptation  to  the  reader. 

Exercises 

1  Write  an  application  in  response  to  one  of  the  following  blind 

advertisements : 

a  Bright  young  man  about  seventeen  years  old,  in  the  office  of  9, 
large  wholesale  paper  house.  Must  come  well  recommended; 
opportunity  for  advancement  to  one  looking  to  his  future  wel- 
fare. Salary  $5.00  weekly  to  commence.  Address  Box  F. 
Register. 

b  Young  man,  high-school  graduate  preferred.  General  office 
assistant  in  dentist's  office.  Knowledge  of  stenography  desired. 
Address  Box  X.   World. 

c  Bookkeeper  and  Office  Manager:  —  With  executive  ability,  to 
take  charge  of  small  office.   Address  Z-42,  Times. 

d  Salesman:  —  Experience  preferred.  Excellent  opportunity. 
Commission.   Address,  X-36,  Times. 


242  Business  English 

e  Private  Secretary :  —  Accurate,  careful  man  wanted  by  presi- 
dent of  banking  house.  Knowledge  of  stenography  desirable. 
State  age,  experience.   Address  Y-61,  Herald. 

/  Correspondence  Clerk :  —  Circulation  department.  Rapid, 
accurate,  well  educated,  good  knowledge  of  English.  Excellent 
opportunity.  Address,  Box  A-91,  Times. 

2  Write  a  complete  application  in  response  to  one  of  the  following: 

a  Wanted :  —  Young  man  to  assist  in  collection  department  of 
publishing  house.  Experience  desirable,  but  knowledge  of 
human  nature  and  ability  to  write  effectively  are  the  main 
requirements.  Address,  "PUBCO,"  care  of  Printers'  Ink, 
12  West  31st  Street,  New  York  City. 

h  Wanted :  —  Clean,  straightforward,  ambitious  man  to  solicit 
subscriptions  and  handle  correspondence  on  trade  paper.  The 
advertiser  is  publisher  of  a  large  national  weekly  trade  paper, 
desirous  of  securing  the  services  of  a  young  man  who  can  write 
convincing  letters  and  secure  subscriptions  without  the  aid  of 
premiums.  Applicant  should  give  age,  nationality,  previous 
employer,  references,  salary.  Splendid  opening  for  the  right 
man.  All  applications  treated  as  confidential.  Address,  R-571, 
PRINTERS'  INK. 

3  From  the  Want  Columns  of  the  daily  paper  of  your  city  or  some 
neighboring  large  city,  select  ^an  advertisement  for  a  position 
which  you  think  you  are  capable  of  filling.  Write  an  application 
in  response  to  it. 

4  An  advertisement  for  a  stenographer  required  a  young  man  or 
woman  of  experience,  able  to  write  over  one  hundred  words  a 
minute.  Point  out  the  faults  of  the  following  answer: 

Dear  Sir: 

In  answer  to  your  advertisement  in  this  evening's 
World,  I  wish  to  state  that  I  am  an  experienced  stenog- 
^  rapher,  have  a  thorough  knowledge  of  spelling,  gram- 

mar, punctuation,  and  can  read  my  notes  readily. 

A and  B machines.  Hoping  to  be  granted 

an  interview,  I  am 

Very  truly  yours, 

M.  Marks 

Applications  for  Recommended  Positions 

The  easiest  positions  to  secure,  as  a  rule,  are  those  for 
which  you  have  been  recommended.  But  you  must  not 
make  the  mistake  of  supposing  that  your  sponsors  will 


Applications  and  Recommendations  243 

do  all  the  work  for  you.  What  you  have  to  say  for  your- 
self is  more  important.  Your  letter  must  supply  any 
essential  facts  about  yourself  that  your  sponsors  may 
have  omitted.  If  you  can  give  the  facts  about  yourself 
in  a  personal  interview,  this  is  the  better  plan.  But  if 
you  must  write,  write  carefully  and  completely. 

It  is  evident  that  you  need  not  speak  of  your  person- 
ality and  character.  It  is  also  evident  that  you  need  say 
little  about  the  part  of  your  training  or  experience  with 
which  your  sponsor  is  most  familiar  —  probably  that 
obtained  under  his  supervision.  You  must  cover  the 
period  since  that  time  to  the  satisfaction  of  the  reader. 
If  you  desire  to  change  from  your  present  situation,  you 
must  show  why.  Your  reason  must  be  a  good  one.  Mere 
dissatisfaction  with  your  present  position  will  not  do. 
Some  people  are  always  dissatisfied.  Their  frequent 
changes  soon  classify  them  as  "floaters,"  and  employers 
avoid  them.  It  is  a  good  thing  to  have  ambition,  but 
this  is  a  different  thing  from-  discontent.  Be  sure  your 
reason  is  given  in  such  a  way  as  to  avoid  the  appearance 
of  disloyalty  to  present  or  past  employers.  Do  not 
accuse  them  of  favoritism.  Do  not  bewail  your  lack  of 
opportunity,  or  say  you  are  "tired  of  waiting  to  step  into 
dead  men's  shoes." 

Sometimes  it  is  well  to  give  a  very  complete  autobi- 
ography. Employers  often  demand  it.  The  objection 
against  this  in  the  case  of  answers  to  advertisements 
does  not  hold  good  in  applying  for  a  recommended 
position,  for  you  have  not  the  same  necessity  of  attract- 
ing attention.  The  recommendation  has  probably 
secured  a  hearing  for  you.  The  safest  plan  is  to  omit 
nothing  that  can  further  your  cause.  This  method  is 
best  in  case  you  have  had  an  interview  with  the  employer 
and  are  asked  by  him  to  submit  a  letter. 


244  Business  English 

Recommendations 

Letters  of  reconimendation  deserve  attention  both 
from  the  standpoint  of  the  writer  and  from  that  of  the 
user.  There  are  two  main  varieties :  those  that  serve  as 
general  recommendations  addressed  ''To  whom  it  may 
concern'' \ ^nd  those  that  are  addressed  to  an  individ- 
ual or  a  firm. 

The  latter  variety  is  by  far  the  more  valuable.  Some 
business  men  refuse  to  write  the  other,  or  "open"  let- 
ter. When  an  employee  leaves  their  service  they  simply 
promise  to  answer  truthfully  any  questions  asked  them 
about  his  character.  Some  men,  on  the  other  hand,  give 
recommendations  to  people  they  hardly  know  by  sight. 
They  even  sign  recommendations  written  by  the  appli- 
cant himself.  Such  letters  have  no  value  and  they  have 
helped  bring  the  letter  of  recommendation  into  unde- 
served disrepute. 

If  an  open  letter  of  recommendation  is  written,  it 
should  be  brief,  and  should  state  only  facts  within  the 
writer's  knowledge.  Usually  a  concise  history  of  the 
employee's  service  with  the  company  is  enough.  Opin- 
ions should  be  given  reservedly,  if  at  all. 

The  following  is  a  good  style  of  the  open  recommenda- 
tion: 

To  Whom  It  may  Concern: 

This  will  certify  that  Mr.  John  Doe  was  in  our  em- 
ploy from  May  21,  1914  to  June  28,  1915,  as  an  assist- 
ant accountant.  During  the  larger  period  of  his  service 
his  compensation  was  $20.00  per  week.  On  account  of 
his  efficiency  as  an  assistant  accountant  his  salary  was 
increased  in  June  1915,  to  $25.00  per  week.  Soon  after 
this  he  voluntarily  left  our  service  to  associate  himself 
with  Mr.  Richard  Doe. 

His  work  was  entirely  satisfactory  both  as  assistant 
and  in  charge  of  small  engagements  during  the  latter 


Applications  and  Recommendations  245 

part  of  his  service,  and  he  gave  promise  of  development 
that  would  warrant  promotion  to  the  rank  of  account- 
ant in  charge.  His  industry  and  habits  were  both 
entirely  satisfactory. 

Very  truly  yours, 

The  recommendation  addressed  to  an  individual  is 
much  more  valuable,  and  is  easier  to  write.  It  is  a  per- 
sonal communication  and  should  therefore  be  adapted 
to  the  reader.  It  should  give  the  facts  concretely  and 
explicitly,  and  it  should  be  free  from  laudatory  state- 
ments of  a  general  nature.  Overpraise  arouses  suspi- 
cion. Some  men  like  to  display  their  descriptive  talents 
in  every  letter  of  recommendation  they  write,  with  re- 
sults that  are,  to  say  the  least,  not  helpful  to  the  person 
eulogized. 

Eulogy  should  be  the  exception,  rather  than  the  rule, 
in  letters  of  recommendation.  Praise  should  be  given 
where  it  is  due,  but  blame  also  should  sometimes  be 
given.  Usually  it  only  adds  to  the  value  of  the  praise. 
And  as  in  the  letter  of  application,  one  concrete  fact  is 
worth  several  general  assertions. 

The  following  letter  will  illustrate  an  individual 
recommendation  that  produced  the  right  effect : 

Mr.  John  C.  Carter, 
Bedford,  Mass. 
Dear  Mr.  Carter: 

This  will  introduce  to  you  Mr.  Arthur  H.  Corlis  — 
who  wants  to  get  into  advertising  work.  I  feel  sure  that 
his  qualifications  will  appeal  to  you. 

He  has  had  no  practical  experience  in  the  work,  ex- 
cept that  obtained  in  the  business  department  of  a 
small  newsi)aper  in  Ohio.  Most  of  his  experience  has 
been  in  the  technical  field. 

He  writes  well,  however,  and  has  a  great  deal  of 
originality  and  force. 

Of  his  personality  I  will  say  only  this.   He  came  to 


246  Business  English 

the  Milbank  School  last  fall,  without  knowing  a  single 
person  in  the  city.  Two  weeks  after  his  entrance  he 
was  elected  president  of  his  class. 

I  have  a  very  high  opinion  of  his  possibilities  and 
shall  personally  appreciate  any  consideration  you  may 
give  him. 

Very  truly  yours, 

F.  G.  Hopkins 

The  applicant  should  have  some  judgment  in  his  use 
of  letters  of  recommendation.  A  large  sheaf  of  them  is 
not  always  an  asset,  especially  if  they  are  all  from  his 
teachers,  his  father's  old  friends,  and  the  pastor  of  his 
church.  There  are  occasions,  of  course,  when  a  consid- 
erable number  of  recommendations  may  profitably  be 
used.  Bankers  and  investment  houses  sometimes  attach 
weight  to  them,  for  they  are  concerned  with  an  appli- 
cant's social  standing  and  moral  integrity.  In  the  ma- 
jority of  cases,  it  is  better  to  select  only  the  one  or  two 
recommendations  that  are  most  valuable,  by  reason  of 
the  writer's  reputation,  his  knowledge  of  the  applicant, 
and  the  force  of  his  expression  of  opinion.  The  others 
should  be  held  in  reserve.  Some  should  never  be  used  at 
all,  for  a  poor  recommendation  is  a  detriment  rather 
than  a  help. 

Unsolicited  Applications 

You  will  frequently  find  it  advisable  not  to  depend  on 
recommendations  of  friends,  nor  to  wait  for  advertise- 
ments, but  to  go  hunting  for  the  position.  You  can  do 
this  by  the  use  of  letters. 

But  don't  use  them  indiscriminately.  Don't  follow 
the  practice  of  those  who  write  a  form  letter  and  send 
copies  of  it  to  fifty  different  concerns,  in  the  hope  that 
they  may  find  an  opening  somewhere.  This  method 
sometimes  succeeds,  but  it  does  so  only  at  the  expense  of 


Applications  and  Recommendations  247 

annoying  many  business  men,  and  it  rarely  secures  the 
best  possible  opening. 

The  better  way  is  to  select  a  firm  whose  employ  you 
wish  to  enter  and  then  make  a  well-directed  effort  to  get 
there.  Your  selection  should  be  carefully  considered, 
and  should  be  based  upon  the  opportunities  for  advance- 
ment rather  than  upon  immediate  salary. 

When  you  have  picked  out  the  firm  and  are  sure  that 
it  is  the  place  for  you,  there  still  remains  the  harder  task 
of  showing  that  you  are  the  one  for  the  place.  One  big 
asset  is  your  desire  to  go  there.  But  it  is  not  an  argu- 
ment, unless  you  make  the  employer  feel  that  it  is  really 
based  on  your  suitability  for  the  work,  and  your  inten- 
tion to  devote  the  rest  of  your  days  to  it.  Employers  are 
justly  skeptical.  They  have  seen  too  many  men  who 
thought  they  were  born  accountants  or  ad-men,  only  to 
change  their  minds  after  the  first  test  of  hard  work. 

So  you  should  spend  most  of  your  energy  finding  out 
the  best  way  to  reach  the  employer.  Take  an  inventory 
of  your  life  and  see  what  there  is  in  it  that  will  help  him. 
See  what  qualities  of  your  character  are  demanded  in  his 
business.  Then  adopt  a  tone  that  will  be  adapted  to  him. 

You  may  find  that  the  circumstances  demand  a  more 
extensive  campaign  than  a  single  letter.  You  may  want 
to  use  one  letter  simply  to  gain  attention.  Remember 
that  a  few  words  about  the  reader's  business  will  do  that 
more  effectively  than  a  page  about  yourself.  They 
show  at  least  that  the  firm  interests  you.  You  may  later 
find  that  you  interest  the  firm. 

No  general  rules  can  be  given  for  the  procedure.  It 
varies  with  the  individual.  One  young  man  introduced 
himself  to  a  firm  by  calling  attention  to  a  fault  in  the 
plan  of  the  firm's  new  building  which  would  have  made 
the  work  of  checking  up  delivery  men  both  diflScult  and 


248  Business  English 

inefficient.  Another  pointed  out  a  possible  improvement 
in  a  certain  sales  letter.  Another  suggested  an  advertis- 
ing slogan  that  was  adopted  by  a  firm  —  and  the  young 
man  with  it.  Such  cases  are,  of  course,  rare.  But  cases 
are  not  so  rare  where  men  have  secured  positions  by 
unsolicited  letters  that  were  adapted  to  the  reader  in 
argument  and  tone. 

Exercises 

1  You  have  been  recommended  by  the  principal  of  your  school  for  a 
position  as  clerk  in  the  shipping  department  of  a  mail-order  house. 
No  experience  is  required.  Decide  for  yourself  what  branch  of 
your  school  training  would  be  most  useful  and  emphasize  this  in 
your  letter  of  application. 

2  You  have  been  recommended  by  your  English  teacher  for  a  posi- 
tion in  the  advertising  department  of  Brown  and  Jones,  your  own 
city,  and  have  been  asked  to  put  your  application  in  writing. 
Write  the  letter. 

3  You  have  been  recommended  by  your  uncle  for  a  position  as  clerk 
in  the  retail  clothing  store  of  Caldwell  &  Morrison,  of  your  own 
city.  You  will  be  expected  to  assist  in  the  bookkeeping  and 
correspondence.   Write  the  letter  of  application. 

4  Assume  that  you  are  about  to  be  graduated  from  your  school. 
Pick  out  some  firm  by  whom  you  would  like  to  be  employed. 
Write  an  unsolicited  letter  of  application  to  this  firm. 

5  Assume  that  by  the  help  of  an  introduction  from  some  relative 
or  friend,  you  have  secured  an  interview  with  the  head  of  some 
firm  by  whom  you  wish  to  be  employed.  At  the  conclusion  of 
the  interview  the  head  of  the  firm  has  asked  you  to  write  a 
letter  of  application  which  he  can  file  for  reference.     Do  so. 

6  One  of  your  classmates  is  desirous  of  obtaining  employment  with 
a  firm  but  is  not  acquainted  with  any  member  of  the  concern. 
The  president  has  known  you  for  many  years.  Write  a  letter  of 
introduction  for  your  classmate  to  this  president. 

7  The  president  of  a  certain  company  has  known  you  for  several 
years  and  writes  to  get  your  opinion  of  one  of  your  classmates 
who  has  applied  to  him  for  a  position.  Write  a  letter  of  recom- 
mendation. 


PART  IV 

SALES  LETTERS  AND  ADVERTISING 

CHAPTER  I 
SALES    LETTERS 

The  Nature  of  the  Sales  Letter 

The  sales  letter  is  at  once  the  most  difficult  and  the 
most  important  type  of  business  message.  It  is  espe- 
cially important  to  the  student,  because  if  he  succeeds 
in  mastering  the  principles  of  sales-letter  writing,  he 
should  be  able  to  handle  other  types  of  business  letters 
with  greater  ease.  All  letters,  it  should  be  remembered, 
are  in  a  sense  sales  letters,  since  they  are  all  the  repre- 
sentatives of  the  writer  and  all  have  the  purpose  of 
yielding  profit  to  him  in  the  end. 

The  principles  that  have  been  laid  down  for  the  con- 
struction of  ordinary  letters  apply,  with  even  greater 
force  to  the  construction  of  the  sales  letter.  Nowhere 
else  is  it  so  necessary  to  take  the  reader's  point  of  view 
and  adapt  the  message  to  him.  Nowhere  else  is  it  so 
necessary  to  have  the  quality  of  character  that  makes  a 
letter  distinctive  and  compelling. 

The  Right  Point  of  View 

A  sales  letter  is  truly  *'  salesmanship  on  paper,"  but  it 
must  not  be  the  kind  of  salesmanship  that  makes  the 
reader  feel  that  you  are  trying  to  sell  him  something;  in- 

^49 


250  Business  English 

stead,  it  should  make  him  feel  that  he  wants  to  buy 
something  from  you.  In  other  words,  a  sales  letter 
should  give  a  buying  impression  rather  than  a  selling 
impression.  The  writer  should  place  himself  in  the  posi- 
tion of  the  reader  and  say  '*  Would  this  letter  make  me 
want  to  buy  the  article.^" 

The  importance  of  this  point  of  view  will  be  seen  if  we 
examine  the  multitude  of  letters  beginning  "  We  are  just 
placing  upon  the  market  a  valuable  article,"  or  with 
some  similar  phrase.  Throughout  such  letters  the  reader 
usually  finds  that  the  writer  has  emphasized  his  own  in- 
terests and  the  proposition  he  has  to  offer.  We  must 
never  forget  that  the  reader's  first  interest  is  self-inter- 
est. Before  he  can  become  interested  in  our  article  he 
must  feel  a  need  for  it.  All  this  is  but  another  application 
of  the  principle  of  the  "  you  attitude. "  It  is  upon  this 
principle  that  the  whole  construction  of  the  sales  letter 
is  based.  The  point  of  view  must  always  be  the  reader 
first. 

The  Personal  Touch 

Closely  associated  with  this  first  principle  of  sales-let- 
ter writing  is  the  second  principle  that  the  letter  should 
be  a  personal  and  individual  message  to  the  reader.  In 
this  possibility  lies  the  great  advantage  of  the  sales  letter 
over  the  advertisement.  It  comes  to  the  reader  as  an 
isolated  communication  undisturbed  by  reading  matter 
or  other  sales  messages  u\  adjoining  columns.  Even 
though  a  person  receives  many  letters  in  the  same  mail, 
each  one  of  them  is  isolated  from  the  others  and  is  an  in- 
timate, personal  communication  —  or  should  be.  If  it  is 
addressed  to  John  Smith  it  should  be  a  letter  to  John 
Smith,  as  personal  to  him  as  a  salesman's  talk  would  be. 

This  may  appear  difficult  in  view  of  the  fact  that  sales 


Sales  Letters  251 

letters  must  nearly  always  be  form  letters.  The  letter 
sent  to  John  Smith  is  the  same,  except  for  the  address,  as 
that  sent  to  Thomas  Brown  and  thousands  of  others. 
Nevertheless,  each  of  these  form  letters  should  be  made 
to  seem  personal  and  individual. 

To  this  end,  various  devices  are  used  to  make  its  me- 
chanical appearance  seem  personal.  In  most  cases,  the 
body  of  the  letter  is  printed  by  some  process  that  makes 
it  resemble  typewriting,  and  the  inside  address  is  type- 
written at  the  top.  Care  is  taken  to  see  that  this 
filled-in  address  matches  in  color  and  style  the  body 
of  the  letter. 

Sometimes  in  the  body  of  the  letter  the  reader  is  again 
addressed  by  name,  and  his  name  is  again  filled  in  on 
the  typewriter.  For  the  best  results,  the  name  must 
come  at  the  end  of  the  line,  as  otherwise  the  space  left 
would  have  to  be  long  enough  for  the  longest  name,  and 
when  a  short  name  had  to  be  used,  the  fact  that  it  was 
filled  in  would  be  easily  detected. 

Examples 
Bad: 

Now,  Mr.  Ottendorfer,  I  am  sure  you  will  agree  with  me 
when  I  say  that  this  machine,  etc 

Now,  Mr.  NyCy           I  am  sure  you  will  agree  with  me 
when  I  say  that  this  machine,  etc 

Better  : 

Now,  I  am  sure  you  will  agree  with  me,  Mr.  Ottendorfer, 
when  I  say  that  this  machine,  etc 

Now,  I  am  sure  you  will  agree  with  me,  Mr,  Nye, 
when  I  say  that  this  machine,  etc ■ 

Among  other  mechanical  devices  are  facsimiles  of 
comments  in  red  ink,  or  blue  pencil,  or  black  crayon. 


252  Business  English 

Sometimes  mistakes  in  typing  are  deliberately  made. 
New  ways  are  continually  being  devised  to  make  the 
letter  appear  personal.  Among  the  latest  is  a  machine, 
similar  in  principle  to  the  player-piano,  which  is  at- 
tached to  the  typewriter  and  automatically  produces 
completely  written  copies  of  a  letter  at  great  speed. 

These  devices  are  mentioned  here  merely  to  show  how 
important  it  is  that  the  sales  letter  should  appear  to  be 
—  and  be  actually  —  a  personal  message  to  the  reader. 
It  is  not  in  the  mechanical  form,  however,  that  there  is 
greatest  need  of  the  personal  touch.  Mechanical  devices 
are  ineffective  with  many  people.  It  is  in  the  mes- 
sage that  the  writer  should  find  the  way  to  impress  the 
reader. 

The  message  in  words  should  first  of  all  be  adapted  to 
the  reader's  character,  mood,  and  present  situation. 
For  this  purpose  we  may  consider  one  reader  as  typical 
of  the  whole  group  of  those  to  whom  the  letter  is  sent. 
John  Smith  may  differ  from  Thomas  Brown  in  minor 
particulars,  but  both  are  alike  in  occupation,  in  financial 
standing,  in  education,  or  in  some  other  respect  which 
led  to  their  inclusion  in  a  list  of  prospective  customers. 
Consequently,  the  letter  that  is  adapted  to  one  will  be 
fairly  well  adapted  to  the  other.  All  the  possible  buyers 
of  a  given  article  may  be  divided  into  groups,  either 
large  or  small,  each  group  with  certain  characteristics  in 
common.  Some  of  the  more  important  of  these  groups 
will  be  considered  in  the  next  chapter,  so  that  the  stu- 
dent may  learn  how  to  make  an  analysis  of  possible  buy- 
ers and  adapt  the  language,  tone,  and  substance  of  his 
letters  to  them.  For  the  present,  it  is  enough  to  recog- 
nize that  the  writer  should  always  feel  himself  in  the 
presence  of  his  reader,  and  write  to  him  as  he  might  talk 
to  him. 


Sales  Letters  258 

The  Four  Functions  of  a  Sales  Letter 

The  typical  sales  letter  performs  four  main  functions, 
which  correspond  very  closely  to  the  four  functions  of 
personal  salesmanship. 

1  Attracting  attention. 

2  Arousing  desire. 

3  Convincing  the  mind. 

4  Stimulating  action. 

These  four  functions,  of  course,  are  performed  only 
by  a  letter  that  tries  to  be  a  complete  sales  appeal.  Some 
sales  letters  are  a  part  of  a  long  series,  each  of  which  at- 
tempts only  one  part  of  the  work.  Other  letters  are  in 
response  to  an  inquiry  which  shows  that  attention  has 
been  attracted  and  desire  aroused.  For  convenience, 
however,  we  may  consider  first  the  letter  that  attempts 
to  make  a  complete  sales  appeal. 

To  see  how  these  principles  are  worked  out  in  practice, 
let  us  consider  a  letter  that  was  sent  to  a  group  of  rail- 
road-station agents  in  small  towns  all  over  the  United 
States.  All  these  station  agents  have  work  of  much  the 
same  kind  to  do,  and  that  work  involves  many  typical 
experiences,  reference  to  which  would  lead  to  a  feeling 
of  intimacy  between  reader  and  writer.  Railroad  life, 
moreover,  leads  to  certain  usages  in  language  that  are 
peculiar  to  this  group.  All  these  things  were  taken  into 
account  by  the  writer  in  finding  the  right  appeal  for  his 
letter.  Then,  as  we  shall  see,  he  constructed  his  letter 
according  to  the  four  functions. 

Mr.  Station  Agent  — 
Brother  Railroader: 

As  soon  as  you  have  told  the  fellow  at  the  ticket 
window  that  the  noon  train  is  due  at  twelve  o'clock,  and 
satisfied  the  young  lady  that  her  telegram  will  be  sent 


254  Business  English 

at  once,  and  O.  S*d  the  way  freight,  and  explained  to 
the  Grand  Mogul  at  the  other  end  of  the  wire  what 
delayed  'em,  I  'd  like  to  chat  with  you  just  a  minute. 

It's  about  a  book  —  to  tell  the  truth,  just  between 
you  and  me,  I  don't  suppose  it's  a  bit  better  book  than 
you  could  write  yourself  if  you  had  the  time.  I  simply 
wrote  it  because  I'm  an  old  railroad  man  and  tele- 
grapher and  had  time  to  write  it. 

The  title  of  the  book  is  "At  Finnegan's  Cigar  Store," 
and  the  hero  of  the  fourteen  little  stories  which  the 
booklet  contains  is  Mr.  Station  Agent.  The  first  story 
in  the  book  "How  Finnegan  Bought  Himself  a  Dia- 
mond," is  worth  the  price  of  that  ten-cent  cigar  you're 
smoking,  and  that's  all  the  book  will  cost  you. 

I  know  you  '11  like  it  —  I  liked  it  myself.  I  'm  so  sure 
of  it  I  am  inclosing  a  ten-cent  coin  card  for  you  to  use 
in  ordering  it.  A  dime  in  the  card  and  postage  stamp 
on  the  letter  will  bring  you  the  book  by  first  mail. 
"Nuff  said." 

"73" 

E.  N.  Richardson 

P.S.  —  I  am  inclosing  another  card  for  your  night 
operator,  if  you  have  one  —  I  'd  hate  to  have  him  feel 
that  I  had  slighted  him. 

In  this  letter  it  was  not  feasible  to  obtain  the  personal 
touch  by  means  of  mechanical  form  and  appearance. 
The  book  was  so  low  in  price  that  the  cost  of  the  letter 
had  to  be  very  low  in  order  to  leave  any  margin  of  profit. 
It  had  to  be  cheaply  printed  and  sent  under  a  one  cent 
stamp.  Filling  in  the  name  and  address  would  have  in- 
creased the  cost  considerably,  and  the  few  extra  orders 
would  not  have  resulted  in  enough  profit  to  justify  the 
additional  expense. 

In  place  of  the  filled-in  name  and  address,  a  rather  un- 
usual form  of  salutation  is  used  to  make  the  reader  feel 
that  the  writer  is  on  his  level  and  in  accord  with  him. 
The  novelty  of  the  salutation  itself  attracts  attention 


Sales  Letters  ^55 

and  makes  for  the  necessary  intimacy  of  relation.  The 
first  paragraph  of  the  letter  likewise  attracts,  because  it 
talks  of  things  within  the  daily  experience  of  the  reader. 

The  second  and  third  paragraphs  arouse  desire  for  the 
book  by  describing  it  briefly  and  by  naming  a  low  price. 
This  price  is  made  to  seem  even  lower  by  comparing  it 
with  the  price  of  a  cigar,  the  pleasure  of  which  is  far  less 
permanent  than  the  pleasure  to  be  found  in  the  book. 

There  is  no  necessity  in  this  case  of  convincing  the 
mind  by  evidence  in  the  form  of  testimonials,  sample 
pages,  money-back  offers,  or  guarantees.  The  book  is  so 
cheap  that  desire  is  all  that  is  necessary  to  make  a  man 
decide  to  buy  it.  Had  the  price  been  higher  —  say  one 
dollar  —  such  proof  might  have  been  necessary.  It  will 
be  noted,  however,  that  there  is  reference  to  the  writer's 
qualifications,  which  help  to  convince  the  reader  that 
the  book  is  worth  having. 

Action  is  stimulated  by  the  inclosure  of  a  coin  card, 
which  makes  response  easy,  and  by  exact  directions  for 
using  it.  The  letter  then  closes  with  another  touch  of 
intimacy,  the  use  of  "  73,"  the  telegrapher's  signal  for 
*'Good  night,"  instead  of  the  conventional  "Yours 
truly." 

The  letter  given  above  is  perhaps  not  typical  of  sales 
letters  in  the  sense  that  it  is  not  a  conventional  applica- 
tion of  the  principles  of  sales-letter  writing.  It  does, 
however,  show  the  application  of  all  these  principles. 
To  make  them  clearer,  it  will  be  necessary  merely  to 
analyze  the  several  parts  of  the  sales-letter  problem. 

Attracting  Attention 

The  sales  letter  must  first  of  all  attract  attention.  An 
unread  letter  is  only  so  much  waste  paper.  No  matter 
how  appealing  the  description,  how  good  the  argument, 


256  Business  English 

or  how  strong  the  stimulus  to  action,  these  are  useless 
unless  the  receiver  of  the  letter  becomes  a  reader. 

It  might  be  thought  that  the  simplest  way  to  attract 
attention  to  a  letter  is  by  the  use  of  an  odd  size,  a  strik- 
ing color,  or  a  pictorial  letterhead.  These  devices  are 
sometimes  tried,  but  usually  do  not  meet  with  the  high- 
est success,  because  although  they  do  attract  attention, 
they  attract  it  to  the  form  of  the  letter  and  not  to  the 
substance  of  the  message.  The  receiver  of  the  letter 
must  have  his  attention  attracted  to  the  message. 

In  letters  to  some  classes  of  persons,  mainly  advertis- 
ing men  and  business  men  interested  in  advertising, 
headlines  or  quotations  indicating  the  subject  are  some- 
times placed  at  the  beginning,  separate  from  the  body  of 
the  letter.  The  chief  disadvantage  of  such  headlines  is 
that  they  take  away  somewhat  from  the  personal  char- 
acter of  the  letter  and  bring  it  into  the  field  of  adver- 
tising. Under  special  conditions  they  are  not  only 
allowable  but  advisable.  The  following  examples  will 
illustrate: 

What  IS  this  *  Practical  Typometre'  they're 
talking  about  —  is  it  a  vegetable  or  an  animal? 

Subject:  Better  letters  for  your  customers. 

Even  where  a  headline  is  used,  and  certainly  in  all 
other  cases,  attention  must  be  attracted  by  the  first  par- 
agraphs in  the  body  of  the  letter.  The  first  requirement 
is  that  these  paragraphs  should  look  attractive.  This 
means  that  they  must  be  reasonably  short  and  simple  in 
construction.  A  long  paragraph  repels  the  eye  and  dis- 
tracts reading.  A  short  one  invites.  It  is  frequently 
advisable  to  cut  a  long  sentence  in  two  for  the  sake  of 
making  separate  paragraphs  at  the  beginning  of  a  letter. 
The  following  example  will  illustrate: 


Sales  Letters  257 

Frankly,  Mr.  Blank: 

If  a  man  should  call  on  you  and  tell  you  that  he 
could  solve  all  of  your  oflSce  problems  —  that  he 
would  guarantee  to  develop  a  higher  degree  of  eflfi- 
ciency — show  you  a  better  system  of  handling  detail  — 

If  he  told  you  that  he  had  many  years  of  experi- 
ence in  the  management  of  large  office  organiza- 
tions —  that  he  was  now  an  officer  in  a  large  business 
training  institute,  and  was  also  a  lecturer  on  office 
organization  in  one  of  the  large  universities  —  if  he 
told  you  that  he  had  investigated  and  correlated  the 
office  systems  of  the  National  Cash  Register  Com- 
pany, Burroughs  Adding  Machine  Company,  Sher- 
win-Williams Paint  Company,  Ford  Motor  Com- 
pany —  if  he  proved  to  you  that  he  was  an  expert, 
would  you  pay  him  three  dollars  to  work  for  you? 

The  beginning  of  the  letter  should  be  directed  to  the  reader, 
"  We  beg  to  announce"  is  an  interest-killer.  So  are  most 
other  beginnings  that  use  the  first  personal  pronoun. 
This  is  not  merely  because  they  are  likely  to  be  trite,  but 
because  they  are  about  the  writer.  The  reader  has  his 
own  interests,  and  the  writer  should  adapt  himself  to 
them.  The  second  personal  pronoun,  you,  should  domi- 
nate the  beginning,  but  this  is  really  less  important  than 
taking  the  point  of  view  of  you. 

Examples 

Bad  Better 

I  wish  to  call  your  attention  to  You  do  not  know  what  day 

a  New  York  business  book  I  have  you  may  face  some  question  of 

published  and  which  is  the  latest  business  law   that  will  demand 

and  most  authoritative  work  on  immediate  answer.    On  the  an- 

its   subject,    that   of   "Business  swer  depends  perhaps  the  success 

Law,"  which  is  of  great  and  con-  or  failure  of  your  future, 

stantly  increasing  ini])(>rtance  in  If  you  have  already  felt  that 

the  world  of  affairs  to-day.  need  you  will  certainly  want  to  ex- 
amine Blank's  "Business  Lew." 


258  Business  English 

The  beginning  of  a  letter  should  be  specific  and  concrete: 
It  should  not  be  filled  with  vague  abstractions,  such  as 
"  highest  quality"  and  "  largest  profit,"  but  should  visu- 
alize its  statements  in  terms  of  concrete  material  and 
dollars  and  cents.  General  statements  are  likely  to  be 
.  trite,  because  they  are  used  by  many  people  and  are  ap- 
plicable to  many  different  propositions.  When  the  writer 
says  that  his  machine  will  interest  us  because  of  its  econ- 
omy and  eflSciency,  we  are  not  interested,  because  econ- 
omy and  efficiency  are  generalities  that  we  cannot  visu- 
alize. If  he  tells  us  the  article  will  reduce  our  fuel  bills 
ten  per  cent,  or  enable  one  man  to  do  the  work  of  two, 
we  are  eager  to  read  further.  This  principle  holds  good 
where  the  beginning  talks  directly  about  the  subject  or 
about  some  general  truth  which  will  lead  to  interest  in 
the  specific  subject. 

Compare  the  following  beginnings  of  letters  written  to 
young  men : 

Bad  Better 

Dear  Sir:  Dear  Sir: 

We  hear  it  constantly  said  that  A  Chicago  paper  in  a  recent 
there  is  an  abundance  of  men  of  editorial  said,  "There  are  $3000 
average  ability,  but  the  really  men  in  this  country  in  abund- 
high-grade  man  is  remarkably  ance,  but  $5000  and  $10000  men, 
scarce.  while  in  great  demand,  are  as 

scarce  as  the  oysters  in  a  stew  at 
a  church  supper." 

The  beginning  of  the  letter  should  be  original.  That  is 
another  reason  why  the  old,  trite  method  of  beginning 
"We  beg  to  announce"  is  fatal  to  the  success  of  a  sales 
letter.  People  are  not  interested  in  things  they  believe 
they  have  heard  before,  and  a  beginning  of  this  kind  is 
so  often  used  that  it  is  entirely  worn  out.  The  writer 
should  be  very  careful  to  avoid  even  such  beginnings  as 


Sales  Letters  259 

"You  will  be  interested,  weare  sure,"  or  "Your  attention 
is  called  to  the  fact  that,"  or  "  Have  you  ever  stopped  to 
consider?  "  It  is  impossible  to  give  here  a  list  of  all  the 
trite  beginnings,  but  it  must  be  set  down  as  a  general 
principle  that  any  of  the  beginnings  that  sound  old  and 
hackneyed  should  be  avoided,  because  they  are  no  longer 
capable  of  attracting  attention. 

The  beginning  should  be  relevant.  Sometimes  in  a 
search  for  odd  or  unique  beginnings,  the  sales-letter 
writer  strays  too  far  from  his  subject  and  finds  it  impos- 
sible to  relate  his  beginning  idea  to  the  body  of  the  let- 
ter. This  is  wasteful  at  best  and  is  in  most  cases  ineffec- 
tive. The  reader  feels  that  he  has  been  tricked  into 
reading  the  letter  and  resents  it  accordingly.  The  fol- 
lowing illustrates  a  relevant  beginning: 

Dear  Sir  :  — 

The  lowest  price  at  which  The  Harvard  Classics  — 
Br.  Eliot's  famous  Five-Foot  Shelf  of  Books,  WILL 
EVER  BE  SOLD  HAS  NOW  BEEN  REACHED  in 
the  new  silk  cloth  edition,  costing  one-tenth  the  price 
of  the  original  sets. 

I  have  set  aside  one  hundred  sets  of  this  edition  for 
the  specific  purpose  of  FREE  EXAMINATION.  This 
letter  is  your  opportunity  to  examine  one  of  these 
hundred  "free  examination  sets"  in  your  own  home. 

Not  only  should  attention  be  attracted  to  the  article, 
but  it  should  be  done  in  a  positive  way.  It  should  not  be 
by  the  use  of  negatives  such  as  "Don't  throw  this  in  the 
waste  basket."  Neither  should  it  be  done  by  attacking 
competitors  or  by  implying  that  there  is  danger  of  loss 
in  buying  imitations. 

Another  great  danger  to  be  guarded  against  is  the  un- 
pleasant suggestion.  It  is  unwise  to  bring  to  the  mind 
of  the  reader  at  the  start  of  a  letter  any  unpleasant  feel- 


260  Business  English 

ing,  because  this  is  not  usually  associated  with  a  desire 
to  buy.  A  letter  on  an  investment  proposition  that  be- 
gan with  tlu*  statement  that  ''Millions  are  lost  yearly 
through  unwise  investment"  might  secure  attention, but 
it  would  also  arouse  a  feeling  that  would  be  fatal  to  the 
selling  of  stock. 

There  are  occasions,  of  course,  when  the  writer  may 
begin  with  an  unpleasant  suggestion.  If  his  article  is  one 
that  can  be  sold  to  people  only  through  their  sense  of 
fear  —  such  as  a  fire  extinguisher  or  a  lightning  rod  —  it 
may  be  well  to  draw  a  picture  that  would  frighten  the 
reader  at  the  beginning.  Such  occasions  are  rare  and  the 
use  of  an  unpleasant  suggestion  requires  great  caution. 
When  in  doubt,  avoid  it. 

To  sum  up  the  requirements  of  a  good  beginning:  it 
should  be  attractive  in  appearance,  apt,  specific,  con- 
crete, personal,  positive,  and  pleasant.  It  should  touch 
the  reader's  experience.  It  should  interest  him  and 
make  him  wish  to  read  the  whole  letter. 

The  following  are  among  the  most  suitable  types  of 
beginnings  for  sales  letters : 

1  A  question. 

Why  do  you  burn  coal.'^  —  probably  because  you  know  of 
nothing  better. 

(Trite  questions,  like  "  Have  you  ever  stopped 
to  consider  .  .  .  ?  "  should  be  avoided.) 

2  A  statement  of  condition. 

If  your  press-men  were  never  late  to  work  or  tired,  never 
struck  for  higher  wages,  and  never  made  mistakes  — 

3  A  command. 

Don't  buy  a  bale  of  cotton  —  buy  a  case  of  manufactured 
cotton  goods. 


Sales  Letters  ^61 

4  A  news  item  or  reference  to  a  matter  of  current 

interest. 
The  army  of  turkey  carvers  will  soon  go  into  action. 

5  A  story  or  anecdote  that  is  relevant  to  the  subject 

(rarely  useful). 

A  colored  gentleman  named  Culpepper  who  had  been  call- 
ing upon  a  young  lady  for  some  time  without  finding  courage 
to  propose  finally  decided  to  telephone.   So  he  called  \\p : 

" Six-O-double  six?  '* 

**Ya-as." 

"Am  dat  you,  Miss  Mandy.^^" 

"Ya-as." 

"Miss  Mandy,  will  yo'  marry  me.'*" 

"Ya-as,  —  who  is  it,  please  ?" 

6  A  specific  statement  of  fact  about  the  article. 

A  five-inch  slide  rule  that  you  can  slip  into  your  pocket 
when  you  go  out  on  the  job. 

7  An  announcement  of  a  bargain  or  limited  time  offer. 

Only  ten  days  more  of  the  special  low-price  offer  on  our 
World's  History. 

Arousing  Desire 

If  the  beginning  of  the  letter  does  attract  attention 
and  arouse  interest,  it  should  be  easy  to  accomplish  the 
next  step,  that  of  arousing  desire.  Sometimes  the  body 
of  the  letter  itself  does  not  try  to  do  this.  Inclosures  of 
samples  or  illustrations  are  used  for  this  purpose.  No 
description  in  words  can  be  so  effective  as  a  pictorial 
representation,  wherever  this  is  possible;  yet  in  many 
cases  a  description  in  words  is  necessary,  because  the 
valuable  qualities  of  the  article  are  unseen.  A  pictiu'c 
of  a  book,  for  example,  would  not  ordinarily  arouse 
much  desire  for  it.  The  writer  must  therefore  give  in  his 
letter  some  description  of  the  article  that  will  bring 


262  Business  English 

out  clearly  its  important  characteristics,  or  "talking 
points." 

The  selection  of  these  talking  points  is  one  of  the 
most  important  problems  of  the  sales-letter  writer. 
There  are  many  instincts  and  emotions  in  human  nature 
that  lead  to  the  desire  for  certain  articles.  Complete 
classification  of  these  instincts  is  impossible  here.  In 
general,  however,  it  may  be  said  that  they  fall  into  two 
groups  —  comfort  and  profit. 

The  latter  is  the  more  common  appeal,  especially  to 
business  men.  OflBce  appliances,  such  as  typewriters, 
dictaphones,  and  adding  machines,  are  desired  only  be- 
cause they  enable  work  to  be  done  more  eflSciently  or 
economically.  They  are  designed  to  save  time,  energy, 
or  money.  The  retailer  who  is  urged  to  put  in  a  certain 
line  of  goods  or  specialties  does  so  because  of  his  desire 
for  larger  sales  or  a  greater  margin  of  profit. 

Every  article  that  is  the  subject  of  a  selling  letter 
must  be  analyzed  to  discover  what  its  possibilities  of 
^  profit  are  to  the  people  to  whom  it  is  sold.  The  writer 
must  put  himself  in  the  reader's  place  and  say  "Now 
why  would  /  buy  this  article.^"  If  he  cannot  do  this,  he 
must  talk  with  representative  members  of  the  buying 
class  and  find  out  what  their  attitude  is. 

The  talking  points  depend  to  some  extent  upon  the 
nature  of  the  competition.  If  we  had  been  selling  the 
first  typewriter  that  had  the  visible-writing  feature,  we 
might  have  used  this  as  the  talking  point.  Now  that  so 
many  typewriters  have  this  feature,  it  is  no  longer  a  dis- 
tinguishing characteristic,  and  something  else  would 
probably  be  far  more  effective;  for  example,  a  two-color 
inking  device  or  a  tabulator.  In  finding  the  talking 
point  then,  it  is  first  necessary  to  know  the  readers  and 
the  elements  in  their  nature  that  would  lead  them  to 


Sales  Letters  263 

desire  the  article.  It  is  most  necessary  to  know  the  dis- 
tinguishing qualities  of  competing  articles  so  that  ours 
may  seem  to  be  different  in  its  chief  point  of  superiority. 

The  right  selection  of  the  talking  point  has  much  to 
do  with  the  success  or  failure  of  any  sales  letter.  When 
we  see,  however,  that  of  two  letters  on  the  same  article 
using  the  same  talking  points,  one  often  produces  twice 
as  many  answers  as  the  other,  we  must  realize  that  the 
method  of  presentation  is  important.  This  usually  in- 
volves some  description,  though  not  necessarily  a  com- 
plete description.  A  description  that  simply  enumerates 
all  the  good  qualities  of  an  article  is  bad. 

The  first  requirement  of  a  description  is  that  it  should 
be  unified;  that  is  to  say,  it  should  be  concentrated  upon 
one  talking  point  —  the  essential  characteristic  of  the 
article  which  distinguishes  it  from  others  and  makes  it 
seem  desirable  to  the  reader.  This  characteristic  must 
not  be  buried  in  a  mass  of  unessential  details. 

Besides  being  unified  —  bringing  out  clearly  the  talk- 
ing point  —  the  description  should  be  as  concrete  as 
possible.  It  should  make  an  appeal  to  the  senses.  To  say 
that  the  machine  is  easy-running  is  not  sufficient.  To 
say  that  it  has  ball  bearings  is  more  specific,  but  does  not 
particularly  arouse  a  desire  for  it;  to  say  that  you  are  not 
tired  after  using  it  makes  a  stronger  human  appeal. 
''No  three  o'clock  fatigue"  sums  it  up  concretely  in  a 
few  words.  It  appeals  to  the  senses  and  arouses  desire. 
The  following  descriptions  illustrate  this  point: 

That  is  the  reason  why  you  will  be  interested  in  the 
Harvard  Valve  of  simplicity.  There  is  not  an  unneces- 
sary part  in  its  whole  construction.  There  are  no  plugs 
to  stick,  no  seats  to  unscrew,  no  discs  to  be  reground, 
no  parts  to  be  re-babbitted.  Harvard  construction 
does  away  with  them  all. 


264  Business  English 

Indian  Cedar  Canoes  are  peculiarly  adapted  to  the 
needs  of  the  canoeist  who  has  to  get  his  arms  back  "in 
trim"  for  the  summer  competitions.  They  are  light. 
Of  course,  most  canoes  are  not  heavy.  But  the  Indian 
Cedars  weigh  only  42  pounds.  They  are  so  light  be- 
cause we  select  the  lightest,  yet  at  the  same  time  the 
firmest,  wood  for  the  manufacture  of  each  canoe. 

The  description  of  an  article  should  not  only  visualize 
it  to  the  reader  and  make  it  appeal  to  his  senses,  but  if 
possible,  the  description  should  also  contain  some  ac- 
tion. It  must  be  remembered  that  the  possession  of  a 
thing  is  of  less  importance  than  its  use.  Just  as  the  pic- 
ture of  an  automobile  standing  still  arouses  less  desire 
than  a  picture  of  it  in  rapid  motion  along  a  smooth  coun- 
try road,  so  the  description  of  any  article  that  merely 
presents  it  as  it  stands,  is  less  effective  than  the  one  that 
shows  it  in  actual  use.  The  reader  should  be  made  to 
see  the  rug  on  the  floor  of  his  house,  the  adding  machine 
in  his  office,  the  book  in  his  hand,  and  should  be  given  a 
foretaste  of  the  enjoyment  or  profit  that  he  would  derive 
from  them. 

In  the  case  of  some  articles  that  appeal  largely  to  com- 
fort, it  is  often  wise  to  make  the  description  suggestive 
or  imaginative.  You  can  rely  upon  the  reader's  past 
experience  and  awaken  memories  in  him  that  will  lead 
to  the  desire  for  the  article  you  have  to  sell.  This  sug- 
gestive or  imaginative  appeal  must,  of  course,  be  han- 
dled carefully;  otherwise,  it  may  seem  mawkish  or  silly. 
If  you  are  certain  of  your  ground,  however,  you  can 
make  an  appeal  of  this  kind  extremely  forceful.  The 
following  examples  will  illustrate  this  use  of  suggestive 
description. 

The  Harp  is  as  old  as  music  itself.  From  the  dawn  of 
history  its  strings  have  vibrated  to  every  human  emo- 


Sales  Letters  265 

tion.  Modern  perfe(^ti()ii  has  hut  emphasized  all  its  old- 
time  thrill  and  power,  and  added  the  breadth  and  flexi- 
hility  modern  music  demands. 


More  like  Dickens,  Scott,  Stevenson  —  every  Amer- 
ican will  want  a  uniform  edition  of  O.  Henry  —  "The 
American  Kipling."  The  death  of  this  irresistibly 
witty  and  warm-hearted  story-teller  of  course  makes 
his  work  finally  complete.  The  tidal  wave  of  O.  Henry 
popularity  sweeping  over  the  fiction-reading  world 
makes  this  first  beautiful  popular  edition  a  thing  that 
is  bound  to  increase  in  value.  The  eight  splendid 
volumes  with  their  147  gripping  stories,  surcharged 
with  humor  and  pathos,  are  a  perfect  treasury  of  fasci- 
nating and  absorbing  reading.  O.  Henry  is  the  most 
sought-for  author  of  the  day.  Your  library  demands 
him,  your  patriotism  demands  him,  your  humanity 
demands  him. 

Sometimes,  of  course,  the  article  to  be  sold  is  not  a 
tangible  thing,  but  rather  a  service.  In  this  class  would 
come  correspondence  school  courses,  investments,  and 
the  like.  Descriptions  of  these  can  only  be  made  con- 
crete by  putting  them  in  the  form  of  experience.  A 
user  of  the  service  tells  what  it  has  meant  to  him  and 
this  awakens  the  desire  of  the  reader  to  secure  the  same 
benefits. 

Sometimes  the  chief  superiority  of  an  article  lies  in  its 
lower  price.  This  does  not  mean  that  the  letter  should 
concentrate  upon  the  price  itself.  The  bargain  appeal  is 
effective  in  the  case  of  retailing  and  to  a  less  extent  in 
sales  letters.  Even  in  retailing,  however,  it  has  been 
found  that  a  low  price  is  less  likely  to  arouse  desire  than 
a  reason  for  the  low  price.  "  A  $30  suit  for  $15"  is  not 
enough.  But  if  the  retailer  shows  that  this  lower  price 
is  due  to  an  important  purchase  from  a  bankrupt  com- 
pany, or  that  this  is  a  pre-inventory  sale,  or  in  some  other 


266  Business  English 

way  gives  a  reason,  we  feel  that  it  is  an  opportunity  we 
cannot  neglect. 

So,  in  the  letter  that  concentrates  on  price,  we  must 
show  why  the  price  is  low.  We  show  that  our  plan  of  sell- 
ing has  eliminated  the  middleman's  profits,  or  that  our 
enormous  sales  have  decreased  the  cost  of  production. 
In  any  case,  the  idea  to  be  conveyed  is  not  merely  that  the 
price  is  low,  but  that  there  is  a  remarkable  opportunity. 

The  price  appeal,  as  we  shall  see  later,  is  frequently  a 
part  of  the  stimulus  to  action.  In  order  that  it  may  be 
effective  for  this  purpose,  it  is  often  wise  to  devote  the 
main  part  of  the  letter  to  showing  the  value  of  the  arti- 
cle, so  that  the  reader  will  see  its  equivalence  to  higher 
priced  articles.  The  low  price  may  then  be  brought  in  at 
the  end  as  a  strong  inducement  to  immediate  action. 

Convincing 

If  the  desire  is  strong  enough,  the  reader  may  buy  the 
article.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  however,  desire  is  rarely 
strong  enough.  It  is  usually  necessary  not  merely  to 
make  him  want  the  article  but  to  convince  him  that  he 
ought  to  have  it.  That  means  proof,  not  necessarily  in 
the  form  of  argument,  but  nearly  always  based  upon 
some  evidence.  The  kinds  of  evidence  most  frequently 
used  in  sales  letters  are  facts  and  figures,  tests,  and 
testimonials. 

To  business  men,  facts  and  figures  are  frequently 
strong  proof.  We  show  the  merit  of  the  kind  of  type- 
writer we  are  selling  by  giving  facts  about  its  perform- 
ance under  various  conditions.  We  show  the  value  of 
our  automobile  by  giving  its  record  in  endurance  runs  or 
speed  races.  We  ^ive  figures  of  the  growth  of  sales  to 
indicate  its  popularity.  These  are  only  a  few  of  the 
possibilities. 


Sales  Letters  267 

In  giving  evidence  of  this  kind,  the  important  thing  to 
observe  is  that  it  shall  be  absolutely  definite  and  con- 
crete. It  is  not  enough  to  say  that  our  typewriter  "has 
won  numerous  speed  contests"  or  that  *'it  has  several 
gold  medals,"  or  that  machines  that  have  been  in  use  for 
many  years  are  still  in  good  condition.  The  letter  must 
state  when  and  where  the  speed  contests  were  won,  and 
the  like.  For  example,  '*The  international  speed  con- 
tests at  Madison  Square  Garden  for  the  past  nine  years 
have  been  won  on  the  Underwood  Typewriter,"  or  "The 
speed  record  of  136  words  per  minute  was  made  at  Madi- 
son Square  Garden  on  October  25,  1915  by  Miss  Owen, 
on  the  Underwood  Typewriter." 

Testimony  is  frequently  used  as  evidence,  in  spite  of 
the  fact  that  its  use  by  many  patent  medicine  concerns 
and  others  of  doubtful  reputation  has  done  a  good  deal 
to  discredit  it.  If  the  testimonials,  however,  are  from 
people  of  established  reputation  who  are  authorities  in 
their  field  and  whose  honesty  is  unquestioned,  they  may 
be  extremely  valuable  in  convincing. 

If  the  testimonials  in  praise  of  an  article  are  numerous, 
they  are  ordinarily  given  in  the  form  of  some  booklet  or 
other  inclosure.  If  only  a  few  are  employed,  and  theser 
are  short,  they  may  be  inserted  in  the  body  of  the  letter. 
The  following  example  will  illustrate: 

Mr.  George  H.  Daniels,  the  successful  General  Pas- 
senger Agent  of  the  New  York  Central,  said,  "I  am 
using  several  of  your  cabinets  and  find  them  indispen- 
sable to  me  in  my  work." 

The  strongest  kind  of  evidence  is  that  given  by  tests 
which  the  reader  may  perform  for  himself.  A  manu- 
facturer of  waterproof  clothes,  for  example,  inserts  a 
sample  of  his  fabric  and  tells  the  reader  to  dip  it  in 


268  Business  English 

water.  The  manufacturer  of  carbon  paper  shows  how  his 
sample  may  be  tested  in  comparison  with  others.  The 
paint  manufacturer  sends  a  strip  of  wood  coated  with 
his  varnish  and  invites  the  reader  to  use  a  hammer  on  it. 
Whether  the  reader  performs  these  tests  or  not  —  and,  of 
course,  in  many  cases  he  does  not  —  he  is  fairly  certain  to 
be  impressed.  The  mere  fact  that  the  writer  is  willing  to 
submit  to  the  reader's  own  tests,  indicates  that  the  arti- 
cle is  all  it  is  represented  to  be.  The  following  example  is 
a  good  illustration  of  the  way  that  a  test  may  be  handled 
in  the  letter: 

This  letter  was  printed  and  filled  in  on  the  Letter- 
graph  at  an  expense  of  less  than  three-tenths  of  one 
cent.  Can  you  imagine  a  more  perfect  match?  There 
cannot  be  one,  for  the  same  ribbon  that  printed  the  let- 
ter was  used  for  the  fill-in. 

Compare  the  letter  with  work  done  on  any  other 
machine.  Then  compare  the  costs.  You  will  have  the 
two  best  reasons  why  you  should  buy  a  Lettergraph. 

Of  somewhat  similar  nature,  are  guarantees  and  trial 
offers.  The  writer  agrees  to  refund  the  purchase  price,  if 
the  article  proves  unsatisfactory  in  any  way.  He  may 
even  go  a  step  farther  and  send  the  article  on  trial,  to  be 
paid  for  in  case  it  is  found  satisfactory;  otherwise,  to  be 
returned.  Experience  has  proved  that  in  only  a  small 
percentage  of  cases  is  the  article  returned.  This  offer  to 
send  an  article  on  approval,  however,  is  used  not  only  to 
convince,  but  also  in  most  cases  to  influence  action,  and 
therefore  may  properly  be  considered  under  the  next 
heading. 

Stimulating  Action 

It  has  been  shown  that  the  value  of  any  letter  depends 
upon  its  power  to  secure  response.  Attracting  attention, 
arousing  desire,  and  convincing,  all  help  toward  this 


Sales  Letters  269 

final  result.  Usually,  however,  they  are  not  sufficient 
without  some  kind  of  stimulus.  The  best  place  for  this 
stimulus  is  at  the  end  of  the  letter. 

There  are  three  important  ways  in  which  the  letter 
may  close  with  a  stimulus  to  action. 

1  It  may  do  so  by  the  "psychological  command," 
which  is  simply  an  imperative  statement  to  the  reader  to 
do  a  certain  thing. 

2  It  may  smooth  away  the  possible  obstacles  to  order- 
ing and  thus  make  it  easy  for  the  reader  to  do  the  thing 
suggested. 

3  It  may  offer  an  inducement  that  will  be  sufficient  to 
overcome  the  natural  tendency  to  put  the  matter  off. 

Sometimes  only  one  of  these  methods  is  used;  some- 
times two  or  all  of  them  are  used  in  combination. 

The  old-fashioned  form  of  the  psychological  command 
was  simply  *'Do  it  to-day."  It  was  based  upon  the 
sound  theory  that  the  tendency  of  human  nature  is  to 
obey  an  impulse  from  outside,  unless  there  is  some  rea- 
son for  resistance.  The  theory  still  holds  good,  but  the 
particular  command  ''Do  it  to-day"  has  now  been  so 
frequently  used  that  it  has  lost  much  of  its  force. 

The  present  tendency  is  to  substitute  in  place  of  this 
trite  command  something  more  original  and  at  the  same 
time  more  definite.  There  is,  of  course,  no  one  best  form 
that  can  be  recommended.  The  following  are  among  the 
endings  that  have  been  successfully  used : 

^       Pin  a  dollar  bill  to  this  letter  and  mail  at  once. 
Just  sign  and  mail  the  inclosed  card. 
Write  across  the  back  of  this  letter,  **  I  am  interested," 

and  return  it  to  us. 
Dictate  a  memorandum  to  your  stenographer  now 

while  you  think  of  it. 


270  Business  English 

Whatever  the  form  used,  it  is  important  that  there  be 
something  at  the  end  of  the  letter  that  crystallizes  desire 
and  conviction  into  action.  It  is  even  more  important 
that  there  should  be  nothing  that  encourages  delay.  A 
letter  that  ends,  ''Whenever  you  are  in  the  market  for 
this  line  of  goods,  we  shall  be  glad  to  hear  from  you"  is 
ineffective.  One  that  ends,  "Trusting  to  receive  your 
valued  order,  we  remain"  is  hopeless. 

The  whole  theory  of  letter  writing  is  the  theory  of 
efficiency.  That  means  economy  of  the  reader's  time 
and  effort.  In  the  case  of  sales  letters,  it  is  wise  to  re- 
move as  many  as  possible  of  the  obstacles  that  may 
prevent  a  man's  ordering.  If  he  has  to  fill  out  a  long, 
complicated  order  blank,  or  dictate  an  order,  have  it  ad- 
dressed, stamped,  and  mailed,  he  is  put  to  considerable 
trouble  and  expense.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  he  simply 
has  to  drop  into  the  mail  box  a  post  card  that  is  already 
addressed  and  stamped,  there  is  no  obstacle  to  his  doing 
so.   In  fact,  he  has  to  resist,  in  order  not  to  do  it. 

The  factor  of  expense,  of  course,  frequently  prevents 
the  inclosure  of  stamped  and  addressed  post  cards. 
The  general  principle,  however,  should  be  observed, 
that  action  should  be  made  as  easy  as  possible. 

The  systems  of  premiums  and  trading  stamps  that 
prevail  in  many  classes  of  business  are  indications  of  the 
power  of  inducements  in  securing  response.  The  nature 
of  the  inducement  varies  with  different  classes  of  people. 
To  a  business  man,  a  saving  in  the  form  of  money  is 
likely  to  be  most  powerful;  to  a  woman,  an  additional 
article  in  the  way  of  a  premium  is  likely  to  have  a 
stronger  appeal. 

The  special  inducement  should  be  explained  on  the 
ground  that  the  offer  is  open  for  a  limited  time  only, 
because  its  purpose  is  to  avoid  delay  and  stimulate  im- 


Sales  Letters  271 

mediate  action.  A  magazine  publisher,  for  example, 
offers  a  book  or  a  photogravure,  provided  you  renew 
your  subscription  immediately.  A  publisher  of  business 
books  has  a  special  price  for  pre-publication  orders: 
*'This  price  is  to  be  raised  when  the  book  is  published." 
There  are  many  variations  in  all  the  methods  of  stim- 
ulating response.  The  chief  point  to  remember  is  that 
the  sales  letter  should  close  with  some  stimulus.  The 
following  example  will  illustrate: 

You  take  absolutely  no  risk.  You  can  send  for  the 
books  in  the  HARPER  WAY,  examine  them  for  five 
days,  and  if  you  do  not  think  that  these  are  the  books 
you  need  —  especially  now  —  send  them  back  "col- 
lect," the  subscription  to  the  magazine  will  be  canceled 
and  you  will  owe  us  nothing. 

100,000  sets  of  the  former  edition  were  sold.  Men 
and  women  in  every  profession  and  trade  bought  it,  in 
the  HARPER  WAY,  realizing  the  force  behind  it,  the 
importance  of  the  contributors,  the  ease  with  which  in- 
formation may  be  found.  F(yr  there  is  no  cumbersome 
index  —  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  turn  to  the  word  and  the 
whole  story  is  before  you. 

This  new  edition  is  issued  at  the  most  opportune 
time.  Satisfy  yourself  of  its  great  worth  by  sending  for 
the  set  in  the  HARPER  WAY.  That  means :  You  shall 
be  the  judge  of  the  set  yourself. 

Exercises 

1  Assume  that  you  are  circulation  manager  of  your  school  Year 
Book  or  magazine.  Write  a  form  letter  to  be  sent  to  students  to 
obtain  their  subscriptions  for  this  publication. 

2  Assume  that  you  have  opened  a  Steam  Laundry  for  collars  and 
cuffs  exclusively.  By  reason  of  your  specialization  and  your  im- 
proved machinery,  you  are  able  to  give  prompt  service  and  to 
save  wear  and  tear  on  the  linen.  You  can  promise  to  return  goods 
the  day  after  you  receive  them.  You  can  promise  that  goods  sent 
to  you  will  stand  three  to  ^ve  more  washings  than  they  would  if 
done  by  ordinary  processes.  Write  a  form  letter  to  be  sent  to  resi- 
dents of  your  town  to  obtain  their  patronage. 


272  Business  English 

3  Assume  that  you  have  taken  the  agency  for  talking  machines  in 
your  town  and  that  there  is  no  competing  establishment  in  the 
vicinity.  Write  a  letter  to  be  sent  to  possible  patrons  who  are 
known  to  be  musical. 

4  Assume  that  you  have  the  agency  for  the  Victor,  the  Edison,  or 
the  Columbia  Talking  Machine  and  that  agencies  for  the  others 
are  also  established  in  your  community.  Write  letters  to  people 
in  the  outlying  districts  of  your  town  trying  to  sell  them  your 
particular  machine. 

5  Write  a  letter  on  the  subject  of  some  familiar  article  to  be  sold  to 
business  men  all  over  the  country.  The  article  may  be  a  self- 
filling  fountain  pen,  an  improved  inkwell,  a  filing  device,  a  labor- 
saving  office  appliance,  or  anything  of  like  nature. 

6  Write  a  letter  to  a  merchant  in  your  community  to  sell  him  ad- 
vertising space  in  your  school  magazine  or  year  book,  or  in  some 
periodical  read  by  students. 

7  Write  a  sales  letter  for  a  tailor  or  a  dressmaker. 

8  Look  over  the  advertisements  in  System  or  the  Saturday  Evening 
Post  and  select  some  article  that  you  think  could  be  sold  to  busi- 
ness men  by  letter.   Write  the  sales  letter  for  it. 


CHAPTER  II 

THE  APPEAL  TO  VARIOUS  CLASSES 

Adaptation  to  the  Reader  for  Sales  Purposes 

The  sales  letter  must  be  adapted  to  the  reader  just  as 
much  as  any  other  type  of  letter,  or  even  more.  The 
difficulty  is,  however,  that  whereas  the  ordinary  busi- 
ness letter  is  written  to  a  specific  individual,  the  sales 
letter  is  almost  always  a  form  letter,  and  therefore  must 
be  suitable  not  merely  for  one  individual  but  for  many 
individuals  of  the  same  type.  In  other  words,  it  must  be 
adapted  to  a  class  or  group.  All  people  may  be  divided 
into  groups  according  to  various  systems  of  classifica- 
tion, such  as  sex,  age,  education,  occupation,  and  the 
like.  The  groups  are  innumerable.  We  may,  however, 
study  the  characteristics  of  a  few  typical  classes,  and 
from  this  study  and  analysis  learn  how  to  adapt  a 
letter  to  any  class. 

The  first  question  the  writer  of  a  sales  letter  should 
ask  is,  "  Who  is  the  buyer  .^  "  The  second  is,  "What  is  he 
like?  "  If  he  can  answer  these  questions  from  first-hand 
experience," so  much  the  better.  Unless  he  can  at  least 
visualize  the  buyer,  he  is  not  able  to  write  an  effective 
letter  to  him.  The  writer  of  the  letter  quoted  in  the  pre- 
vious chapter  knew  station  agents  and  could  adapt  his 
message  to  them  in  such  a  way  as  to  secure  response. 
He  might  not  have  had  equal  success  with  printers, 
farmers,  or  clergymen,  unless  he  had  studied  their  class 
characteristics  and  mastered  their  language. 

273 


274  Business  English 

All  this  simply  emphasizes  the  fact  that  a  writer 
should  know  as  much  about  his  buyers  as  he  does  about 
the  article.  He  should  know  the  buyer's  needs,  his  inter- 
ests, his  class  characteristics,  especially  as  all  these  are 
related  to  the  article  he  has  to  sell. 

Letters  to  Dealers 

It  is  easy  to  see  how  a  letter  to  a  dealer  must  differ 
from  one  to  a  consumer.  The  dealer  is  interested  in  the 
article  only  as  a  means  of  gaining  profit  for  himself;  con- 
sequently his  interest  in  the  article  is  an  interest  in  its 
margin  of  profit,  salability,  service  it  renders,  or  some 
similar  characteristics.  Moreover,  competing  manufac- 
turers are  pretty  certain  to  be  writing  to  him.  A  sales 
letter,  therefore,  has  a  harder  task  in  securing  the  deal- 
er's attention. 

Frequently  it  is  necessary  to  send  him  a  large  number 
of  messages  before  any  response  can  be  secured.  A 
strong  effort  may  be  made  to  have  these  distinctive  and 
compelling  by  reason  of  their  mechanical  form  and  ap- 
pearance. They  need  not  have  so  much  of  the  personal 
quality,  since  he  recognizes  the  letter  as  a  form  letter. 
Many  times  mailing  cards  are  used  instead  of  letters, 
because  of  the  greater  possibilities  for  illustration, 
color,  and  other  forms  of  display,  and  because  their 
brevity  and  accessibility  make  them  more  likely  to  be 
read. 

These  are  only  a  few  of  the  characteristics  of  letters  to 
dealers  from  jobbers  and  manufacturers.  They  are  suf- 
ficient, however,  to  illustrate  how  the  principle  of  adap- 
tation to  the  reader  stands  above  all  other  principles. 
They  even  show  why  bright-colored  paper  and  gaudy 
letterheads,  why  slang  and  foreign  words,  ordinarily 
objectionable,  are  sometimes  permissible. 


The  Appeal  to  Various  Classes  275 

Letters  to  Business  Men  as  Consumers 

When  we  sell  to  the  business  man  some  article  for  his 
own  use,  either  in  the  office  or  in  the  home,  the  material 
of  our  message  should  be  somewhat  different  from  that 
just  described,  although  its  style  may  be  much  the  same. 
We  must  remember  that  the  business  man  is  busy,  that 
he  is  practical,  and  that  he  receives  a  great  many  com- 
munications; consequently,  the  message  to  him  should 
be  brisk  and  crisp,  with  no  waste  words.  If  the  matter 
cannot  be  compressed  into  a  single  page,  it  is  safer  to 
put  it  in  a  series  of  letters  than  to  try  to  give  it  in  one 
long  message. 

The  business  man  in  general  does  not  object  to  col- 
loquial language.  In  fact,  he  is  more  responsive  to  a  let- 
ter that  has  in  it  an  element  of  personal  talk.  It  is  advis- 
able, however,  to  avoid  an  extensive  use  of  slang.  The 
average  business  man  dislikes  pretension  or  straining  for 
effect,  although  frequently  the  journalistic  and  vivid 
appeal  to  him.  In  a  word,  a  letter  to  a  business  man 
should  be  brief,  snappy,  and  simple.  It  must  be  charac- 
teristic and  distinctive. 

The  following  is  a  good  type  of  the  letter  that  is  suc- 
cessful with  business  men: 

CAN  YOU  GET  IT 
WHEN  YOU  WANT  IT? 

Dear  Sir: 

When  you  want  a  letter,  an  order,  an  invoice,  or  any  * 

oflfice  record  you  want  it  QUICK. 

It  may  mean  a  thousand  dollars,  some  day,  to  be 
able  to  find  instantly  Brown's  quotation.  Smith's  order, 
or  the  copy  of  Jones'  letter,  for  on  this  particular  record 
may  hinge  an  important  decision. 

You  have,  perhaps,  already  installed  a  filing  system 
to  take  care  of  such  problems,  but  is  it  thoroughly 


276  Business  English 

eflBcient  —  does  it  enable  you  to  get  what  you  want 
when  you  want  it  —  INSTANTLY? 

Every  business  man  to-day  seeks  to  keep  abreast  c)f 
the  times,  and  wants  to  KNOW  the  latest  and  best 
methods  devised  to  promote  efficiency  and  save  work. 

To  meet  the  widespread  interest  in  more  efficient 
office  methods  we  have  issued  an  interesting  booklet 
covering  the  field  of  VERTICAL  FILING,  of  which 
we  have  made  a  specialty  for  many  years,  and  we  shall 
be  pleased  to  send  you  a  copy,  upon  return  of  the  pos- 
tal inclosed,  without  any  obligation  whatever  on  your 
part. 

IT  PAYS  TO  INVESTIGATE. 

Yours  truly, 

Letters  to  Professional  Men 

Professional  men,  like  business  men,  receive  a  great 
deal  of  mail  of  the  character  of  sales  letters.  One  reason 
for  this  is  the  ease  with  which  their  names  are  obtained, 
as  they  appear  in  many  directories  and  lists.  Conse- 
quently they  give  little  attention  to  any  individual  sales 
letter,  unless  they  are  specially  attracted  to  it.  Unlike 
business  men,  however,  they  have  a  general  contempt 
for  the  sensational  and  cheap,  and  will  cast  circulars 
and  mailing  cards  into  the  waste  basket.  They  must  be 
attracted,  but  it  must  be  by  means  of  the  message  in 
words.  The  difficulty  of  appealing  to  them  is  therefore 
greater  than  to  almost  any  other  class. 

The  expense  of  reaching  them,  moreover,  is  greater 
than  that  of  reaching  most  classes.  They  demand  the 
letter  be  sent  under  a  two-cent  stamp.  They  demand 
good  quality  in  the  paper,  and  conservative  and  correct 
form  in  the  letter  itself.  They  demand  a  style  that  is  dig- 
nified and  in  accordance  with  the  best  usage.  The  brisk, 
snappy  tone  and  colloquial  diction  that  are  effective 
with  the  business  man  are  dangerous  in  letters  to  prof  es- 


The  Appeal  to  Various  Classes  277 

sional  men.  All  this  means  that  the  ideas  and  state- 
ments in  letters  to  professional  men  should  be  well 
chosen,  and  conveyed  in  accordance  with  all  the  laws  of 
good  taste.  An  individually  typed  letter  is  most  desira- 
ble, but  this  is  usually  prevented  by  the  expense.  The 
cost  of  the  individually  typed  letter  is  several  times  as 
great  as  that  of  the  ordinary  multigraphed  form  letter. 
It  is  possible,  however,  to  write  the  kind  of  sales  letter 
that  will  secure  profitable  results  from  doctors,  lawyers, 
professors,  and  clergymen.  It  should  be  short,  but  not 
curt;  it  should  be  dignified,  but  not  stilted;  it  should  be 
personal,  but  not  effusive;  and  it  must  be  in  all  details 
absolutely  correct.  The  following  example  will  illus- 
trate an  effective  letter  to  professional  men  (in  this  case 
clergymen) : 

Reverend  dear  Sir: 

Have  you  seen  the  new  lighting  fixtures  in  the 
Mary  Immaculate  of  Lourdes  Church,  Newton  Upper 
Falls? 

They  are  well  worth  study,  we  assure  you,  not 
merely  from  the  standpoint  of  ecclesiastical  interior 
decoration,  but  because  they  actually  solve  some  press- 
ing problems  in  church  lighting. 

We  do  not  overstate  the  case  when  we  say  that  these 
fixtures  present  an  entirely  new  scheme  in  church  illu- 
mination, providing  inverted  mantle  type  gas  burners 
and  Tungsten  electric  lamps,  skilfully  combined  in  art 
forms  of  hand-wrought  iron. 

You  can,  of  course,  hardly  realize  the  harmony  and 
effectiveness  of  the  lighting  scheme  of  this  church 
from  a  mere  description.  And  remember  that  this  is 
but  one  of  the  many  ecclesiastical  buildings  in  which, 

under  the  direction  of  our  Mr. we 

have  installed  new,  or  improved  old,  lighting  systems. 

In  fact,  we  make  a  specialty  of  studying  present 
lighting  schemes  of  churches,  and  offering,  without  ex- 
pense or  further  obligation,  suggestions  looking  to  a 


278  Business  English 

more  artistic  and  economical  illumination.   (And  now- 
adays the  influence  of  attractive,  adequate  lighting  on 
church  attendance  is  pretty  generally  recognized.) 
Can  we  be  of  assistance  to  you  also? 

Very  truly  yours. 

Letters  to  Farmers 

People  who  live  in  the  country,  away  from  the  con- 
tinuous appeal  of  street-car  cards,  billboards,  and  other 
forms  of  advertising,  are  reached  more  easily  by  the 
sales  letter  than  city  dwellers  can  be.  Besides,  they  re- 
ceive less  mail  and  have  more  time  to  give  it  careful 
examination.  Any  one  who  has  ever  seen  the  big  mail- 
order catalogues  of  such  firms  as  Montgomery,  Ward 
&  Company,  and  Sears,  Roebuck  &  Company  must  real- 
ize instantly  that  farmers,  and  a  great  mass  of  people 
outside  of  metropolitan  centers,  are  willing  to  read  a  good 
deal  of  advertising  material.  The  farmer  wants  facts 
and  he  wants  all  of  them.  He  is  not  satisfied  to  know 
that  your  article  is  superior  to  others  in  one  single  re- 
spect. He  wants  to  know  how  it  compares  in  all  respects, 
and  he  wants  proof. 

Of  course,  the  qualities  that  appeal  to  him  most  are 
those  of  a  practical,  common-sense  nature.  Utility  is  the 
most  important  consideration.  Material  is  more  import- 
ant than  fit;  durability  than  style.  If  he  can  have  style 
in  addition,  so  much  the  better,  but  it  is  the  practical 
side  that  appeals  to  him  first.  From  this  general  princi- 
ple it  may  readily  be  seen  that  the  price  element  always 
enters.  The  bargain  instinct  common  to  all  people  is 
pronounced  in  the  farmer.  The  device  which  depart- 
ment stores  are  continually  using  to  attract  buyers  — 
that  of  a  price  in  odd  figures,  like  $3.98  and  $2.47  — 
is  useful  with  him.  In  this  matter,  as  in  others,  he  likes 
exactness. 


The  Appeal  to  Various  Classes  279 

The  language  and  style  may  be  similar  to  that  used  for 
the  business  man,  with  the  exception  that  it  should  not 
be  too  crisp.  It  should  be  simple,  direct,  and  colloquial. 
If  it  is  possible  to  use  a  few  homely  expressions  that 
smack  of  the  soil,  and  allusions  that  touch  upon  his  own 
experience,  so  much  the  better.  Of  course,  these  expres- 
sions and  allusions  must  be  free  from  any  suggestion  of 
strain.  They  must  be  simple  and  natural,  and  this 
demands  some  familiarity  with  the  farmer's  life. 

The  following  example  will  illustrate  a  good  appeal  to 
farmers.  (The  same  letter  is  also  used  to  other  classes 
of  mail-order  buyers,  but,  of  course,  the  majority  of  these 
live  in  small  towns  or  rural  communities.)  >4  /^ 

Dear  Sir: 

Your  request  for  our  new  catalogue  has  just  come  to 
my  desk  —  I  will  have  the  book  mailed  to  you  to-day. 
I  am  glad  you  have  asked  for  this  catalogue,  because  we 
want  your  business,  and  because  we  can  offer  you  an 
opportunity  to  save  one- third  on  every  purchase  you 
make  Direct  from  our  Workshop.  You  can  buy  as 
much  for  $2  as  the  retailer  can  give  you  for  $3. 

Before  you  refer  to  the  pictures  and  prices  I  wish  you 
would  read  the  testimonials  on  the  inside  of  the  back 
cover,  also  read  what  we  say  on  the  first  page.  The 
first  page  will  tell  you  exactly  how  we  do  business  and 
how  we  absolutely  protect  you.  Then  turn  to  the  pages 
where  the  goods  are  pictured,  and  I'm  sure  you  will 
find  many  things  that  will  interest  you  —  many  things 
that  will  make  delightful  gifts  for  your  friends. 

First  of  all  I  want  you  to  feel  that  we  are  determined 
to  please  and  to  satisfy  you  —  we  absolutely  guarantee 
satisfaction  to  every  person  who  sends  us  an  order. 
This  purpose  has  been  thoroughly  instilled  into  every 
employee,  and  if  you  experience  the  slightest  disap- 
pointment in  your  dealings  with  us,  I  want  you  to  write 

me  personally  and  promptly.  It  is  the  policy  of 

that  not  one  person  shall  have  cause  for  com- 


280  Business  English 

plaint,  and  I  make  it  my  especial  business  to  see  that 
no  cause  exists. 

We  want  your  patronage  and  that  of  your  friends, 
not  only  now  but  for  years  to  come,  and  if  you  will  send 
us  a  trial  order  I  promise  that  we  shall  strive  to  please 
you  so  fully  that  you  will  become  a  regular  customer 
and  loyal  friend.  Again,  when  you  receive  the  goods 
if  you  are  not  perfectly  satisfied,  return  the  package, 
and  I  will  see  that  the  full  amount  of  your  remittance  is 
returned  to  you. 

You  will  find  instructions  for  ordering  on  the  inside 
of  the  front  cover;  you  will  find  order  blanks  in  the 
back  of  the  book,  and  an  addressed  envelope  and  ring 
size  card  with  this  letter. 

Yours  very  truly. 

Letters  to  Women 

Sales  letters  to  women  diflfer  somewhat  from  letters  to 
men.  Women,  as  a  rule,  receive  less  mail  than  men,  and 
they  are  less  accustomed  to  business  matters.  For  that 
reason,  the  letters  may  be  longer  and  may  have  a  closer 
resemblance  to  social  letters. 

The  appearance  of  the  letter  itself  is  frequently  made 
to  resemble  that  of  the  social  letter.  The  square  baron- 
ial envelope  is  often  effectively  used,  with  the  return  ad- 
dress on  the  back  flap  instead  of  in  the  upper  left-hand 
corner.  A  pen-written  address  often  produces  a  good 
effect.  Sometimes  the  whole  letter  is  either  pen- written 
or  a  facsimile  of  pen-written  work. 

These  mechanical  devices,  however,  are  less  import- 
ant in  the  securing  of  the  personal  element  than  the  tone 
and  style  itself.  Here  it  is  essential  that  there  be  abso- 
lute courtesy  and  deference  to  the  woman's  point  of 
view.  Logical  arguments  should  usually  be  subordi- 
nated to  the  arousing  of  desire.  Where  argument  is 
used,  it  should  be  persuasive,  never  combative. 


The  Appeal  to  Various  Classes  281 

The  nature  of  the  talking  points  depends  upon  the 
social  position  and  degree  of  wealth  of  the  woman.  The 
bargain  appeal  is  generally  useful,  and  it  is  usually  found 
wise  to  emphasize  style  and  quality,  rather  than  mere 
durability.  In  the  case  of  women  of  the  so-called  upper 
classes,  the  element  of  exclusiveness  is  extremely  import- 
ant. Evidence  in  the  form  of  facts  and  figures  has  little 
appeal.  The  testimony  of  prominent  persons  is  more 
effective,  because  most  women  are  influenced  by  what 
others  are  doing.  If  tests  are  used,  they  must  be  sim- 
ple and  easily  performed.   Guarantees  are  always  good. 

The  language  should  be  correct  and  even  precise,  with 
no  colloquialisms  or  slang.  Long  words,  especially  those 
with  a  refined  or  literary  flavor,  or  those  which  come 
from  the  French,  frequently  help  to  give  the  right  at- 
mosphere. They  should  be  used  with  care,  however,  and 
should  usually  be  confined  to  letters  to  women  in  the 
city.  Even  with  women  in  the  country,  however,  such 
words  as  "charming,"  "fascinating,"  and  the  like  are 
effective. 

The  close  of  a  letter  to  a  woman  should  show  simply 
and  clearly  just  what  she  is  to  do.  It  should  give  unmis- 
takable directions  for  ordering,  and  should  impress  upon 
her  mind  forcibly  that  if  for  any  reason  she  is  not  satis- 
fied she  can  get  her  money  back  or  obtain  a  satisfac- 
tory adjustment.  Firms  that  have  been  most  successful 
in  dealing  with  women  have  relied  to  a  large  extent  upon 
the  "satisfaction  guaranteed"  policy. 

The  following  letter  illustrates  a  successful  appeal  to 
women : 

Dear  Madam: 

You  are  invited  to  attend  a  Private  Sale  of  the  stock 
of  our  Lingerie  Shop,  which  was  damaged  by  fire  on  the 
night  of  December  7th.   This  Sale  will  be  held  in  the 


282  Business  English 

Hall  and  Parlors  of  the  Trocadero,  commencing  Janu- 
ary 1st,  at  10  A.M.  and  continuing  the  remainder  of  the 
week.  Entrance  may  be  had  either  through  our  Art 
Department  or  from  Mathewson  Street. 

The  stock,  consisting  of  high-class  French  and  Do- 
mestic Underwear,  Corsets,  and  accessories  of  all  kinds, 
Infants'  Wear  of  every  description,  Silk  Petticoats, 
etc.,  was  only  partially  damaged  by  smoke  and  water; 
in  fact,  most  of  it  is  in  perfect  condition.  However, 
as  we  desire  to  open  our  New  Lingerie  Department 
with  complete  assortments  of  new  goods,  we  have  de- 
cided to  close  out  everything  that  was  in  the  Lingerie 
Shop  at  the  time  of  the  fire,  at  greatly  reduced  prices. 

We  send  you  this  special  notice  as  we  feel  that  our 
regular  customers  should  have  the  opportunity  to 
secure  first  choice  of  the  bargains  offered  at  such  an 
unusual  sale  as  this. 

We  hope  that  you  will  be  able  to  attend  the  sale. 
Yours  very  truly. 

We  also  wish  to  notify  you  that  our  annual  January 
White  Sale  of  Linens,  Wash  Goods,  and  Embroideries, 
and  our  Clearance  Sale  of  Suits  and  Garments  will 
commence  at  the  same  time  —  Tuesday,  January  1st. 

Much  space  might  be  devoted  to  the  analysis  of  other 
classes  of  people  and  a  statement  of  the  principles  of 
the  sales  letters  that  would  appeal  to  them.  The  classes 
discussed,  however,  will  serve  as  typical  examples. 

Exercises 

1  The  following  letter  was  sent  out  to  selected  lists  of  prominent 
women  in  small  towns  of  the  Middle  West.  Point  out  its  faults 
and  write  a  better  letter  to  take  its  place. 

Mrs.  F.  B.  Clark, 

Ottumwa,  Iowa. 
Dear  Madam: 

You  know  how  difficult  it  is  to  fry  meat  by  artificial 
light,  and  get  it  browned  "just  so."  The  kitchen  light 
is  usually  way  back  in  the  center  of  the  room,  and  the 
cook  is  constantly  getting  in  her  own  light. 


The  Appeal  to  Various  Classes  283 

The  Handy  Light  can  be  placed  right  over  the  top  of 
the  stove  and  every  bit  of  the  light  thrown  down  upon 
the  cooking.  Everything  will  be  light  as  day,  no  more 
need  for  burned  or  underdone  meat. 

By  a  little  ingenuity,  the  Handy  Light  can  be  hung 
so  as  to  light  up  the  top  surface  of  any  kitchen  stove, 
no  matter  what  kind  or  how  arranged.  My  wife  always 
hangs  it  over  a  high-back  chair  as  in  Position  "A." 
(See  circular.)  If  the  light  tilts  down  too  much,  a  hand- 
kerchief or  dish  cloth  placed  inside  the  curved  base  will 
hold  it  up  in  the  proper  position. 

Try  the  Handy  Light  way  of  preparing  supper  to- 
night. 

If  you  have  any  men-folks  who  shave  themselves, 
have  them  try  the  Handy  Light  over  the  mirror. 

For  playing  the  piano  at  night,  the  Handy  Light 
cannot  be  excelled.  Place  it  over  the  back  of  a  chair  or 
rocker  as  suggested  for  use  at  the  kitchen  stove. 

For  sewing  at  night,  reading,  or  studying,  the  Handy 
Light  concentrates  every  bit  of  the  light  on  your  work, 
and  at  the  same  time  keeps  it  out  of  your  eyes.  The 
same  amount  of  work  can  be  accomplished  in  much 
less  time,  and  with  half  the  fatigue. 

I  will  not  enumerate  further.  After  you  have  owned  »  ) 
a  Handy  Light  for  a  week  or  two,  hundreds  of  ways  to 
use  it  will  have  suggested  themselves. 

Do  you  not  think  it  is  a  Handy  Light? 

Yours  respectfully, 

2  Publishers  of  a  dictionary  of  poetical  and  prose  quotations  have 
decided  to  send  out  letters  to  three  classes  of  people :  professors 
of  English  in  Universities,  clergymen,  and  officers  of  women's 
clubs.  Write  the  letter  to  clergymen  and  explain  how  the  letters 
to  the  other  two  classes  should  differ  from  it. 

3  Assume  that  you  are  the  business  manager  of  your  school  year 
book  or  monthly  magazine.  Write  a  letter  selling  advertising 
space  in  it  to  merchants  of  your  town. 

4  Publishers  of  a  historical  atlas  retailing  at  $3  decide  to  send  let- 
ters about  it  to  business  men,  to  teachers,  and  to  lawyers.  Write 
the  letter  to  teachers  and  explain  how  the  other  letters  should 
differ  from  it. 


CHAPTER  m 
FOLLOW-UP   LETTERS 

Purpose  and  Plan  of  Follow-up 

In  previous  chapters,  the  sales  letter  has  been  treated 
as  if  a  single  letter  were  intended  to  accomplish  the 
whole  purpose  of  making  the  sales  appeal  and  securing 
a  response.  This  is  not  always  the  case.  A  single  letter 
cannot  usually  be  made  long  enough  to  present  all  the 
talking  points  and  arguments  for  an  article.  This  is  par- 
ticularly true  in  the  case  of  letters  to  business  men. 

Even  in  the  case  of  such  classes  as  will  read  long  let- 
ters, it  may  not  be  possible  to  accomplish  everything  by 
one  letter.  A  long  process  of  education  may  be  de- 
manded before  the  reader  can  see  that  it  is  to  his  advan- 
tage to  purchase.  Again,  there  is  a  universal  tendency 
upon  the  part  of  all  people  to  delay  action,  and  the  effect 
of  repetition  may  be  necessary  before  they  will  send  in 
their  orders. 

These  are  only  a  few  of  the  reasons  which  have  given 
rise  to  the  development  of  follow-up  systems.  The  pur- 
pose of  the  follow-up  system  is  to  educate  readers  to  the 
advantage  of  purchasing  an  article,  or  to  bring  forth  new 
sales  arguments,  or  to  repeat  old  ones  in  a  new  way.  In 
any  case,  it  is  to  secure  the  effect  of  a  sales  appeal  by 
means  of  a  series  of  messages.  Follow-up  letters  are  also 
used  to  prepare  prospects  for  the  visit  of  a  personal  sales- 
man, and  to  co-operate  with  customers  between  visits  of 
salesmen.  They  are  sometimes  used  to  build  up  a  feeling 

284 


Follow-up  Letters  285 

of  good  will  toward  the  sender,  so  that  sometime  when 
conditions  are  favorable  the  reader  may  become  a  cus- 
tomer. 

Follow-up  systems  differ  greatly  in  length  and  in  char- 
acter. Some  systems  consist  of  only  two  or  three  letters, 
others  have  as  many  as  twenty  or  even  more.  It  is  im- 
possible to  set  down  any  definite  limitations  for  them. 
We  can,  however,  distinguish  between  the  main  types 
of  follow-up  systems  and  their  usefulness  for  different 
purposes. 

The  general  rule  may  be  stated,  that  the  follow-up"^" 
plan  as  a  whole  is  more  important  than  the  construction 
and  style  of  any  individual  letter.  Various  factors  must 
be  taken  into  account  in  determining  the  length,  charac- 
ter, and  cost  of  the  system.  The  most  important  factors 
are  the  following: 

1  The  Nature  of  the  Proposition. 

If  the  article  to  be  sold  belongs  to  a  class  with  which  the 
reader  is  already  familiar,  a  short  series  of  follow-up  letters  is 
usually  enough.  If  it  is  comparatively  new  and  unknown  to 
the  readers,  a  long  series  would  probably  be  desirable,  so  that 
the  readers  may  be  educated  to  a  point  where  they  will  realize 
their  need  for  it.  Thus,  a  typewriter  would  not  require  so  long 
a  series  as  a  dictaphone. 

2  The  Cost  of  the  Article. 

A  high-priced  article  would  ordinarily  require  a  longer  series 
than  a  low-priced  article,  because  it  is  easier  to  persuade  a 
person  to  make  a  small  expenditure  than  a  large  one.  Thus, 
a  fireproof  safe  would  require  a  longer  series  than  a  safety 
deposit  box. 

3  The  Margin  of  Profit. 

Since  the  cost  of  a  single  form  letter  averages  about  4  (j^  and 
the  percentage  of  orders  to  the  number  of  letters  sent  is  usu- 
ally not  more   than  5%,  an  article  on  which  the  profit  is 


286  Business  English 

small  would  not  justify  a  long  series.  On  the  other  hand,  such 
a  series  might  be  very  profitable  on  an  article  on  which  there 
is  a  large  margin  of  profit.  Thus,  a  single  book  would  not 
justify  a  long  series;  whereas,  a  correspondence  course  would. 

4  The  Class  of  Prospects  and  the  Source  from  which 

Obtained. 

If  the  list  to  which  a  letter  is  sent  is  composed  only  of  people 
who  are  likely  prospects  for  the  article,  a  long  series  may  be 
justified;  whereas,  in  the  case  of  a  list  of  people  who  are  not 
known  to  be  in  the  market  for  the  article,  a  long  series  would 
not  pay.  Thus,  a  list  of  names  obtained  from  advertising  is 
deserving  of  a  longer  follow-up  than  a  list  selected  from  direc- 
tories or  from  other  similar  sources. 

5  General  Purpose  to  be  Accomplished. 

The  above  factors  should  be  considered  particularly  in  re- 
ference to  the  length  of  the  system.  Upon  the  purpose  of  the 
system  depends  its  character.  If  its  purpose  is  to  get  all  the 
possible  orders  within  a  short  time,  then  the  "campaign "  sys- 
tem would  be  used.  If  it  is  to  exhaust  the  possibilities  of  a 
list  without  reference  to  length  of  time,  then  the  "wear-out" 
system  would  be  used.  If  it  is  to  keep  the  readers  constantly 
in  touch  with  the  sender  and  ultimately  to  make  them  cus- 
tomers, then  the  "continuous"  system  would  be  used.  These 
systems  will  be  further  explained  later. 

Types  of  Follow-up  Systems 

The  simplest  of  all  follow-up  systems  is  the  "cam- 
paign," in  which  a  number  of  letters  is  definitely  decided 
upon  in  advance,  and  each  letter  has  a  distinct  part  of  the 
work  to  do.  Usually,  they  are  all  written  before  the  first 
is  sent  out.  One  is  expected  to  get  the  attention  of  the 
reader  and  arouse  his  desire;  another  may  attempt  to 
give  him  convincing  evidence;  another  may  be  concen- 
trated upon  the  task  of  getting  his  response.  As  men- 
tioned above,  such  a  system  would  be  used  only  when 
the  time  element  enters  —  as  for  example,  when  a  mag- 


Follow-up  Letters  287 

azine  is  attempting  to  get  advertising  for  some  special 
issue  and  the  forms  close  on  a  certain  date.  In  this  case, 
this  campaign  would  be  climactic  in  effect,  with  a  view 
to  getting  all  the  responses  before  a  certain  time. 

Similarly,  a  campaign  might  be  used  in  connection  with 
the  pre-publication  offer  of  a  low  price  on  some  encyclo- 
pedia or  other  expensive  set  of  books.  A  campaign  might 
be  used  with  dealers  in  order  to  get  them  to  stock  up  with 
a  certain  article  prior  to  the  general  advertising  of  this 
article  in  publications.  Here  again,  the  time  element 
would  be  important,  because  the  goods  must  be  on  the 
dealers'  shelves  by  the  time  the  first  advertisements 
appear. 

A  campaign  system  usually  does  not  have  more  than 
five  letters,  and  the  length  of  time  between  them  is 
usually  not  more  than  a  week  or  ten  days.  The  import- 
ant thing  to  remember  about  them  is,  that  although 
each  one  is  complete  in  itself,  they  are  linked  together 
and  depend  upon  one  another  for  their  strongest  effect. 
For  this  reason,  it  is  possible  in  each  one  to  make  refer- 
ence to  the  previous  letter  or  letters  and  to  sum  up  the 
arguments  which  these  contain. 

The  following  example  suflSciently  illustrates  the 
follow-up  letter  which  is  part  of  the  campaign: 

Dear  Sir: 

When  we  sent  you  our  catalogue  a  week  or  so  ago 
there  was  so  much  that  was  new  and  interesting  we 
hardly  had  room  to  tell  it  all  in  one  letter,  neither  can 
we  expect  you  to  realize  all  the  advantages  of  "Come- 
Packt"  sectional  furniture  on  first  thought. 

Because  our  plan  saves  you  nearly  two-thirds  the 
cost,  don't  get  the  idea  that  there  is  anything  cheap 
about  our  goods.  We  make  a  profit  on  every  sale 
(about  the  same  that  the  ordinary  manufacturer 
makes  when  selling  to  the  jobber)  —  BUT  there's  just 


288  Business  English 

that  ONE  profit;  you  pay  not  a  cent  for  commissions, 
wages,  rents,  etc.,  NOT  ONE  PENNY  FOR  THE 
THINGS  THAT  ADD  ONLY  TO  COST  and  not  to 
the  value  of  the  furniture.  We  make  a  specialty  of  this 
one  kind  of  furniture;  we  are  equipped  to  make  it  as 
economically  as  possible  —  this  saves  money  for  both 
of  us.  We  KNOW  that  you  can't  get  better  furniture, 
no  matter  what  you  pay. 

Look  at  the  grain  and  beautiful  flake  in  the  wood  we 
use.  Not  plain  sawed  oak,  which  is  cheapest;  not  red 
oak,  which  is  most  commonly  used  —  nothing  but 
QUARTER  SAWED  WHITE  OAK;  it  is  so  hand- 
some, even  before  staining,  that  one  man  writes  me, 
"he  hates  to  touch  it."  I  wrote  him,  of  course,  that  our 
stains  would  BRING  OUT  the  exquisite  flake,  the  deli- 
cate grain,  and  add  a  lustrous  finish  to  the  furniture.  If 
you  could  see  some  of  the  wood  used  in  common  fac- 
tory furniture,  before  it  is  doctored  up,  there  would  be 
no  need  of  explanations. 

"Come-Packt"  sectional  furniture  is  honest  all 
through  —  no  chance  for  us  to  conceal  defects  or  patch 
up  flaws  —  no  chance  to  disguise  chestnut  and  other 
cheap  woods  to  "look  like  oak,"  as  can  be  done  with 
finished  furniture  that  you  get  at  the  store.  When  (by 
paying  the  price)  you  do  get  genuine  oak,  it  may  be  red 
oak  —  it  may  be  plain  oak,  but  it  is  rarely  Quarter 
Sawed  WHITE  Oak,  such  as  we  use  exclusively. 

As  to  "Come-Packt"  prices,  they  speak  for  them- 
selves. We  have  put  up  the  strongest  possible  guaran- 
tee on  our  goods  and  we  repeat  —  if  you  are  not  per- 
fectly satisfied  with  what  we  ship  to  you,  we  will  refund 
your  money  and  freight  charges.  We  are  expecting  to 
hear  from  you  almost  any  day. 

Very  truly  yours, 
The  Colonial  Manufacturing  Company, 
J.  Blank,  President 

The  Wear-out  System 

The  "wear-out"  system,  as  its  name  implies,  depends 
,    upon  sheer  force  and  persistence.    Instead  of  dividing 


Follow-up  Letters  289 

the  task  of  making  a  complete  appeal  and  assigning  part 
of  it  to  each  one  of  the  series,  it  makes  a  complete  appeal 
each  time  and  tries  to  secure  the  order.  The  difference 
in  the  letters  is  in  the  approach  from  different  angles. 
For  instance,  in  selling  a  set  of  reference  books,  one  let- 
ter may  make  its  approach  through  the  parental  instinct; 
another  may  depend  upon  the  desire  for  an  up-to-date 
library;  another  may  point  out  business  usefulness, 
and  so  on.  Frequently,  the  letters  are  entirely  different 
in  style  and  are  even  written  by  different  persons.  Each 
letter  stands  alone  and  is  judged  by  its  individual 
results. 

This  type  of  system  is  frequently  useful  for  following 
up  inquiries  received  through  advertising,  and  seems  to 
work  particularly  well  for  sets  of  books  and  correspond- 
ence courses.  Unlike  the  campaign,  it  often  gets  its  best 
results  from  the  first  letter.  On  the  other  hand,  it  some- 
times happens  that  a  letter  sent  months  or  even  a  year 
later  will  produce  profitable  results,  even  though  re- 
sponses to  previous  letters  may  have  been  so  few  as  to 
indicate  that  the  list  was  practically  exhausted  — 
worn-out. 

Each  of  the  letters  in  a  wear-out  system  is  usually 
long.  The  writer  takes  it  for  granted  that  interest  in  the 
proposition  is  great  enough  to  make  the  receiver  wade 
through  a  long  letter.  Moreover,  the  sales  appeal  must 
be  complete.  It  is  a  common  thing  to  find  a  letter  of 
three  or  more  pages  that  makes  no  reference  to  preced- 
ing letters  and  gives  the  impression  that  it  is  the  last 
letter  to  be  sent.  Inasmuch  as  this  type  of  letter  does 
not  differ  essentially  from  the  single  sales  letter,  it  is 
unnecessary  to  illustrate  it. 

Sometimes  after  a  campaign  system  is  finished,  a 
wear-out  system  is  used. 


290  Business  English 

Continuous  System 

The  "  continuous  "  system  is  elastic  in  character  and 
adapted  to  many  different  uses.  In  general,  its  aim  is 
rather  to  build  up  good  will  that  may  lead  to  a  sale  than 
to  force  a  sale  directly.  It  arouses  interest  and  confi- 
dence in  the  proposition.  It  keeps  the  reader  in  close 
touch  with  the  writer  for  a  considerable  period  of  time. 
The  continuous  system  is  especially  useful  for  real  estate 
and  transportation  companies,  and  others  where  sales  are 
made  infrequently,  but  when  made  lead  to  a  considerable 
amount  of  business  and  profit.  It  is  also  useful  for 
professional  firms  whose  dignity  prevents  them  from 
making  a  direct  solicitation  of  business. 

The  continuous  system  is  sometimes  made  necessary 
by  the  character  of  the  prospects.  High  executives,  men 
of  wealth  and  education,  and  professional  men  generally, 
are  more  likely  to  respond  to  this  suggestive,  subtle 
method  of  appeal  than  to  the  direct  efforts  of  the  cam- 
paign or  wear-out  systems.  Naturally,  however,  it 
would  not  be  used  except  in  cases  where  profit  on  busi- 
ness finally  secured  is  great  enough  to  warrant  a  consid- 
erable expenditure,  for  the  percentage  of  replies  on  an 
individual  letter  is  low  and  the  number  of  letters  re- 
quired is  sometimes  very  great. 

The  letters  themselves  have  much  less  of  the  sales  let- 
ter character  than  any  of  those  previously  mentioned. 
They  must  be  interesting  and  brief.  Frequently  they 
are  chatty  and  informal,  like  personal  talk.  There  is  no 
necessary  connection  between  the  different  members  of 
the  series,  but  it  is  often  wise  to  number  them  or  use  a 
color  of  paper  or  distinctive  type  of  letterhead  that  gives 
the  series  continuity  or  uniformity.  Occasionally,  it  is 
possible  to  make  them  timely  by  referring  to  events  of 
current  interest. 


Follow-up  Letters  291 

The  following  example  will  illustrate  the  type  of  letter 
used  in  the  continuous  series.  This  is  one  of  a  series  of 
about  fifteen  that  were  sent  by  a  leading  woman's  mag- 
azine to  automobile  manufacturers. 

Christopher  Columbus:  Salesman  p 

One  of  the  most  desperate  ventures  in  all  history 
owed  its  success  to  good  sound  salesmanship. 

Christopher  Columbus  persuaded  the  close-fisted 
King  of  Spain  to  buy  ships  to  embark  on  what  scien- 
tific men  of  the  period  contemptuously  termed  "a 
fantastic  tragedy." 

How  did  Columbus  do  it.^^ 

Not  by  going  to  the  King  direct,  not  by  speaking  as 
man  to  man,  but  by  getting  Queen  Isabella  on  his  side 
before  he  went  to  the  King! 

Four  hundred  and  nineteen  years  have  gone  since 
the  Queen  of  Spain  mortgaged  her  crown  jewels  to  help 
pay  for  the  "Santa  Maria."  Yet  no  sounder  principle 
of  salesmanship  has  been  discovered  than  the  one  used 
by  Columbus. 

When  you  are  considering  your  own  sales  problems 
bear  in  mind  that: 

"It  pays  to  get  the  Queen  on  your  side  before  you  go 
to  the  King." 

Very  truly  yours, 

Henry  T.  Barrett, 
Advertising  Manager 

You  know  the  men  who  wrote  the  letters  reproduced 
in  the  inclosed  folder. 

The  Last  Appeal 

Sometimes  after  a  fairly  long  series,  a  letter  is  used  as 
a  final  appeal  to  bring  responses  from  those  who  have 
been  somewhat  interested  but  have  never  sent  in  an 
order.  The  nature  of  the  appeal  varies  widely,  but  one 
quality  is  essential  —  it  must  be  intensely  personal. 
The  writer  can  safely  assume  that  by  this  time  he  has  a 


292  Business  English 

mt^asure  of  acquaintanceship  with  the  reader  and  he 
need  not  be  formal  or  ceremonious. 

Ordinarily  he  makes  his  best  possible  offer  as  to  sam- 
ples and  trials.  He  also  uses  every  possible  device  to 
stimulate  and  facilitate  response. 

The  following  is  a  successful  example  of  such  a  letter: 

Dear  Sir: 

If  you  aren't  too  busy,  "suppose"  with  me  for  three 
minutes.  If  you  can't  do  it  now,  shove  this  back  on 
your  desk  until  you  can. 

Suppose  first,  a  new  family  moved  into  your  com- 
munity —  a  family  that  you  knew  would  be  desirable 
customers,  a  family  whose  trade  you  knew  you  could 
hold,  once  you  got  it  started. 

Suppose  next  you  met  the  head  of  that  family,  and 
as  courteously  and  tactfully  as  you  could  you  spoke  of 
your  store,  your  goods,  and  your  desire  to  show  him 
that  you  deserved  his  business.  And  —  he  turned  on 
his  heel  without  a  word  to  you. 

Suppose  again  you  met  him,  and  again  you  tried  to 
show  him  from  another  angle  that  it  would  be  to  his 
profit  as  well  as  yours,  to  trade  with  you.  And  —  again 
he  refused  to  even  answer. 

Suppose  now,  you  repeated  your  requests  on  a  dozen 
different  occasions  and  each  time  he  bottled  up  like  a 
clam  —  couldn't  get  a  word  out  of  him. 

I'll  bet  you'd  be  "hoppin'  mad."  Well,  in  a  way, 
you're  him,  and  I'm  you.  I've  written  you  a  dozen  or 
more  letters  and  each  time,  so  to  speak,  you've  spun  on 
your  heel  without  even  an  answer.  BUT,  here's  the 
difference,  I'm  not  a  bit  mad,  but  I'm  mighty  curious. 

I've  searched  our  proposition  over  from  A  to  Izzard, 
trying  to  find  out  where  it  has  fallen  down  in  your  eyes 
—  why  it  has  failed  you. 

Within  the  last  six  months,  682  first-class  merchants 
have  ordered  from  us  for  the  first  time.  If  every  single 
one  of  them  isn't  thoroughly  satisfied,  I  don't  know  it, 
and  a  kick  into  this  office  hits  me  first. 

I'm  mighty  curious  to  know  why  we  haven't  had  a 


Follow-up  Letters  293 

trial  order  from  you.  There  is  an  order  card  attached. 
Ask  your  glove  girl  what  she  needs,  and  let  us  supply 
you.  That  would  put  us  on  trial. 

Or  write  me  where  the  hitch  comes  in  that  is  keeping 
your  house  and  ours  apart.  At  any  rate,  please  don't 
turn  on  your  heel.  Thank  you ! 

Cordially  yours, 

Exercises  JJ)^  /-. 

1  If  you  were  Advertising  Manager  of  a  high  school  year  book,  what 
type  of  follow-up  system  would  you  use  in  getting  advertisements 
from  local  merchants  .^^  Why.^  Outline  a  system  of  follow-up  let- 
ters for  this  purpose  and  write  one  of  the  series. 

2  If  you  were  Advertising  Manager  of  a  standard  magazine,  what 
type  of  follow-up  would  you  use  in  selling  space  to  national 
advertisers.'^   Write  one  of  the  letters. 

3  What  type  of  follow-up  system  would  you  use  in  selling  stoves.^ 
Porch  furniture .f^  Plows.?  Encyclopedias.'^  Automobiles .^^  Give 
reasons  in  each  case. 

4  If  you  were  proprietor  of  a  company  that  produced  multigraphed 
letters  and  other  material  for  mail-order  selling,  what  type  of 
follow-up  system  would  you  use?   Write  one  of  the  letters. 

5  Assume  that  you  are  proprietor  of  a  printing  concern  in  a  small 
town  where  rents  and  other  expenses  are  low.  Outline  a  follow- 
up  system  to  secure  business  from  corporations  in  large  cities. 

6  Write  the  final  letter  in  the  series. 


CHAPTER  IV     . 
ADVERTISING    COPY 

Relation  to  Sales  Letters 

Advertisements  have  much  the  same  purpose  as 
sales  letters  and  are  constructed  according  to  many  of 
the  same  principles.  There  are  important  diflerences, 
however,  which  influence  the  methods  of  writing  adver- 
tising copy. 

In  the  first  place,  advertisements  are  public,  rather 
than  private,  messages.  They  do  not  come  to  a  man  in 
an  envelope  bearing  his  name.  They  are  placed  on  bill- 
boards for  the  world  to  see,  or  in  publications  that  go  to 
a  wide  range  of  people  —  sometimes  as  many  as  two 
million.  Consequently,  they  cannot  have  the  same  de- 
gree of  personality  and  intimacy  that  is  possible  in  the 
sales  letter. 

In  the  second  place,  the  readers  are  not  selected  by 
the  writer  in  advance.  He  cannot  pick  out  a  list  of  peo- 
ple who  are  likely  to  become  buyers  and  send  his  mes- 
sages to  them,  as  the  writers  of  sales  letters  can.  His 
advertisements  must  do  the  work  of  selection;  must  at- 
tract the  right  readers.  They  must  do  this  quickly,  for 
the  advertisement  gets  but  a  hasty  glance  from  the 
average  person,  and  unless  it  attracts  immediately  it 
will  not  be  read. 

Finally,  advertisements  are  not  isolated.  They  have 
to  compete  with  other  attractions,  such  as  the  scenery 
behind  the  billboard,  the  persons  in  the  street  car  and 

294 


Advertising  Copy  295 

the  street  outside,  the  news,  stories,  and  articles  in  the 
newspapers  and  magazines.  Usually  they  have  to  com- 
pete also  with  other  advertisements  that  are  likewise 
trying  to  attract  the  reader. 

All  these  things  mean  that  attracting  attention  is  a 
more  important  function  of  the  advertisement  than  of 
the  sales  letter.  Fortunately  there  are  various  devices 
possible  to  accomplish  this  task,  such  as  pictures,  color, 
size,  display  type,  and  the  like.  The  copy  itself,  or  the 
message  in  words,  may  be  more  sensational,  more  vivid, 
more  distinctive. 

These  differences  also  indicate  that  there  is  less  possi- 
bility of  individual  adjustment  to  the  reader  than  in 
other  types  of  business  English.  The  adjustment  is  like 
that  of  the  public  speaker  rather  than  that  of  the  sales- 
man. The  message  must  appeal  to  the  average  reader 
who  is  a  prospective  buyer. 

Advertising  copy,  like  sales  letters,  should  take  the 
''you  attitude."  It  should  be  written  from  the  stand- 
point of  the  reader  and  have  the  same  motto  as  the 
sales  letter,  readers  first.  It  should  be  written  in  lan- 
guage that  is  understood  by  the  average  person.  The 
advertiser's  name  should  not  usually  be  at  the  top  nor 
should  his  interest  be  overemphasized.  The  things  that 
are  closest  to  the  reader's  needs  and  interests  should  be 
put  forward  prominently  to  make  the  right  point  of  con- 
tact. An  advertisement,  like  any  other  kind  of  business 
English,  is  a  message,  not  a  mere  announcement. 

Classified  Advertisements 

Before  the  application  of  these  general  principles  can 
be  discussed,  it  is  necessary  to  separate  advertisements 
into  their  more  important  kinds  and  consider  them  sep- 
arately. 


296  Business  English 

The  classified  advertisement  is  usually  in  small  type 
and  gathered  with  many  others  similar  in  character  in 
one  section  of  the  paper.  For  instance,  nearly  every 
newspaper  has  its  "Help  Wanted,"  and  ''Lost  and 
Found"  columns,  and  the  like.  A  classified  advertise- 
ment is  merely  to  give  such  information  as  will  secure 
the  right  responses.  The  object  is  not  to  get  the  largest 
possible  number  of  responses. 

In  writing  such  an  advertisement,  therefore,  it  is  only 
necessary  to  see  that  it  be  clear  in  its  sense  and  simple 
in  its  language.  It  need  not  be  made  especially  attrac- 
tive, because  the  right  person  will  know  where  to  look 
for  it  and  will  find  it.  It  should,  however,  have  some 
individuality. 

Publicity  Advertising 

There  is  another  type  of  advertising  in  which  the  prob- 
lem of  copy  is  simple.  That  is  the  type  known  as  public- 
ity advertising,  which  serves  merely  as  a  reminder  of  the 
name,  trade  mark,  or  use  of  the  product.  It  assumes  that 
an  appeal  has  already  been  made,  or  is  to  be  made,  that 
arouses  desire  and  confidence.  The  publicity  advertise- 
ment is  merely  a  supplement.  Most  electric  displays 
and  billboards,  and  many  car  cards  are  of  this  type. 

The  message  in  words  is  a  comparatively  unimportant 
matter.  The  point  is  to  give  a  quick,  strong  impression, 
for  which  purpose  illustrations,  color,  and  other  mechani- 
cal devices  are  most  effective.  If  copy  is  used,  it  is  most 
frequently  a  slogan  or  a  characteristic  statement  identi- 
fied with  the  article.  For  this  reason,  publicity  adver- 
tising needs  little  consideration  here.  The  following 
sections  will  deal  with  general  advertising  (sometimes 
called  display  advertising),  which  does  attempt  to 
make  a  sales  appeal  by  means  of  words. 


Advertising  Copy  297 

Display  Advertising 

Most  advertisements  in  newspapers,  magazines,  and 
other  periodicals  are  display  advertisements  intended  to 
make  sales.  They  should  be  constructed  along  the  gen- 
eral lines  of  a  sales  appeal,  as  shown  in  the  chapters  on 
sales  letters.  In  the  case  of  mail-order  and  inquiry- 
getting  advertisements,  they  should  follow  these  lines 
closely. 

There  is  the  difference,  mentioned  above,  that  the 
advertisement  must  attract  attention  in  spite  of  com- 
peting appeals,  and  may  do  so  by  means  of  pictures  or 
other  display.  Even  with  these  elements  for  securing 
attention  the  copy  itself  has  to  attract,  as  well  as  do 
most  of  the  selling  work.  The  copy  may  attract  atten- 
tion by  the  use  of  appeals  that  are  close  to  the  reader's 
experience  and  that  show  him  his  need.  It  may  do  it  by 
means  of  the  news  element,  which  helps  to  make  the 
advertisement  chime  in  with  his  mood  when  he  is  look- 
ing at  the  news  material.  It  may  do  it  by  the  use  of  the 
pronoun  you  and  the  ''y^^  attitude." 

Desire  is  aroused  and  confidence  created  by  the  same 
kinds  of  description  and  evidence  as  are  used  in  sales 
letters.  The  difference  is  in  amount  of  space  and  method 
of  handling.  Action  is  stimulated  by  such  devices  as  a 
direct  command,  the  offer  of  a  sample,  free  booklet,  or 
other  inducement,  or  a  coupon  to  be  torn  off  and  filled 
out  by  the  reader.  All  these  correspond  fairly  closely 
with  the  devices  used  in  sales  letters. 

The  mail-order  advertisement  on  page  298  illustrates 
the  complete  sales  appeal. 

Many  advertisements,  like  follow-up  letters,  are  not 
complete  appeals.  They  aim  to  perform  only  part  of  the 
functions.  Some  arouse  desire,  others  convince,  still 
others  have  the  vague  purpose  of  creating  goodwill  that 


298  Business   English 

Complete  Sales  Appeal  Advertisement 


Just  the 
Typewriter 
for  You 


SOLD  ON  JUST  THE  TERMS 
THAT  SUIT  YOU 

The 


Our  latest  product,  the  latest  thing  in  typewriters, 
the  machine  for  which  YOU  have  been  waiting. 

The  Junior  is  smaller  and  lighter  than  the  Standard  Reming|on  models — weighs 

only  17  pounds.  , 

It  is  simpler.     You  can  quickly  learn  to  operate  it.     No  lessons  needed. 

It  has  all  the  Remington  essentials,  standard  keyboard,  standard  type,  and  writes 

letters  of  standard  size — the  kind  with  the  hundred-dollar  look. 

//  sells  for  $so — the  first  absolutely  first-grade  machine  at  a  medium  price. 

It  is  sold  either  for  cash  or  on  easy  payments — $5  down  and  ^5  a  month. 

You  are  not  asked  to  buy  the  Remington  Junior 
until  you  know  exactly  what  you  are  getting. 
We  will  send  ft  on  ten  days'  examination  to 
any  address  within  the  first  and  second  parcel  post 
zones  of  any  Remington  branch  oflice.  If  you 
decide  not  to  keep  it,  return  withm  ten  days — no 
obligation  involved. 

Here  is  your  chance,  your  first  chance,  to  get  the 
typewriter  you  have  always  needed.  Cut  out  this 
coupon  and  send  it  to  us. 


MAILTHE  COUPON  TODAY 


Remington  Typewriter  Cotnpanyi 

(Incorporated) 
J27  Broadway,  New  York. 

Send  me  a  Remington  Junior  Typ^- 
writer,  price  $;o,  on  free  examination.  It 
is  understood  that  I  may  return  the  machine, 
if  I  choose,  within  ten  days  If  I  decide 
tu  puichase  it,  I  agree  to  pay  for  it  in  lo 
monthly  payments  of  $5  each. 


Advertising  Copy  299 

may  later  result  in  sales.  Advertising  men  generally 
recognize  two  main  divisions  of  appeals :  "Reason- Why  " 
and  *' Human-Interest."  These  two  main  classes  will  be 
discussed  later. 

The  Qualities  of  Good  Copy 

As  in  all  forms  of  business  English,  the  qualities  de- 
sired in  advertising  copy  are  distinctiveness  and  econ- 
omy. Advertising  men  recognize  these  two  qualities 
and  call  them  "  punch  "  and  "  getting  across."  Punch 
is  the  power  that  compels  attention,  because  of  the 
originality  and  force  of  the  expression.  Getting  across 
is  the  adaptation  to  the  readers  that  makes  the  appeal 
strike  a  responsive  chord  in  those  who  are  prospective 
buyers. 

This  latter  quality  —  or  economy,  as  we  prefer  to 
call  it  —  is  the  more  important.  We  must  minimize  the 
reader's  time  and  effort.  This  demands,  first  of  all,  sim- 
ple language  that  is  on  a  level  with  the  reader's  under- 
standing. Naturally,  the  exact  nature  of  this  language 
would  vary  to  some  extent  with  the  subject.  Soap  and 
chewing  gum  are  used  by  more  people  than  pianos  and 
automobiles.  Consequently,  the  language  in  copy  about 
the  commoner  articles  would  generally  be  the  simpler. 
However,  there  is  no  connection  between  wealth  and 
education,  and  even  in  selling  pianos  and  automobiles, 
simple  language  is  safe.  Economy  also  demands  that 
the  statements  be  concrete  and  definite,  and  that  the 
copy,  as  a  whole,  be  terse. 

It  is  fatal  to  the  quality  of  economy  to  use  language 
that  is  too  elevated,  cold,  or  pretentious.  Great  corpora- 
tions, such  as  railways,  frequently  make  the  mistake  of 
maintaining  their  own  dignity  and  aloofness  at  the  ex- 
pense of  intelligibility.    They  use  long  sentences  and 


300  Business  English 

technical  words.  The  mistake  is  even  more  serious  when 
made  by  a  small  advertiser. 

The  following  example  will  illustrate  the  loss  of  econ- 
omy from  the  use  of  pretentious  and  technical  language: 

ROYAL 

A  car  of  distinguished  individuality  that  appeals  to  the  discrimi- 
nating. It  represents  the  consummate  embodiment  of  luxury  and 
economy,  the  ne  plus  ultra  of  the  automobile  manufacturer's  art. 

Among  its  notable  features  are  the  six  cylinder  cast  en  bloc  engine, 
the  sliding  clutch  transmission,  and  three-point  suspension. 

Royal  Motor  Co. 
Detroit,  Mich. 

Contrast  with  this  the  following  piece  of  copy  which 
has  the  quality  of  economy: 

Dodge  Brothers  Roadster 

A  man's  car  in  its  sturdiness  and  swift  response  —  a  woman's  car 
in  its  grace  of  line  and  design. 

In  short,  an  ideal  car  for  two.  Lounging  room  for  both;  and  luggage 
room  for  both.  Beautiful  finish  and  steady,  consistent  performance 
—  no  matter  what  you  ask  it  to  do  or  where  you  ask  it  to  go. 

Distinctiveness  is  a  more  difficult  quality  to  secure. 
It  is  that  element  of  the  original  that  sets  an  advertise- 
ment apart  from  others  and  makes  it  not  only  noticeable 
but  easily  remembered.  Most  writers  of  advertising 
copy  attempt  to  differentiate  their  advertisements  from 
those  of  competing  houses,  and  in  fact  from  all  other 
advertisements.  The  element  of  difference  may  be  in  the 
illustration,  in  the  type  display,  or  in  the  language  itself. 

The  use  of  such  a  distinguishing  characteristic  helps 
to  secure  what  is  called  the  ''cumulative  effect  of  a 
repeated  appeal."  This  phrase  simply  means  that  one 
advertisement  tends  to  remind  the  reader  of  other  ad- 
vertisements of  the  same  article  that  he  has  seen  before, 
and  adds  their  appeal  to  its  own. 


Advertising  Copy  301 

The  following  has  both  economy  and  distinctiveness: 

BIG  BEN 

Made  in  La  Salle,  Illinois, 
by  Westclox 

You   awake  in  the  morning.  You  try  it  once,  you  try  it 

snug  and  comfy,  right  where  you  twice  —  best  thing  you  know  — 

are.  —  He's    standing    by    your  good  Old  Big  Ben ! 

bedside,  waiting,  friendly,  eager  He's  punctual,  he's  loyal,  he's 

to  help :  big  all  over  and  good  all  through. 

"  The  morning  tub  makes  win-  Calls  two  ways  — ^ve  minutes 

ning  men,  there's  time  to  get  it,"  straight  or  every  other  half  min- 

says  Big  Ben.  ute  during  ten  minutes.    $^.50 

"A    clean-cut    shave     makes  anywhere  in  the  States.    $3.00 

keen-edged     men,     let's     lather  anywhere  in  Canada, 

well,"  says  Big  Ben.  Made  in  La  Salle,  Illinois,  by 

"A    short,    brisk    walk    puts  Westclox. 

blood  in  men  —  let's  walk  part-  » 
ways,"  says  Big  Ben. 

Distinctiveness  should  never  be  secured  at  the  ex- 
pense of  economy.  In  their  efforts  to  be  different,  some 
writers  strain  for  effect  and  secure  more  or  less  clever 
results  that  draw  attention  to  the  method  of  expression 
rather  than  to  the  article  itself.  This  is  a  great  error. 
The  grotesque  and  absurd  have  little  selling  value,  even 
for  articles  about  which  there  is  little  to  be  said,  such 
as  cigarettes  and  beer.  For  articles  that  have  value  to 
the  users,  mere  cleverness  is  worse  than  wasted. 

Constructive  Principles 

Advertising  copy  is  written  in  accordance  with  the 
same  constructive  principles  that  apply  to  other  types  of 
business  English.  Unity  demands  that  there  be  one 
single  message,  as  concentrated  as  possible.  Unity  is 
violated  by  the  attempt  to  make  too  many  points  or  to 
approach  the  subject  from  too  many  angles.  A  single 
advertisement,  for  example,  cannot  very  well  afford  to 


302  Business  English 

regard  sanitation  and  beauty  as  of  equal  importance,  and 
try  to  sell  the  reader  on  both  of  these  arguments.  Simi- 
larly, unity  is  violated  by  having  the  wrong  ''talking 
point"  and  by  getting  too  far  away  from  the  subject. 

Coherence  demands  that  the  material  be  arranged  in 
proper  order.  This  is  usually  the  order  of  the  sales  func- 
tions, but  it  cannot  be  rigidly  followed.  Coherence  also 
demands  that  a  single  point  of  view  be  maintained 
throughout  the  copy  and  that  the  ideas  be  properly  con- 
nected. One  successful  writer  of  advertising  copy 
adopts  what  he  calls  the  ''predicament"  formula  for 
writing  copy.  He  begins  by  putting  the  reader  in  some 
predicament  and  then  extricates  him  by  means  of  the 
article  he  has  to  sell.  For  instance,  he  puts  the  farmer  in 
the  predicament  of  doing  his  hoeing  by  hand  with  tre- 
mendous effort  and  useless  expense;  then  shows  him  how 
he  can  save  both  effort  and  expense  by  buying  an  up-to- 
date  horse  hoe. 

Emphasis  is  especially  important  in  advertising  copy, 
because  of  the  necessity  of  getting  attention.  Emphasis 
demands  that  at  the  beginning  there  be  something  im- 
portant to  the  reader.  It  demands  also  that  not  too 
much  space  be  given  to  unimportant  ideas.  The  nega- 
tive side  should  never  have  so  much  space  as  the  posi- 
tive. In  other  words,  attacks  on  competitors  and  defects 
of  other  articles,  if  mentioned  at  all,  should  occupy  less 
space  than  the  merits  of  the  article  to  be  sold. 

The  illustration  on  page  303  is  an  example  of  an  ad- 
vertisement constructed  in  accordance  with  the  princi- 
ples of  unity,  coherence,  and  emphasis. 

"  Reason- Why  "  Copy 

'* Reason-why"  copy  appeals  to  the  intelligence  and 
encourages  deliberation.    It  attempts  to  prove  to  the 


Advertising  Copy 


303 


Which  Will  You  Keep? 

-Acid-Mouth"  or  Sound  Teeth? 

YOU  can't  have  both  *' acid -mouth**   and 
sound  teeth.     They  don't  go  together. 

**Acid-mouth"  gradually  but  surely  eats  away 
the  enamel  and  lets  decay  strike  into  the  soft 
interior  of  the  tooth.  In  time  you  won't  have 
a  sound  tooth  left — unless  you  remove  the  cause 
of  the  trouble. 

The  sure  waj  to  counteract  "acid>mouth"  is  by  the  regular  daily  use  of 

pcBeco 

TOOTH  PASTE 


Pebeco  is  the  scientific 
dentifrice  designed  to  neu- 
tralize the  mouth -acids 
formed  by  food  -  ferment. 
By  doing  this  it  removes 
what  authorities  claim  is 
the  chief  cause  of  tooth- 
decay. 

Pebeco  also  cleans  and 
whitens  the  teeth, 
purifies  the  mouth, 
drives  out  bad  odors 
and  tastes,  and  leaves 
a  feeling  of  clean 
freshness  that  noth- 
ing else  can  equal. 
The  delightful  tin- 
gle of  its  taste  is  a 
revelation. 


You  are  invited 


U«e  V^  of  Bnuhful 


to  find  out  whether  you 
have  ** acid-mouth,"  as  9 
out  of  10  people  are  said 
to  have.  If  you  have 
** acid-mouth,*'  Pebeco  is 
a  necessity. 

Send  for  Free  TeO'Day  Trial  Tube 

of  Pebeco  and  Acid  Tett  Papert 

The  Test  Papers  will 
show  you  whether  you 
too  have  "acid-mouth" 
and  how  Pebeco  counter- 
acts it. 

Pebeco  orieinated  in  the  hyKi- 
enic  laboratories  of  P.  Beiersdorf 
&  Co..  Hamburif,  Germany,  and 
is  s6ld  everywhere  in  extra-lartre 
size  tubes.  As  only  one-third  of  a 
brushtui  is  used  at  a  time,  Pebeco 
saves  mon£y  as  well  as  teetb. 

Manufacturing  Chemists 
120  WilUam  Street.  New  York 

^nduttrt  of  Ithn  W  Fitti'i  Rivtrii  Talcum 


304  Business  English 

reader  that  he  should  have  the  article  by  giving  him 
reasons  for  its  superiority.  It  is  based  on  evidence  and 
constructed  according  to  logic.  It  concentrates  on  the 
function  of  conviction.  The  advertisement  on  page  303 
is  distinctly  a  "reason-why"  appeal. 

"  Reason- why  "  copy  is  adapted  especially  to  the  fol- 
lowing types  of  articles : 

1  Articles  that  are  in  themselves  useful  or  productive, 
such  as  office  appliances  and  labor-saving  devices. 

2  Articles  that  are  expensive  and  would  not  be  pur- 
chased without  careful  consideration  and  comparison. 

3  Articles  that  are  more  expensive  than  competing 
articles. 

4  Articles  sold  to  buyers  who  are  characteristically 
careful,  such  as  farmers. 

"Reason- why"  copy  is  not  so  well  suited  for  articles 
that  are  bought  habitually  and  frequently,  such  as 
breakfast  foods  and  soap;  or  are  bought  chiefly  for  pleas- 
ure, such  as  candy  and  tobacco. 

"Human-Interest"  Copy 

"  Human-interest "  copy  makes  its  appeal  to  the  senses 
or  emotions.  Psychologists  call  it  a  short-circuit  appeal, 
because  it  attempts  to  get  a  response  without  deliber- 
ation; that  is,  without  the  process  of  the  intellect. 
Among  the  most  important  emotions  appealed  to  are 
those  of  fear,  pride,  and  love  (which  of  course  includes 
mother-love,  love  of  music,  or  any  other  strong  liking). 
"Human-interest"  copy  almost  always  makes  use  of 
illustration  and  other  forms  of  display,  since  these  have 
a  more  direct  effect  on  the  senses  than  words  have.  Often 
the  copy  proper  is  very  short,  as  in  the  following 
example : 


Advertising  Copy  305 

VICTOR  EXCLUSIVE  TALENT 

The  best  friends  you  can  have  —  who  cheer  you  with  their  music 
and  song,  who  unfold  to  you  all  the  beauties  of  the  compositions  of 
the  great  masters,  who  through  their  superb  art  touch  your  very 
heart  strings  and  become  to  you  a  wellspring  of  inspiration. 

(Illustration  covering  three  fourths  of  page) 

VICTOR- VICTROLA 

"Human-interest"  copy  is  generally  suitable  to  the 
following  types  of  articles : 

1  Articles  that  are  for  luxury  or  refinement,  such  as 
musical  instruments,  toilet  products,  and  beautifiers. 

2  Articles  that  demand  strong  desire  before  their  need 
is  apparent,  such  as  revolvers  and  insurance. 

3  Articles  of  common  use  and  frequently  and  habitu- 
ally used,  such  as  foods  and  drinks. 

4  Articles  that  have  their  main  appeal  to  women  or 
children. 

5  Articles  that  are  in  the  lead  in  their  respective 
fields,  or  lower  priced  than  their  competitors. 

The  "human-interest"  appeal  in  copy  is  often  by  de- 
scription. Sometimes  the  good  qualities  are  painted  in 
terms  that  arouse  desire.  Since  this  method,  however, 
may  lead  to  sentimentality  and  even  absurdity,  it  is  of- 
ten better  to  use  the  story  or  dramatic  form.  A  charac- 
ter is  created  to  tell  of  the  article  and  the  pleasures  and 
benefits  of  it.  Frequently,  dialogue  is  successfully  used. 

Display  as  Related  to  Copy 

In  the  copy  itself  certain  parts  are  usually  placed  in 
bold  type  or  "displayed."  Usually  there  is  a  headline 
and  one  or  two  other  lines  of  display  types.  There 
should  never  be  more  than  three,  because  an  attempt  to 


306  Business  English 

emphasize  more  than  three  points  is  likely  to  result  in  the 
emphasis  of  none.  Wherever  possible,  the  two  or  three 
display  lines  should  tell  the  story,  in  so  far  as  three  lines 
can.  Thus,  the  headline  at  the  top  might  contain  the 
quality  of  the  article  which  appeals  most  strongly  to  the 
reader.  The  line  in  the  middle  would  contain  the  name 
of  the  article  or  its  chief  characteristic.  The  line  at  the 
bottom  would  give  the  name  of  the  maker  and  the  place 
where  it  may  be  obtained. 

As  has  been  suggested,  the  headline  should  appeal  to 
the  reader.  To  be  attractive  it  should  be  short,  specific, 
concrete,  and  apt.  If  possible,  it  should  be  expressed 
in  four  words.  It  should  create  a  definite  image.  It 
should  appear  to  belong  to  the  subject.  Such  head- 
lines as  ''Wonderful  Increase,"  ''At  Last,"  and  "Wis- 
dom" have  no  appeal  to  the  reader,  because  they  are 
vague  abstractions  and  might  belong  to  any  article. 
Much  better  are  such  headlines  as  "Insures  Light  in 
Emergencies,"  "Cambridge's  Experience  with  Tarvia," 
and  "A  Summer  Without  Rent." 

Appeal  to  Different  Classes 

The  principles  so  far  stated  apply  generally  to  all 
types  of  advertising  in  publications  of  wide  circulation. 
Wherever  the  publication  appeals  only  to  a  certain  lim- 
ited class  of  people  it  is  possible  to  adapt  the  copy  to  it 
in  such  a  way  as  to  produce  a  stronger  impression.  An 
advertisement  in  a  business-man's  magazine,  for  exam- 
ple, must  adopt  a  businesslike  tone.  In  a  high-class 
woman's  publication,  on  the  other  hand,  it  is  permissible 
to  use  more  dignified  and  elevated  language,  even  ap- 
proaching the  literary,  and  it  is  necessary  to  have  it  ab- 
solutely correct  and  precise.  The  question  of  adaptation 
to  different  classes  has  already  been  considered  with  ref- 


Advertising  Copy  307 

erence  to  sales  letters,  and    it  will  not,  therefore,  be 
necessary  to  repeat  these  principles  here. 

Retail  Advertising 

Retail  advertising  follows  the  principles  used  in  gen- 
eral advertising.  It  should  be  written  from  the  stand- 
point of  the  reader.  For  example,  retail  stores  should 
not  have  simply  a  card  announcing  '*  John  Jones,  Boots 
&  Shoes."  The  copy  should  give  a  real  message  directed 
to  the  readers  and  intended  to  secure  some  response 
from  them. 

It  is  natural  that  a  great  part  of  retail  advertising 
should  be  in  the  form  of  bargain  sales.  The  instinct  for 
saving  is  universal,  and  the  element  of  limited  time  is  a 
strong  factor  in  getting  responses.  Most  department 
stores  use  the  bargain  appeal  constantly  with  certain 
"leaders"  featured  in  the  advertisement  each  day. 
These  leaders  attract  people  to  the  store  who  when 
there  buy  other  articles.  Stores  with  a  narrow  range  of 
merchandise  reserve  the  bargain  appeal  for  certain  sea- 
sons during  the  year  when  business  otherwise  might  be 
dull. 

Unity  demands  that  in  a  bargain  appeal  only  a  few 
articles  should  be  featured.  These  should  be  chosen  for 
their  intrinsic  interest  and  their  timeliness.  The  other 
material  in  the  advertisement,  if  any,  should  occupy  less 
important  position  and  space. 

When  the  store  does  not  advertise  by  means  of  the 
bargain  appeal  it  may  give  reminders  of  seasonable  arti- 
cles, or  it  may  have  simply  a  general  message  of  service. 
Such  a  message  might  point  out  the  special  advantages 
of  this  particular  store,  or  it  might  try  merely  to  create 
good  will.  Even  with  such  a  vague  purpose  as  this,  some 
sales  argument  should  be  drawn  in.    The  writer's  per- 


308 


Business  English 


The    Saksology 
of  Clothes 


^  First,  that  a  man  shall  con- 
sider style  in  relation  to  what 
best  becomes  him. 


1[  For  the  art  of  being  well 
dressed  consists  in  wearing 
clothes  which  best  consort  with 
the  natural  advantages  of  the 
person.  ^ 

If  Second,  that  a  man  shall 
employ  as  many  changes  in  his 
clothes  as  the  change  in  his 
clothes  will  permit. 

^  For  variety  is  the  spice  of 
life,  and  a  liberal  wardrobe  is 
a  fair  indication  of  a  liberal 
mind.       

^  Third,  that  a  man  shall 
avoid  the  commonplace  in 
clothes,  and  cultivate  style, 
which  though  commonplace 
enough  in  print  is  as  rare  as 
radium  in  fact. 


1[  By  following  these  direc- 
tions you  will  arrive  at  Saks  & 
Company,  which  is  the  perma- 
nent residence  of  Style. 


H  And  always  remember  that, 
at  Saks',  no  matter  how  little 
you  pay  for  a  garment,  no 
matter  how  much,  you  cannot 
at  any  price  disturb  the  eternal 
affiliation  that  exists  between 
Saks  and  Style. 


Men's  Suits  $17.50  to  $45 

M>ah0  Si  Companp 

Broadway  at  34th  Street 


sonality  may  appear  in 
the  message,  but  it  should 
not  sacrifice  the  reader's 
interest.  In  a  small  com- 
munity the  personal  popu- 
larity of  a  storekeeper  has 
much  to  do  with  his  suc- 
cess, and  it  frequently  hap- 
pens that  he  can  adopt  an 
original  style  of  advertis- 
ing that  cannot  be  recom- 
mended for  general  use. 

In  a  series  of  advertise- 
ments for  a  store  it  is  wise 
to  maintain  certain  iden- 
tifying characteristics  in 
size,  style,  illustration,  or 
general  style  of  copy.  A 
certain  amount  of  cumula- 
tive effect  is  secured  by 
"  keeping  the  name  before 
the  public  "  in  this  way  ; 
moreover,  if  the  advertise- 
ments are  suflBciently  dis- 
tinctive and  interesting, 
they  will  attract  a  group 
of  readers  who  will  look 
for  them  regularly. 

The  accompanying  ex- 
ample of  a  Saks  &  Com- 
pany advertisement  will 
illustrate  an  individualistic 
style  that  has  been  used 
by  this  store  with  success. 


Advertising  Copy 


309 


Copy  Reminders 

Some  of  the  most  important  principles  of  writing  copy 
have  been  summed  up  by  one  advertising  agency  in  the 
form  of  rules  headed  ''Don't "  and  "Do."  They  may  be 
here  repeated  for  the  further  guidance  of  the  student. 


Don't 

Don't  be  in  a  hurry  to  get  words 
on  paper. 

Don't  write  over  the  heads  of 
your  public. 

Don't  let  your  little  arguments 
obscure  the  big  ones. 

Don't  pile  up  unnecessary  adjec- 
tives and  adverbs. 

Don't  treat  all  words  as  equal. 

Don't  use  incomplete  sentences. 


Don't  let  modifiers  get  too  far 
away  from  the  words  they  mod- 

ify. 

Don't  use  verbs  of  being  where 
verbs  of  doing  are  possible. 

Don't  use  the  passive  verb  where 
the  active  is  possible.  {Are 
made  can  never  equal  we 
make.) 

Don't  use  the  plural  number 
where  the  singular  is  possible. 

Don't  overwork  and  and  but. 


Do 

Analyze  your  subject  and  your 
reader  first. 

Use  simple  Anglo-Saxon  lan- 
guage understood  by  everybody. 

Make  one  point  well  —  and  be 
sure  you  make  it. 

Make  sure  that  each  word  is 
necessary  to  the  clear  and  accu- 
rate expression  of  your  thought. 

Put  the  best  fighters  on  the  firing 
line. 

If  sentences  must  be  mutilated  to 
get  them  into  space,  let  that  be 
the  last  thing  done. 

Be  sure  of  the  agreement  of  sub- 
ject and  verb.  The  only  safe  way 
is  to  parse  each  sentence. 

Verbs  are  the  life  of  good  expres- 
sion. Make  them  dj^namic. 

Use  the  present  tense  in  prefer- 
ence to  any  other.  ("You  like 
this  hat  the  moment  you  see  it" 
is  more  vivid  than  "You  will  like 
this  hat  the  moment  you  see  it.") 

Use  the  concrete  in  preference  to 
the  abstract. 

Find  the  one  connective  that 
shows  the  exact  relation  of  your 
ideas. 


310 


Business  English 


Don't 

Don't  feel  sure  you  liave  just  the 
right  word  because  you  can  think 
of  only  one  for  the  place. 

Don't  use  hoary  standardized 
phrases. 

Don't  use  mixed  metaphors  or 
far-fetched  figures  of  speech  — 
or  alliteration. 

Don't  strain  for  the  unusual. 
Don't  think  about  your  style. 


Don't  try  to  sell  yourself  or  your 
copy. 


Do 

Keep  acquainted  with  the  dic- 
tionary and  you  won't  have  to 
fall  back  on  slang  or  coined 
words. 

Express  the  literal,  concrete 
truth.  It  is  never  hackneyed. 

Use  figures  of  speech  only  when 
they  bring  your  subject  close  to 
the  reader's  experience,  or  help 
him  to  visualize  it. 

When  in  doubt,  be  conventional. 

Try  to  write  in  the  style  of  your 
readers.  Keep  their  interests  and 
their  attitude  always  in  mind. 

Sell  the  goods. 


/ 


Exercises 

1  Write  a  classified  advertisement  to  go  in  the  Want  Ads  Column 
to  obtain  a  position  as  correspondent  or  advertising  writer. 

2,  Construct  a  publicity  car  card  for  talking  machines. 

3  Write  the  copy  for  a  "human-interest"  magazine  advertisement 
about  talking  machines  or  player-pianos. 

4  Write  a  "  reason-why  "  magazine  advertisement  for  an  automo- 
bile, a  kitchen  cabinet,  a  vacuum  cleaner,  or  a  check  protector. 

5  Write  a  general  magazine  advertisement  for  some  manufacturing 
establishment  located  in  your  city  or  town. 

6  Write  an  advertisement  for  your  city  itself  to  attract  settlers  from 
other  communities. 

7  Write  a  retail  advertisement  for  a  collar  and  cuff  laundry.  (See 
Exercise  2,  Chapter  I,  Part  IV.) 

8  Write  a  retail  advertisement  for  some  department  store  in  your 
city. 

9  Write  an  advertisement  for  some  hardware,  grocery,  clothing, 
stationery,  or  shoe  store  in  your  town.   (Not  a  bargain  appeal.) 


CHAPTER  V 
REPORTS 

Nature  and  Purpose 

A  BUSINESS  report  is  a  systematic  presentation  of 
information  about  some  specific  phase  of  business. 
Sometimes  it  contains,  in  addition  to  the  information, 
the  writer's  conclusions  and  recommendations  based  on 
the  facts  given. 

Reports  range  all  the  way  from  the  short  published 
bank  reports  and  audits,  which  are  nearly  all  figures,  to 
reports  of  field  investigators,  foreign  consuls,  and  the 
like,  which  are  likely  to  contain  much  description  and 
narration.  In  some  of  these  the  presentation  of  facts 
occupies  the  bulk  of  the  space;  in  others,  more  space  is 
given  to  dignified  persuasion  and  the  making  of  recom- 
mendations. 

The  receiver  of  a  report  is  usually  some  one  in  author- 
ity, as  a  president  or  a  Board  of  Directors,  who  relies  upon 
the  information  and  recommendations  for  his  or  their 
plans.  It  is  not  necessary,  therefore,  that  so  much  atten- 
tion be  paid  to  the  question  of  adaptation  to  the  reader 
as  in  letters  and  most  other  forms  of  business  English. 
Of  course,  a  report  that  is  to  be  published  for  the  benefit 
of  the  public  at  large  needs  different  treatment  from  the 
one  that  is  to  be  read  by  a  single  individual. 

.  In  general,  reports  can  be  classified  as  of  two  kinds,  per- 
sonal and  impersonal.  A  personal  report  is  ordinarily 
used  for  confidential  matters  and  matters  that  are  to 

311 


312  Business  English 

receive  the  consideration  of  only  a  limited  group  of  per- 
sons known  to  the  writer.  The  impersonal  form,  in 
which  the  writer  speaks  of  himself  in  the  third  person,  is 
used  where  his  report  is  likely  to  be  laid  before  a  great 
many  individuals  who  are  not  personally  known  to  him. 
The  impersonal  report  is  more  dignified  than  the  per- 
sonal, and  corresponds  very  closely  to  the  formal  official 
letter.  Many  such  reports,  in  fact,  are  written  as  official 
letters.  Others  are  accompanied  by  official  letters  as 
' '  presentations . ' ' 

Qualities  of  Business  Reports 

The  two  important  qualities  of  a  business  report  are 
clearness  for  the  first  reading  and  convenience  for  refer- 
ence. A  report  is  not  of  great  value  to  the  receiver  if  it 
compels  him  to  waste  his  valuable  time  and  effort  in  try- 
ing to  find  out  exactly  what  the  facts  in  the  case  are. 
They  should  stand  forth  so  plainly  that  he  cannot  pass 
them  by  or  misunderstand  them.  It  may  happen,  also, 
that  he  wishes  at  a  later  date  to  refer  to  the  information 
or  recommendations.  To  prevent  waste  of  time,  the 
material  must  be  so  presented  that  he  can  lay  his  finger 
immediately  upon  what  he  wants  and  not  be  compelled 
to  read  the  report  through  a  second  time  in  order  to  get 
the  specific  facts  he  needs. 

For  clearness  it  is  necessary  to  observe  the  principles 
of  unity,  coherence,  and  emphasis,  not  only  in  the  report 
as  a  whole  but  in  the  various  sections,  paragraphs,  and 
sentences.  There  must  also  be  simplicity  and  exactness 
in  the  words  used  and  an  avoidance  of  anything  that 
savors  of  the  rhetorical  or  pretentious.  Clearness  must 
never  be  sacrificed  for  the  sake  of  interest.  Technical 
terms  should  not  be  used  except  in  personal  reports 
to  limited  classes  of  readers. 


Reports  313 

Display  of  Reports 

A  large  part  of  the  clearness  and  convenience  of  a  re- 
port depends  upon  its  mechanical  form,  or  display.  It 
should  be  logically  divided  and  have  subheads  and  sub- 
subheads  wherever  necessary.  The  best  plan  is  to  separ- 
ate the  report  into  certain  main  divisions  and  have  at 
the  beginning  of  each  one  a  heading  in  capital  letters  or 
underlined  in  red  ink  so  that  it  will  stand  out  clearly 
from  the  text.  Then  each  one  of  the  paragraphs  of  the 
text  may  have  also  its  subhead  which  sums  up  the  infor- 
mation contained  in  it.  This  should  be  placed  in  the  left- 
hand  margin  of  the  report,  which  should  be  wide  enough 
to  accommodate  such  marginal  subheads.  The  sample 
page  of  a  report  shown  on  page  320  illustrates  this 
method  of  display. 

Other  methods  of  displaying  the  subheads  are  also 
used  to  good  effect,  such  as  that  of  having  the  subhead 
begin  at  the  margin  but  extend  across  the  page  above 
the  top  of  the  paragraph  to  which  it  refers.  The  impor- 
tant thing  to  be  kept  in  mind  is  that  these  subheads  and 
sub-subheads  should  be  distinctly  separated  from  the 
reading  matter  so  that  they  can  be  found  at  a  glance. 
Of  course,  in  each  case  the  subhead  itself  must  be  so 
constructed  that  it  will  give  an  idea  of  the  contents  of 
the  paragraph  or  section. 

Display  is  also  used  advantageously  in  connection 
with  statistics.  Where  a  great  many  figures  have  to  be 
given  they  should  be  tabulated  in  a  form  that  makes 
them  easy  for  comparison. 

For  instance,  in  tabulating  figures  of  petroleum  pro- 
duction in  different  countries,  it  would  not  be  wise  to 
construct  the  paragraph  as  follows: 

The  leading  countries  producing  petroleum  are  the  United  States, 
Russia,  Mexico,  Austria,  Roumania,  Dutch  East  Indies  (including 


314  Business  English 

British  Borneo),  India.  In  1914,  America  produced  265,762,535  bar- 
rels, or  66.36%  of  the  total  supply;  Russia  produced  67,020,522 
barrels,  or  16.74%  of  the  total  supply;  Mexico  produced  21,188,427 
barrels,  or  5.29%  of  the  total  supply ;  Austria  produced  5,033,350  bar- 
rels, or  1.26%  of  the  total  supply;  Roumania  produced  12,826,579 
barrels,  or  3.20%  of  the  total  supply;  the  Dutch  East  Indies  pro- 
duced 12,705,208  barrels,  or  3.17%  of  the  total  supply;  India  pro- 
duced 8,000,000  barrels,  or  2%  of  the  total  supply.  The  other 
countries  produced  lesser  amounts. 

The  following  would  be  a  much  better  way  of  giving 
these  facts: 

Production  of  Petroleum  in  19  H  by  Countries 


Country 

Barrels 

Percentage 

United  States 

265,762,535 

66.36% 

Russia 

67,020,522 

16.74% 

Mexico 

21,188,427 

5.29% 

Austria 

5,033,350 

1.26% 

Roumania 

12,826,579 

3.20% 

Dutch  East  Indies  (in- 

cluding British  Borneo) 

12,705,208 

3.17% 

India 

8,000,000 

2.00% 

Wherever  possible  maps,  diagrams,  and  blue  prints 
should  be  inserted  to  make  the  report  clearer  and  more 
convenient  for  reference. 

Outline  of  a  Report 

From  what  has  been  said  about  display,  it  is  obvious 
that  the  value  of  a  report  depends  to  a  large  extent  upon 
the  proper  division  and  subdivision  of  the  material.  For 
this  purpose  an  outline  should  be  constructed  in  ad- 
vance. Such  an  outline  will  not  only  enable  the  writer 
to  determine  upon  his  main  heads  and  subheads,  but  will 
also  enable  him  to  make  sure  that  his  report  is  unified, 
coherent,  and  emphatic. 


Reports  315 

The  first  step  in  making  an  outline  is  to  define  the  sub- 
ject, or  determine  upon  its  Hmits.  You  can  then  decide 
what  facts  may  be  included  as  essential  and  what  facts 
may  be  excluded  as  having  no  bearing  upon  the  purpose. 
The  second  step  is  to  divide  the  subject.  Its  division 
must  be  made  according  to  some  definite  principle. 
That  is  to  say,  it  should  be  made  geographically,  func- 
tionally, or  the  like.  If  the  report  were  to  be  on  roads  in 
New  York  State  suitable  for  automobile  trips  the  follow- 
ing division  of  material  would  be  manifestly  illogical : 

I   Roads  in  Oneida  County. 
II   Macadam  Roads. 
Ill   Roads  in  Process  of  Construction. 
IV  City  Streets. 
V   Country  Roads. 

It  is  evident  that  no  principle  of  division  has  been 
used  here.  The  writer  should  first  divide  his  subject 
according  to  the  geographical  sections  of  the  state,  then 
under  each  one  of  these  divisions  he  can  make  subheads 
according  to  the  number,  quality,  material,  or  location 
in  respect  to  cities  and  country,  or  the  like.  After  he  has 
finished  making  his  division  he  may  discover  that  cer- 
tain divisions  are  unimportant  and  can  either  be  omitted 
or  united  with  some  other  division.  The  purpose  which 
a  report  is  to  serve  will  probably  determine  the  relative 
importance  of  the  different  divisions.  He  may  discover 
that  his  subject  as  a  whole  was  too  large,  and  that  he 
should  report  only  on  roads  in  New  York  State  suitable 
for  automobiles,  as  "Country  Roads  in  New  York  State 
Suitable  For  Automobiles." 

A  third  step  in  the  making  of  an  outline  is  to  arrange 
the  divisions  in  logical  order,  so  that  progress  may  easily 
be  made  from  one  to  the  next.  The  order  to  be  followed 


316  Business  English 

may  be  the  order  of  cause  to  effect,  the  climactic  order, 
or  a  narrative  or  descriptive  order.  In  reporting  on  the 
industrial  conditions  of  a  plant,  it  might  be  well  to  take 
the  different  divisions  of  the  plant  in  the  order  in  which 
they  were  visited.  In  reporting  on  a  proposed  new  sys- 
tem of  industrial  organization,  it  might  be  well  to  show 
first  the  evils  of  present  conditions  and  their  causes,  and 
then  to  outline  the  remedies  suggested.  It  is  usually  safe 
to  begin  a  report  with  facts  close  to  the  reader's  experi- 
ence, and  to  end  with  facts  that  are  unknown  to  him  and 
unexpected  by  him. 

The  final  step  in  making  an  outline  is  to  take  the  top- 
ics as  they  have  finally  been  decided  upon  and  express 
each  one  in  the  form  of  a  definite  sentence  or  topic.  This 
method  is  especially  desirable  in  the  subheads,  which 
are  likely  to  cover  only  sections  of  a  report  and  therefore 
can  be  made  specific. 

The  following  is  a  good  example  of  an  outline  for  a 
report  on  a  selling  system: 

REPORT  ON   SALES   DEPARTMENT  OF   STANDARD 
GEAR   MOTOR   CO. 


A  Introduction 

I  Authorization  of  report 
II  Scope 
III  Sources  of  material 

B  Body 

The  Present  Selling  System 

1  Tabulated  comparison  of  sales  this  year  with  last 

2  Field  and  prospects 

3  Methods  of  selling 

a  OflSce  sales 

b  Salesmen  on  salary  and  commission 

c  Agency  sales 


Reports  317 

II  Faults  of  the  Present  S.\  stcin 

1  Small  number  ot*  salesmen  results  in 

a  An  inconsiderable  amount  of  territory  covered 
b  Limited  number  of  prospects  followed  up  and  sold 
c  Competitors  entering  field 

2  Waste  of  50%  of  salesmen's  time  caused  by 

a  Lack  of  advertising 

b  Lack  of  follow-up  letters 

3  Lack  of  co-operation  with  agencies 

III  Remedies  Suggested 

1  Increase  in  salesmen  so  that 

a  More  territory  may  be  covered 

b  More  prospects  may  be  followed  up  and  sold 

c   Competition  may  be  met 

2  Appropriation  for  advertising  and  follow-up  campaigns 

to  save  50%  of  salesmen's  time 

3  Closer  co-operation  with  agencies 

IV  Probable  Results 

1  Increase  in  sales  because  of  larger  force  of  salesmen 

2  The  advertising  and  follow-up  systems  will  result  in 

a  Direct    sales    from    advertising      and     follow-up 

systems 
b  Increase  of  100%  in  selling  power  of  present  sales 

3  Increased  sales  through  agencies 

V  Recommendations 

1  Increase  in  number  of  salesmen 

2  Appropriation  for 

a  Advertising  campaign 
b  Follow-up  campaign 

3  Better  treatment  of  agencies 

C  Conclusion 

I  Summary  of  important  facts 
II  Summarv  of  recommendations 


The  Introduction 

When  the  outline  of  a  report  has  been  constructed  the 
real  work  of  writing  it  is  half  done.    It  is  only  neces- 


318  Business  English 

sary  to  see  that  the  report  be  supplied  with  the  proper 
introduction  and  conclusion,  and  that  the  body  be 
written  in  clear,  readable  style. 

The  introduction  is  of  rather  formal  character.  Ordi- 
narily it  sets  forth  the  reasons  why  the  report  is  pre- 
sented, its  scope,  the  ground  that  was  covered,  and  the 
sources  of  the  facts  it  contains.  Sometimes  it  gives 
also  a  summary  of  the  material,  but  usually  such  a 
summary  is  reserved  for  the  conclusion. 

The  following  illustrates  the  introduction  to  a  report. 

The  Board  of  Directors  of  the  X  Real  Estate 
Company,  New  York  City. 

Gentlemen  : 

In  accordance  with  instructions  from  the  President 
of  your  company,  the  undersigned  has  made  a  careful 
investigation  of  the  selling  system  now  employed  by 
your  company  in  its  disposal  of  property  at  Tarry- 
town,  New  York,  and  has  made  a  careful  analysis  of 
all  the  letters  and  other  selling  material  employed.  He 
has  compared  the  system  with  those  previously  used 
by  the  company  and  those  now  successfully  used  by 
other  companies  in  the  same  field. 

As  a  result  of  this  study,  he  now  submits  a  detailed 
criticism  of  the  system  as  a  whole,  and  of  the  individ- 
ual units  of  the  system,  together  with  recommenda- 
tions which  he  believes  will  lead  to  improvements  and 
greater  profits. 

Very  truly  yours, 

(Signed)  John  Doe. 

It  will  be  observed  that  the  tone  in  the  above  example 
is  formal.  If  the  report  were  of  the  personal  kind,  the 
pronoun  I  would  be  substituted  for  the  "under- 
signed" and  "he,"  and  the  language  would  probably  be 
more  conversational.  There  might  also  be  some  general 
statement  of  the  recommendations. 


Reports  319 

The  Body  of  the  Report 

In  the  body  of  the  report  it  is  necessary  to  pay  partic- 
ular attention  to  the  principle  of  coherence.  There 
should  be  connectives  between  the  different  sections 
and  in  some  cases  a  paragraph  to  summarize  what  has 
been  presented  and  to  introduce  what  is  to  follow. 

Recommendations  must  always  be  carefully  sepa- 
rated from  facts.  Sometimes  recommendations  can  be 
placed  at  the  end  of  each  section.  At  other  times  it  is 
possible  to  save  them  all  until  near  the  end  of  the  report 
and  then  give  all  the  recommendations  in  a  body.  Where 
the  recommendations  vary  for  the  different  sections  of  a 
report,  it  is  best  to  place  them  directly  after  the  facts 
upon  which  they  are  based.  For  example,  in  outlining 
improvements  to  be  made  in  several  departments  of  a 
business,  the  faults  of  each  one  can  be  pointed  out,  and 
then  the  improvements  suggested,  before  taking  up  the 
next  department. 

Where  emphasis  is  desired,  it  is  wise  not  merely  to  put 
the  important  fact  at  the  end  of  the  paragraph  or  sen- 
tence, but  also  to  underline  it  or  write  it  in  capitals  or 
in  some  other  way  give  it  the  emphasis  of  display.  This 
is  particularly  important  in  a  report  that  is  likely  to  be 
subdivided  and  handed  over  to  several  individuals  for 
attention;  for  example,  a  report  outlining  a  new  system 
of  accounting,  where  each  member  of  the  office  force 
would  be  given  separate  instructions. 

Proportion  must  be  observed.  The  important  parts 
must  be  given  more  space  than  matters  of  little  import- 
ance. Throughout  the  report  facts  should  be  stated 
concisely.  Verboseness  is  undesirable  everywhere,  and 
especially  undesirable  where  information  is  to  be  given. 

The  style  should  be  absolutely  simple.  There  should 
be  no  attempt  at  the  rhetorical  or  ornate. 


320 


Business  English 


page  9 


Collection   As  these  overdue  accounts  come  to  your  notice 
system      each  month,  you  will  be  astonished  at  the 
amount  involved  and  at  the  amount  which  is 
gradually  going  into  the  dehit  column  of  the 
profit  and  loss  account.  A  good  collection 
system  can  overcome  much  of  this. 


THE  EFFECTS  OF  THE  CHANGE 


Reconciled   When  customers  receive  prompt  replies  to  their 
accounts     letters  and  perceive  that  their  claims  are  ad- 
Justed  quickly,  they  will  be  pleased  to  check 
any  statement  that  comes  from  this  Company. 
Eventually,  good  feeling  will  develop,  and 
accounts  can  be  reconciled  more  readily. 

Steady  and   A  collection  system  that  brings  in  the  money 
trained     without  hurting  the  customers*  feelings  means 
customers    more  business  for  the  Company  because  the  cus- 
tomers who  are  treated  with  tact  remain  cus- 
tomers. An  effective  collection  system,  more- 
over, trains  customers  to  pay  up  on  time,  month 
after  month.  They  sense  the  system  in  back  of 
the  letters  and  know  that  they  cannot  evade  it. 
Prompt  payments  will  increase  cash  on  hand. 

Goodwill     Any  effort  put  forth  to  please  a  customer  will 
secured      re-establish  confidence  between  our  firm  and  the 
customer.  He  can  be  taught  from  experience  that 
our  house  can  be  relied  upon.  As  goodwill  de- 
velops, we  can  obtain  favors  from  him,  such  as  re- 
questing him  not  to  deduct  claims  from  remittances 
until  we  have  investigated  the  claim  and  passed 
credit. 


Permanency   When  customers  are  trained  to  keep  their  accounts 
of  trade     paid  up,  they  are  likely  to  deal  more  extensively 
with  us  than  they  would  if  they  already  owed  us 
considerable  sums  of  money.  An  examination  of 
our  books  shows  that  when  we  have  succeeded  in 
collecting  an  overdue  account  from  a  customer,  he 
has  frequently  bought  extensively  in  the  follow- 
ing month.  NO  one  is  willing  to  Increase  a  debt 
that  is  already  large;  Instead  he  is  tempted  to 
make  his  purchases  at  some  other  store  where  his  • 
obligations  are  smaller.  For  that  reason  prompt 
collections  from  customers  lead  to  larger  pur- 
chases by  them  and  lessen  the  danger  of  their 
transferring  a  considerable  part  of  their  trade 
to  our  competitors. 


Reports  321 

Conclusion 

The  conclusion  of  a  report  should  contain  a  summary 
of  the  facts  given  and  the  recommendations,  if  any, 
based  upon  them.   Repetition  here  is  not  undesirable. 

The  following  illustrates  an  effective  conclusion: 

From  the  foregoing  criticisms ,  it  is  evident  that  the 
failure  of  the  Tarrytown  campaign  has  been  due  only 
in  part  to  the  dullness  of  the  real  estate  and  invest- 
ment market. 

The  chief  error  made  was  in  the  failure  to  recognize 
the  importance  of  adapting  the  selling  methods  to  the 
class  of  people  to  be  reached.  It  has  been  clearly 
shown  that  sensationalism  does  not  have  much  selling 
value  to  people  of  refinement  and  education,  and  that  a 
more  dignified  presentation  that  brought  out  clearly 
the  advantages  of  this  location  for  people  with  families 
would  have  been  more  likely  to  succeed. 

The  campaign  now  proposed  has  avoided  these  er- 
rors, and  it  is  the  writer's  firm  belief  that  if  the  cam- 
paign is  adopted  by  your  Board,  it  will  prove  successful 
in  spite  of  adverse  conditions. 

Respectfully  submitted, 

(Signed)  John  Doe 
Exercises 

1  Write  a  report  to  the  teacher  of  your  class  stating  the  most  im- 
portant facts  you  have  learned  from  your  study  of  business  Eng- 
lish and  where  you  expect  to  apply  them. 

2  Write  a  report  to  the  principal  of  your  school  criticizing  the  pres- 
ent year  book  or  magazine  and  suggesting  where  improvements 
may  be  made.  If  no  magazine  or  year  book  is  now  published, 
report  on  conditions  in  the  school  that  demand  such  a  publica- 
tion and  suggest  a  plan  for  establishing  it. 

3  Report  to  the  members  of  some  society,  athletic  association,  or 
other  organization  of  which  you  are  a  member,  stating  the  condi- 
tions of  its  finances  and  suggesting  a  method  for  raising  funds. 

4  Write  a  report  on  the  effect  of  the  European  War  on  some  busi- 
ness with  which  you  are  familiar. 

5  Write  a  report  on  commercial  conditions  in  South  America  and 
the  present  opportunity  of  the  United  States. 


CHAPTER  VII 
BUSINESS    NARRATIVE 

September  i 

1  I,  John  Patten,  have  this  day  purchased  from 

lA     Peter  Frost   his  grocery  business  on  12  Front 

IB     Street,   Belville,   111.,   giving   him  in    payment, 

cash,  my  farm  of  160  acres,  and  a  note  for  the 

remainder,  $5000,  for  twelve  months  at  6%. 

I  have  assumed  all  liabilities  of  the  business, 
and  have  agreed  to  collect  all  outstanding  ac- 
counts. An  inventory  of  the  business  disclosed 
the  following  assets  and  liabilities: 

Cash  at  First  National  Bank $3000 

Goods  on  hand 5500 

Book  accounts  that  are  considered  good  5000 
Book    accounts     that     are    considered 

doubtful 500 

Equipment  of  delivery  wagons,  horses, 

etc 1000 

Total  assets $15000 

Bills  payable 

Book  accounts  payable,  falling  due  Sep- 
tember, 1916 $4000 

Three  months'  note  in  favor  of  E.   R. 
Lennon,  dated  August  21,  1916,  with 

interest  at  5% 1200 

Total  liabilities $5200 

322 


Business  Narrative  323 

September  2 

2-2A       I  have  advertised  for  a  clerk,  a  delivery  boy, 

2B     and  a  bookkeeper.   I  have  sent  out  a  form  letter 

to  customers  giving  notice  of  the  change  in  store 

management,  and  asking  for  the  settlement  of  all 

outstanding  accounts. 

2C         I  have  ordered  by  letter  from  Reid,  Murdock 

and  Company,  Chicago,  111.,  the  following: 
2D  100  lbs.  of  Monarch  coffee  at  33  cents ;  3  cases 

canned  peas.  Monarch  brand,  at  $2.60  a  case; 
1  case  of  Yacht  Club  salad  dressing,  $3.35;  1 
case  of  Monarch  canned  salmon,  $2.85. 
3B         I  have  inserted  an  advertisement  in  the  Bel- 
ville  Gazette,  stating  the  policy  of  the  store,  and 
requesting  the  patronage  of  the  public. 

September  4     (September  3,  Sunday)  ^ 

4  I  have  sent  a  letter  to  the  Arbuckle  Company, 
New  York,  asking  for  information  about  Yuban 

4A  Coffee,  and  suggesting  that  they  send  me  sample 
packages  as  well  as  store  cards  and  posters. 

4B  I  have  remitted  to  T.  Costello  &  Company, 
900  Water  Street,  Chicago,  111.,  my  check  for 
their  August  invoice  amounting  to  $48.50  less 
3%  discount  for  payment  in  30  days. 

September  5 

5  I  have  received  a  letter  from  Ferguson  Bros., 
truck  gardeners,  Marengo,  111.,  soliciting  my 
patronage  for  fall  and  winter  vegetables.  They 
urge  that  facilities  for  transportation  assure  fresh 
and  reasonably  priced  produce. 

5A  I  reply  that  my  orders  for  this  fall  are  already 
placed,  but  that  I  shall  be  pleased  to  hear  what 


324  Business  English 

figure  they  can  make  me  on  tomatoes  and  cucum- 
bers, and  also  suggest  that  their  representative 
call  upon  me. 
5B  I  have  sent  the  following  order  to  Barret,  New- 

burg  and  Company,   Chicago,  requesting  that 
they  ship  immediately,  via  American  Express: 

3  boxes  of  American  Family  soap  at  $1.75 

a  box;  4  boxes  of  Ivory  Soap  at  $3.35  a  box; 

1  dozen  cans  of  Presto  floor  wax,  at  21  cents 

each. 

September  6 

6  I  have  received  a  request  from  the  Royal 
Baking  Powder  Company,  New  York,  for  per- 
mission to  demonstrate  their  powder  in  my  store, 
and  to  use  my  windows  for  purpose  of  display. 
They  suggest  the  mutual  advantage  to  be  derived 
from  such  an  arrangement. 

6 A  I  reply  that  I  am  agreeable  to  their  proposition, 
but  that  for  various  reasons  ''Home  Coming 
Week,"  October  1-8,  will  be  best  suited  for  such 
demonstration. 

September  7 

7  Mrs.  J.  Otis,  a  customer  in  good  standing, 
writes  a  letter  to  the  effect  that  a  crate  of  melons 
was  delivered  to  her  September  5  in  an  unsatis- 
factory condition.  The  crate  had  been  broken 
open  and  part  of  the  melons  were  stolen. 

7A  I  reply  expressing  my  regret,  and  offer  to  adjust 
the  matter  to  her  satisfaction. 

7B  Mrs.  J.  T.  Roby  writes  that  she  was  called  out 
of  town  unexpectedly,  and  that  some  grapes  were 
delivered  in  her  absence  and  spoiled  before  her 


Business  Narrative  325 

return.  She  complains  that  the  fruit  was  a  total 
loss  to  her,  and  wishes  credit  for  it. 

7C  I  reply  to  the  effect  that  I  cannot  hold  myself 
responsible  for  the  loss,  since  I  was  not  told  to 
hold  the  delivery  of  the  fruit.  She  is,  however,  a 
good  customer  whose  trade  I  wish  to  keep ;  there- 
fore I  make  her  a  special  price  on  some  fine  Con- 
cords just  in. 

7D  The  premium  on  my  store  fire-insurance  policy, 
number  167321,  Etna  Insurance  Company,  250 
Broadway,  New  York,  amounting  to  $54.20  falls 
due  September  18.  I  am  allowed  30  days'  grace, 
and  charged  30  days'  interest  on  the  premium  at 
5%  if  I  do  not  pay  it  until  October  18. 

September  8 

8  George  Case,  a  butcher  in  Milo,  Illinois,  writes 

me  that  he  is  opening  a  shop  in  the  building  ad- 
joining mine,  and  suggests  that  we  go  into  part- 
nership, and  for  greater  trade  convenience,  cut  a 
door  between  the  two  stores.  He  enumerates  the 
advantages  to  be  derived  from  such  a  partner- 
ship, gives  references,  and  asks  for  a  conference. 

8A  I  reply  to  the  letter  of  Case  refusing  to  consider 
the  proposition,  and  give  as  my  reason  that  I  am 
friendly  with  the  butchers  already  established 
here  and  cannot  take  the  risk  at  present. 

8B         The  constant  demand  for  Yuban  Coffee  urges 

8C  me  to  telegraph  the  Arbuckle  Company  to  ship 
immediately  100  lbs.,  C.O.D. 

8D  I  have  taken  the  agency  for  Diana  Chocolates, 
and  advertise  that  I  will  give  a  quarter-pound 
box  free  to  every  purchaser  of  goods  amounting 
to  $1  or  more  on  September  9. 


326  Business  English 

September  9 
9  I  order  of  the  Joseph  Campbell  Company, 

.Camden,  New  Jersey, 

4  eases  of  asparagus  soup  at  $1.90  a  case;  2 
cases  of  chicken  soup  at  $1.90  a  case;  3  cases 
of  clam  bouillon  at  $1.90  a  case;  5  cases  of 
tomato  soup  at  $1.90  a  case. 
9A  I  inclose  my  certified  check  for  the  amount  of 
invoice  and  request  immediate  shipment. 

My  request  for  a  settlement  of  accounts,  sent 
out  September  3,  has  met  with  ojily  partial  re- 
sponse. Some  customers  settled  in  full,  others 
have  not  as  yet  complied  with  my  request.  After 
consulting  with  Peter  Frost,  I  have  divided  these 
into  two  classes;  those  who  are  known  to  be  slow 
but  good  payers,  and  whose  patronage  I  do  not 
wish  to  lose,  are  classed  as  "A";  those  who  are 
doubtful  or  poor  payers  are  classed  ''B."  To  each 
of  these  classes  I  send  a  form  letter  urging  that 
9B  they  settle  their  accounts.  The  letter  to  class  A 
is  firm,  dignified,  and  respectful.  The  letter  to 
9C  class  B  is  sharp,  demanding  an  immediate  settle- 
ment of  their  accounts.  I  make  it  appear  that 
this  demand  and  the  consequences  which  will  fol- 
low delay  are  the  result  of  a  fixed  business  policy 
toward  delinquent  debtors. 

September  11  (September  10,  Sunday) 

11  Mr.  James  Gore,  class  A,  replies  asking  for  an 

extension  of  time,  giving  as  his  reason  illness  in 
the  family  and  lack  of  work  due  to  the  temporary 

llA     closing  of  the  steel  mills. 

IIB  I  see  in  the  Chicago  Tribune  that  Gustave 
Schultze,  114  Milwaukee  Ave.,  a  baker  of  12 


Business  Narrative  327 

years'  experience,  wishes  to  go  into  partnership 
with  a  country  grocer.  He  can  supply  his  own 
machinery  and  put  $2000  into  the  business.  He 
gives  as  reference  the  Merchants  Exchange  Bank. 
lie  As  this  town  has  no  eflScient  bakery,  and  as  I  am 
disposed  to  consider  such  a  proposition,  I  write 
to  him  to  come  to  Belville  for  an  interview. 

September  12 

12  I  receive  a  telegram  from  Gustave  Schultze 
naming  September  14,  2  p.m.  for  an  appoint- 
ment. 

12A  I  remit  by  check  to  California  Fruit  Growers 
Exchange,  139  North  Clark  Street,  Chicago,  the 
amount  of  their  invoice  of  September  5,  $10,  after 
deducting  50  cents  express  charge  on  goods  cov- 
ered by  this  invoice. 

12B  Belville  is  to  celebrate  "Home  Coming  Week" 
Oct.  1-8.  I  wish  to  make  my  store  better  known 
to  country  trade,  and  to  that  end  have  rented  for 
the  week  a  vacant  store  adjoining  mine  as  a  rest 
room  for  country  patrons.  I  insert  notices  to  that 
effect  in  the  newspapers  of  ten  small  outlying 

12c     towns  as  well  as  in  the  Belville  Gazette. 

September  13 

13  I  have  inquired  into  the  business  affairs  of 
George  Gates,  class  B,  and  decide  to  accept  his 
settlement  of  50  cents  on  the  dollar.  I  write  him 
to  that  effect. 

13 A  I  am  interested  in  buying  a  new  motor  truck 
for  the  delivery  of  the  store  goods  and  have  writ- 

13B  ten  to  the  Staver  Motor  Company  of  Englewood, 
Illinois,  for  catalogue  and  prices. 


328  Business  English 

13C  I  remit  a  post-office  order  to  the  Saturday  Eve- 
ning Post,  Philadelphia,  Pa.,  for  one  year's  sub- 
scription.  I  ask  that  my  subscription  begin  with 

13D     the  October  first  number. 

13E  Caleb  Jones  who  has  been  employed  in  this 
store  for  five  years  as  clerk,  wishes  to  go  to 

13F  Chicago  as  head  clerk  for  Walter  Simpson, 
grocer,  1231  Milwaukee  Ave.,  and  has  asked  me 

13G     to  write  for  him  a  letter  of  recommendation. 

September  14 

A  crate  of  pineapples  sent  me  by  T.  Costello 
&    Company,  900   Water   Street,    Chicago,  has 

14        failed  to  arrive.  I  telegraph  to  inquire  the  reason. 

14A  They  reply  that  the  fruit  was  sent  a  week  ago, 
and  that  they  will  look  into  the  matter. 

14B  I  am  asked  by  the  Gazette  to  urge  the  business 
men  of  Belville  to  co-operate  heartily  in  making 
"Home  Coming  Week"  a  trade  booster. 

14C  I  have  already  secured  facts  about  methods 

used  and  results  secured  in  other  towns.  These  I 
intend  to  use  as  a  basis  for  a  report  to  the  business 
men  of  Belleville  to  show  them  how  they  can  make 
the  most  of  their  opportunities. 

September  15 

15 A  I  prepare  a  series  of  advertisements  on  service 
to  be  inserted  in  the  Gazette  beginning  October  1. 

15B  In  the  stock  taken  over  from  Peter  Frost  are 
two  gross  of  milk  pans,  and  various  other  items 
of  kitchen  ware  for  which  there  is  no  present  de- 
mand. I  prepare  a  circular  letter  to  go  out  to 
farmers  who  have  been  occasional  customers  of 
the  store  in  past  years  offering  to  sell  this  stock 
at  half  price  as  long  as  it  lasts. 


Business  Narrative  329 

EXEBCISES 

The  following  exercises  are  based  upon  the  preceding 
narrative.  The  number  of  the  exercise  corresponds  with 
the  number  in  the  margin  of  the  story. 

1      Write  the  letter  in  which  Peter  Frost  offers  to  sell  his  business 
to  John  Patten. 

lA   Write  John  Patten's  reply  in  which  he  asks  for  full  particulars 
and  suggests  an  interview  to  talk  over  matters. 

IB   Frost's  reply  to  the  foregoing  letter  of  John  Patten. 

^2      Classified  advertisement  for  bookkeeper. 

2A  A  letter  of  application  for  the  position  of  bookkeeper. 

2B   A  form  letter  to  customers  asking  them  to  settle  their  accounts. 

2C  A  letter  ordering  goods. 

2D  Acknowledgment  of  the  foregoing  order. 

2E  A  newspaper  advertisement  stating  the  policy  of  the  store  and 
soliciting  patronage. 

4  A  letter  of  inquiry. 

4A  Reply  to  the  foregoing  letter. 
4B  A  letter  remitting  a  check. 

5  Letter  soliciting  trade. 

5A  Reply  to  the  foregoing  letter. 
oB   Letter  ordering  goods. 
5C  Acknowledgment  of  order. 

6  Letter  of  inquiry  from  the  Royal  Baking  Powder  Company. 
6 A  Letter  in  reply. 

7  Letter  of  complaint  from  Mrs.  Otis. 
7A  Reply  to  Mrs.  Otis's  letter. 

7B   Letter  of  complaint  from  Mrs.  Roby. 

7C   Reply  to  Mrs.  Roby's  letter. 

7D  Letter  that  will  be  required  September  18,  and  inclose  bank 
draft  for  the  amount  of  the  premium. 

8  Letter  from  George  Case  making  me  a  partnership  proposition. 
8A  The  answer  to  Case's  letter. 

8B  Ten  word  telegram  to  the  Arbuckle  Company. 


330  Business  English 

8C  Telegram  from  the  Arbuckle  Company. 

8D  Advertisement  of  free  box  of  Diana  chocolates. 

9      Letter  ordering  goods,  inclosing  certified  check. 

9A  Acknowledgment  of  order. 

9B  Form  letter  to  Class  A. 

9C  Form  letter  to  Class  B. 

11  Letter  from  James  Gore  asking  for  extension  of  time. 
11 A  Reply  to  Gore's  letter. 

llB  Schultze's  advertisement  in  the  Tribune. 
llC  Reply  to  Schultze. 

12  Telegram  from  Schultze  making  an  appointment. 
12A  Letter  remitting  check. 

12B  Letter  to  editor  of  country  paper. 

12C  Advertisement  in  country  papers  (100  words). 

13  Letter  to  George  Gates. 

13A  Letter  to  the  Staver  Motor  Company. 

13B  Reply  to  foregoing  letter. 

13C  Letter  inclosing  a  post  office  order  to  the  Saturday  Evening 
Post 

13D  Acknowledgment  of  the  foregoing  letter. 

13E  Letter  of  recommendation. 

13F  Advertisement  for  a  grocery  clerk. 

13G  Letter  of  application  for  the  position  of  grocery  clerk. 

14  Telegram  of  complaint. 

14A  Reply  to  foregoing  letter. 

14B  Open  letter  in  the  Gazette. 

14C  Report  to  business  men  of  Belville  pointing  out  the  value  of 
Home  Coming  Week  and  ways  they  can  take  advantage  of  it. 

15A  Advertisements  on  service  for  the  Gazette. 

15B  Circular  letter  to  farmers  containing  bargain  offer. 


APPENDIX 

HANDLING  CORRESPONDENCE:  FILING  SYSTEMS 

The  Morning  Mail 

The  systematic  handling  of  correspondence  has  much 
to  do  with  the  efficiency  of  the  business  office.  For  that 
reason  the  student  should  be  familiar  with  the  methods 
of  handling  mail  used  in  good  business  houses. 

When  the  mail  is  received  in  the  morning  it  should  be 
opened  by  inserting  a  paper  cutter  beneath  the  flap  of 
each  envelope,  and  cutting  along  the  top  edge.  Care 
should  be  taken  to  see  that  the  inclosures  are  not  cut 
or  torn  in  any  way.  In  some  offices  a  machine  is  used 
for  the  purpose  of  opening  mail.  It  is  wise  to  glance  at 
the  heading,  date,  and  signature  of  a  letter  so  that,  if 
there  is  any  error,  the  envelope  may  be  attached  to  the 
inclosure  to  serve  as  a  possible  method  of  identification. 

In  large  offices  after  the  letters  are  opened  they  are 
stamped  with  a  time  stamp  to  indicate  the  date  and  hour 
of  receipt.  In  the  case  of  government  bureaus  and  busi- 
ness offices  where  the  mail  is  likely  to  be  of  great  im- 
portance, a  number  may  be  written  upon  each  incoming 
letter,  and  a  record  made  of  its  receipt  in  a  book  kept 
especially  for  this  purpose.  When  the  letter  is  answered, 
or  otherwise  disposed  of,  the  proper  record  may  then  be 
made  in  this  book.  This  method  is  cumbersome  and  ex- 
pensive, but  is  useful  as  a  precaution  against  the  side- 
tracking of  mail. 

After  these  processes  have  been  completed  the  mail 

331  . 


382  Business  English 

is  sorted  into  piles  for  the  different  departments.  Upon 
its  receipt  in  these  departments  it  may  again  need  to 
be  sorted.  Even  the  mail  intended  for  a  single  individ- 
ual should  be  arranged  in  some  convenient  order. 

All  letters  should  be  answered,  if  possible,  on  the  day 
they  are  received.  Orders  take  precedence  over  all  other 
kinds  of  mail;  inquiries  come  next;  and  third  come 
claims  requiring  adjustment. 

Duplicates  and  Carbon  Copies 

All  answers  to  mail  should  be  duplicated  either  by 
means  of  a  letter  press,  or  by  the  more  modern  method 
of  the  carbon  copy.  The  letter  press  has  the  disadvan- 
tage that  the  answer  to  the  letter  cannot  be  kept  with 
the  original  letter,  inasmuch  as  the  letter-press  copies 
are  usually  made  in  a  book.  This  book,  however,  is  pro- 
vided with  an  index,  so  that  it  is  possible  to  find  any 
copy  fairly  quickly. 

The  letter  press,  however,  is  still  used  in  many  busi- 
ness oflBces  because  copies  made  according  to  this 
method  give  an  exact  duplicate  of  the  signature  and  the 
contents  of  the  letter,  and  are  therefore  more  acceptable 
as  evidence  in  court  than  is  the  carbon  copy.  Moreover, 
the  presence  of  a  letter  in  the  consecutive  order  of  the 
pages  in  a  book  is  of  some  value  in  proving  the  date  on 
which  it  was  sent,  in  case  this  date  is  ever  called  into 
question. 

The  carbon  copy,  however,  is  much  more  convenient 
for  filing  and  for  purposes  of  reference,  and  has  therefore 
displaced  the  letter  press  in  most  offices  for  all  purposes, 
except  contracts  and  other  matters  involving  possibili- 
ties of  legal  questions.  The  carbon  co])y  is  made  on  the 
typewriter  at  the  same  time  as  the  original,  and  is  at- 
tached to  the  received  letter  which   it   answers.    The 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Systems     333 

copy  is  attached  to  the  received  letter,  and  stored  in  a 
box  or  drawer,  called  a  file,  for  future  reference. 

Filing  Systems 

A  file  is  kept  for  the  purpose  of  enabling  a  business  man 
to  refer  quickly  to  past  correspondence.  Many  different 
kinds  of  systems  are  in  use,  each  of  which  has  its  advan- 
tages and  disadvantages.  The  ideals  to  be  sought  by 
any  filing  system,  however,  are  as  follows: 

1  It  should  be  quick.  The  person  using  the  file  should 
be  able  to  put  material  in  its  place  quickly  and  to 
obtain  it  again  without  difficulty. 

2  It  should  be  accurate.  It  should  do  away,  so  far  as 
possible,  With  the  danger  of  placing  material  in 
wrong  places,  so  that  it  is  not  easily  obtainable 
when  wanted. 

3  It  should  be  elastic.  It  should  be  capable  of  growth, 
as  the  correspondence  of  a  business  grows. 

4  It  should  be  economical.  It  should  require  no  un- 
necessary expense  for  its  installation  and  mainte- 
nance. This,  of  course,  means  that  it  should  be 
time-saving  as  well  as  material-saving. 

Kinds  of  Files 

The  oldest  type  of  filing  device  is  the  fiat  box  about  1^ 
inches  wide  by  12  inches  long  by  3  inches  deep.  Inside 
are  twenty-six  leaves,  each  with  a  tab  bearing  a  letter 
of  the  alphabet.  Material  is  filed  in  such  a  box  under  the 
first  letter  of  the  firm's  or  individual's  name.  Corre- 
spondence with  John  Anderson  would  be  placed  in  the 
A  section.  Correspondence  with  Thomas  Brown  would 
be  placed  in  the  B  section,  and  so  on.  Such  a  file  meets 
the  requirements  of  a  small  business,  but  it  is  not  elastic 
enough  for  any  business  where  the  correspondence  is 
likely  to  involve  more  than  a  few  letters  a  day. 


Business  English 


Similar  to  this  flat-box  system  are  the  flat-drawer  sys- 
tems, in  which  each  drawer  contains  the  whole  alphabet 
or  a  part  of  it.  Some  of  them  have  springs  for  holding 
the  material  in  place  so  that  it  will  not  slip  out;  others 
have  metal  hooks  or  posts  upon  which  the  correspond- 
ence is  hung.  These  systems,  however,  are  not  exten- 
sively used  in  the  modern  business  office. 

The  vertical  file,  or  large  drawer  file,  is  most  generally 
used  at  the  present  day.  This  file  consists  of  drawers  of 

such  dimensions  as  to  per- 
Vertical  File*  mit  the  letters  and  other 

material  to  be  placed  in 
them  edgewise  instead  of  ^ 
flat.  In  this'  system  folders 
with  tabs  are  used  for  the 
different  sections  of  the 
alphabet,  or  sometimes  for 
the  correspondence  of  an 
individual  when  this  cor- 
respondence assumes  fairly 
large  proportions.  In  ad- 
dition to  the  folders  there 
are  usually  heavy  guide 
cards  of  cardboard,  bearing  tabs  which  are  marked  with 
initials  or  numbers  to  designate  the  different  sections  of 
the  file,  and  to  facilitate  reference  to  the  folders  which 
are  grouped  between  the  guide  cards. 

Alphabetic  Filing 

The  simplest  system  of  filing  correspondence  in  the 
vertical  file  is  by  the  use  of  the  name.  There  are  guide 
cards  for  the  alphabet  dividing  it  into  25,  40,  or  even 

*  This  and  the  following  illustrations  of  filing  devices  are  shown  by 
the  courtesy  of  the  Yawman  and  Erbe  Mfg.  Co.,  Rochester,  N.Y. 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Systems    335 
Alphabetic  Filing 


more  parts.  The  letter  A,  for  example,  might  be  divided 
into  two  parts,  one  with  a  tab  Aa,  the  other  Al.  All 
names  beginning  with  A  which  have  the  second  letter 
before  the  letter  1,  would  thus  come  in  the  first  part.  All 
names  the  second  letter  of  which  is  1  or  beyond  1,  would 
come  in  the  second  part.  The  letter  A  might  be  divided 
into  more  than  two  parts  in  the  same  way. 

Between  the  guide  cards  are  folders  with  further  sub- 
divisions of  the  alphabet.  Separate  folders  are  made 
for  persons  with  whom  an  extensive  correspondence  is 
carried  on.  These  individual  folders  would  have  tabs 
on  the  right-hand  side,  whereas  the  folders  for  groups 
would  have  tabs  on  the  left-hand  side. 

In  filing  correspondence  in  this  system  it  is  necessary 


336 


Business  English 
Geographic  Filing 


to  turn  to  the  guide  card  nearest  to  the  man's  name; 
then  look  to  see  if  there  is  a  folder  for  this  individual;  if 
not,  then  find  the  group  folder  which  includes  his  name. 
The  new  letter  with  carbon  of  reply  is  placed  in  front  of 
any  other  material  from  this  individual. 
Geographic  Filing 

Geographic  filing,  or  filing  by  localities,  is  another 
method  frequently  used  where   the  volume   of  corre- 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Systems     337 

spondence  is  large,  or  where  for  purposes  of  convenience 
the  customers  of  a  house  are  grouped  by  localities.  In 
this  system  the  file  is  divided  by  guide  cards  bearing  the 
names  of  states,  or  other  territorial  divisions,  arranged 
alphabetically.  In  each  section  there  is  a  further  sub- 
division by  localities,  and  sometimes  still  further  sub- 
divisions according  to  the  names  of  the  correspondents. 
The  chief  advantage  of  the  geographic  system  is  that 
within  any  locality  or  section  there  may  be  a  complete 
alphabetic  name  system.  This  makes  it  possible  to  ex- 
pand any  part  of  the  file  at  will  without  discarding  the 
entire  system.  The  State  of  New  York,  for  example, 
might  contain  within  itself  a  complete  alphabetic  name 
file,  whereas  the  State  of  Arizona  would  probably  not 
require  it.  The  disadvantage  of  the  system  is  that  in 
filing  or  finding  material  there  must  be  reference  not 
only  to  the  name  of  the  correspondent  but  to  his  ad- 
dress. This  necessitates  a  certain  amount  of  extra  effort, 
and  consequently  there  is  less  economy  than  in  the  sim- 
ple name  system,  where  only  the  name  of  the  corre- 
spondent needs  to  be  known. 

Subject  Filing 

Subject  filing  is  used  in  many  businesses,  such  as  rail- 
way and  transportation  companies  and  government 
bureaus,  where  the  subject  is  of  more  importance  than 
either  the  name  or  the  address  of  the  writer.  In  subject 
filing  the  guide  cards  are  marked  with  the  name  of  the 
subject  or  some  subdivision  of  the  subject.  Within  each 
subject  section  there  may  be  a  name  system  of  filing. 

The  possible  disadvantages  of  this  system  are  the  mul- 
tiplication of  subjects  and  subdivisions,  and  the  frequent 
difficulty  of  determining  the  subject  under  which  a  letter 
should  be  filed.    Several  subjects  are  often  covered  in 


338 


Business  English 
Subject  Filing 


rMreyv,C\         /      LINENS     X 


T^HsimMONs"^ 


one  letter,  and  it  may  be  hard  to  tell  which  is  most  im- 
portant. In  finding  such  a  letter  it  will  be  necessary  to 
search  under  several  subject  heads.  It  frequently  happens 
in  subject  systems  that  the  section  headed  "Miscellane- 
ous" expands  out  of  all  proportion  to  the  rest  of  the  file. 
The  subject  system  can  be  used  efficiently  only  under 
the  following  conditions: 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Devices     339 

1  The  subjects  must  be  clearly  defined. 

2  The  subject  must  be  more  important  than  the  name 
or  address. 

3  Other  systems  must  be  clearly  inadequate  for  the 
purpose. 

Numeric  Filing 

Numeric  filing  differs  from  alphabetic  filing  in  that 
the  files  are  divided  by  guide  cards  bearing  numbers, 
and  each  folder  has  a  number.  Usually  the  main  guide 
cards  are  numbered  by  hundreds  and  the  subguide 
cards  by  tens.  A  numeric  system  is  somewhat  quicker 
than  the  alphabetic  system,  in  so  far  as  finding  a  par- 
ticular folder  is  concerned.  It  is  easier  to  find  folder 
1462  than  to  find  folder  Mar-Mat.  It  is  only  necessary 
to  find  main  guide  card  1400,  subguide  card  1460,  and 
behind  this  to  find  folder  1462. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  numeric  system  requires  a 
card-index  file  to  show  what  number  should  be  looked 
for.  Thus,  in  order  to  look  up  the  correspondence  of  Mr. 
James  Marks,  you  would  first  turn  to  the  card-index  file 
and  see  that  his  number  is  1462.  You  would  then  go  to 
the  letter  file  and  find  folder  1462.  The  double  work  of 
keeping  a  card-index  file  as  well  as  a  letter  file  and  the 
extra  time  required  to  consult  both  files  is  the  chief  dis- 
advantage of  the  system.  Aside  from  this  there  is  some 
danger  that  an  index  card  may  be  lost,  and  if  no  dupli- 
cate existed  it  would  be  impossible  to  find  the  corres- 
pondence again. 

A  numeric  system  is  chiefly  valuable  where  the 
amount  of  correspondence  is  large  and  where  there  is 
considerable  correspondence  with  each  person.  It  is 
most  useful  for  concerns  that  do  an  installment  business. 

Suppose,  for  example,  that  Thomas  Jones  buys  a 


^mm 


piano  on  the  installment  plan  for  which  he  undertakes 
to  pay  in  monthly  installments  of  $10  for  three  years. 
He  is  given  the  lowest  number  not  previously  used  by 
the  concern,  say  number  8764.  In  the  course  of  the  three 
years  he  may  receive  letters  from  the  collection  depart- 
ment, claim  department,  service  department,  and  several 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Devices     341 

others.  All  of  it  may  be  filed  under  the  same  number. 
Each  department  could,  if  necessary,  have  its  own  card- 
index  file,  and  since  these  cards  can  all  be  made  at  one 
operation  by  the  use  of  carbons  there  is  little  extra  effort 
involved. 

Moreover,  the  numeric  system  is  most  elastic.  It  pro- 
vides for  indefinite  expansion.  Sometimes  the  numeric 
system  is  used  for  subject  filing  either  by  assigning  each 
subject  an  arbitrary  number  or  by  use  of  the  ''Dewey 
Decimal  System,"  which  classifies  all  subjects  into  main 
groups  (not  more  than  nine  in  number)  to  each  of  which 
is  given  one  of  the  nine  digits.  Under  each  head  there 
may  be  an  indefinite  number  of  subclassifications  and 
sub-subclassifications.  Thus,  streets  might  have  the 
number  4 ;  street  materials  might  be  43 ;  and  street  ma- 
terials —  stone,  might  be  432;  wood  might  be  433;  as- 
phalt might  be  437,  and  so  on. 

Combination  Systems 

There  are  several  systems  that  attempt  to  combine 
the  advantages  of  the  numeric  and  alphabetic  systems 
so  as  to  make  the  card  index-file  unnecessary,  and  to  se- 
cure the  advantage  of  quick  filing  and  finding  by  num- 
bers. One  way  df  doing  this  is  by  dividing  the  file  ac- 
cording to  the  name  system  into  say  40  parts,  and  giving 
each  part  not  only  its  letters  but  also  a  number  from  1  to 
40.  To  this  is  added  a  given  and  firm  name  key.  The 
following  illustrates: 

Each  guide  card  in  the  file  would  thus  bear  a  name 
and  a  number  from  Aa-1  to  XYZ-40.  Behind  each  of 
these  would  be  subguide  cards  from  0  to  9  which  would 
make  the  file  really  divided  into  400  parts.  These  sub- 
guide  cards  indicate  the  given  name  of  the  corres])ond- 
ent,  thus  ''James  Marks"  would  be  found  in  Section  230. 


342 


Business  English 


Anyone  familiar  with  the  key  would  be  able  to  file  his 
correspondence  quickly  by  finding  guide  card  236  and 
dropping  the  material  in  its  proper  folder.  In  finding  it 
he  would  either  use  the  key  or  more  probably  would  look 
for  the  **Ma"  card,  and  behind  it  look  for  the  subguide 
card  that  indicated  given  names  beginning  with  "J." 


Automatic 

Filing  System 

* 

A 

B 

c 

D 

E 

F 

c 

H 

i-j 

K-L 

M 

N-O 

P-0 

R 

s 

T.U-V 

WXYZ 

Aa   1 
Am  2 

Ba  3 
Be  4 
Br   5 

Ca  6 
Ch  7 
Co  8 

Da   9 
Di  10 

Ea  II 

Fa  12 

6a  13 
Gq  14 

Ha  15 
He  16 
Ho  17 

la  18 
Ja  19 

Ka20 
La  21 
LI  22 

Ma  23 
Me  24 
Mo  25 

Na26 
0a27 

Pa  28 
Qa29 

Ra30 
R0  3I 

Sa  32 
Se33 
Sin34 
St  35 

Ta36 
U.V37 

Wa  38 
Wi  39 
XYZ40 

CIVEN   AND  FIRM   NAME   KEY                                      | 

O 

1 

2            3 

4 

6 

6 

7            8 

9 

"««»""" 

A-B 

C          O-E 

F-C 

H-l 

J-K 

U-M       N-S 

T-Z 

Key  to  a  40  Automatic  division 

In  devising  any  filing  system  it  is  necessary  to  know 
first  of  all  what  facts  are  likely  to  be  available  when 
looking  for  material;  second,  for  what  purpose  the  ma- 
terial is  likely  to  be  required;  and  third,  what  the 
amount  of  material  in  a  given  period  is  likely  to  be  and 
how  fast  it  is  likely  to  expand.  Knowing  these,  it  is  pos- 
sible to  determine  whether  an  alphabetic  or  a  numeric 
system  would  be  most  useful,  and  whether  the  file  should 
be  by  names,  by  locations,  or  by  subjects. 

Follow-up  Systems 

it 
Frequently  a  letter  is  to  be  followed  up  by  a  further 

communication  if  an  answer  is  not  received  within  a 
given  length  of  time,  say  ten  days.  Several  devices  are 
in  use  to  make  this  possible.  A  simple  way  is  to  have  a 
"tickler"  file,  which  is  simply  a  filing  drawer  divided  by 
guide  cards,  each  bearing  a  number  from  1  to  31  to  indi- 
*  Courtesy  of  the  Library  Bureau,  Boston,  Mass. 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Devices      343 

cate  the  days  of  the  month.  Material  can  then  be  filed 
behind  the  number  of  the  day  on  which  it  should  again 
receive  attention. 

For  example,  a  letter  is  received  to-day,  the  11th,  and 
answered.  It  is  to  be  followed  up  on  the  21st  by  another 
letter,  provided  no  answer  is  received.  The  original  let- 
ter with  a  carbon  of  the  reply  is  filed  in  section  21. 
When  the  21st  of  the  month  comes  these  are  taken  out, 
together  with  other  material  which  also  is  to  receive 
attention  that  day,  and  the  follow-up  letter  is  written. 
It  may  again  be  filed  under  section  31,  and  this  process 
may  be  kept  up  indefinitely. 

Follow-up  File 


A  better  method  is  to  have  each  drawer  of  the  file  case 
divided  into  two  parts,  one  for  correspondence  and  the 


344 


Business  EngMsh 


other  for  follow-up  material.  Only  the  carbon  of  the 
answer  is  filed  in  the  follow-up  section.  The  original 
letter  is  filed  in  the  correspondence  section  with  the 
number  of  the  day  noted  upon  it.  Thus,  if  an  answer 
comes  in  before  the  21st  it  is  easy  to  locate  the  original 
letter  and  from  this  to  find  and  remove  the  carbon  that 
is  in  the  follow-up  section. 

Signal  System 


In  most  business  offices,  however,  where  the  amount 
of  follow-up  work  is  extensive  a  card  file  is  used  for  the 
purpose.  These  card  files  are  arranged  according  to  a 
tickler  system  or  else  a  "  signal  system  "  is  used.  In  the 
signal  system  the  cards  are  arranged  alphabetically. 
Each  card  has  along  its  top  edge  a  division  consisting  of 
31  parts,  each  about  one-sixth  of  an  inch  wide.    A  little 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Devices      345 

metal  clip  or  signal  can  then  be  placed  on  the  top  of  the 
card  at  the  position  which  indicates  the  day  on  which 
the  follow-up  should  be  sent.  These  signals  may  be  of 
several  different  colors  to  indicate  the  different  kinds 
of  follow-up  material. 

Such  a  signal  system  is  particularly  useful  in  the  col- 
lection of  installment  accounts  where  the  collection  sys- 
tem involves  a  sending  of  several  formal  notifications 
and  a  number  of  personal  letters.  The  two  great  points 
in  any  signal  system  are  position  and  color,  each  of  which 
may  be  made  to  indicate  a  number  of  facts. 

Signals  are  sometimes  used  to  show  the  attitude  of  the 
prospective  customers  toward  the  house.  These  signals 
record  the  nature  of  the  reports  made  by  the  salesmen 
of  the  house  after  each  call.  For  instance,  a  red  signal 
would  indicate  that  the  salesmen  had  reported  an  an- 
tagonistic attitude  on  the  part  of  the  prospective  cus- 
tomer; yellow  would  indicate  indifference;  white  would 
indicate  that  the  "prospect"  was  cordial,  but  was  satis- 
fied with  the  service  of  another  house  and  not  inclined 
to  change;  blue  would  indicate  that  he  was  almost  per- 
suaded to  buy. 

In  the  interval  between  the  salesmen's  calls,  the  oflSce 
correspondents  can  send  letters  and  other  material  to 
these  prospective  customers,  giving  them  different  treat- 
ment according  to  the  classifications  shown  by  the  signal. 
As  a  result  of  this,  they  can  be  gradually  won  over  to  a 
more  receptive  attitude;  and  later  reports  of  the  sales- 
men, if  they  do  not  actually  show  orders,  will  probably 
cause  the  red  signals  to  be  replaced  by  the  yellow  or 
white,  the  white  ones  by  the  blue,  and  so  on.  After  an 
order  is  secured,  of  course,  the  card  of  the  prospective 
customer  goes  into  the  active-customers'  file. 


346 


Business  English 
Cross  Reference  Index  Card 


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^  cc/c/b/1  ts 
(S'yry/tA'^S .Cross /rto  /^S 


J^ochesfer  tTl/ncT/o/i 


j^-i/       W/V/ceshdirre.  Pa 


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Pa. 


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/y-.<?      nmd/o^     S./^WdrrerJ         S-^P/f 


6  -Jo-// 


7-/S-// 


y^^^     ?r?yh^j7^5ter    77.y       S'/^-jr 


The  Card  Index 

The  card  index  is  necessary  in  numeric  systems  of 
fihng  in  order  to  locate  the  correspondence  of  a  given 
person  or  company.  It  is  also  useful  for  other  purposes, 
such  as  cross  reference  and  keeping  lists  of  possible 
customers. 

By  cross  reference  is  meant  that  a  piece  of  material 
may  be  found  from  any  one  of  several  different  facts,  the 
name,  the  location,  the  subject,  etc.  A  separate  card 
index  may  be  kept  for  each  of  these  sources,  or  by  the  use 
of  signals,  one  card  index  may  serve  to  give  several  kinds 
of  information. 

For  example,  one  concern  giving  instruction  by  cor- 
respondence gives  each  new  student  a  number.   The 


Handling  Correspondence:  Filing  Systems     347 

entry  may  be  "Henry  Jones,  bank  cashier,  graduate  of 
Harvard  University,  Tenth  National  Bank,  Nashville, 
Tennessee."  He  is  given  number  8425.  All  correspond- 
ence with  him  is  filed  under  that  number. 

Three  cards  are  then  made  out.  The  first  is  a  simple 
name  card  to  be  placed  in  the  alphabetic  index.  It 
contains  all  the  facts  as  follows : 


Jones,  Henry  8425 

Nashville,  Tenn. 
Street  address,  121  Main  St. 
Occupation  —  Banking 
Position  —  Cashier 
Education  —  Harvard  Graduate 
Age  —  33 


The  second  card  is  substantially  the  same,  except  that 
the  positions  of  the  name  and  address  are  reversed. 
This  card  goes  into  the  geographic  card  index,  and  is 
grouped  in  the  section  devoted  to  Tennessee  and  the  sub- 
section devoted  to  Nashville.  From  this  index  it  is  pos- 
sible to  find  out  the  names  of  students  in  a  given  state 
or  city. 

A  third  card  goes  into  the  occupation  index  in  the  sec- 
tion devoted  to  financial  work,  and  the  subsection 
devoted  to  banking.  This  card  has  two  signals  attached 
to  it.  One  of  these  by  its  color  and  place  indicates  the 
position  of  cashier;  the  other  by  color  and  place  indicates 
education  at  Harvard  University. 


348  Business  English 

The  cards  in  a  card  index  may  be  of  almost  any  size. 
The  3X5  inch,  the  4X6  inch,  and  the  5X8  inch  are  the 
most  common  and  convenient  sizes.  They  should  always 
be  made  out  so  that  the  most  essential  facts  should  be  as 
near  the  top  as  possible.  Guide  cards  with  tabs  are  used 
to  separate  the  sections  of  a  card  index,  just  as  they  are 
used  in  a  letter  file. 

Files  and  Indexes  as  Aids  to  Memory 

It  may  fairly  be  said  that  files  and  indexes  of  all  kinds 
are  intended  to  serve  as  aids  to  the  memory.  The  stu- 
dent whose  memory  is  good  does  not  feel  the  need  so 
keenly  while  at  school,  but  in  later  business  life  he  will 
discover  that  it  is  impossible  for  any  one  to  remember 
everything.  It  is  wise  to  begin  early  the  practice  of 
filing  facts  and  material  that  may  be  useful  later. 

A  simple  file  to  begin  with,  may  contain  the  notes  of 
lectures  and  lessons  in  school.  Cards  may  be  made  out 
each  day  containing  the  most  important  facts  that  have 
been  learned  and  these  may  be  indexed  by  subjects. 
If  this  is  done,  review  at  the  end  of  the  term  will  become 
a  simple  matter  and  "cramming"  for  examinations  will 
be  unnecessary. 

It  is  even  more  advantageous  to  file  summaries  of 
useful  books  read  outside  school,  together  with  ex- 
tracts from  them.  This  has  the  double  value  of  refresh- 
ing the  subject  in  one's  mind,  and  of  making  it  conven- 
ient to  find  the  information  again  at  a  later  date. 

A  file  of  circular  letters,  advertisements,  or  news- 
paper clippings  may  also  be  kept.  These  can  be  in- 
dexed by  subjects  or  by  firm  names,  with  possibly  a 
card  index  for  cross  reference.  Such  a  file  will  be  val- 
uable later  to  one  who  enters  the  work  of  advertising 
or  correspondence. 


Handling  Correspondence  :  Filing  Systems     349 

In  preparing  for  debates  it  is  almost  essential  to  file 
and  index  the  material  collected.  For  this  purpose 
fairly  large  cards,  say  5X8,  are  best,  as  they  provide 
space  for  tables  of  statistics,  extracts  from  government 
reports,  and  extensive  quotations  from  authorities. 
Newspaper  clippings  can  be  pasted  directly  on  the  cards. 

This  card  index  will  be  found  indispensable  during  the 
debate  to  prepare  for  an  effective  rebuttal  of  the  argu- 
ments presented  by  the  other  side.  Inasmuch  as  speed 
in  finding  the  material  is  absolutely  necessary,  it  is 
well  to  have  duplicate  cards  indexed  according  to  sub- 
jects and  according  to  authors  or  sources.  Then  if  an 
opponent  quotes  a  certain  authority  who  has  also  made 
some  statement  favorable  to  your  own  cause,  it  is  easy 
to  turn  to  the  card  containing  his  statements  and  find 
a  satisfactory  answer  to  the  argument  presented.  Lack- 
ing this  exact  means  of  reference  the  debater  may  have 
a  general  impression  that  the  authority  has  said  some- 
thing favorable  to  his  side,  but  will  be  unable  to  put  his 
finger  upon  the  statement  at  a  time  when  it  would  be 
of  help.  Many  debates  are  won  by  having  a  complete 
and  accurately  indexed  file  of  evidence  at  hand,  for  in- 
stant reference. 

It  has  often  been  said  that  in  the  business  office  the 
knowledge  of  a  certain  fact  is  less  important  than  the 
ability  to  find  the  fact  quickly  and  accurately.  Prac- 
tice in  keeping  a  file  of  some  sort  helps  to  develop  the 
habit  of  doing  work  methodically  and  systematically 
—  a  most  important  trait  of  the  successful  business  man. 


LEGAL  POINTS   IN   CORRESPONDENCE 

There  are  many  points  of  law  which  are  essential  to 
the  writer  of  business  letters,  because  a  neglect  or  viola- 
tion of  them  may  be  productive  of  serious  losses.  This  is 
especially  true  in  the  making  of  contracts  by  mail,  the 
collecting  of  money,  and  the  giving  of  credit  informa- 
tion. 

When  is  a  Contract  Made 

A  contract  usually  consists  of  an  offer  and  an  accep- 
tance, and  it  is  important  to  know  when  the  contract 
is  made.  The  law  holds  that  a  contract  is  made  by  cor- 
respondence when  the  offer  has  been  received  by  mail 
and  the  acceptance  mailed,  or  given  in  some  other 
manner  specified  in  the  offer.  For  example,  A  writes 
to  B  offering  to  sell  a  certain  house  and  lot  for  $5000. 
B  accepts  the  offer  and  mails  his  acceptance.  A  is 
bound  to  sell  the  house  and  lot  at  this  price,  although 
he  may  not  know  he  is  bound  until  the  letter  of  accept- 
ance reaches  him.  Even  though  the  acceptance  is  de- 
layed or  lost  in  the  mails,  the  contract  still  holds  good, 
provided,  of  course,  the  letter  was  properly  stamped 
and  addressed. 

The  justice  of  this  will  be  seen  from  the  fact  that  A 
by  mailing  his  offer  tacitly  designated  the  post  oflBce  as 
the  agent,  and  B  by  delivering  his  acceptance  to  the 
agent  (the  post  office)  thereby  made  a  binding  contract. 
If  A  had  specified  in  his  offer  that  the  acceptance  should 
be  telegraphed,  then  B  would  have  been  obliged  to  tele- 

350 


Legal  Points  in  Correspondence  351 

graph  his  acceptance;  but  as  no  other  method  of  reply 
was  specified,  B  mailed  his  acceptance. 

The  same  principle  holds  good  in  contracts  made  by 
messenger,  by  telegraph,  or  cable  or  in  any  other  way. 
Unless  a  different  method  of  acceptance  is  specified,  the 
same  method  should  be  used  that  was  adopted  by  the 
party  making  the  offer.  Thus: 

1  A  sends  an  offer  to  B  by  messenger  boy;  B  gives 
his  acceptance  to  the  messenger  boy. 

2  A  telegraphs  his  offer;  B  telegraphs  his  acceptance. 

3  A  cables  his  offer;  B  cables  his  acceptance. 

4  A  mails  an  offer  and  requests  the  acceptance  by 
telegraph;  B  telegraphs  his  acceptance. 

If  the  person  receiving  the  offer  sends  his  acceptance 
in  any  other  way  than  that  used  or  specified  by  the  per- 
son making  the  offer,  the  contract  is  not  made  until  the 
acceptance  is  actually  received  by  the  person  making  the 
offer. 

Moreover,  the  acceptance  should  always  be  sent 
within  a  reasonable  time  after  the  receipt  of  the  offer. 
For  instance,  A  makes  an  offer  to  B  by  telegraph.  B 
does  not  telegraph  his  acceptance  until  the  following 
day.  In  the  meantime  the  market  price  of  the  article 
has  changed  and  A  has  telegraphed  a  revocation  of  the 
offer,  but  this  revocation  was  not  received  by  B  until 
after  his  own  telegram  had  been  sent.  The  Court  held 
that  there  was  no  contract,  as  B  had  not  accepted 
within  a  reasonable  time.  Had  B  accepted  by  telegraph 
on  the  same  day  he  received  the  telegraphic  offer,  A 
would  probably  have  been  held. 

Since  a  contract  is  made  by  the  act  of  acceptance  of 
an  offer,  the  law  of  the  State  where  the  acceptance  was 
made  governs  the  transaction. 


352  Business  English 

Revocation  of  Offer 

The  party  making  an  offer  has  the  right  to  revoke  it  or 
withdraw  it  any  time  before  its  acceptance.  This  revo- 
cation, however,  must  reach  the  person  to  whom  the 
offer  is  made  before  he  has  actually  made  his  acceptance 
in  the  manner  designated  or  implied  by  the  offer. 

A  offers  to  sell  a  house  and  lot  to  B  for  $5000.  He 
mails  his  offer  February  15th.  On  February  17th  he 
mails  another  letter  revoking  the  offer.  B  receives  the 
offer  on  the  18th,  mails  his  acceptance  on  the  19th,  and 
receives  the  revocation  on  the  20th.  The  contract  would 
nevertheless  be  made.  Had  A  telegraphed  his  revocation 
on  the  17th,  it  would  have  arrived  before  B  mailed  his 
acceptance,  and  consequently  the  revocation  would  have 
been  effective.  The  important  point  to  know  is  that  a 
revocation  to  be  effective  must  be  received  before  the 
acceptance  is  made. 

It  is  sometimes  possible  to  avoid  this  difficulty  by 
specifying  in  the  offer  that  the  acceptance  must  be  actu- 
ally received  within  some  definite  time. 

Catalogues,  circulars,  and  price  lists  are  not  consid- 
ered as  offers,  but  merely  as  invitations  to  do  business. 

The  acceptance  makes  the  contract;  therefore,  it  is 
not  revocable  unless  expressed  provision  is  made  for  revo- 
cation in  its  statement.  Thus,  when  B  accepts  an  offer 
and  mails  his  acceptance  he  is  legally  bound,  unless  he 
reserves  the  right  of  cancellation  in  some  such  way  as 
the  following:  "I  accept  your  offer  unless  you  get  a  revo- 
cation from  me  by  telegraph  before  this  letter  reaches 
you."  If  he  sends  an  unconditional  acceptance,  he  has  no 
right  of  revocation  which  he  would  not  have  enjoyed 
had  the  contract  been  made  with  both  parties  present  in 
person. 


Legal  Points  in  Correspondence  353 

Stoppage  in  Transitu 

It  sometimes  happens  that  the  seller  ships  goods  on 
account  to  some  party  and  before  they  are  delivered 
learns  of  the  insolvency  of  the  buyer.  He  can  then 
exercise  the  right  of  stoppage  in  transitu.  This  right 
is  dependent  upon  three  conditions: 

1  The  goods  must  not  have  been  paid  for  either 
wholly  or  in  part. 

2  They  must  be  in  the  possession  of  a  third  party 
(usually  a  transportation  company) . 

3  The  buyer  must  be  insolvent  or  otherwise  unable 
to  pay  his  debts. 

The  right  is  exercised  by  demanding  of  the  third  party 
(usually  the  carrier)  not  to  deliver  the  goods  to  the 
consignee. 

A  in  New  York  ships  a  printing  press  to  B  in  Hartford, 
Conn.,  via  the  New  York,  New  Haven  &  Hartford  Rail- 
road. After  the  shipment  A  discovers  that  B  is  insol- 
vent. He  wishes  to  exercise  his  right  of  stoppage  in 
transitu.   He  therefore  mails  the  following  letter: 

March  2,  1916. 
General  Freight  Agent, 

New  York,  New  Haven  &  Hartford  Railroad, 
New  York  City. 

Dear  Sir: 

We  deHvered  to  you  yesterday,  March  1st,  1916,  a 
Gordon  Printing  Press  consigned  to  Blank  &  Blank, 
Hartford,  Conn.  Since  then  circumstances  have  arisen 
which  warrant  us  in  exercising  our  right  of  stoppage  in 
transitu.  Please,  therefore,  hold  goods  subject  to  our 
order. 

Yours  very  truly, 

Harrington  &  Babcock 


354  Business  English 

In  exercising  this  right,  care  must  be  taken  that  the 
buyer  is  actually  insolvent;  otherwise  the  seller  may 
not  only  be  compelled  to*  deliver  the  goods  but  also  may 
be  liable  to  the  buyer  for  damage  resulting  from  the 
stoppage. 

Law  of  Libel 

Second  in  importance  to  the  making  of  contracts  by 
mail  and  telegraph  is  the  matter  of  libel  in  letters.  Libel 
consists  in  the  making  of  statements  that  may  damage 
the  reputation  of  some  person  or  that  are  defamatory. 
To  be  actionable  a  libel  must  be  published;  that  is,  seen 
by  a  third  party.  A  letter  written  by  A  to  B  may  con- 
tain statements  that  are  derogatory  to  B  or  likely  to 
injure  his  reputation,  but  this  does  not  in  itself  consti- 
tute ground  upon  which  B  may  seek  to  recover  damages. 
If  A  shows  the  letter  to  a  third  party  or  allows  it  to  be 
seefi  by  a  third  party,  the  libel  is  published,  and  B  may 
bring  action  against  A. 

Any  libelous  statement  upon  a  post  card  would  there- 
fore be  regarded  as  proper  ground  for  action.  For  that 
reason  it  is  not  permissible  to  send  dunning  letters  or 
collection  notices  upon  a  post  card,  nor  is  it  permissible 
to  have  upon  the  face  of  the  envelope  in  large  type  the 
name  of  a  collection  agency  with  such  mottoes  as  "We 
Get  Results  Where  Others  Fail"  or  "You'll  Have 
To  Pay  Us  Some  Time."  Such  statements  are  re- 
garded as  damaging  to  the  reputation  of  the  person  re- 
ceiving them,  and  their  presence  upon  the  outside  of  a 
card  or  envelope  is  suflScient  to  constitute  publication. 

As  a  rule  not  only  business  courtesy  but  legal  safety 
requires  that  collection  letters  be  inclosed  in  an  envelope, 
and  that  they  contain  no  malicious  or  defamatory  state- 
ments. 


Legal  Points  in  Correspondence  355 

Credit  Information 

Of  equal  importance  is  the  matter  of  giving  credit 
information.  Banks,  mercantile  companies,  and  indi- 
viduals are  frequently  requested  to  give  their  opinion 
as  to  the  credit  rating  and  respon-sibility  of  persons. 
Courtesy  and  a  desire  for  reciprocal  favors  of  a  similar 
nature  usually  prompt  them  to  give  the  information  re- 
quested. They  should  in  all  cases,  however,  be  careful 
to  see  that  they  do  not  either  expressly  or  impliedly  ac- 
cept any  responsibility. 

It  would  not  be  wise  to  reply  to  such  a  request  by 
saying,  "I  advise  you  not  to  give  Mr.  Blank  credit,"  or, 
"We  believe  that  Mr.  Blank  is  not  a  person  to  be 
trusted."  It  would  be  better  to  say,  "We  have  no  infor- 
mation which  would  justify  us  in  recommending  the 
person  about  whom  you  inquire,"  or,  "Our  experience 
with  the  person  about  whom  you  inquire  is  not  such  as 
to  warrant  a  favorable  opinion." 

The  importance  of  carefully  guarding  all  statements 
of  this  kind  is  due  to  the  fact  that,  although  statements 
may  be  true,  it  is  not  easy  to  prove  their  truth. 

In  letters  requesting  credit  information,  especially 
where  the  information  is  unsatisfactory,  it  is  best  not  to 
mention  the  name  of  the  person  but  to  refer  to  the  previ- 
ous letter.  This  is  an  additional  protection  against  pos- 
sible action  because  of  the  publication  of  a  libel. 

The  following  is  a  safe  form  of  letter  used  by  banks  in 
giving  unfavorable  credit  information: 

Gentlemen  : 

We  regret  to  say  in  answer  to  your  letter  of  February 
18th  that  we  have  not  sufficient  information  to  indorse 
the  credit  standing  of  the  person  about  whom  you 
inquire. 

Yours  very  truly. 


PRINTER'S   PROOF   MARKS 

As  advertisements,  booklets,  and  many  other  busi- 
ness English  messages  must  reach  the  reader  in  printed 
form,  the  writer  of  such  messages  should  be  able  to 
supervise  the  printer's  work;  also  he  should  be  able  to 
read  and  correct  the  proof. 

The  manuscript  sent  to  the  printer  is  called  "copy." 
After  the  type  is  set  up  it  is  inked  and  an  impression  of 
it  taken.  This  impression,  called  ''proof,"  is  returned  to 
the  writer  for  correction.  It  is  accompanied  by  the  origi- 
nal copy  for  comparison. 

Proof-reading  must  be  done  with  great  care  so  that 
every  error  shall  be  detected.  Every  word,  every  letter, 
every  punctuation  mark  must  be  scrutinized.  Errors 
are  marked  where  they  occur,  and  corrections  written 
in  the  margin  opposite  the  end  of  the  line.  If  several 
errors  occur  in  a  single  line,  corrections  in  the  margin 
should  be  in  the  same  order  as  the  errors  and  should  be 
separated  by  diagonal  lines. 

Certain  signs,  or  printer's  "proof  marks,  for  pointing  out 
common  errors  and  correcting  them,  are  in  general  use. 
A  list  of  these  is  given.  If  other  directions  for  the  printer 
need  to  be  given,  they  should  be  inclosed  in  a  "ring  "  so 
as  not  to  be  confused  with  new  material  to  be  inserted. 
For  greater  safety  the  words  "To  the  printer:"  may  be 
prefaced  to  these  directions. 

^yS  (dele)  Take  out 

^  Turn  an  inverted  letter 

£7  Indent 

^^^  Directs  that  space  be  taken  out 

//  Correct  the  alignment 

~  Straighten  line 
356 


Printer's  Proof  Marks  357 

/^^  Indicates  more  space  between  words  or  letters 

gr^  4^  Equalize  spacing 

A^  Indicates  an  insertion 

\/^  Indicates  less  space  between  words  and  letters 

y^  Indicates  broken  or  imperfect  type 

v£/  Indicates  a  lead  spacer  which  shows  in  print 

/iJji^  Let  it  remain  as  set;  change  marked  was  wrong 

^  Make  new  paragraph 

'^\^  ^  Run  in  without  paragraphing  . 

/—      Indicates  that  a  word  or  line  is  to  be  moved  towards 
the  face  of  the  bracket,  whichever  way  turned 

=•  Insert  a  hyphen 

Cy  Insert  a  period 

V  Insert  an  apostrophe 

\y^  ^  Insert  double  quotation  marks 

V     ^  Use  single  quotation  marks 

JuQy  (lower  case)  Use  small  (common)  letters 

^"'^^  Use  capitals 

LaVJ(  Set  in  italics 

/IC^yyi  Set  in  Roman  type 

ZA^  Transpose  letters  or  words 

(wrong  font)  Directs  attention  to  a  letter  of  a  wrong 
size  or  style 

7  ^rt  N^^^         Query  as  to  spelling  or  use  of  language  or  fact 
OiU'tj^JU,   ^^^t4^  Compare  with  copy 

Cij^y\X/U\^        '^^^  ^"  middle  of  line  or  page 
Q^u-lM/ijLAyrk  Carry  forward  to  next  line 

/?  (7    t       Insert  a  lead  (a  narrow  strip  of  metal  Used  for  spac- 

mg  between  Imes) 


(^ 


358  Business  English 


Marked  Proof  of  Uncorrected  Page 

O    The  cry  of  the  first   boy  was,   Shine  your  J^ 
boots  here."   It  announced  the  simple  fact 
that    he  was  prepared  to  shine  theirjboots.  kL 
(Mf  pie  cry  of  the  second  boy  was^'*Get  your  ^ 

Sunday  shine!"  It  was  then  Saturday  after- 
*H  noon,  and  the^  hour  was  four  oclock.   This  ^ 
/un^  secondhoy  employed  imagination.  He  related 
Xo  one  attraction  another;  he  joined  /^cts  to-   K 

gether;  his  four  simple  words  told  all  that  the 
TJ^  first  boy  said,  and  a  "great  deal  more.  I^con- ^ 
C  veyed  the  information,  not  simply  that  he  was 

there  to  shine  sho/s,  but  that  to-morrow  was  fi^ 
7^  Sunday;  thatfrom  present  appearances  it  was  (^^ 
kL  likely  to[be  a  pleasant  day;  that  he,  as  a  boot- 
yO  black  realized  they  wou^d  need  an  extra  good 
jtcy  shine;  i^nd,  somehow,  the  sentence  had  in  it  a 
gentle  reminder  that  the  person  on  whose  ears 
0    [it  fell  had  heretofore  overlookedjthe^tha^fact  ^/^ 
c^the  next  day  was  the^abbath,  and  thftt-any   ^^^^ 

c:-  self^specting  Christian  would  wish  his  shoes 
/^   shine^  before   he  repaired   to   the  sanctuary    0 
^^  ^     Perhaps  it  was  merely  good  luck  that  this  boy 

secured  twice  *^the  business  of  the  other,  but  I  ^^ 
^==-  have  secft  too  niany  of  such  exggni^^  to         -_ 

of   think^tBlS  as  accidental. " 

D eland:  Imagination  in  Business     juhx^ 
(Copyright,  1909,  by  Harper  &  Brothers  v 


Printer's  Proof  Marks  359 


Proof  of  Corrected  Page 

The  cry  of  the  first  boy  was,  "Shine  your 
boots  here."  It  announced  the  simple  fact 
that  he  was  prepared  to  shine  their  boots. 
The  cry  of  the  second  boy  was,  *'Get  your 
Sunday  shine!"  It  was  then  Saturday  after- 
noon, and  the  hour  was  four  o'clock.  This 
second  boy  employed  imagination.  He  related 
one  attraction  to  another;  he  joined  facts  to- 
gether; his  four  simple  words  told  all  that  the 
first  boy  said,  and  a  great  deal  more.  It  con- 
veyed the  information,  not  simply  that  he  was 
there  to  shine  shoes,  but  that  to-morrow  was 
Sunday;  that  from  present  appearances  it  was 
likely  to  be  a  pleasant  day;  that  he,  as  a  boot- 
black, realized  they  would  need  an  extra  good 
shine;  and,  somehow,  the  sentence  had  in  it  a 
gentle  reminder  that  the  person  on  whose  ears 
it  fell  had  heretofore  overlooked  the  fact  that 
the  next  day  was  the  Sabbath,  and  that  any 
self-respecting  Christian  would  wish  his  shoes 
shined  before  he  repaired  to  the  sanctuary. 
Perhaps  it  was  merely  good  luck  that  this  boy 
secured  twice  the  business  of  the  other,  but  I 
have  seen  too  many  of  such  experiences  to 
think  of  them  as  accidental. 

Deland  :  Imagination  in  Business 
(Copyright,  1909,  by  Harper  &  Brothers) 


ABBREVIATIONS 

Abbreviations  are  used  in  business  messages  for  the 
sake  of  brevity.  Whenever  there  is  any  danger  that 
abbreviations  may  not  be  understood,  and  whenever 
dignity  is  an  important  consideration,  words  should  be 
spelled  out  in  full. 
.  These  are  the  chief  rules  for  abbreviations: 

1  Titles  may  be  abbreviated  only  when  used  with  the 
full  name.  They  should  be  spelled  in  full  when  the 
surname  only  is  given. 

Examples :    General  Logan;  Gen.  John  Logan.  Pro- 
fessor James;  Prof.  Lewis  James. 

2  Scholastic  degrees  and  titles  after  names  may  be 
abbreviated. 

Examples:    John  James  Langworthy ,  M.A. ;  Edison 
Fuller,  Ph.D. 

3  Initial  letters  indicating  membership  in  a  society. 
Example:  Edward  Johns,  I.O.O.F. 

4  Initials  used  with  figures  to  indicate  a  specific  point 
of  time. 

Examples:  6  a.m.;  637  B.C. 

5  Names  of  towns  should  not  be  abbreviated. 

6  Christian  names  should  be  spelled  in  full  or  desig- 
nated by  initials.   Exceptions:  Wm.,  Thos. 

7  Names  of  states  and  territories  should  not  be  abbre- 
viated when  used  alone  or  when  the  name  of  the 
county  only  and  not  the  name  of  the  city  is  given. 

360 


Abbreviations  361 

Examples:  Illinois  lies  west  of  Indiana. 

Lake  County,  Indiana,  borders  on  Lake 
Michigan. 

At  Jacksonville,  111.,  there  is  an  institu- 
tion for  the  blind. 

8  The  words  north,  south,  east,  and  west,  should  not 
be  abbreviated  when  they  form  part  of  a  geographi- 
cal name,  unless  the  whole  name  is  abbreviated. 

Example:  South  America,  not  So.  America. 

9  All  words  that  can  be  abbreviated  only  by  the  omis- 
sion of  one  letter  should  be  written  in  full. 

Examples:  Do   not  write  '^Jno."   for  *'John,"  or 
"Jul."  for ''July." 

10  The  names  of  months  are  abbreviated  only  in  dates, 
bills,  statements,  etc. 

Abbreviations  of  States 

The  following  abbreviations  of  states,  territories,  and 
possessions  are  those  recognized  as  official  by  the  Post 
Office  Department: 

Alabama Ala.  Kansas Kans. 

Arizona Ariz.  Kentucky Ky. 

Arkansas Ark.  Louisiana La. 

California Cal.  Maryland Md. 

Canal  Zone C.Z.  Massachusetts. .  .Mass. 

Colorado Colo.  Michigan Mich. 

Connecticut Conn.  Minnesota Minn. 

Delaware Del.  Mississippi Miss. 

District  of  Columbia. D.C.  Missouri Mo. 

Florida Fla.  Montana Mont. 

Georgia Ga.  Nebraska Nebr. 

Illinois 111.  Nevada Nev. 

Indiana Ind.  New  Hampshire .  N.H. 


362 


Business 


New  Jersey N.J. 

New  Mexico N.Mex. 

New  York N.Y. 

North  Carolina.  .  .N.C. 
North  Dakota . . .  .N.Dak. 

Oklahoma Okla. 

Pennsylvania Pa. 

Philippine  Islands .  P.I. 

Porto  Rico P.R. 

Rhode  Island R.I. 


English 

South  Carolina .  .  .S.C. 
South  Dakota ....  S.Dak. 

Tennessee Tenn. 

Texas Tex. 

Vermont Vt. 

Virginia Va. 

Washington Wash. 

West  Virginia ....  W.  Va. 

Wisconsin Wis. 

Wyoming Wyo. 


The  following  should  not  be  abbreviated: 

Alaska     Hawaii    Iowa       Ohio         Samoa 
Guam      Idaho      Maine     Oregon     Utah 

Commercial  abbreviations,  signs,  and  contractions 


abst abstract 

acct.  or  a/c  account 

A.  D In  the  year  of 

our  Lord 
(Since  the 
birth  of 
Christ) 

advt.  or  ad.  advertisement 

agt agent 

A.  M forenoon 

amt amount 

ans answer 

assn association 

asst assistant 

asst assorted 

av average 

Ave avenue 

Al first  class 

bal balance 


bbl barrel 

bdl bundle 

bds boards 

B  /E bill  of  exchange 

bkt basket 

B/L bill  of  lading 

bldg building 

blk black 

b.  o buyer's  option 

bu bushel 

B/P bills  payable 

B/R bills  receivable 

B/S bill  of  sale 

bt bought 

bx box 

via by  way  of 

c.  or  cts.  .  .  cents 

c.  a.  f cost  and  freight 

cap capital 


Abbreviations 


363 


chap chapter 

chgd charged 

chgs charges 

c.  i.  f cost,  insurance, 

freight 

Co company 

C/0 care  of 

C.  O.  D. . .  .cash  on  de- 
livery 

com commercial 

com commission 

const consignment 

cr crate 

cr credit,  creditor 

c/s  or  cs.  .  .cases 

ctge cartage 

c.  w.  o cash  with  order 

cwt hundredweight 

d pence 

dep deposit 

dept department 

dft draft 

disct discount 

div.  .......  dividend 

do ditto  (the  same) 

doz dozen 

dr debtor 

ea each 

e.  e errors  excepted 

Eng English 

entd entered 

etc et  cetera  (and 

so  forth) 

ex example 

exch.  or  ex. .  exchange 


exp expense 

exp express 

e.  g for  example 

F.  A.  S free  aside  ship 

f.  or  fol. .  .  .folio 

fcp foolscap 

fig figure 

F.  O.  B. .  .  .free  on  board 
for'd forward 

Fr French 

f  r francs 

frt.  or  fgt.  .  freight 

ft feet  or  foot 

gal gallon 

gen.  or  gen'l. general 

gi gill 

G.  T.  C... good  till 

cancelled 

gr grain 

gr.  gro great  gross 

gro gross 

guar guarantee 

C hundred 

hdkf handkerchief 

hf half 

hhd hogshead 

h.  p horse  power 

hund hundred 

i.  e that  is 

imp imported 

in inches 

Inc Incorporated 

ins insurance 


364 


Business  English 


inst instant  (the 

present 
month) 

int interest 

inv invoice 

invt inventory 

I.  O.  U.  .  .   I  owe  you 

jour journal 

Jr junior 

ult last  month 

lb pound  or 

pounds 

1.  t long  ton 

Ltd limited    (With 

name  of  Brit- 
ish firm  it  sig- 
nifies a  lim- 
ited liability 
corporation) 

M thousand 

m.  or  min.  .minute 

mdse merchandise 

mem.  or  memo. 

memorandum 

mfd manufactured 

mfg manufacturing 

mf  r manufacturer 

mgr manager 

Ms manuscript 

Mss manuscripts 

viz namely 

prox next  month 

n.  b note  carefully 


no number 

nos numbers 

N.  P Notary  Public 

O.  K all  correct 

oz ounce     or 

ounces 

P page 

p  &  1 profit  and  loss 

payt payment 

p.  c per  cent 

pc piece 

pd paid 

pk peck 

pkg package 

P.  M afternoon 

p.  o post  oflBce 

pr pair 

pref preferred 

pres president 

P.  S postscript 

PP pages 

qr quarter 

qt quart 

rec'd received 

recr receiver 

reg registered 

R.  R railroad 

ret returned 

Ry railway 

s shillings 

S/D sight  draft 

sdy sundries 

sec.  or  secy,  secretary 


Abbreviations  365 

sh share  to tierces 

shipt shipment  tel teh^graph 

sq square  tr transpose 

Sr Senior  treas treasurer 

St .saint 

St street  v.  or  vs. .  .  .  versus 

stbt.. steamboat  ves vessel 

stor storage  vol volume 

str steamer 

super superfine  W/B way  bill 

supt superintendent  wt weight 

t.b trial  balance  yd.. yard 

t.f till  forbidden  yr year 

Commercial  Characters 

@ at  % care  of 

«/c> account  i cents 

& and  $ dollars 

% per  cent  £ pounds  sterling 


.  number 


INDEX 


Abbreviations,  rules  for,  360. 

tables  of,  361. 
Ability  and  capacity ^  54. 
Absolute  participial  phrase,  35. 
Accept  and  except ^  54. 
Acceptance  and  acceptation,  54. 
Access  and  accession^  54. 
Accredit  and  credit,  54. 
Action,  stimulating,  268. 
Adaptation  to  customer,  3-7, 273. 
Address,  inside,  114. 

outside,  122. 

exercises,  115. 
Adjective  modifiers,  46. 
Adjectives  and  adverbs  confused, 

46,  55, 
Adjustment  to  reader,  9, 153,  238. 

exercises,  241,  273. 
Adjustments,  197. 
Adverbial  modifiers,  25,  46. 
Advertisements,  answers  to,  234. 
Advertising,      classification     of, 
295-305. 

functions  of,  294. 
Advertising  copy,  classified,  295. 

display,  297. 

human-interest,  304. 

principles  of,  301. 

publicity,  296. 

qualities  of,  299. 

reason-why,  302. 

relation  of  display  to,  305. 

relation  of  sales  letter  to,  294. 

retail,  307. 

exercises,  310. 


Advise,  claim,  say,  state,  54. 
A  feet  and  efect,  55. 
Affectation  in  writing,  162. 
Agent's  signature,  120. 

title,  128. 
Agreement,  of  pronoun  with  an- 
tecedent, 30. 

of  subject  with  predicate,  30. 

exercises,  32. 
Alias,  49. 
Alibi,  49. 

Allow  and  permit,  59. 
Almost  and  most,  55. 
Alone,  adverbal  modifier,  25. 
Alphabetic  filing,  334. 
Alternative  and  choice,  55. 
Alternative,  connective  to  indi- 
cate, 28. 
Also,  misuse  of,  29. 
Ambiguity  in  sentence,  32. 
Ambiguous  ideas,  12. 
Among  and  between,  55. 
Analysis  of  commodity,  262. 
And  which,  30. 
Anglo-Saxon  diction,  76. 
Answers  to  hurry-up  letters,  195. 
Antagonizing  the  customer,  206. 
Antecedent  of  pronoun,  30. 
Anticlimax,  71. 
Application  letters,  231. 

for  advertised  position,  234. 

for  recommended  position,  242. 

individual  appeal,  232. 

unsolicited,  246. 

exercises,  241,  248. 


368 


Business  English 


Appeal  to  various  classes,  273. . 
Apt,  liable  and  likely,  55. 
Aptness  in  figurative  language,  79. 
Arousing  desire,  261. 
Article,  repetition  of,  17. 
Articles,  for  human-interest  copy, 
305. 
for  reason- why  copy,  304. 
As  and  like,  59. 
As  and  thaty  55. 
As -as;  so-as,  56. 
Atmosphere  in  copy,  78. 
Attention,  getting,  255. 
Automatic  filing  system,  342. 

Balance,  56. 
Balanced  sentence,  70. 

exercises,  70. 
Bank  draft,  141. 
Bargain  sales,  307. 
Beginning  of  a  letter,  176. 
Between  and  among,  55. 
Billboard  advertising,  296. 
Body  of  letter,  117. 
Bound  and  determined,  56. 
Brevity  in  letter,  156. 
Bring,  carry,  fetch,  take,  56. 
Business  correspondence,  153. 
Business  English,  illustration,  2. 

purpose  of,  4. 

style  of,  8,  12. 
Business  forms  and  usage,  103. 
Business  letter,  form  of,  110. 

language  of,  153. 

qualities  of,  155. 
Business  men,  letters  to,  275. 
Business  narrative.  322. 
Business  stationery,  105. 

Cablegrams,  150. 
exercises,  152. 


Campaign  systems,  286. 
Capacity  and  ability,  54, 
Carbon  copy,  332. 
Card  file,  344. 
Card  index,  345. 
Card  signal,  345. 
Carry,  bring,  fetch,  56. 
Cause  connective,  29. 
Change  of  construction,  25. 

after  correlatives,  26. 

parallel  construction,  26. 

subject,  25. 

voice,  26. 
Character,  adjustment  to,  154. 
Character  in  letters,  160. 
Checks,  cashier's,  143. 

certified,  142. 

personal,  142. 
Choice  and  alternative,  55, 
Choice  connectives,  28. 
Cipher  words,  150. 
Claim  and  state,  54. 
Claims  and  adjustments,  197. 

answering,  199. 

poor  quality,  204. 

routine,  199. 

unjust,  205. 

exercises,  209. 
Class  of  prospects,  286. 
Class  publications,  306. 
Classes,  appeal  to  difl^erent,  273. 
Classification  of  instincts,  262. 
Classified  advertising,  295. 
Clearness  in  letter,  156. 
Clearness  in  sentence,  12, 16,  24. 

methods  of  securing,  16. 

repetition  for,  17. 

exercises,  18. 
Climactic  order,  in  paragraph,  97. 
Climax  in  sentence,  71. 

exercises,  72. 


Index 


369 


Close  of  letter,  119. 
Codes,  in  telegrams,  150. 
Coherence  in  advertising  copy, 

302. 
Coherence  in  paragraph,  94. 
Coherence  in  sentence,  definition 
of,  24. 

violations  of,.  24. 

exercises,  25,  27,  30. 
Coin  card,  139. 
Coined  words,  50. 
Collection  letters,  211. 

arrangement  of,  214. 

classification  of,  214. 

informal  appeals  in,  218-228. 

problems  affecting,  212-214. 

exercises,  215,  225,  230. 
Collective  nouns,  31. 
Colloquial  use,  275. 

misuse,  276. 
Colon,  19,  37. 

Combination  filing  system,  341. 
Comma,  18^  36. 

Commodity,  knowledge  of,  262. 
Comparison,  44. 
Comparison  connective,  28. 
Competing    articles,    knowledge 

of,  262. 
Completeness,  157. 
Complimentary  close,  119. 
Concession  connective,  29. 
Conciseness  in  letter,  156. 
Concrete  nouns,  75. 
Concreteness,    in    advertising 
copy,  299. 

in  diction,  75,  263. 

in  sales  letter,  258,  267. 
Condition  connectives,  29. 
Connectives,useof,  19,27-29, 173. 

list  of,  28,  29,  99. 
Construction  of  letters,  167. 


Constructive  principle  in  adver- 
tising, 301. 
Continuous  follow-up  system,  290. 
Contrast  connectives,  28. 
Convincing  in  sales  letter,  266. 
Co-operate  and  together,  5Q. 
Co-ordinating  connectives,  28. 
Copies  of  letters,  332. 
Copy,  advertising,  294. 
Copy  reminders,  309. 
Corporation  signatures,  120. 
Correctness,  of  diction,  49. 

in  sentence,  13,  40. 

reason  for,  40. 

exercises,  47-48,  62-63. 
Correlatives,  26. 
Correspondence,  filing,  333. 

handling,  331. 
Cost  of  article,  285. 
Council  and  counsel ,  5Q. 
Courtesy  in  letter,  157,  193. 
Credible  and  creditable,  5Q. 
Credit  and  accredit,  54. 
Credit  information,  354. 
Credit  rating  of  customer,  213. 
Cross    reference    card    index, 

346. 
Custom  and  habit,  5Q. 
Customer  adaptation  to,  154. 

Dash,  use  of,  37. 
Dealer,  letters  to,  274. 
Debtors,  classes  of,  213. 
Deductive  reasoning,  96. 
Definitive  and  definite,  57. 
Demonstrations  as  proof,  267. 
Department    store    advertising, 

307. 
Descriptive  order  in  paragraph, 

96. 
Desire,  creating,  261. 


370 


Business  English 


Determined  and  hound,  56. 
Dewey  Decimal  System  in  filing, 

341. 
Diction,  classical,  77. 
Different  classes,  appeal  to,  273, 

306. 
Different  classes  of  debtors,  213. 
Directly,  57. 
Disagree,  57. 

Discovery  and  invention,  57. 
Display  advertising,  297. 

relation  to  copy,  305. 
Distinct  and  distinctive,  57. 
Distinctiveness  in  copy,  300. 
Distinguishing     characteristic, 

finding  the,  262. 
Divisions  of  letter,  110. 
Doctors,  letters  to,  277. 
Double  negative,  46. 

Economy,   in  advertising  copy, 
299. 

in  diction,  49. 
Educational  letters,  284. 
Effect  and  affect,  55, 
Either  and  any,  57. 
Electric  signs,  296. 
Emphasis,  in  copy,  302. 

in  diction,  75. 

in  letter,  175. 

in  paragraph,  101. 

exercises,  78,  80. 
Enormity  and  enormousness,  57. 
Envelope,  how  to  open,  331. 
Essential  qualities  of  letters,  153. 
Euphony,  81. 
Every  one,  verb  with,  31. 
Evidence,  in  sales  letters,  267. 
Exaggeration,  77. 
Except  and  accept,  54. 
Exceptional  and  exceptionable,  57. 


Exercises.    See  separate  index. 
Expect,   suspect,   and   suspicion, 

58. 
Experience,  near  to  reader's,  79. 
Express  money  order,  140. 
Expression    versus    impression, 

4-7. 

Facts,  in  sales  letter,  266. 
Farmers,  letters  to,  278. 
Fetch,  bring,  carry,  56. 
Figurative  language,  80. 
Figures,  rules  for  writing,  110. 
Filing  systems,  333. 

alphabetic,  334. 

card  index,  345. 

combination,  341. 

follow-up,  342. 

geographic,  336. 

numeric,  339. 

requirements  of,  333. 

signal,  344. 

subject,  337. 
Find  and  locate,  58. 
Flat-box  file,  333. 
Flat-drawer  file,  334. 
Floaters,  243. 
Folding  the  letter,  123. 
Follow-up  filing  system,  342. 
Follow-up  letters,  284. 

campaign,  286. 

continuous,  290. 

plan  of,  284. 

reason  for,  284. 

types  of,  286. 

wear-out,  288. 

exercises,  293. 
Force  in  diction,  75. 

in  sentence,  13,  64,  75-77. 

exercises,  65,  73,  78,  80. 
Force  in  paragraph,  101. 


Index 


371 


Foreign  drafts,  141. 
Foreign  words  and  phrases,  49. 
Form,  correctness  in,  103. 
Form  letters,  273. 
Formal  notifications,  in  collect- 
ing money,  215. 

exercises,  217-218. 
Formal  official  letters,  126. 

exercises,  130. 
Formal  social  letters,  135. 

exercises,  138. 
Fragmentary  ideas,  20. 
Free  trial,  268. 
Functions  of  a  sales  letter,  255. 

arousing  desire,  261. 

attracting  attention,  255. 

convincing,  266. 

stimulating  action,  268. 

General  statements,  76. 
Geographical  filing,  336. 
"Getting  across,"  299. 
Good    beginning    of    a    letter, 

260. 
Grammar  versus  usage,  40. 
Grotesque  copy,  301. 
Guarantee,  268. 
Guess y  58. 
Guide  cards,  334,  342. 

Habit  and  custom,  5Q. 
Had  ought,  58. 
Handling  mail,  331. 
Hanged  and  hung,  58. 
Heading  of  letter,  110. 

exercises,  112. 
Headline,  characteristics  of,  306. 

display  in,  305. 

examples  of,  306. 
Healthy,  heathful  and  wholesome, 
58. 


Hire,  lease,  and  let,  58. 
Human-interest  copy,  304. 
Humor  appeal,  224. 
Hung  and  hanged,  58. 
Hurry-up  letters,  192-195. 

answers  to,  195. 

exercises,  196. 

Idioms,  42. 

Important  words,  position  of,  67. 

exercises,  68. 
Impression     versus     expression, 

4-7,  12. 
Inclosure,  189. 
Incorrect  punctuation,  18. 

exercises,  20. 
Indention  of  paragraphs,  86. 

in  letter,  118. 
Individualistic  style,  307. 
Inducement,  in  sales  letter,  269, 

270. 
Inductive  reasoning,  96. 
Informal    letters,    official,    129- 
131. 

social,  131-135. 

exercises,  131. 
Ink,  117. 
Inquiry  letters,  182-184. 

answers  to,  185. 

exercises,  186. 
Instincts,  classification  of,  262. 
Introduction  of  report,  317. 
Invention  and  discovery,  57. 
Invitations,  answers  to,  136. 

examples  of,  134. 

formal,  135 

informal,  131. 

exercises,  135. 
Irrelevant  ideas,  21. 

Justice  appeal,  220. 


372 


Business  English 


Knowledge  of  eompeting  article, 
262. 

Language  of  business,  8. 

Last  appeal,  29 L 

Lay  and  licy  58. 

Leader,  in  store  advertising,  307. 

Learn  and  teach,  59. 

Lease,  hire  and  let,  58. 

Legal  points,  350. 

Letterhead,  108-109. 

Letter  press,  332. 

Liable  and  aj)t,  55. 

Lihel  law,  353. 

Lie  and  lay,  58. 

Like  and  as,  59. 

Likely  and  a^^,  55. 

Localisms,  50. 

Localities,  filing  by,  336. 

Locate  and  find,  58. 

Loose  sentence,  69. 

Mail,  how  to  open,  331. 
Majority  and  plurality,  59. 
Make-up  of  letter,  110-124. 

exercises,  123. 
Manner  connectives,  29. 
Margin  of  profit,  285. 
Marks  for  proof,  356. 
Marks  of  quotation,  37. 
Mechanical  make-up  of  letter,  110. 
Metaphor,  use  of,  79. 

mixed,  80. 
Misused  words,  53-60. 

exercises,  61. 
Mood,  adaptation  to,  155. 
Most  and  almost,  55. 
Multigraphed  letter,  277. 

Narrative,  business,  322. 
Narrative  order  in  paragraph,  94. 


Nature  of  proposition,  285. 
Negative  suggestion,  79. 
Never  and  seldom,  60. 
Newspaper  advertising,  307. 
Nominative  case  in  absolute  con- 
struction, 26. 
Numeric  filing,  339. 

Obscure  ideas,  12. 
Observation  in  })usiness,  82* 
Official  letters,  125. 

examples,  127,  129,  130. 

formal,  126. 

informal,  129. 

exercises,  130,  131. 
Omissions,  85. 

Only,  adverbial  modifier,  25. 
Ordering  letters,  187. 

answers,  189-190. 

exercises,  191. 
Origin  of  paragraph,  85. 
Originality  of  expression,  77. 

Paging  letters,  118. 
Paragraph,  85,  102. 

coherence  in,  94. 

emphasis  in,  101. 

origin  of,  85. 

single  sentence,  86. 

unity  in,  90. 

exercises,  89,  94,  100,  102. 
Parallelism,  26. 
Part  and  portion,  59. 
Participial  construction,  26. 
Participle,  dangling,  34. 

position  of,  35. 

exercises,  35. 
Party  and  person,  59. 
Per,  120. 
Period,  18. 


Index 


373 


Periodic  sentence,  69. 

exercises,  70. 
Permit  and  allow,  59. 
Person  and  'party,  59. 
Personal  appeal  in  collection  let- 
ters, 214,  218. 

to  justice,  220. 

to  self-interest,  221. 

to  sense  of  humor,  224. 

to  sympathy,  218. 

exercises,  225. 
Personality  in  advertising  copy, 

307. 
Personification,  79. 
Placing  of  modifiers,  24. 

exercises,  25. 
Plentiful,    plenty,    quite,   rather, 

very,  59. 
Plurality  and  majority,  59. 
Portion  and  part,  59. 
Position  of  important  words,  67. 
Positive  suggestion,  79. 
Possessives,  45. 
Post  cards,  misuse  of,  353. 
Postal  money  orders,  140. 
Postscript,  121. 
Practical  and  practicable,  59. 
"Predicament"  copy,  302. 
Premiums,  use  of,  222. 
Prepositional  ending,  QQ, 
Price  appeal,  266,  278. 
Printer's  proof  marks,  356. 
Professional  men,  letters  to,  276. 
Profit,  margin  of,  285. 
Pronoun,  reference  of,  32. 

exercises,  33. 
Proof  marks,  356. 
Proposal  and  proposition,  60. 
Proposition,  nature  of,  285. 
Proposition  and  proposal,  60. 
Prospects,  class  of,  286. 


Psychological  command,  269. 
Publicity  advertising,  296. 
"Punch,"  13. 

in  advertising  copy,  299. 
Punctuation,  aid  to  clearness,  18, 
36. 

exercises,  20,  38. 
Punctuation,  incorrect,  18. 

Qualities  of  business  letter,  153- 
166. 

adaptation  to  reader,  153. 

coherence,  171. 

emphasis,  175. 

unity,  167. 
Quite,  rather,  very,  59. 
Quotation  marks,  37. 

Rather,  very,  quite,  59. 
Reader's  experience,  adjustment 

to,  260. 
Real  and  really,  60. 
Reason-why  copy,  302. 
Recommendation,  letters  of,  244. 

exercises,  248. 
Reference  of  pronouns,  32. 

exercises,  33. 
Registered  mail,  140. 
Relation  of  participles,  34. 

exercises,  35. 
Relevancy  in  sales  letters,  259. 
Remittances,  139. 

exercises,  143. 
Repetition,  68,  99. 
Replies  to  invitations,  137. 
Reports,  311-321. 

body  of,  319. 

conclusion  of,  321. 

display  of,  313. 

illustration,  316. 

introduction  of,  317. 


374 


Business  English 


nature  and  purpose  of,  311. 
outline  of,  314. 
qualities  of,  312. 
exercises,  320. 
Requirements   of   the   headline. 

Requirements    of    sales    letter, 
opening  of,  260. 
examples,  260. 
Result  connectives,  28. 
Retail  advertising,  307. 
Routine  letters,  182. 

Sales  letters,  249-272. 

functions  of,  253. 

personal  touch  in,  250. 

right  viewpoint,  249,  273. 

to  business  men,  275. 

to  dealers,  274. 

to  farmers,  278. 

to  professional  men,  276. 

to  women,  280. 

exercises,  271,  282. 
Sales    letters    and     advertising, 

249. 
Salesmanship  on  paper,  249. 
Sajutation,  in  letter,  115. 

exercises,  116. 
Samey  60. 
Satisfaction-guaranteed     policy, 

281. 
Say  and  state,  54. 
Scope  of  business  English,  1. 
Seldom  or  never,  60. 
Selecting     the     talking    points, 

262. 
Self-interest  appeal,  221. 
Semicolon,  19,  37. 
Sense  appeal,  263. 
Sequence  of  tenses,  45. 
Set  and  sit,  60. 


Shall  and  will,  51. 

exercises,  53. 
Short  paragraph,  86. 
Signals,  use  in  filing,  344,  347. 
Signature,  120. 
Silver,  remitting,  139. 
Simile,  79. 
Simple  figures  of  speech,  use  of, 

79. 
Simple  words,  76. 
Simplifying  the  adjustment,  203. 
Sit  and  Set,  60. 
Slang,  50,  274. 
Slogan,  70,  296. 
So-as  and  as-as,  56. 
Social  letters,  formal,  135. 

informal,  131. 

exercises,  135,  138. 
Some  and  somewhat,  60. 
Source  of  knowledge,  connective 

to  indicate,  28. 
Special  inducement,  270. 
Special  request,  184. 
Specific  words,  75. 
Split  infinitives,  45. 
Stamps,  remitting,  139. 
Standard  business  usage,  103. 
State  and  say,  54. 
Stationery,  105. 
Stay  and  stop,  60. 
Stimulating  action,  268. 
Stop  and  stay,  60. 
Stoppage  in  transitu,  352. 
Subject,  change  of,  25. 

agreement  of,  30. 
Subject  filing,  337. 
Subordinating  connectives,  28. 
Suggestion,  78,  82. 

in  description,  264. 

in  sales  letters,  259. 
Sympathy  appeal,  218. 


Index 


375 


Take,  bring,  carry,  5Q. 

Talking    points    of    commodity, 

261. 
Teach  and  learn,  59. 
Technical  language,  154,  299. 
Telegrams,  145. 

exercises,  152. 
Telling  the  truth,  77. 
Tense,  sequence  of,  45. 
Testimony,  267. 
Tests  to  convince,  267. 
That  and  as,  55. 
That  and  what,  60. 
Threats,  214,  226. 

exercises,  230. 
"Tickler"  file,  342. 
Time  connectives,  28. 
Time  stamp,  in  handling  mail, 

331. 
Together  and  co-operate,  56. 
I'rade  mark,  296. 
Transposition  for  emphasis,  70. 
Triplicate,  drafts  in,  141. 
Triteness,  77,  80,  258. 
Truth,  telling  the,  77. 

Unfair  adjustment,  handling  the, 

205. 
Unimportant  words,  position  of, 

65. 
Unity,  in  advertising  copy,  301. 
in  letter,  167. 


in  paragraph,  90. 

exercises,  94,  179,  310. 
Unity,  definition  of,  16. 

violations  of,  16. 

ways  of  securing,  21. 

exercises,  22. 
Unjust  claims,  205. 
Unnecessary  words,  64. 

exercises,  65. 
Usage  and  grammar,  40. 

Vagueness  in  ideas,  12. 
Verboseness,  64. 
Vertical  file,  334. 
Very,  quite,  rather,  59. 
Visualizing  the  article,  264. 
Vulgarisms,  50. 

Weak  endings,  65. 

exercises,  68. 
Wear-out  campaigns,  288. 
What  and  that,  60. 
When  connectives,  28. 
Wholesome  and  healthy,  58. 
Will  and  shall,  51. 

exercises,  53. 
Women,  letters  to,  280. 
Word  order,  24. 
Would,  52. 


"You    attitude," 
153,  250. 


2-7,   11,   14, 


Exercises 

Address,  115.  Agreement  of  pronoun  with  ante- 
Adjustment  to  reader,  165-166,            cedent,  32. 

241-242.  Application     letters,      241-242, 

Advertising  copy,  310.  248-249. 


376 


Business  English 


Balanced  sentences,  70-71. 
Business  attitude,  14. 
Business   narrative,   general   re- 
view of  all  points,  329-330. 

Cablegrams,  152. 

Claims  and  adjustments,  209-210. 

Clearness  in  sentence,  18,  21,  22- 

23,  30,  32,  33-34,  35-36,  38- 

39,  82-84. 
Climax,  72. 
Coherence   in  sentence,   25,   27, 

30,  32,  33-34,  35-36. 
Collection  letters,  215,  217,  225, 

230. 
Correctness  in   diction,   53,    61, 

73,  78,  80-81. 
Correctness   in  sentence,  47-48, 

62-63,  82-84. 

Emphasis,  73-74. 

Follow-up  letters,  293. 

Force  in  sentence,  65,  66-67,  68, 

70,  71,  72,  73,  74,  78,  82-84. 
Formal   notifications,   collecting 

money,  217-218. 
Formal  official  letters,  130-131. 
Formal  social  letters,  138. 

Heading  of  letter,  112,  118, 123. 
Hurry-up  letters,  196. 

Incorrect  punctuation,  20. 
.  Informal  official  letters,  131. 
Informal  social  letters,  135. 
Inquiry  letters,  186-187. 
Inside  address,  115,  123. 


Loose  sentence,  70-71. 

Make-up  of  letter,  123-124. 
Methods  of  j^aragraph  develop- 
ment, 102. 
Misused  words,  61. 

Orders  for  goods,  191. 

Paragraph,  89-90,  94,  100,  102. 

Participle,  dangling,  35-36. 

Periodic  sentence,  70-71. 

Personal  appeal  in  collection  let- 
ters, 225-226. 

Placing  of  modifiers,  25. 

Pronoun,  reference  of,  33. 

Punctuation,  aid  to  clearness,  20, 
38. 

Remittances,  143-144.  ^ 

Reports,  321. 
Retail  advertising,  310. 
Routine  letters,  191. 

Sales  letters,  271-272,  282-283. 
Salutation,  116-117. 
Sentence,  see  clearness,  etc- 
Shall  and  icilly  53. 

Telegrams,  152. 
Threats,  230. 

Unity  in  letters,  179-181. 
Unity  in  paragraph,  94. 
Unity  in  sentence,  21-23. 

Weak  endings,  68. 
Will  and  shall.  53. 


'^/^ 


YB  02215 


